Drowned Sorrows

[Jeremy Casing]

62nd Summer, 515AV. Nighttime.

Jeremy had never been drunk before. Not truly blind drunk.

Until tonight, anyway

He was sitting at a table positioned in the corner of the Fool's Errand tavern, but from Jeremy's newly discovered state, the entire world was a little crooked. He looked through bleary eyes down at the wine bottle that stood on the table. Had he drunk all of that? Unbelievable!

But then he shifted his gaze to the other side of the table, where there sat a wine glass that was the mirror image of his own: drained of every last drop.

Ah, of course, he thought as if the reality was finally dawning on him, Penelope.

But where was the young farmer now? He glanced around himself, spotting her freckled face at the bar speaking to Nathan Porter. She gave the barkeep a sad smile, a forlorn nod, and made her way back to Jeremy armed with another bottle of wine. When she sat down, the sadness that enveloped her was painfully obvious. It made Jeremy reach out and touch her hand. Had he been sober, this simple act would have been surpassed his usual awkward selection of social behaviours. But Jeremy was drunker than he had ever been before, and with the increasing toxicity in his blood, his barriers dropped.

Penelope gave him another sad smile and uncorked the new bottle of wine. After pouring herself and Jeremy a glass, she took a deep gulp that was followed by a shuddering sigh. "I just can't-- I can't-"

"I know."

Once again, Jeremy found himself wrestling intense feelings of guilt and sorrow. Earlier that day, Penelope had bought her horse to Jeremy. The cob was stricken with a strange disease that Jeremy had not recognised, let along knew how to cure. Within mere bells, his health had disintegrated and Coal had died a short while ago. Penelope had broken down into tears, whilst Jeremy had been consumed by a rotting guilt.

What was worse was that the farmer who's barn Jeremy had occupied for the day appeared to know exactly what was wrong with Coal immediately after Jeremy had described his odd symptoms. "Ah. Grass sickness, that is. Terrible disease. Only thing y'can do is make 'em comfortable."

Finally giving the sickness that had killed her pet a name had comforted Penelope. But Jeremy had felt quite different. It should have been him that had known what was wrong with the horse, even if it resulted in knowing there was little or nothing to be done. He was paid by the people of the Mithryn to be trusted with their beloved animals, and yet he had not recognised an apparently well-known fatal disease.

[Jeremy Casing]

To add further heartache, Coal had been the first patient of Jeremy's to die under his care. It had been a mixture of skill and luck that had protected the vet from upset until now, but all that did was make Coal's death more damaging.

He felt utterly useless and stupid. How could he do his job as a Phylonurist if he couldn't even name infamously hopeless illnesses? No wonder the farmers mocked him and did not respect his advice.

"Useless." He muttered poisonously.

"Hm?" Penelope looked up from her wine glass with a questioning, but drunken, look on her face. When Jeremy did not reply, she shrugged and continued, "but thank you for being there, Jeremy. I wouldn't have been able to manage without you."

The Kelvic snorted, "I didn't really do much. You could have had a scarecrow in that barn with you and it would have been just as helpful."

She did not disagree. Her silence was more insulting than Jeremy had expected, so he swallowed down a mouthful of wine to dumb down the hurt that gnawed at his gut. Finally, she said: "No, Jeremy. You were helpful. You helped me, at least."

"But I'm a vet. Caiyha blessed me. And yet I could do nothing for Coal. I didn't even know what to do." He shook his head. Hopeless, it was all utterly hopeless.

"Jeremy, don't be stupid." The farmer's tone was sharp. Jeremy glanced up in surprise. "You can't possibly know everything there is to know. And this is how you learn." She spread out her hands, which shook every so slightly with the overwhelming emotions that racketeered through her mind.

How had it turned to this -- her comforting him? Though her words came from a good place, it only added to Jeremy's sense of hopelessness. Broodingly, he gave a solemn nod and finished off this latest glass of wine. He topped it back up, and did the same to Penelope's half-empty glass as well. They needed to stop talking about the horse, and yet it was the only thing Jeremy could think about. As he looked to Penelope's creased face, he knew she felt the same. "Come on." He said sharply, grabbing the wine bottle and his glass, "we need to go outside."

She followed him out of the tavern, and Jeremy found himself standing in the centre of the Mithryn outpost. To the left, and at the other side of the community was his small home. To the right loomed the barn where Coal had died. Thankfully, his body had been removed (though Jeremy did not know where to, nor did he want to know). Without hesitation, he turned to the left, pulling Penelope by the arm gently as he did.

[Jeremy Casing]

They walked in silence for a while, every so often pausing and glancing over their shoulders, as if the ghost of what had happened earlier was haunting them. Perhaps it was, so Jeremy hurried onwards, Penelope by his side.

She suddenly came to a stop, her head tilted upwards to the black sky above. There were few clouds, and Leth stared back down to the pair with his white, all-seeing eye. "I've always liked the stars." She murmured, swaying slightly with the breeze and alcohol. "My pa' always told me stories about them." A frown creased her brow momentarily as the woman tried to remember these tales. Then she gave an excited squeak and pointed up to somewhere in the general northwest direction. "There! I can see the cluster of-- oh what was it called?" She looked to the Kelvic hopefully, but he merely shrugged. Jeremy knew nothing of astronomy.

The woman gave a frustrated growl. "These lights!" She condemned, sweeping her hands towards the few houses nearby. Indeed, candlelight flooded out of their windows, but Jeremy doubted the light was bright enough to hide the stars. "Let's go out of the Mithryn and sit in the fields."

Is that even allowed? Jeremy foudn himself wondering as he half-ran to keep up with his friend. Their wine glasses had been discarded long ago, and the bottle itself was now only half-full. The red liquid inside sloshed noiselessly as Jeremy followed Penelope out of the safety of the Mithryn. The crops - large and blooming thanks to the good weather - watched them disapprovingly. "We shouldn't be out here." Jeremy called to her quietly. "I'm sure there'll be knights out on patrol..."

Penelope paused as the edges of the fields. After throwing Jeremy a dangerously playful grin, she dived into the field, stooped low so her head would not protrude out from the tops of the crop. Jeremy of course followed her, now concerned for the woman's safety. Desperately, he slurped at the wine, wishing for his senses to be dulled back down into a drunken stupor.

They came to a stop in a patch that Jeremy could only assume neared the centre of the field. Though they were no real distance from the walls of the Mithryn, Jeremy found himself wondering whether they had somehow reached another world. It was so silent, and dark. He could barely see Penelope, who stood before him in the milky glow of Leth. She appeared to be rummaging through her bag, searching for perhaps another bottle of wine she had pilfered from the tavern? Jeremy extended his hand, reaching out the bottle to her "Here, have the rest of--"

The words died on his tongue. Penelope had not been searching through her bag for something, she had been undressing. The hardy and confident farmer's daughter now stood in front of Jeremy utterly naked, her dark hair cascading down to conceal her partial modesty. She watched him with an even gaze, her head tilted slightly and lips prised open by an inch or so. Jeremy, on the other hand, simply stood flabbergasted. He glanced about himself briefly, as if to look out for the signs that this was some horrid prank. "Jeremy..." She reached out, and the Kelvic didn't move. Her fingers toyed with the button of his shirt, popping and undoing them slowly. Her chest - her bare, pale, gorgeous chest - rose and fell with her quickened breath.

She wanted him.

And of course, with this realisation, Jeremy's body responded before he could. Had he been sober, the Kelvic would have spluttered out an apology and turned his back to her, told Penelope to get dressed and escorted the young woman back to her family. It was the respectable thing to do, after all. And if nothing else, Jeremy tried his best to be respectable.

But tonight, he was not sober. As such, Jeremy did not do the respectable thing. He reached out to Penelope with his left hand, touching her smooth skin and exploring those curves she had just revealed to him. His other hand discarded the wine bottle, dumping it onto the soil with a dull thud. Then he began to undress himself. Though his eyesight was limited, Jeremy was sure he could see Penelope as she dipped downwards, lying herself on the ground and beckoning him to join her.

Was he awkward? Was he... a bad lover? These questions haunted Jeremy as he kissed Penelope and moved inside her. She was responding well, at least, but perhaps that was the alcohol rather than any skill on Jeremy's behalf. He had only been with one other woman, and that had happened well over a year ago. Gods, it was a miracle that he had remembered where everything went during sex!

The woman beneath him gave another moan, arching her back in what Jeremy prayed was pleasure. In his drunken mind, he gazed down at her breasts and neck. She was a thing of beauty, and the Kelvic could not quite believe that she had started all of this. It gave him a burst of confidence, and his performance and experience of their physical joining subsequently improved.

Soon they were both panting, gasping and whispering each other's names. Jeremy was in paradise, enveloped by greenery and Penelope's arms and legs. The way she licked and nipped at his ear lobe drove him inside, and all Jeremy wanted to do was to bring her to that peak of pleasure. Was this love? Or lust? He didn't have time to find out: within a short time, Jeremy was gasping and twitching, his physical being suddenly spent. Penelope, too, gave a great cry of pleasure. He withdrew from her, falling beside the girl and giving a great, satisifed sigh.

"Well." Penelope said, rolling herself over to face the Kelvic, "Jeremy Casing, you dog.."

[Jeremy Casing]

It was over twenty days later that Jeremy next saw Penelope. They had departed on good, still-drunk, terms. But their lives were busy and Jeremy did not want to crowd the young woman. He learned, through the farmer-derived grapevine, that she purchased a new horse and had started the long process of healing following Coal's death.

He considered whether he should drop by to visit her. Jeremy liked her company, and certainly liked what happened when they were alone in the fields together. For once in his life, he felt that he had met someone who genuinely liked him for his awkwardness and lanky body. It was unimaginable, and the Kelvic did not want to lose his newfound friend.

But it turned out to be she who visited him. On the morning of the forty-third, Jeremy opened the door to see Penelope standing beyond it. Though she was smiling, something about her eyes betrayed anxiety.

"Jeremy," She said, giving a nod that was a little too formal given their previous meeting, "I thought you should know: I'm pregnant."

"Oh."