[Peer Review] Singing [Skill]

[Orin Fenix]

Lore Workshop Thread OOCFirst time through and though I proofread it, I'm sure there are tons of grammar and content issues. Thanks to anyone who reviews it! Singing Quote: Priestess of Rhaus: "Singing is the soul's way of speaking" Synopsis: Singing is the art of using the voice to make music through rhythm and pitch. Either accompanied or unaccompanied, singing is one of the most common art forms and is practiced widely by almost every culture. Typically, at least some natural talent is required, but even those without any can still improve their singing. Just having a beautiful voice is not enough; it takes a lot of vocal training and a serious dedication to the art to reach the pinnacle of one’s vocal abilities. Prerequisites and Related Skills: There are no prerequisites for singing. Some related skills are Music Composition, Play Musical Instrument, and Busking. To further enhance their performance, skilled singers learn about Acting, Dancing, Flirting, and even Seduction. Overview: Voice parts: Typically voice parts are divided between men and women. These are designated by someone’s vocal range, the term used to refer to the notes that person can comfortably sing. The most common divisions between vocal ranges, starting from the highest and ending with the lowest, are Soprano and Alto, the female vocal parts, and Tenor and Bass, the male vocal parts. In a choir these parts may be broken down even further into two parts for each range, with the first part typically singing the upper melodic line. This is an informal classification system. The more classic and formal system has the parts, from highest to lowest as soprano, mezzo-soprano and contralto for women and tenor, baritone, and bass for men. It is rare to find vocal ranges that fit neatly into these categories, but it is helpful for classification. Some of the best singers either have ranges that don’t correspond to these parts, or are able to sing well above or below what their voice part normally would be. Vocal range is completely unrelated to a singer’s tone or musicality. Just because someone can hit a note does not mean that they will sound attractive while doing so. There are also some more unusual voice parts. Treble is commonly assigned to children whose voices are usually in the soprano range. A countertenor is a man whose voice would be considered to fit in a female voice part. Many countertenors are actually castrati, which are men who were castrated so they would not lose their high voice after puberty. In general, after puberty it takes a few years for both men and women’s voices to settle into their adult ranges. Keep in mind that these divisions apply mostly to the human and human derived races. Certain races have special attributes when it comes to singing. Zith have a naturally larger voice range. They can even hit notes well outside the hearing of other species, traveling into the subsonic and ultrasonic ranges. Pycons, with their malleable nature, can shape themselves to alter their voices as well as produce sounds that no other race can. One race in particular that has a completely unique method of singing is the Charoda. They have adopted their language and their vocals to be heard underwater. Sound travels much differently underwater, moving slower, but traveling much greater distances. In the water, Charoda melodies are often one of the most beautiful in the world. Outside it, however, they lose any semblance of musicality. Therefore, Charoda often have trouble learning to sing on the surface. Konti singers are also capable of singing underwater. However, they do not run into as many issues singing on the land as Charoda, nor Konti singers sound as good as the Charoda without proper training underwater. Vocal Breaks, Chest Voice, and Head Voice: Typically voice ranges are not completely smooth and are separated by vocal breaks. These vocal breaks are different for each individual. When a singer reaches their vocal break, either coming up or heading down, they must switch to either their head voice or their chest voice. With proper training, vocal breaks can be either corrected or worked around. Most singers have at least an intuitive ability to switch from one voice to another, and training simply improves this skill. One method is called sliding. Instead of actually trying to hit the break, the singer can slide from the one above it to the one below or vice versa. At high enough skill levels vocal breaks can disappear or be seamlessly merged with the rest of the voice. Head voice and chest voice are the two parts of a singer’s voice. They are so named because of where the voice resonates inside the singer’s body. Chest voice is the lower part of a singer’s register. It resonates in the chest cavity. As the voice rises, it hits the break. Above that the notes are part of the head voice, so named because the sound resonates in the singer’s nasal cavities. Pitch: Pitch is simply a fancy word for the notes a singer hits. It also happens to be a measure of accuracy and purity. When a singer is said to be "singing on pitch", they are hitting the proper intervals between notes. Pitches are usually divided between half steps and whole steps. There are twelve distinct tones, or steps, in a scale. A whole step usually is the distance between two major notes, such as C and D. Half-steps are split into flats and sharps. A flat is one half step below a major note and a sharp is one half step above it. For example, one half step above D is D sharp and one half step below is D flat. The only exceptions to this rule are that between B and C and E and F there is a only a half-step. Distances between notes are denoted by intervals. There is a fairly simply system for classifying intervals, based on the number of half-steps between the initial pitch and the one the singer is trying to reach. A minor second is one half step, a major second is two half steps or one whole, a minor third is three half steps, a major third is four half steps, a perfect fourth is five half steps, a perfect fifth is seven half steps, a minor sixth is eight half steps, a major sixth is nine half steps, a minor seventh is ten half steps, a major seventh is eleven half steps and an octave is twelve half steps, which brings a singer back to the same note. Typically, an untrained singer will have trouble hitting their intervals perfectly without accompaniment. However, when a singer gains proficiency, as long as they have a starting pitch they can hit the proper notes. While some cultures use smaller deviations in pitches, especially for religious ceremonies, the half tone has been widely accepted as the most prominent musical notation. However, quarter-tones and even smaller deviations of pitch are still used, particularly in more traditional culture. Typically, but not always, minor intervals are described as creating a sadder sound while major chords are usually used to make music that is happier and more energetic. The list below is not the comprehensive list of all known intervals, but simply the most commonly used ones. Number of Semitones Minor, Major or Perfect Intervals 0 Perfect Unison 1 Minor Second 2 Major Second 3 Minor Third 4 Major Third 5 Perfect Fourth 6 7 Perfect Fifth 8 Minor Sixth 9 Major Sixth 10 Minor Seventh 11 Major Seventh 12 Octave Two terms that might come up for a singer, or any musician, are relative pitch or perfect pitch. Relative pitch is simply the ability to match a pitch after it has been played or sung for you. It may also be used in a case where a musician is given one pitch, then asked to sing a specific interval above or below it. Perfect pitch is an innate trait that certain individuals have. It simply means that they have an inherent understanding of even the smallest nuances of pitch and when hearing a sound, know exactly what pitch they are listening to. This doesn’t grant them a singing voice. Timbre: Timbre is the word used to describe the quality of a singer's voice. There are many adjectives that can be applied to the timbre of a person's voice. Some, but not all, include loud, soft, brassy, gentle, romantic, melodious, raucous, strong, eerie, spooky, rhythmic, choppy, noisy, mellow, shrill, reedy, clear, breathy, rounded, full, thin, piercing, strident, harsh, warm, resonant, dark, bright, heavy, light, and flat. A singer can and should strive to master the different techniques that produce these different qualities, also sometimes called colors, of sound. A Capella: A Capella is the word used to describe completely unaccompanied singing. Unless a singer has perfect pitch, they will be given a starting note or chord. After that, everything else is up to the singer. A Capella can be beautiful when done right. The challenge is that a singer, without accompaniment, has to maintain the right pitch and the right rhythm. A common error is to let the pitch slide flat or sharp or the tempo speed up or slow down depending on the song and the singer. Vowels and Consonants: When singing, vowels and consonants require specific shaping in a singer’s mouth, using both the corners of the mouth and the singer’s tongue. The most basic of these is "Ah", and it is created when the mouth is fully open. The next is "Oh" and it is created by bringing in the corners of the mouth just slightly. Creating the smallest opening possible by bringing the corners of the mouth almost all the way together produces "Oo". "Eh" requires the singer to raise the back of the tongue just slightly off the bottom of the mouth. By raising the back of the tongue all the way to the top of the mouth a singer can make the "Ee" sound. While singing, it is typical when sustaining a note to stay on the vowel sound until the end as the more open the mouth is, the purer the sound is. This allows sound to escape the singer’s mouth more easily. To sing a consonant, a singer needs to close the mouth either partially or fully so singers try to put this moment off until necessary. If a word ends in a vowel, singers stop themselves from singing by sucking in a quick and small amount of air. When a word ends with a consonant, all the singer has to do is makes the consonant sound to stop their voice. Here is the list of vowel sounds: Pure Primary Secondary Triphthongs (A) father (AI) night (E ́) air (AI ́) ire (E) wed (EI) day (I ́) ear (AU ́) our (I) it (OI) boy (O) ore (i) me (AU) now (UE) sure (AE) cat (Oh) no (U) too (O) obey (unstressed) (o) warm (OE) learn (uh) up (oh) sofa (unstressed) (a) ask (aw) hot As always, there are exceptions to this rule. L, M, N and NG are all consonants that a singer is capable of sustaining a note on. In addition, there are further breakdowns and definitions. A voiced consonant is a consonant that uses the singer’s vocal cords to make a sound, while an unvoiced consonant is a consonant that doesn’t need the vocal cords to sound. Semi-vowels are consonants that are sung similarly to vowels. Glottal is the term used to describe the sound a singer makes when starting a word with a vowel. A breakdown of these different consonants is below. Finally, diphthong is the official term used when two vowel sounds are sung next to each and one is stressed more than the other, while dissyllable is the term for when two vowel sound are sung and receive equal stress. Voiced Unvoiced Semi-Vowel Liquids (b) b (p) (w) wait (l) l (d) d (t) t (j) you (m) m (g) g (k) c (n) n (k) c (ng) sing (k) k (k) q (z) z (s) s (v) v (f) f (r) r (dg) Judge (tS) Church (Z) Vision (S) Sheet (D) That (T) Think (ks) x Belting: A belter is a singer, almost always a woman, who deliberately inserts roughness into their voice to create a unique sound. This is a very dangerous technique. While most voices naturally have a rasp to them, belters usually have learned to sing without it, but choose to use it in small quantities. Tightening the muscles of your throaty creates this growling sound. This is why singers who use this technique are often said to have throaty voices. The problem inherent in this is that it is extremely easy to go overboard and damage your throat and your voice permanently. Only experienced singers should belt. Inexperienced singers will likely just injure themselves. Breath Support: One of the most important parts of any singer’s training is how to properly support the voice. Breath support provides two major benefits to a singer. Its primary purpose is to allow a singer to sustain notes for a longer period of time. This training also gives singers a better grasp over how quickly or strongly the expel their breath, giving them finer control over their dynamics. Breath support is designed to take pressure off of the throat while singing. Otherwise, it is much easier for singers to cause themselves minor to severe vocal strain. To become an experienced singers, it is imperative to master breath control and support. Therefore, one of the first and most important tasks for any singer is to learn how to utilize their breath. The basic idea behind breath support is to sing by tightening the abdominal muscles around the diaphragm. Singers are told to imagine their voice coming up from their stomach instead of residing in their throat. Pycons are the only exception to this rule. However, Pycons have the related issue of learning how to shape their body accordingly to enable them to sing. Falsetto: Falsetto is a technique only utilized by male singers. It allows men to hit notes much higher than their normal vocal ranges. Typically, the head voice is the top of the range, but male singers can switch into falsetto for notes above this. It is a rather thin and breathy sound, until men receive training. At this point it can become much clearer and more filled out, as well as easier to switch into and out of. Also, a few more notes may become accessible at the top of the falsetto range. Vocal Exercises, Warm-ups & Scales: Like any other discipline, singing requires an extensive warm-up before a singer can access the full potential of their voice. Warming up can also help prevent vocal injuries. Singers that skip out or skimp on their exercises run a much higher risk of developing serious vocal problems, up to and including permanent damage to their singing and sometimes speaking voice. Warm-ups often have two components. The first is a warm-up of the singer’s notes. They will usually begin in the middle of their range and work their way up and down. This is accomplished through repeating patterns of scales or intervals that ascend or descend the same pitch with each cycle. Once the bottom or top of the register is hit, singers typically stop. The next type of exercise is mouth warm-ups. Singers will sing a variety of vowel and consonant sounds, again in repeating patterns. Usually they employ some sort of tongue twister element or the singer will sing related consonants or vowels, such as b and p, to try and train themselves to create a larger distinction between similar sounds. Usually, to save time, singers will combine these two types. These exercises are often used as warm-ups, but they are also the way singers train to access their full potential. It is rare for any two singers to have identical warm-up routines unless the same teacher trained them, and even then, deviations occur based on the peculiarities of a singer’s voice. Illnesses and Injuries: Singers who frequently sing pitches beyond their range, force their voice to create sounds that are outside their normal vocabulary, or simply sing too much or too often, will run into vocal strain especially if they do not have proper training. The most common form is simply irritation of the throat. Resting the voice and drinking soothing teas or other medicines designed to help throat problems can usually solve this. However, if a singer chooses to ignore the warning signs or sings while they are sick, they run the risk of permanently damaging their vocal cords or voice. This might simply apply to their singing voice but in rare cases extends to the speaking voice as well. They may develop a rasp or a permanent pain when they try to speak or sing. In the most extreme scenarios they might lose their voice altogether. So not overusing the voice and taking care of your body are two of a singer’s most important duties. Religion: Music likely had its origins in primitive rituals although it is impossible to know this for sure. Regardless, singing and chanting play an incredibly important role in many religious ceremonies, even to this day. Often priests and priestess will be accomplished vocalists themselves or they will employ members of their faith as cantors to sing the more complicated chants or songs if they themselves cannot. Some of the more well to do churches and chapels may have entire choirs sing. Usually these choirs are made up of volunteers with a few paid vocalists to round them out. In churches with congregations one of the most common forms of communal prayer is song. The god of music, Rhaus often takes notice of budding singers and will occasionally mark them with his gnosis, Audius if he feel their talent and dedication to their craft warrants it. Skill Progression: Novice: Novice singers have just started discovering their voice. Unless the song is incredibly simple such as a lullaby or a commonly known folk song they will run into difficulties. They have trouble staying on the proper pitch. They have access to smallest parts of their vocal register. They will usually require the assistance of sheet music, an accompanist, or some other type of aid to sing. And it takes them numerous passes through the song before they learn all the notes and words to a song by rote. In addition they are not comfortable enough with their voice to sing in harmony. Any attempt to do so will make them lose their pitch completely. They also have no knowledge or understanding of breath support. Competent: A competent singer has mastered the basics of singing. They pick up music more quickly and can occasionally sing without the aid of music or accompaniment, although their attempts are not always beautiful. They have also managed to work out the limits of their vocal range, although any note sung at the top or the bottom is far from pleasant to hear. Singers at this level can also sing basic harmony parts with another singer, usually one of the other major notes of the chord, either a third or a fifth. They have to learn the harmony part extremely well on their own before trying to put it together with the melody. In addition, a competent singer has started to put together a repertoire of songs. A competent singer has also just begun learning how to properly use breath support. They also have gotten much better at staying on the right pitch although they still stray off the proper pitch while sustaining the note, going either flat or sharp. Expert: Expert singers have unlocked their entire vocal range, although the extremes may still be a bit rough. They pick up music with only one or two attempts. They have almost mastered breath support, and can sing more complicated harmonies. Experts have a fairly sizeable amount of solos, duets, and other pieces under their belts. They have begun experimenting with vocal styles outside their training, be it classical or folk. While their voice may still contain imperfections they are well aware of them and have learned exactly how to work around them. They rarely miss their pitch and have gotten pretty good at being able to sing intervals properly. They also have started working on the more advanced singing techniques, such as falsetto or belting. Master: A master singer is rare to find and they are highly sought after by the wealthiest individuals. From the first note out of their mouth audience members can tell that this is going to be a once in a lifetime experience. Master singers can have their pick of venues and can choose to perform exclusively for individuals, or give huge concerts to the masses. In short, a master singer may perform however they like. Master singers are close to having perfect control over every single aspect of their voice. They only rarely make mistakes. Any problems are well on their way to being completely smoothed over. Or they are so minor as to be nonexistent. Sometimes, master singers can discover how to turn vocal flaws into assets to make their voice unique. They have no problem hitting any note within their register, and even the highest and lowest notes can sound sweet or dark, depending on the style of the music. Master singers have no problem with controlling their breath. Harmonies are no problem, and they can often make them up on the spot and weave them together with either another singers voice or an instrumentalist. They have much practice with the more difficult techniques. While they still have to work on them, with preparation they can use them in a performance. Master singers, assuming they put the proper time into memorization, can potentially have hundreds of songs stored simply in their memory. They can pick up new songs practically on the spot and while they might not be pitch and lyric run-through on the first time through, they quickly become so. And they are able to perform in numerous different singing disciplines, although the farther they get from their trained voice the harder this becomes. Master singers are nearly at the pinnacle of their art and are able to evoke complex emotions in anyone who hears them.

[Sayana]

“Singing is the art of using the voice to make music by matching tonal pitches.” The “matching tonal pitches” sounds funny. Either put a period after “music” or say something along the lines of “Singing is the art of using the voice to make music through rhythm and pitch.” “…but even those without any can still improve their singing. Even when…” The word “even” appears twice, almost right after each other. Pick one to use and delete the other. “Also, keep in mind that singing has a time limit on it.” The “also” isn’t needed. “And as one reaches old age the singing voice typically declines.” The “and” isn’t needed. “Also, to further enhance their performance, skilled singers learn a little about Acting, Dance, Flirting, and even Seduction.” Take out filler words like “also” and “a little”. “In a choir these parts may be broken down even further into Soprano One and Soprano Two, Alto One and Alto Two, Tenor One and Tenor Two, and Bass One and Bass Two (or alternatively, Baritone and Bass).” I find that by numbering the parts 1 & 2, it takes me out of the world of Mizahar and into a musical theory classroom. It feels like there is too much detail and no longer feels applicable to a fantasy world that may have different ways of putting voices together. You can keep it or take it out as you choose but that’s the feeling I get when I read it. Vocal ranges: I like how you included a finer classification of vocal ranges (like that included Mezzo-soprano, baritone etc). However, for the actual ranges with regards to pitch, it feels odd that Mizahar has an identical music system as Western Earth. And frankly I don’t think that detail is needed. “Also, keep in mind that these divisions apply mostly to the human and human derived races.” Take out the “also”. “Zith’s have a naturally larger voice range.” Plural for Zith is simply Zith. So change “Zith’s” to just Zith. “In addition, they can hit notes well outside the hearing of other ranges, in the subsonic and ultrasonic ranges.” The wording is a bit finicky. Maybe try something like this: In addition, they can hit subsonic and ultrasonic notes that are well beyond the hearing ranges of most races. “Pycons, with their malleable nature can shape themselves to alter their voices as well as produce sounds that no other race can.” Please confirm this. It was my impression that pycons speak without moving their lips and so the physical shape of the pycon would not necessarily alter the sound of their voice. I might be wrong though. “Head Voice, Chest Voice, and Vocal Breaks:” Try to match the paragraphs to the order listed in the heading. I think it’s a good order, but you start your explanation talking about vocal breaks before identifying the difference between head and chest voices. “When a singer reaches their vocal break, either coming up or heading down, they simply cannot hit that note, no matter how hard they try.” The way you phrase this makes it sound like it’s really hard to sing notes around someone’s vocal break. In reality, singers quickly and unconsciously switch to their head voice or chest voice depending on what is needed. I realize that the sentence after this points out this fact but it still seems weird that there is so much emphasis on the vocal break (when it is hardly noticed by most singers). When describing the intervals it sounds lengthy and wordy. Perhaps a visual guide or even a table might make more sense? There also has not been any mention of major or minor “sounds” (either chords, songs, keys or whatever) until this point. I wonder if there could be some quick explanation like “Minor chords have a dark sad sound whereas major chords sound happier and more energetic.” Consonant table: The “(j) you” appears twice. Is this intentional? There is also a question mark under the “glottal (vowel attack)” entry. Could you make a small chart of the key vowel sounds too? Just so you can see the two sets of sounds. For vowels you’ve already mentioned the ‘pure’ vowels. But you might want to include that some vowels are comprised of two of the pure ones. For example, the “i” sound in “Sky” is comprised of “Ah” + “Ee”. Singers often typically hold the “Ah” for as long as possible and close the sound with the “Ee” when singing a long note that is comprised of the “i” sound. “Pycons are the only exception to this rule. However, Pycons have the related issue of learning how to shape their body accordingly to enable them to sing.” Again, check the lore with the pycons. I may be wrong but it doesn’t hurt to check. “Breath Support” While breath support does help prevent a singer from straining his/her voice, the main purpose of breath support is to be able to sustain long notes or long phrases of music without needing to take a breath. I also had a singing coach mention (and demonstrate) how much a singer’s back can expand while taking in a breath (this is more optional as to whether you want to include this tidbit). “Also, warming up can help prevent vocal injuries, so singers that skip out or skimp on their exercises run a much higher risk of developing serious vocal problems or destroying their singing and occasionally speaking voice completely.” This is a rather long sentence that might work better broken into two sentences. Also, the last bit was worded a little funny. Perhaps something like this: Warming up can help prevent vocal injuries. Singers who skip out or skimp on their exercises run a much higher risk of developing serious vocal problems, destroying their singing voice, and even wrecking their speaking voice. “Typically, warm-ups and common have two components.” Common what? Common exercises? Just a missing word there. Or it could be written as just “warm-ups”. “The first is a warm up of the singer’s notes.” Sometimes you write “warm-up” and sometimes you write “warm up”. Pick one and be consistent. “Also, it is rare for any two singers to have identical warm-up routines…” Let’s get rid of another pesky “Also”. I don’t think it’s necessary. “Obviously, singers who continue to sing without proper training, force their voice to sing pitches or sounds that are outside their normal vocabulary, or simply sing too much or too often, will run into vocal strain.” I’d refrain from using the word “obviously” since it may not be obvious to everyone. I don’t believe singers who sing without proper training are at risk unless they are doing one of the other activities. Maybe rephrase it to something like this: Singers who frequently sing pitches beyond their range, force their voice to create sounds that are outside their normal vocabulary, or simply sing too much or too often, will run into vocal strain especially if they do not have proper training. Also, from somewhat personal experience, my mom frequently wears a scarf indoors and outdoors when she has a lot of concerts to do and she is worried about her throat. You can add this if you like but you don’t have to. “Also, some of the more well to do churches and chapels may have entire choirs sing, although this is incredibly rare as it requires a steady flow of income.” I’m going to point out another pesky “also”. But more importantly, many church choirs today have very few paid members. The bulk of the choir is made up of volunteer members of the church and typically there is a ‘section lead’ for each of the sections (Soprano, Alto, Tenor, Bass, etc). These section leads are often paid are much better at learning the music and holding their section together. I don’t know if this would be a technique employed by Mizahar churches but it means it is not as expensive. Mizahar might not have that many traditional ‘churches’ either. Syliras might have more formal assemblies of people but Taloba might have chanting and battle cries for Myri. I believe Lhavit has an opera house which is a little more traditional but just consider being broad when talking about different incidences of singing. “They will usually require the assistance of sheet music or an accompanist to sing.” What about learning by rote? Would novices even be able to read/understand sheet music? Often kids learn to sing by copying and there may or may not be an accompanist. However, a written page of lyrics might be helpful for a novice singer. “They also have no knowledge or understanding of breath support,” Change the comma to a period. “In addition, a competent singer has just begun putting together a repertoire of songs. A competent singer has just begun learning how to properly use breath support.” The phrase “has just begun” is repeated twice. It just sounds funny reading it. “They also have gotten much better at staying on the right pitch although they still stray.” Could you explain how they ‘stray’? Like I would think that at a competent level they can usually get to the right note, but if they are holding it the note might go a little flat, or if they are really excited they might sing sharp (sometimes I sing sharp because I’m excited). “Expert singers have unlocked their entire vocal range, although the extremes may sing be a bit rough.” The words in the latter half sound jumbled. Maybe: … although extremely high or low notes may sound a bit rough. Ohhh. Replace "sing" with "still". “Also, they have a fairly sizeable amount of solos, duets, and other pieces under their belts.” Let’s take out another ‘also’ by phrasing it like: Expert singers have a fairly sizeable…. “In short, however a master singer wants to perform is usually allowed.” The wording throws me a bit. I mentally want to think “however, blah blah blah”. Maybe if it was phrased like this: In short, a master singer can perform however they like. The description for a master singer seems a little too close to godmodding. Yes they are a master but from 76 exp to 100 exp there still needs to be room for improvement. The way it is depicted suggests that a master can do anything at all when it comes to singing and does it without a single mistake. One thing that a master singer might be able to do is sight singing (reading a brand new sheet of music and singing it at the same time with almost no errors). A few things that are missing that you may or may not want to include: Timbre. Timbre is the quality of the voice (eg. pure, warm, rich, light, airy, dark…). Under the ‘pitch’ section you mentioned that being on pitch indicates a pure sound but there are also voices that have a pure or piercing sound that have nothing to do with being on pitch or not. Timber is usually dependent on the individual’s voice, however, an advance singer can adjust their voice to have different timbres. A Capella. A Capella is singing without any accompaniment and is often more challenging because only the first note is given (and sometimes a choir gradually goes sharp or flat). It is particularly hard when there are large intervals to make or if there are notes that clash. Overall, great work. The article has a very complete feel without being too lengthy.

[Orin Fenix]

Pretty sure I hit all the corrections. Thanks so much for the comprehensive review Sayana! I really appreciate it. The only information that I left unchanged was the Pycon biology. I haven't been able to receive a comprehensive answer as to how, exactly Pycons speak and therefore how they would sing.

[Sedge]

I've been looking at this writeup off and on for a while, trying to pin down exactly what I want to say about it. I think you've done a great job with definitions and clarity in that regard. However, I feel like this article is heavily focused on the what and fairly light on the how of singing. I don't mean the pure mechanics, but the acts of doing and training and exercising. As it stands, this writeup establishes a lot of background knowledge -- it strikes me as predominantly the lore part of singing, not the skill part. It's light on the process, the experience, the details that are the devil in writing posts involving the act of singing. Many players will come to this article having only the very vaguest familiarity with singing. They themselves listen to music, they don't so much produce it; if they do sing, it's probably at Novice-level, and they don't have first-hand experience from which to describe the act of singing at higher competencies. So there needs to be a fair amount of how to use written into the article as well as what this is, and it needs to be applicable to multiple skill levels. You have a bit of how scattered through the sections, but when it comes down to it, I don't really come away from reading this article with a sense of "these are methods my character can use IC". I largely come away with "my character should know about..." all these things. If I compare with some other drafts in the queue, for example -- the Meditation writeup describes techniques, approaches, phases in ways that are readily applied IC; Intimidation includes basic and advanced techniques as well as methods of expanding one's repertoire; the Dance draft describes in fine detail how to employ the body and movement during a dance. All of them go beyond "this is what" to address "this is how". By contrast, here you have two paragraphs on exercises, and everything else seems fundamentally definition. It's necessary definition, to be true... but definition by itself is not sufficient for a skill writeup. That's my main critique. If anything is not transparent, or if you want to discuss it further, my inbox is always open. I have some other minor comments to add: 1. I do believe Konti can also sing underwater. You should touch upon this. 2. No skill has a "time limit" on mastering it; that's not how the skill system works. Please remove that from your introduction. That's about it for now. If you add in some more about process, I'll come back and review that part as well.

[Jessor Yellowmoss]

Hello there, Orin! I enjoyed reading your write-up, and I feel I have a greater understanding of singing after it. I do have a list of grammatical, spelling-related, and clarification notes, however.

To further enhance their performance, skilled singers learn about Acting, Dance, Flirting, and even Seduction.

Acting and Flirting are in the present participle while Dance is written as a noun and thus does not seem to fit. I suggest changing it to Dancing.

The most common, starting from the highest and ending with the lowest, are Soprano and Alto, the female vocal parts, and Tenor and Bass, the male vocal parts.

This sentence leaves me a little confused. The most common what? I suggest adding the word “ranges”, as in “The most common ranges, starting…”

Also, vocal range is completely unrelated to a singer’s tone or musicality.

The “also” sounds strange where it is. I would either change it to “Vocal range is also completely…” or remove the “also” entirely.

Countertenor is a man whose voice would be considered to fit in a female voice part.

I have a nitpicky thing here. It should be “A Countertenor” instead of just “Countertenor” because “Countertenor” is not a proper noun, but a noun. Here it sounds like Countertenor is someone’s name.

Many countertenors are actually castrati, men who were castrated so they would not lose their high voice after puberty.

This sentence simply doesn’t flow well to me. Perhaps adding “which are” after castrati, or replacing the comma with a hyphen would tidy things up? This is more of a personal preference, though, so I wouldn’t be offended if you left as is.

Ziths have a naturally larger voice range

The plural of “Zith” is just “Zith”.

Pycons, with their malleable nature can shape themselves to alter their voices as well as produce sounds that no other race can.

You missed a second comma here, after “nature”.

The songs of the Charoda have adapted to their environment.”

This sentence just seems redundant after spending three sentences prior explaining that, yes, the Charodae songs have adapted, and then afterwards explaining how they have adapted. We know they have adapted- you don’t need to say it.

When a singer is said to be singing on pitch, they are hitting the proper intervals between notes.

“Singing on pitch” should be in quotations.

There are twelve distinct tones in a scale.

This seems extremely out of place while talking about half-steps and whole steps. I am a musician, but not a singer, so it is also possible it does fit there and I am just not knowledgeable enough to realize it. It might sound better if you said “There are twelve distinct tones, or steps, in a scale” so that we understand the connection.

Two terms that might come up for a singer, or any musician are relative pitch or perfect pitch.

This one is another missed comma, after “musician”.

“Some, by not means all include…

A simple typo was made here. I only mean to draw attention to it.

Vowels and Consonants:
When singing, vowels and consonants require specific shaping in a singer’s mouth, using both the corners of the mouth and the singer’s tongue. The most basic of these is Ah, and it is created when the mouth is fully open. The next is Oh and created by bringing in the corners of the mouth just slightly. Creating the smallest opening possible by bringing the corners of the mouth almost all the way together produces Oo. Eh requires the singer to raise the back of the tongue just slightly off the bottom of the mouth. By raising the back of the tongue all the way to the top of the mouth a singer can make the Ee sound.

Each of the sounds in this paragraph should be in quotation marks. Ex: The “Ah” sound. You also missed a word. "The next is Oh, and is created by..."

It allows sound to escape the singer’s mouth more easily.

“It” sounds informal and does not necessarily fit with the tone of the writing. I would recommend changing it to “This”.

Belting

You forgot a semi-colon here, after the header.

Typically, on truly experienced singers have mastered their breath control and support, although typically the first task any teacher sets out to do is to begin their student in learning how to utilize their breath.

First of all, this is a run-on sentence. Secondly, it doesn’t make much sense. I have the feeling you didn’t mean to say “on” here, but I can’t tell what you meant to say. "Typically" is also used twice within the same sentence. Overall, I would recommend scrapping and reworking this entire sentence, unless you know immediately how to fix it.

Typically, warm-ups have two components. The first is a warm-up of the singer’s notes. They will typically begin in the middle of their range and work their way up and down.

"Typically" is used too often in this short space. I would take one out or replace one with "usually".

I also enjoyed the section on Religion. If there is any way to tie in more aspects of the game, as you did in the Religion section with Rhaus, I would be all for it.

Overall, a great write-up. It is obvious that you spent a good deal of time working on writing this, so I'd like to thank you for your hard work. Keep it up!

[Orin Fenix]

Hey, thanks for all the amazing reviews. I'm well aware that I'm a terrible self-editor so these are very helpful to me. I think I hit on all the changes I had to make. I haven't put in the second section on what it actually might feel like to sing. I am working on it, but I'm waiting to have some more spare time before really diving into it. Probably going to put it up in chunks on the lore development page before putting it in here.

[Clyde Sullins]

Alright, I'm going to review this lore from my particular perspective, that of someone who knows little to nothing of singing, and hasn't had so much as a single singing lesson in their life. So bear that in mind. --- -Alright, right off the bat, under the initial bit about voice parts, I'm running into a lot of terms I have no understanding of. Soprano, alto, tenor, bass. Would it be possible to add a definition section or something, or to at least explain what these are or what the differences are in singing, so I could know which I am doing? (or why there are different voice parts or a need for it.) - vowel sounds table- could you explain that a bit more, or give some kind of intro or glossary to it? I really don't understand what thats supposed to mean, or what any of it is supposed to tell me. I've got a similar issue understanding the table after, about voiced and unvoiced and stuff. What are the different rows? what do the bits in parenthesis mean, and the bits outside mean? - under belting: "Tightening the muscles of your throaty creates this growling sound."- what is a throaty? - I like the bit about injuries and such. It includes both common problems, and common ways of treating it. -lungs- Over time I'd imagine as with any exercise, ones lung capacity would be enhanced. Would higher level singers have better lung capacity than lower level ones, and perhaps be able to hold notes and such longer because of this? You mention breath training, but not anything about ones lungs. -singing without words- most of the lore seems focused on singing songs, like written out songs with lyrics and such. But wouldn't it be possible to simply sing sounds? Not sure what that'd be, melodies, whatever, where its just humming or the sound without actually making words, but could that also be possible within singing? -Morphing- something that you didn't mention, but perhaps it should be added, is morphing in combination with singing. A morpher can copy the voice of another after hearing it, by some means of morphing or other. Would this interact with singing? On the one side, just because you copy a persons voice doesn't mean you know how to handle it, or fully understand it. On the other, a skilled user might be able to sing in many different voices, and thus open their range quite a bit past their normal limits. I think morphing therefore might have some implications on singing.