As soon as she spoke of her worries, Gwin felt their weight sinking on her shoulders once again. Noticing his gaze upon her sheets, she pressed her lips together and rolled the parchment up in a few quick motions. It contained embarrassment, but she was also annoyed at her own imperfections. The song she’d hummed, then sung with the Benshira had sounded more sincere, more vivid. Of course, it had been polished by generations of desert people sitting at their campfires, but Gwin had grown tired of excuses a long time ago.
As the parchment disappeared into her satchel, Hirem laid his hand on her shoulder. At first she flinched, unfamiliar with such displays of emotion, but the warmth of his palm soothed her. His understanding did too. Although her Akvatari nature told her to disregard his feelings, to dismiss them as trivial since he lacked the furry tail and wings, that one time her longing for companionship was stronger. Although she wanted to interrupt his speech, she bit back the words.
They were still bubbling up and she could barely contain them until he finished. “What if it’s inevitable though? What if the search commands me to sacrifice control over myself in order to achieve what I’ve been looking for? Don’t tell me it’s not worth sacrificing everything for…” Because it was. Gwin believed Hirem knew that too, so she said no more. His warning had reminded her of her conversation with the witch less than a season ago, when she’d been caught in a web woven of an immense darkness she’d never experienced before. What if Evalin asked her to abandon her identity?
Her brow furrowed when he mentioned the gods. What had they ever given her? She certainly wouldn’t follow their path, not without a good reason and some convincing. The next moment, however, he answered her question. The architect of your own journey… There was that, so profound, so easy to forget. “Thank you,” she offered eventually, “for your kind warning. I guess I needed it. You were pulling the words from experience, right? What is it that you’re looking for?”
The nervous fever they’d been talking of seemed to die down and settle between them. Alements grew quieter as the last remnants of their music disappeared, people returned to their drinks and conversations. Gwin realized her tea had grown cold a long time ago and asked for a fresh pot. Once it arrived with a second cup, she offered it to Hirem.
As the parchment disappeared into her satchel, Hirem laid his hand on her shoulder. At first she flinched, unfamiliar with such displays of emotion, but the warmth of his palm soothed her. His understanding did too. Although her Akvatari nature told her to disregard his feelings, to dismiss them as trivial since he lacked the furry tail and wings, that one time her longing for companionship was stronger. Although she wanted to interrupt his speech, she bit back the words.
They were still bubbling up and she could barely contain them until he finished. “What if it’s inevitable though? What if the search commands me to sacrifice control over myself in order to achieve what I’ve been looking for? Don’t tell me it’s not worth sacrificing everything for…” Because it was. Gwin believed Hirem knew that too, so she said no more. His warning had reminded her of her conversation with the witch less than a season ago, when she’d been caught in a web woven of an immense darkness she’d never experienced before. What if Evalin asked her to abandon her identity?
Her brow furrowed when he mentioned the gods. What had they ever given her? She certainly wouldn’t follow their path, not without a good reason and some convincing. The next moment, however, he answered her question. The architect of your own journey… There was that, so profound, so easy to forget. “Thank you,” she offered eventually, “for your kind warning. I guess I needed it. You were pulling the words from experience, right? What is it that you’re looking for?”
The nervous fever they’d been talking of seemed to die down and settle between them. Alements grew quieter as the last remnants of their music disappeared, people returned to their drinks and conversations. Gwin realized her tea had grown cold a long time ago and asked for a fresh pot. Once it arrived with a second cup, she offered it to Hirem.