Wandering in the cold[open]

[Mastermind]

AWARDS Jokor Skills Observation +1, Negotiation +1, Running +1, Brawling +2, Weapon (Thrown Rock) +1 Lore Stealing From the Weak Grabbing Wild Animals Can be Painful It's easy to fall when the ground is wet Don't steal from girls with big brothers A Twisted Ankle can get you killed Shapeshifters are Scary The Strong Prey on the Weak in Sunberth Pee Warms the Legs Notes You asked for some writing tips, so I'm going to give you a bunch. First off, make sure you put spaces after punctuation. It makes your posts a little hard to read when you don't put spaces after your periods and commas. I noticed you started doing this in your later posts, so I imagine someone has already given you that tip. Also, you may want to spellcheck your posts. Try to avoid the F-bomb, and use "petch" instead. It's the Mizahar equivalent. NPC interactions are usually limited to barkeeps, shop clerks and the like, unless it's a flashback. Proof read, proof read, proof read. I hope I don't come across like a jerk here, but I like where you character is going, and I want to see your writing blossom. Niera Skills Brawling +2, Hunting +1, Stealth +1, Rhetoric +1, Weapon (Dagger) +1, Running +1 Lore The Chill of Nudity in the Rain Making men blush with your body Slumming It, Rats for Dinner Most People Don't Walk Around Naked The Strong Prey on the Weak in Sunberth Hitting Weak Spots Items Dagger Notes Please re-read the Kelvic lore. Your fox fangs don't carry over into human form. Maybe I just misread, and you meant normal human teeth, but it came across as actual fangs, not just human canines. Also, same thing as above. Proof read and spell check your posts, to make them easier to read for others. And avoid controlling NPCs, especially having them give you stuff. Trassen Skills Reimancy +1 Lore The Strong Prey on the Weak in Sunberth Gathering Amusement From Other's Suffering Scavaging in Sunberth Items Bloody Winter Blanket ALL If you have any issues with my awarding, PM me, and we'll discuss it. I only awarded one point for some skills that were used, since they weren't used more than once or twice, nor with great detail. For more XP, go into more detail.

[Mastermind]

I am re-grading this thread. I was excited to grade my first post and did so hastily. I have since read some enlightening things about grading. Realizing I was ferociously stingy here, I will be re-evaluating the entire thread. All participants will be PMed after I have finished and edited the above post.