She could hear what he was thinking? That was amazing. And frightening, in more ways than one. Mostly though, it was frightening, because the only thought that seemed to be going through his head at the moment was how beautiful Autumn looked. He had always thought she was beautiful, but this time, there was something different about it. This time it seemed to matter more. Maro couldn’t explain the feeling, but she wasn’t supposed to know he felt this way.
He didn’t like this anymore. His thoughts were supposed to be his own; that’s why they were thoughts. But here Autumn was, sharing everything he thought, and there were some things he would rather she didn’t know, at least not yet. He tried to calm his mind and think about something else, something other than how beautiful she was, but his mind would not focus. As dozens of thoughts flooded through his head, only the one kept resurfacing.
When Autumn laughed, Maro was certain this brief secret of his had been discovered. He didn’t like her reaction to it either. That he found her beautiful was a comical thing to her hurt him.
His fears were put rest though when she spoke. We’re on a black sand beach. I’m in my dress, and you’re a jackal.
Maro’s panic subsided. This was a meditation that he often used to calm and focus himself when he was making Soulmist for Autumn. He latched on to that thought and tried to concentrate on it as much as possible. Maybe if she was focused on this meditation of his, she would miss the thought he was so worried about her knowing.
He emphasized every detail of the meditation he could. First came the black sand of the beach, the dark grains and the way they felt as they shifted beneath his paws and squished through his toes.
This is amazing, Maro. I can see even more detail now. And the sand, I can feel it beneath my feet.
Then, there were the boulders that were strewn about the beach, huge gray monoliths trying to withstand the constant onslaught of the patient ocean as it undermined them. Some of these had ended up far beyond the tideline, had escaped the erosive doom their brothers faced. There was, of course, the ocean, sending gentle waves against the sandy shore but filling the air with a briny mist with the waves that crashed against the colossal stones in the water. The sky overhead was overcast, dark gray clouds filling the sky. The storm, far out at sea still, darkened everything, and the lightning that danced erratically through the clouds like drunken revelers was followed by deep rumbling thunder that could be heard above the crash of waves.
It’s beautiful. Her tone was awestruck. I can practically taste the salt in the air and smell the rain.
Maro himself was there as well, leaping about, the sand spraying from beneath him as his paws struck and kicked to propel him into the air again. The wind whipping off the ocean ruffled his fur that was covered with a fine layer of salty droplets. His thick tail swished about behind him, leaving an odd pattern in the sand whenever it swept low enough. All this combined to create a scene dominated by black and gray and white and brown.
Then, there was Autumn. She was materialized in full color. Her white dressed was trimmed with silver and green in dancing floral patterns. Her long reddish-brown hair spilled over her shoulders and down to her waist, tumbling in curls as it went. Above it all though were her eyes, bright blue that would have put the summer skies to shame. And as she threw out a laughing challenge to the threatening storm, the thought he dreaded came. She was beautiful in a way he had never recognized before. Damn it! Her beauty would not be forgotten, and it was the one thing he was trying not to think about.
He panicked as he felt Autumn begin to dig through his thoughts. At least, he tried to panic, but as terrified as he felt, his heart was calm, beating as slowly as it would if he were meditating. It was beating for Autumn right now, not himself. The feeling of his thoughts being unearthed was unpleasant, to say the least. He felt as if a million secrets were being brought out into the light for everyone to see and judge him by, though he was certain his secrets only numbered in the dozens. His panic built, and he tried to run away from Autumn before he remembered he didn’t control his own body.
Though his thought words needed no breath, he gasped out to Autumn. It was as if his mind understood the panic and translated the emotion into the way he thought. Autumn, let me go.
Don’t worry, Maro. Everything’s alright.
This time he practically yelled at her, his panic reaching its height. Let me go now!
Suddenly, control of his body returned to him, and his heart beat leapt to a rapid patter to match the panic he felt. The sudden sensation of his heart rate going from sixty beats a chime to two hundred hit him like a blow to the gut, and Maro lost his breath. He had collapsed to the ground when his body had become his own again, but he knew he would have fallen when his heart reacted this way. He spent several moments trying to regain his breath, but it would not come.
Then, came a frigid touch on his shoulder and his cheek. “Maro, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t think that would hurt you. I didn’t know…”
The sound of her voice, hers, coming from her lips outside of his mind, comforted him and calmed him along with her cool contact. He caught his breath and, when he did, began to hyperventilate. This was more frightening than he had expected it to be, and that it was his dearest friend that had caused it only made it worse.
Once he had calmed considerably, Autumn left his side, poured him a glass of water, and brought it back in shaking hands. Projection was difficult for her and manipulating the physical world was always a challenge. That she was doing this for him was a sign of how much she cared for him, and it only made her more beautiful. He took the cup from her hand before it could slip out of her grasp and thanked her. They sat in silence for a while, her always with one cold hand on his arm.
Autumn spoke after a while. “I’m sorry, Maro. Your thoughts are supposed to be your own and it was wrong of me to go prying through them the way I did. I betrayed the trust you gave me, and I can only beg you to forgive me.”
Maro looked into her bright blue eyes. “You know I forgive you. I could never not forgive you.”
“Then, I hope you’ll forgive me one more time, because I have to talk to you about one of thoughts I heard while I was in your head.”
The look in her eyes said she was displeased. She knew. He was certain of it, but there was nothing he could do to change that, so he nodded to let her know she should continue. He dreaded what she would say and gulped guiltily in anticipation.
“It was when I first began to hear your thoughts, Maro. You wished that I had had a different life.”
Maro was relieved. His secret was still safe, but he didn’t care about that at the moment. There were tears in her eyes, and his concern was all for her now.
“That’s not okay,” she continued. “I wouldn’t trade anything for the life I have had with you. If I had a choice, I would go through my death again and again, just so I could have these few precious years we have already shared.”
He wished he could hug her, but she was a spirit. Instead, he used his words to comfort her as best as he could. “You don’t need forgiveness for saying that. I’m happy for the time we’ve had as well, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I don’t ever want you to leave.”
She smiled and embraced him, and since he could not return the gesture, he let her hold him as long as she wanted. |
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