It seemed of all things, their discussion was changing into more of a philosophical debate, pondering on free will and whose actions were responsible by whom. An odd thing, considering the past of the two present.
Almost absentmindedly, Clyde kept his connection to Cha, could feel the workings of djed as they mingled their powers, and exerted their senses upon the poisoner. Of all the magics Clyde had used through Cha, Auristics was always the most interesting, due to the perspective shift he often felt through her. His aura sense felt more... Radiant, through her. At the same time, he felt connected to her, as he worked with her for the magics.
"I have seen all those things as well, my friend. And I wonder how you can claim to know to what degree ALL people can justifiably be affected. Or for how long. I doubt very seriously that ALL people are affected in exactly the same way by hypnosis. Perhaps you have an innate resistance to it that I lack. Perhaps the one who subjected YOU to it lacked Wrenmae's power."
Now though, they were getting into Clyde's domain, magic and djed theory. That was something he did understand, quite well in fact.
The thrum of his voice met Clyde's ears mundanely, but so did the beat of his aura thrumming outward pulse to him magically. As he spoke there was a steady rhythm, a beat to it, with small up swells and down slides, but mostly steady.
"But you still misunderstand me to some extent. While I DO blame Wrenmae for twisting my perception to think you a traitor, I do not say that he "ordered" me to speak out. He was not even there. I do not deny making the choice for myself. For I put my devotion to OUR God above my own welfare. If you are truly going to fault a man for being so devoted as to confront a powerful mage, rather than cringe in fear and allow him to freely go on his way, then I must confess to my complete misunderstanding of the term 'loyalty".
Now though, it was clear the man still did not take responsibility for his own actions. Now he was blaming Rhysol, or his devotion to him, or of him, as the reason he had done what he'd done. Clyde doubted that was the truth, doubted that his actions had been much of anything outside of working in his own self interest. Doubted he'd thought so far as to find blame in Clyde in being not of Rhysol, even though he was, and thus had acted for that reasoning. It was due to nothing he detected magically, more so it was his own instincts that told him so.
Though the statement that he had "confronted a powerful mage" made Clyde almost laugh. He had not confronted him, instead go about it in a sideways roundabout and indirect fashion, sending another in his place. He had not confronted Clyde, instead trying by stealth to maneuver to his own advantage. Yet he had the gall to say he had confronted Clyde... Funny, if not ironic.
"But this is getting us nowhere. I AM sorry, and I DO apologize. But not for resenting that you WILL NOT allow that I was doing what I thought was my duty. My motivation was with the desire to do My God's will, and I do not apologize for that. I fully admit my faulty judgement, but it was the result of the effect I was under."
"And it's very easy for you to say that I am still affected. Naturally, if I am, I will be the last to know. But by that logic, I can accuse YOU of the same thing. Perhaps YOU did not shake it off so well as YOU thought. Maybe that staff, which you keep pounding on my new floor, is empowered somehow to keep you so befuddled as to remain oblivious to the fact that you do the bidding of our enemies. Now, of course, I do not truly think this. But could you PROVE it was not so, if no one wanted to believe you? If they decried your honest insistence as denial?"
This Clyde also found funny. He not only claimed that he was free of any effect, but also that Clyde was himself affected. The fact that he was a mage, using magic at this moment, meant he was not. But then, this man did not know what had been done to him, did not know that the very proof that he was free was the actions of magic Clyde had taken before, which the poisoner found so rude and such. The fact that he was a mage at all, was in direct dispute to the magics used against his mind. He could, in fact, prove it, simply by doing the smallest of spells, and admitting that he was a mage and magic existed. The effect used upon him though had been far less subtle than what had been used on this man.
"And, to clarify, I never made any assassination attempt. My actions were to craft a defensive measure against you."
As Clyde watched, the imagery shifted, taking on a clarity, as a second and third man formed a chain, shifted forward in motion towards a certain doorway. Within a few moments the man in reality made a gesture to the same door, directing Clyde to that door and heading toward it. Yet Clyde had seen it, seen it before he had actually done it. Not seen the specifics of the actions, but seen the door, knew he would be going to it.
As Clyde listened deeper to the echo's from the man, he found more of such images, felt the shifting from place to place, from thing to thing. He felt as the second and third images turned to himself, turned to other doors, turned to other rooms, and back to him. All just before the actual man in fact did turn to or go to those things. As he listened deeper, he found himself more and more concentrated on the task of examining the man, and less and less listening to his words. He still heard them, but slowly more and more he was cognizant less and less of them.
"I would really like to put this all behind us Clyde. I really would. But I'm afraid my very next observation is only going to seem contentious once again. I do not deny keeping a watch for your return. But even without it, I would know that you have not been back long. For you should already know some of what you have asked me. You see, last season, I was arrested and put to the question in the Black Hole."
Clyde recalled his own torture, when he had been marked by Rhysol. But then he had been tortured not by a Druvin, not in the Black Hole, but perhaps by Rhysol himself, or a seeming of Rhysol, or some such confusion. Even to this day the events were clouded and did not make much sense.
But oddest of all, was as Clyde watched in his aura sight, as the man made a indication to the now gone finger, there was an echo. For a moment his physical sight overlaid his magical sight, and as he did it blurred, and in his aura sight all of the fingers were there and intact, even as in his mundane sight he could see the finger missing. But as quickly as it had came, it was gone, forgotten, a wisp escaping. One moment the finger was there in his magical awareness, the next it puffed away as mist, mist carried on a wind.
"This is only the most visible scar of what I suffered. But I make no complaint. My actions from my first days here, brought me to that end, fully deserved. But surprisingly, those actions were not greatly focused on. In fact, they were largely dismissed as actions which proved my creativity and resourcefulness. As if to justify the second chance My God, Rhysol, has given me."
"Now, I am unsure as to whether I am allowed to give you details, despite your rank. For those that questioned me outrank you. I can only assume you can go to The Vitrax and find these things out for yourself. But the reason I mention this is that I was ordered to give my oath of allegiance."
Clyde recalled his own oath taking, his own trials, and his own pain. Rhysol was known for his tests, for his testings of his faithful.
Clyde could sense a small disturbance, an unevenness of the echo's off of the man, of the thrum of his aura, though in a different way. It was not up or down, but side to side, if directions could indeed make sense when explaining a sound and a feeling. But it made sense to Clyde. It was not downward or upward, did not mean the same thing, but something new.
"Now this seems a simple enough thing for a loyal man to do. BUT...in that circumstance, what value is a promise of loyalty and obedience? When it is assumed that a man would say anything to escape further torture? That same conundrum presents itself here and now. How do I give you the proper measure of deference, against our past contention, without it seeming as a coward's defeat, and not genuinely spoken?"
Clyde recalled his question of obedience. He however had never been asked to follow Rhysol. In fact, he had been asked the opposite. He had been asked to turn traitor on him, to assist the Rising Dawn, and to sign a Grand Oath to him. Clyde had declined in a roundabout fashion, and had then been tortured. Then he had been questioned more, along with other oddities and actions.
"So I resisted to the last, announcing this point of view and refusing to swear loyalty under those conditions, avowing such an oath as meaningless. Then, when The Warden gave me a moment's respite, I gave my oath."
Suddenly there was another shifting, a motion of the man, a downward motion as the second man knelt and moved to the floor, while the third stood looking at Clyde. Oddly enough to Clyde, the true man did likewise, kneeling before Clyde, while looking at him. His next words were the most interesting so far.
"Clyde Sullins, soldier of The Ebonstryfe, I Inoadar, certified by the name of 'Nolan Parnell', born 'Trandino Adarius', and going by a number of other aliases, do swear my undying oath, and I give it willingly. I swear on my life and my name, that I know only one true God. I worship only that one God, holding him to be rightful ruler above all other gods, and all that is, and ever shall be. And that god is Rhysol, he that protects Ravok and requires the loyalty of his subjects. I acknowledge that my actions have not always represented my devotion. I am only mortal and lack the full understanding of his will. I acknowledge my error in thinking that I ever knew a truer path, when it was at odds with the commands of his servants, my superiors, being those chosen by his will to direct my actions."
"I swear undivided loyalty to You, my Lord, to your city, Ravok, and to it's guardians and directors, of both body and mind, your Ebonstryfe, your Black Sun and your Druvin. All other priorities are secondary. I have been broken by your will, remade by your will, stronger by your will, and swear to sacrifice my life in its service."
Clyde smiled, motioning for the man, this Trandino Adarius, or as he was known Nolan Parnell, to rise. As he had listened, both mundanely and magically, he had felt the thrum, the evenness, and the purity of tonality. Even and smooth, of one purpose and truth.
Clyde let him finish, before finally responding.
“Rise, Mr.Parnell. Your words... Intrigue me. Let me in turn, tell you a few truths. Though let me finish myself before you interrupt. Let me first begin with a bit of basic djed theory. All magic is done by djed. Djed used, transformed, expended and re-purposed to cause an effect. This is how all magic works, from the flames of Reimancy, to the mind games of hypnotism, to the workings of Magecrafting, as exists in this staff I hold. All are about djed, djed being moved or reused or transformed, and thus causing the end effect.”
“You ask how I know what I know, how I know that I was not simply more resistant to the spell than you were, and that you were not affected more than me because you were weaker. I know this because of the laws of magic. A spell is a spell, no matter what upon. If I manifested a ball of flame, and threw it at you, you would burn. However if I in turn created the same ball of flame, and tossed it at myself, all other being the same, I would just as surely be burned. All magic is as this. One cannot be resistant to magic, one is simply affected. There are exemptions, other rules, and quirks of other magics that distort this, such as say Anti-magic, but at its core magic is magic no matter who upon. You only know the strength of a magic by its end effect, by the spell made manifest, the user does not matter. The strength or weakness of the user does not matter. All that matters is the strength of the used spell. It is how I know that the spell used upon you was weaker than the one used upon me.”
“Hypnotism, as I understand it, acts upon will and belief. The more subtle it is, the more unnoticed, the more likely it is to work. Likewise the more unsubtle, the more obvious and different from ones own thoughts a effect is, the harder it is to do, the stronger the needed effect. Your thoughts, your reasoning, were altered in a small way, one that to a degree was in line with your own thoughts. It worked within your own thought system, within your own mentality, and so was a lesser working when compared.”
“The spell used upon me however, the hypnotic conditioning place upon my mind, was not subtle, did not work within my thoughts, instead working against it. The effect laid upon me was nothing less than telling me, forcing upon my will the fact and telling, that magic was not real. I, a mage, I who could create fire upon a whim, was told that magic was not real, and so strong was the spell that I did not question it, and for years, was a mage who could not use magic, for I did not believe in its existence. So strong was the effect that even when magic was used before me, I explained it away, and still did not believe.”
Clyde paused for a moment, looking up at the ceiling, and taking a moment to rub his hand along Cha to reassure himself of her existence, of his existence, of his magic. The vibration he felt at her contact, the senses of magic through her, were a good way of calming himself.
“You ask then, how I know I am no longer affected by this magic? It is because I have used magic, use magic, am using magic now, and acknowledge this. If I was still affected as I was from the time I was but a child of 12 when I was first so cursed, and until the affect was overthrown with the aid of another strong hypnotists aid but a few years past, then I would not now be a mage, and would still refute the existence of magic.”
Clyde paused once more, the pain of his own brought up and almost forgotten memories clear on his face, and at the secure nature by which he clutched the magic staff Cha, his knuckles whitening.
“Magic is about will, but overcoming Hypnotism is even more so about will, about knowing who you are. While the aid I received helped lift the weight enough to move, to finally overcome the effect and break free of it in its permanence, I myself was responsible for my freedom, for my own freedom, by my own belief conviction and will. Perhaps now you see why I say the same is true of you, in your overcoming said effect. I speak not being unfairly, but from experience, in having overcome much greater trials.”
“And I also hope you understand that what is said here, is to stay here, between the two of us. I speak in confidence that you will be discrete.”
While Clyde did not enjoy the memories, he also knew the importance of remembering. He knew he needed to recall so as to know what he had been through, but also more importantly to never let it happen again.
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