[Ricky] The Sincere Oddities of A Writer

by **Ricky Maze** on February 15th, 2015, 9:12 am

I really need to reconsider how that light blue looks before using it for further templates... Anyways this is another "Hey Miza" drop in I decided to do, I know my activity here has fluctuated only a bit but a few of you already know why. I've moved in with my best friend a couple of weeks ago so its been real busy here, I've been kept pretty occupied with work and going out around town here and there. That and I also happen to be working on that same novel I started back in some other day, and its progress has been pretty smooth compared to the first few attempts at doling out words. Of course there's a long way to go before I can consider myself anywhere near done with it, but anyways I figured I'd just say that while all this has kept me occupied I still am writing if not secretly plotting on Miza in what spare time I find.

I've actually just recently decided to put my Google account to use, and migrate my old excell files to Drive since its proving to be rather beneficial. Not that there isn't anything to look at, but I did decide to share a link for Ricky's files if anybody wanted to poke around, not everything has been completely moved though and of course reformatting it might take a bit. Anyways the part I really am excited to share in this post is the fact that I've something else that's kept me busy, and it just so happens to be the very cute little puppy I adopted and named Odis!

Secret :

Yeah the image is kinda huge but that's my baby! I managed to adopt him Feb 6 which was two days before he was a month old, by that time he was already able to eat soft food and of course was fed bottled milk until his teeth started to come in. Now that they have he's teething like crazy, and has a habit of chewing on (Looking up to the ceiling to think) pants legs, curtains, blankets, shoe laces, practically anything he can stuff in his mouth. He's been eating hard food as well actually, which I think has helped in part of the teething too. Everyday I come home from work his tail will start wagging as soon as he sees me, and of course puppy breath ain't something I'm accustomed to but I manage to deal with it when he decides to give those puppy kisses.

The other night the little rascal didn't want to go to sleep either, literally sat in my lap and whined like he were throwing a temper tantrum. It was one of those moments where I should've grabbed the phone and record it, but didn't think about it 'til after it happened at the time. Anyways I already love this little guy and enjoy every minute I get to spend with him, and I can admit I already feel bittersweet about him growing up on me. I'll have to do a vlog soon, and get into the spirit of doing more than just one, and introduce him in person... although it's on camera. Still! Vlogs! Those and some other things are inbound at some point, just as soon as I can manage to put my activities on a set schedule like I did before!

by **Ssezzkero** on February 15th, 2015, 2:09 pm

Awwww! I don't know anyone who isn't a sucker for cute little furry animals, and I would love to see him! Awwww!

by **Ricky Maze** on February 22nd, 2015, 8:09 am

Gods! It's been so busy that half the time I can't keep up with everything, that video is gonna happen on my next day off though and I'm going to note it down! Anyways I figured I needed to share this because it's actually really important, and me talking about it with my best friend and then my mother has made me all the more aware about it.

Deep down I'm... Heh well giving the fact I've to look up in thought to figure out what words come to mind, and given the fact its very hard to explain its easier to get to the heart of it all. I'm not a very open person and I've even shared this, its hard for me to be open to the world because of several reasons. Really there's only one reason that holds me back and for the longest time I've thought it because I'd be rejected for who or whatever I am, but in truth there's really nobody but me that is rejecting that because I'm too afraid. The world is a scary place, the truth is a scary thing, reality itself is and always has been something scary to face for me. I've always found ways to cope with it like daydreaming and just avoiding any means of social attention, as much as I enjoy having friends I proved to be a real loner. When my best friend, probably the only closest friend I've ever had in person, pointed this out to me I laughed. That's right. Because crying somehow feels like a sign of weakness to me, I laughed because she spoke true when she said that I'm the one who is rejecting myself. It hurt to finally realize that its been me all along, but at the same time it felt oddly amazing to finally hear someone say it to me.

Then when I finally spoke with my own mother about the ordeal and our discussion, she pointed out the one thing that makes this flaw I have so real. Perfection. I've always been a real perfectionist at heart, even though I may not present it so strongly I try to represent what I feel is comfortably ideal for everyone's own standards. Rather than face a problem I've always tried to reason with myself and reflect to where it's not really a problem anymore, just an obstacle I learn to avoid in time. Which isn't really a good thing, especially when you've the worst confidence in yourself. Anyways I remembered a quote from a simple fortune cookie that soon came into play.

"Humor is the affirmation of dignity"

That's what it said, the rest of the quote says "A declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him." I couldn't understand its meaning at first, I found it pure symbolism in something and shrugged it off at first. Maybe it meant I need to laugh more or something, but somehow it was brought up because of what my mother said and then a meaning finally came. It can easily reference to laughing at one's own mistakes, and not letting them get the better of himself. Perfection is only an idea, something that shouldn't get anybody down. I understand that mistakes happen and you can only do better, but because of this I learned that I don't need to be afraid of mistakes, instead I need to be willing to make them and learn from them should they actually occur. Learning this I also learned that living with a smile isn't just enough, I've to do more and be more if I want to find what really makes me happy; not content.

Hence why I've been staying busy more or less, learning more about this kind of stuff is actually good. I've rattled on enough though, I just really wanted to share what I learned with everyone. Things are going good right now, and I'm pretty sure they can only get better in due time.

by **Ricky Maze** on March 27th, 2015, 4:52 am

Ugh! That's all I gotta say after the weekly long wait in trying to get my laptop back into shape, which there's a good story behind how it happened so I'll just get right down to it. This all started with the phone that I had at the time which happened to be a personal favorite of mine, the samsung galaxy S3 model had been a phone I upgraded to after I cracked the screen on the Droid ZTE Merit that I had, which was in fact the very same phone I used when I first came back to Miza. So naturally I was very, very happen to have a phone with better memory and data usage as I could keep up with Miza, Facebook, practically anything with the damn thing, and I'd only managed to drop it occasionally because it'd slipped out of my grasp or I'd gotten less careless than I should've, and to my greater regret which provided a valid lesson I didn't purchase a protective case for it.

Twice I managed to crack the screen and it still worked just fine, yet somehow (I can't even remember how the event transpired anymore) I managed to drop it again. Accidents happen of course, and this one happen to be the one to finish the phone for good. With the actual screen itself split across instead the glass, the phone became useless as it wouldn't respond to motions of my finger, and surely within five minutes I watched the light fade out from my phone. Literally, from the bottom left screen to the top right it faded to black, still could power on but the screen was done for. The whole phone was practically, so I went ahead and decided to get the S4 and see if that'd be any better. I figured since it would be a newer model, it'd be better than the one I had beforehand. Now here... I'm really rolling my eyes because this is where the major lesson, moral of the story I guess?, comes into play the most.

Next thing I do is get on the internet and purchase a phone, read the general review and find it seems alright. So without reading into it further I purchased it, and sure enough it comes in half a week later. At the time I didn't realize this nor connected the term, but the phone was actually jail broken when I bought it. Yep. And my stupidity led me to ignore that until later when this whole laptop business started... anyways, I plug in the phone to the laptop because I'm getting it set up with everything; music, apps, blah blah stuff. That's when everything went downhill, because after the drivers for the phone were installed on the laptop, a lag was soon generated every time I even moved the mouse around. It was hardly noticeable at first and didn't seem harmful as I figured it'd been the phone, new phone likely slowing the computer down. But no. Instead whatever hijacking program was used on the phone wound up being put on the computer, and sure enough programs that didn't belong were found on here while others were missing. What's worse, the CPU and Memory drive were being used up at once, and it got to the point where I needed professionals to take care of it.

There was literally like 77 background tasks running all at once, and even the weirder fact was that a few programs were installed on here twice! So after a weekends worth of waiting I finally got the laptop back today, and its all working fine again. Said phone is no longer a concern as it's not getting anywhere near another computer hopefully, since it won't be in my possession anymore. (Sigh of relief there.) Right now I have a different phone that serves better, although its an adjustment I've had to make. I really do like it and will admit I am impressed with its quality and performance, I'm not really sure what the popular preference is for a phone but the Nukia's got my vote. Nokia and Samsung are what I would find preferable, but now I'm distracting myself from the point. Moral of the story is; read and research anything you're looking into buying. Literally take the time to thoroughly look at it and consider what it comes with, this whole ordeal has definitely taught me that sure enough.

by **Ricky Maze** on May 4th, 2015, 4:54 am

Here lately I've been thinking that maybe I should leave where I am at, just pack my bags and move on to a new place really. It's become one of those things where you grow tired of the same place everyday and the people there don't really help to the cause, more or less because the city I live close to is full of idiots and... in most cases "not nice" people fits the term appropriately. I mean there's the good types you meet and get to know, but you don't really know anybody at all half the time. It's like its cool to hang out with them for a little, but any more than you might as well be stuck up each others asses. Though that makes me sound like I'm brooding doesn't it? Or complaining. Honestly I've become indifferent with the matter really, sweep it under the rug plenty of times and you can easily learn to just overlook it all together.

Anyways. Its just reached that time for me I guess, time to have a fresh start in somewhere new. I might be actually moving out of state if I'm lucky enough, something I never expected I would ever manage to do at all really. I hate change a lot but once I've had enough I can easily embrace it, and sure as hell will make quick last minute decisions in doing so. Though that isn't the problem I find myself thinking about, often its whether or not I'll pull a complete fuck up somewhere. I know good and well when something's done it isn't easy to change things, and sometimes if you're unlucky enough you won't even be able to take a step back to where you were before. Guess in a way I'm admitting I'm scared of the idea, but I'm fully ready to embrace the change all the same. It'll be a challenge for sure, except it all depends on how things play out within these next few weeks. That's pretty much my update for the previous month, well see how this one turns out yeah?

by **Vizayas** on May 4th, 2015, 5:59 am

At first I thought you were talking about Mizahar, and I was about to reply and say "No! Don't leave us, friend! We will shower you in kindness, just wait and see!"

I hope your move goes well. It's tough to point your life in another direction.

by **Ricky Maze** on May 4th, 2015, 6:33 am

Ack! I hadn't intended on giving that impression for anybody here, I love this place too much for one! I could never dream of leaving this place behind, the fun in writing and scheming within the plots for one! But of course I mainly love and enjoy being here because of the friends I have, even when they're a long distance off I can still think of them as such. When you share your time with others and actually go out your way to talk with one another, you find quite a lot of things in common with the people that write on the site. Of course there are times where one can need a break, always will be if one indulges too much.

But anyways I thank you.

Moving isn't something I've always been fond of because the amount of change it can bring, but I'm hopeful this one will take me in a new direction should it happen as planned.

by **Ricky Maze** on May 13th, 2015, 6:07 am

So it looks as though I am in fact going to move to Nebraska by the end of next month, which is a pretty big step that is about to happen granted I live all the way down in Arkansas. It both excites as well as unnerves me just a bit because its been a different kind of change, one I've needed to have for a while now since I can't seem to catch a break down here. I know I've not had anywhere near as hard of a time as a lot of others over the past few months, and I will admit they have been on my mind quite a number of times. Considering that this opportunity has actually come up though, its something I'm ready for because of what it may welcome. I can't say I know what to expect, I mean even living down here I can't tell, only that everyday almost likes to blur together.

But enough about that rant. I've been meaning to share some things on here about the decorating business, here lately it seems I've gotten a lot better with it and have even considered doing a small business on my own. Dunno how that'll work out of course but one we've finally gotten our things moved, I'll definitely look into it after we're settled in our new home for sure. I can't really place the images in this template because they are rather large, but if they're too large then I can PS them to a smaller size for everyone's sanity.

This image here is one where they had the other two ladies and me try and decorate round cakes, make them look like they were watermelon and cherry pies. The ones I finished are on the right side, and I can honestly admit I was surprised when they said they liked mine better. Really I just looked at the picture we were basing our cakes off of, and then checked out theirs before I got into doing my own. It had turned out to be something fun to attempt, granted it wasn't something we were normally doing everyday.

So yeah overall everybody had fun with it and they had me do twelve rounds the next day, probably the most fun I had when I got started in doing them too. I'll have to poke around and see what else I have to share, since I know I did a couple of other good cakes everyone seemed to like as well.

by **Ricky Maze** on May 19th, 2015, 6:38 pm

So I actually had a pretty awesome laid back birthday yesterday, it was a day off from work and I had plenty of awesome friends on Facebook as well as Miza, who gave birthday wishes and for that I'm always grateful for! Overall it was the nice kick back kind of day everyone always needs, and with my wrist better I can get back into gear with my posting.

by **Ricky Maze** on June 5th, 2015, 8:52 pm

Hey guys,

So I've decided that a little bit of a forward apology is in order due to my lack of motivation towards posts here recently, I know I haven't been on top of everything like I could've been but between season change matters and some other matters, I'll admit I've been heavily distracted from posting when I've really been wanting to. Overall my excuses are narrowed down to real life matters that've been mostly time concerning, for instance here lately I've dealt with feeling sick with what might've been the flu. Not sure if it was but I had a few symptoms that hinted it could've been the flu, and on top of that I've pretty much legitimately just quit my job due to being sick. After I recovered from whatever the hell I had earlier, my sinuses only continued to get worse. Now I might as well say I've gotten bronchitis, though I would rather have a doctor's opinion on that if things don't get better.

So yeah, dealing with getting sick twice in one go has been a little stressful, and like I said I pretty much just gave up on my job since missing anymore would result in a termination anyways. Not that it matters though because my last day was coming up anyways, what with this moving to Nebraska which is several states away. Overall June just looks to be one big distraction that's started to stress me out a little, and I think it's finally started to show in my activities more since I've only posted sporadically recently. But lame excuses aside and all, just bear with me for a bit guys, once everything is finally calmed down I'll be sure pick up on what I can. I might be just slightly out of touch after we start moving, depending on how long it takes to get internet hooked up when we're settled, but I'll definitely be keeping in touch with everyone in that time. I love this forum and love seeing my friends on here, so its just one big step after another when all this comes to pass.

So yeah. June is a little hectic but once the last weekend rolls around, we'll be moving on to a new place and a new life. Can't wait to see what fresh changes might occur.