[World/Creature][Peer Review] Installa

(This is a thread from Mizahar's fantasy role playing forum. Why don't you register today? This message is not shown when you are logged in. Come roleplay with us, it's fun!)

This is the Archives forum for Peer Review.

Moderator: Scribes

[World/Creature][Peer Review] Installa

Postby Cyq on January 4th, 2015, 4:16 pm

Original Article.

Introduction:
Installa is a temperate world covered predominantly in thick jungles similar to that of Falyndar, but much less humid and with a climate similar to the Wildlands of Sylira, and with a near-flat terrain broken only briefly by sharp mountains. This is home to the Alsak - intelligent beings that exist somewhere between a coherent society and a herd, with their most valuable asset to the average Summoner being their ability to create grand buildings of unimaginable complexity, often with the aid of their own Djed-manipulating methods similar to that of Reimancy. These creatures are friendly to Mizaharian Summoners, but will not enter portals and travel to Mizahar - meaning that the only way to communicate with them is to enter the world in a process of Reverse-Summoning. Because of this, only a Master Summoner will be able to reap the benefits of a relationship.

Installa
The world that houses the Alsak is considerably smaller than Mizahar and holds only one continent that runs like a ring around the middle of the world - the top and bottom forming oceans with frozen caps at the end, simply known as the North and South seas. The day/night cycle is half that of Mizahar, and the length of years is also halved. Installa only has two seasons in its year - spring and summer. These run parallel to Mizahar, meaning that if one was to travel to Installa during the summer or the winter, it would still be summer in Installa. If one attempted to walk from one ocean to the next, it would take approximately two seasons. Terrain is flat, with only one or two mountains lifting far above the treeline. The weather is what truly sets it apart from other worlds, in its freak conditions that can spark at any moment.

Living on Installa is half-heaven, half-Hai. Half of the season can be spent in near-perfect conditions with the sun high in the sky, not a cloud in the sky.. and the other half, spent in such torturous rain and wind that the only reason its inhabitants remain alive is because they have adapted to survive the onslaught of freak lightning, wind, rain and hail. Tsunamis wash over from either one, sometimes both, of the neighboring seas. Hurricanes can decimate entire sections of forest. These storms can appear suddenly, and can last anywhere between a few bells and half a season.

Because the only stretch of truly habitable land is the small stretch running around the equator, the world only really has one biome - a thick yet temperate jungle, made up predominantly of insects, as well as the birds and mammals that eat them. Not all of these creatures have been cataloged, and there still exist Summoners that purposefully travel to the world to explore it, rather than talk to the Alsak. The various species that survive are the exact opposite of Talderan, in that few of them can match the size of their equivalents of Mizahar. The fiercest predators to be found can be as small as ferrets, and everything becomes progressively smaller before that.

For the most part, a human or a similar creature will have little to no difficulty travelling through the jungles, as even the largest predators are too small to pose a significant threat - even the few animals deemed poisonous do not have enough venom in their bodies to threaten death to a full-grown human. The only exception will be Nuit. Their dead and rotting bodies can become host to all manner of insects and other small scavenger creatures, accelerating their decomposition with small eggs embedded in their skin and foreign maggots digging through their flesh. It is highly recommended that Nuits avoid the area unless they take special measures to protect their health, and even then, it is considered very risky.

The Alsak.
History.
Alsak started out in the world as simple hunters, feeding from insects and the occasional small mammal or bird, if they were exceptionally lucky. In their early years, Alahean wizards discovered the world and made note of it - it was quickly deemed useless and forgotten, without so much as an outpost to speak of. The inhabitants, even the predators, were simply deemed too small and weak to be of any use. Since then, in the five-to-six hundred years, the creatures have developed themselves far beyond recognition of the lone hunters that existed at the time. As Summoning slowly became reintroduced, and visitors appeared from Mizahar again, the Alsak slowly grew accustomed to their presence and some managed to pick up a basic understanding of the Common tongue. They claim that they have been visited by other creatures from other worlds during their growth, although whether these were also from Mizahar and were simply a different race is unknown.

Appearance.
The Alsak, like the rest of the world as a whole, are small things that cannot walk as a normal human would because of its seemingly incredibly short legs. In fact, an Alsaks legs are much larger than they may seem, but have become permanently grafted to its body to ensure that its knees are somewhere near its stomach. Because of this, it can only wobble around rather comically and is generally quite slow. Its arms are covered with a fine layer of fur up to the hands, which are naked and feature wrinkly orange skin with rather sharp black claws on the tips, similar to the feet of a hawk or eagle, only with four fingers and an opposable thumb. Instead of lips or a nose, they have beaks for snapping up the insects that buzz around it. They have short, stubby necks and slender shoulders, giving the illusion that they don't have any at all under the thin fur.

Their fur often comes in a variety of colours, ranging from dirty brown to moss-green. These colours don't actually have significance in their society, but can be used to identify and distinguish individual Alsak - like a humans fingerprint, no two shades are exactly the same. The Alsaks remarkable eyesight means that they can easily distinguish these to a far greater extent than any human. These colours also aid in camouflage, although they lack the same abilities as the Jamoura in this regard. Their colours are really little more than the remnants of their evolution beyond simple insect hunters. With their development, their lifespan has grown to close to a hundred and fifty, to two hundred years.

Psychology.
Alsak are often seen as outgoing, bubbly, social and merry in general by those that meet them. The most apt description is 'care-free', most likely because of the lives that many of them live in safety and peace. Although not all are welcoming of the Mizahar population visiting their cities, in fear that they will 'break something', they are nonetheless tolerant and even able to offer negotiations on labor and materials. That isn't to say that it is impossible to make friends with them. Frequent contact can lead to a very prosperous relationship, especially with the offer of extravagant and exotic goods from Mizahar. Alsak still retain some of their pre-evolution traits, which includes a herd-mind - Alsak will always choose to work coherently, as a group, if given the opportunity. There are smaller herds inside it, made up of different families and social groups, but as a standing rule, and these herds can all be negotiated with. The city-wide herd is what truly stands to make the decisions in the world, though. While smaller herds can hold anywhere between 10 and 50 Alsak, the city-wide herd will hold somewhere in the number of hundreds of thousands.

Society.
Being the social creatures that they are, it wasn't very long after they built their first houses that the Alsak began to form a coherent social structure. Alsak do not judge each-other based off their families or friends, but off the individual alone, and what they have built and contributed to the city as a whole. Because of this, there is no true leader, but the individuals of an Alsak city fall under the category of a herd. Each city is a different herd, and each herd works together in order to benefit the whole in any way possible. Conflict and violence are all incredibly low because the two prime sources for these - food and materials - are freely available to all in plentiful quantities, if one was to leave the city and look to the wilderness outside. Unfortunately, there are still moments of disparity. Violence seen on the streets is seen as more of a comedy than anything though, considering the negligible combat ability of the Alsak, except when it comes down to the use of Reimancy.

Cities.
The architecture of Alsak cities, for those few that have made it inside, are in a league of their own. Instead of clearing forests and mountains to make room for their structures, they incorporate them into the backbone for additional support. They are neither focused deep underground like the Isur, nor on the surface like Sunberth, nor in the branches of the trees above like Kalinor, but across all three almost seamlessly. Interconnected webs of pulleys and bridges can be found scattered high above, with some houses only pushing partially out of the upper sections of the trees, and the rest built around them like small growths. The undergrounds span deep and wide, forming wide chasms held together with pillars of thick stone.

They are held within thick walls, and the highest layer is often covered with a thick roof - like a dome - that can protect them from the thickest storms that often burn through the city and threaten the Alsak. The condensed cities can often enhance the integrity of the surrounding forest, meaning that the trees that hold their houses will be forcibly rooted down in place, and the ground under which the tunnels lie will remain stoic no matter how much pounding rain drives into it. Such is the way that the Alsak have survived for so many years in such torturous conditions - and the reason that they work together. One individual house would never be able to brave the storms, but together, their cities can.

One of the most interesting features of Alsak architecture is their incorporation of Reimancy into it. It's common to see it being practiced in the streets, and almost a necessity when it comes to the construction of buildings - whether in the form of water to wear down the stone, or earth to build supporting pillars. Despite the well-known fragility of Earth Reimancy constructs, the Alsak have perfected it into an artform. They are also well-aware of the effects and dangers of Overgiving, and for this reason, they often work in very large teams on even small tasks. In very rare occasions, the groups can come together in offense and have been known to be ruthless in their ability to perfectly synchronize attacks.

These cities would likely take days for an Alsak to cross, and the same would go for a regular human. Because of their sheer epic size, there are only three known, and therefore only three likely to exist.

Magic.
It is unknown whether the Alsak learned magic from the few travelers that came to Mizahar, or from the 'others' that visited, or even if they discovered it themselves, as they suggest. The only magic they are truly aware of is Reimancy, which they call Qes. This name both refers to the art, and what they are using to perform it. A vast majority, if not the entirety of the Alsak will know at least a basic understanding of Reimancy. How much they incorporate it into daily life and their architecture is up to them, although those that are able to wield it with the grace of Masters are widely praised.

Relationships with Mizaharian Summoners.
Alsak are not violent creatures, or deadly predators by nature. There will always be one that will take up an offer of violence, but these will be ones among thousands. However, with the right amount of negotiation, one could persuade them to travel across to Mizahar for a brief stretch of time in order to create something of worth - be it a simple house, or a mansion These are truly things to be marveled - able to withstand quakes and Yukman horde stampedes as though they were nothing, and of obscene scale and beauty. Unfortunately, there are downsides. Because of the Alsak herd-like mentality, it would not be enough to summon one of them to Mizahar, but many of them at once - this can depend on the scale of the job.

These drawbacks pale in comparison to the true results though. One with sufficient influence in Installa will be able to traverse beyond the simple settlements of Mizahar, and form outposts both in Mizahar and other worlds that will stand for eons. It can even be suggested that this is what some have done in the past, for those buildings that have stood the test of time better than any other.
User avatar
Cyq
A Tiny Terror
 
Posts: 114
Words: 116393
Joined roleplay: August 1st, 2014, 5:33 pm
Race: Pycon
Character sheet
Scrapbook
Plotnotes

[World/Creature][Peer Review] Installa

Postby Sedge on January 13th, 2015, 3:54 am


I'm going to give some very high-level comments here, rather than nitpick the details, because I think this article needs a good bit more work. I think there's potential in the concept -- it certainly doesn't seem like your average summoning world -- but if I set out to have my character strike a deal with the Alsak, there are a couple of major points on which I would be drawing blanks as it stands now.

First of all, I'm not really seeing what the Alsak do in terms of architecture that is different from what already exists on Mizahar. I've read this several times, and mostly come away with "all the things Mizaharan architects do, but they do them better". I would really like to see more about what sets Alsak architecture apart. Techniques, philosophies, conventions, materials and methods. Don't just draw parallels with Mizaharan architecture; really show me what the Alsak bring to the negotiating table. Not just in 'benefits', but in style, characteristics, design choices. You imply the structures are resistant to basically everything; what are the tradeoffs for durability? For example, if the walls are thick earth, then do they bother with windows? Windows in thick walls won't let much light through, and they can be vulnerable points to weather/water in general. If, say, the Alsak build everything with arches for stability and strength, then that affects layout, stories, and means lots of curves everywhere. Do they choose materials for strength, durability, aesthetics? Do they paint or otherwise ornament surfaces? By what means? Also, if commissioned by a Summoner, do they follow local design practices, or employ their own styles no matter what? What is the building process like? Is there a usual progression -- foundation to roof, outside to inside, sunrise to sunset, whatever -- and how long is it likely to take? And so on; these questions only scratch the surface. There are a lot of details that could be explored here, and should be.

Ultimately: What do I get if my character strikes a deal with the Alsak? What is compelling and motivating about their work? Why do I want to go through all the trouble of accommodating their peculiarities? And after I finally do seal that bargain, what do I write about the building process and its final shape? All this is the primary attraction of the world; it should also be the meat of the article.

Also... what would an Alsak want from a Mizaharan summoner? What do they value? How much of a price do they put on their architecture, on the journey from their world? I have no idea, from this writeup, what my hypothetical summoner should offer to persuade even the least of the Alsak to come build my mansion. Do they value art, science, trade goods, strings of beads... What is 'exotic' from their perspective? Obviously, the exact deal is going to vary, but some guidelines would be a huge boon. Also, guidelines for how many Alsak would be expected for different projects, and scaling negotiations accordingly.

Those are the really important things as far as article additions go. I'm going to wrap up with a few other comments about the Alsak history and their relationship with Mizahar.

I have to admit, I'm pretty dubious about the sweeping implications you draw towards the end of the writeup, given that a) the Alsak didn't exist much before the Valterrian, b) they don't enter Summoning circles, and c) because of that, they are only available to Master Summoners who risk reverse Summoning. "It can even be suggested that this is what some have done in the past, for those buildings that have stood the test of time better than any other." -- Like what? Pre-Valterrian structures? But Alahea considered the world 'useless', and the Alsak didn't exist as a society, so that doesn't make sense. Post-Valterrian buildings really haven't been put to the test of time -- it's only been 300 years and change since most Mizaharan peoples returned to the surface. Fairly ordinary buildings can persist a couple hundred years. Furthermore, given the youth of the Alsak as a people, I'm not convinced there would be much of any IC lore about them on Mizahar at all. Also: "One with sufficient influence in Installa will be able to traverse beyond the simple settlements of Mizahar" -- What do you mean, 'traverse'? To yet other worlds? And what do you mean, 'influence in Installa'? What does that consist of? How is it earned? Why would a Mizaharan Master Summoner really care about having influence in Installa?

The other side of that point -- I'm also dubious about the Alsak knowing Common or having much of any knowledge about Mizahar. They only 'grew up' within the last few hundred years, Summoning is in marked disfavor just about everywhere on Mizahar, and Master Summoners have to have been pretty thin on the ground in that same timeframe. Never mind Master Summoners who practice reverse Summoning, obtained the coordinates for this little old historically-thought-useless world, and gave it any thought after checking it out at lower skill levels and finding just a bunch of non-sentient critters in their circles. I think, if the Alsak have learned anything of Mizahar, it needs to be more strongly explained and justified than by saying "a few Summoners have passed through". You might consider having them be a viable culture in pre-Valterrian times as well -- perhaps not so developed in their skill, but still noted and visited by Alahean Summoners, with more opportunities for cultural contamination. You might also consider having some Alsak be amenable to Summoning, even if only the young and foolish. That would also open up the world to a wider range of interactions and more opportunities for information flow.

I hope this feedback is useful, and I look forward to your revisions!

Image Image Image
User avatar
Sedge
Scrivener
 
Posts: 91
Words: 34531
Joined roleplay: November 15th, 2014, 6:37 pm
Race: Human
Office
Scrapbook


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests