Closed Breaking the Ice (Shahar)

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

A delicate bloom

Timestamp: 3rd Day of Fall, 515 AV

Seirei sat up abruptly in her bed roll, a frightened cry tearing her out of a terrifying nightmare. It was a familiar nightmare; one of many she had had over the past weeks. Men surrounding her, accusing her of trying to escape when it was obvious that she wasn't. Terror when she realized what was going to happen, and the feeling of utter helplessness when her best efforts to defend herself proved futile. Little things like the pebble digging into her back as one of the men forced her legs apart. The feeling of being impaled...

Seirei shuddered violently. She squeezed her eyes shut, trembling as she tried to force the remembered images and feelings from her mind. It was a futile attempt, and the memories threatened to overwhelm her. In the dream, Lian had been one of her tormentors. Although it hadn't happened that way in real life, Seirei had plenty of memories of what it felt like when he forced himself on her. And with this recent violation, those memories were painfully close to the surface, mingling with the reality of the attack in her nightmares. The twins stirred restlessly, waking from their sleep. Experience taught her that they would be both wet, and hungry, so Seirei changed each child in turn. Starting with Lukar since he was less patient about such things than his twin, Seirei removed his swaddling clothes so she could get access to his diaper.

The cloth diaper was carefully removed next, and set aside until it could be dealt with. A clean cloth was wrapped around him, and secured carefully. Then his swaddling clothes were put on once more. The process was repeated with Lira, who was just starting to protest the cold, wet feeling of a wet diaper. The soiled diapers were placed into a sack, and buried next to the tent so the smell wouldn't permeate the tent before Seirei had a chance to wash them later.

With that done, Seirei exposed her breasts so she could feed them. Then she picked Lukar and Lira up, offering each one a breast before they could start crying for their breakfast. The need to feed the twins was a welcome distraction, banishing the lingering images from her nightmare. Feeling small mouths sucking vigorously on her breasts helped to ease the remembered pain of rough hands crushing them brutally as their owner raped her.

It looked as though it was going to be another hot day. As early as it was, the heat had not reached oppressive levels yet, though it looked as though it might as the day progressed. Such weather wasn't uncommon since it was only a few days into fall, but it was welcome all the same. All too soon, the lingering warmth would give way to the cold and snow of winter. Now that they had been fed and changed, Lukar and Lira were in a playful mood. They babbled happily at each other as they explored their surroundings with wide, interested eyes.

Seirei decided to take advantage of the nice weather while she could. She didn't have any big plans for the day, and it was too nice of a day to waste cooped up inside the tent. So she gathered up the twins, and they headed out. They didn't need to go far. Seirei found a quiet spot by her tent and settled the twins on the ground so they could play for a while.

The twins loved to touch things. Especially Lukar. They grabbed tufts of grass, and fistfuls of clothing as often as they patted their hands on the ground. Anything to simply feel the many different textures of the world around them. Seirei let them do as they pleased. She would interfere if they showed any sign of trying to eat something that would harm them, but since they were still nursing, there was little chance of that; they had yet to show any interest in solid food. But since feeling things was one of the ways Lukar and Lira used to learn about the world around them, Seirei was reluctant to interfere unless she knew they were about to touch something harmful.

After simply watching her children explore for a while, and taking joy in their very presence, Seirei started making silly faces at them. It was one of their favorite games, guaranteed to draw peals of delighted giggles from them both. Today was no exception. Lukar and Lira shrieked with delight, giggling and babbling animatedly. Lira pointed at her, and declared "Ma!" This brought a soft smile to Seirei's face, and she nodded.

Yes. She was their mother. And she loved her twins dearly, despite their father, and the way they were forced on her against her will. Seirei could no longer imagine life without her precious children. A disturbing thought floated through her mind, and she wondered if there would be more children now. It was a possibility that she would have to consider sooner or later. But it was too soon. Too painful to think about so soon after the violent attack. So she allowed herself to be distracted by the twins' wonder as they explored the world around them.

A soft snort alerted Seirei to the presence of her strider. Even now, the mare's presence in her life was a source of amazement and wonder. Seirei suspected that it always would be. She had a lot to be grateful to the mare for. For with her arrival came Seirei's freedom, and there was no greater gift than that. Seirei knew that she could spend the rest of her life trying to repay the mare for that gift...and that she'd be happy to do so.

Thunder had come with his mother, of course. Seirei kept one eye on the twins as she watched him kick up his hooves in play. He'd race away from his mother, only to half rear, spin around, and come racing back. It was a delight to watch.

After a while, Seirei noticed that even as she was watching Thunder and his mother, the mare was watching her intently. She seemed to be waiting for something. Hoping that she was doing the right thing, Seirei extended her arm out at chest level with her hand palm up and flat so the mare could sniff it if she wanted to. That seemed to be the right move to make because the mare approached her slowly, and did just that.

The mare made a soft sound, and lipped her fingers. Seirei got the feeling that she was hungry, so she bent down to pick a generous handful of grass so she could offer it to her. The mare ate the grass in her hand, then butted it as if she was looking for more. Seirei was more than willing to pluck a few more handfuls of grass before the mare lost interest in it.

"You really need a name." Seirei told the mare softly.

The mare snorted, as if agreeing with her. Seirei gave the matter some thought. After a while, she remembered a conversation she had once had with her mother. Her mother had been especially fond of the name Kairi. It was the name she would have used if she'd ever had another daughter. To Seirei, it seemed as though the Drykas treated their striders like younger siblings. Following that line of thought, if the mare was Seirei's "younger sister" now, then Kairi seemed like a fitting name.

"What do you think of the name Kairi?"

The mare nickered softly. To Seirei, it sounded like there was a hint of acceptance, and maybe even approval in the sound. She smiled. It looked as though the decision had been made.

"Kairi it is, then."

It felt...right somehow, that the name that would have been given to her younger sister if she had had one was being used by her "younger sister." Unbeknownst to Seirei, as she was considering a name for her strider, Lukar had noticed someone nearby. He grinned, and reached his arms out enticingly in a clear request to be picked up.

[Colt]

The day began with a brisk breeze, one that had made a few appearances at the end of summer but was quickly becoming more familiar. It bore upon its back the crisp taste of fall, and of the bounty the season would bring; the world itself seemed to be sensing the shifting of time, and animals were becoming more active as the time of harvest slowly made its way over them. The traps had been fruitful, and Shahar returned home with a groundhog in hand while Snow trotted happily beside him with a mouthful of rabbit.

She was getting larger by the day, and at measurement was easily the size of a very large Luvanor. She had been getting some odd looks from others in the Hunter’s Allegiance, but they weren’t all bad; her remarkable responses to her partner’s needs assuaged much of the uneasiness others felt. Most of it, anyway. Besides, she was still quite clearly a pup.

The sun was just beginning to rise when Snow stopped suddenly. Yelp, camp, she said. Shahar needed no elaboration, and the both of them sprinted the remaining distance to camp to find what it was had made someone cry out.

Their home remained undisturbed.

Shahar looked around, uncertain of what had happened. Snow, too, was perplexed, and she dropped her rabbit to sniff determinedly at the air. Shahar waited patiently, and soon enough Snow was moving about the circle of tents, catching whiffs of something in the wind.

Fear smell, she informed him. Sleep smell. She followed her nose until it guided her to Seirei’s tent, where there were already rustlings of a family waking up. Snow looked back at her partner. Seirei’s fear.

Shahar tilted his head, considering, then nodded. Understand. No danger. Come away.

Snow looked back at the tent. Inquiry? Fear danger, no action?

No action. Cannot action.

Why?

Discuss over here come away.

Snow reluctantly abandoned the tent and returned to Shahar’s side. They continued to the center of camp where he skinned the groundhog for their breakfast and tossed the organs to the cats, while Snow was allowed an entire foreleg. Not nearly enough to sate her for the day, but enough to keep her going until they could begin a real hunt. The groundhog was cooked, the camp was fed, and then the Dawnwhispers separated to begin their individual tasks for the day. Shahar’s first order of business was to attend to Akaidras, who waited expectantly at the outskirts. Retrieving the brush-bags and yvas, Shahar set about to his strider’s morning brushing.

It was only when he finished and called for Snow that he realized she was nowhere to be seen.

Here, came a brief flicker from the other side of the camp. Shahar bid Akaidras to stay––not that the stallion was particularly interested in going anywhere––and followed his partner’s thoughts to where she lay a bit of a distance away from a familiar figure and the horse that figure was bound to. Snow had chosen her spot to be far away enough to remain non-threatening, and was observing Seirei, her children and the two striders that were connected to her.

Seirei no fear, Snow said as Shahar joined her. Why?

Seirei sleep-fear.

Sleep-fear?

You sleep-run, sleeping, wake up, remember running, hunting, home, days action?

Yes.

Sometimes sleep-run fear. Sleep-run into lion’s den. Sleep-fight lions. Sleep-die.

Snow shifted uncomfortably, somewhat unfamiliar with the concept of bad dreams. Seirei sleep-lion’s den? Seirei sleep-die?

Shahar nodded. Yes. Sleep-fear.

Sympathy.

Shahar smiled and slid a hand over the crown of Snow’s head. Seirei sleep-fear, help impossible. But awake-fear, not impossible. Less awake-fear, less asleep-fear.

Snow looked at their guest. Seirei awake-fear?

I don’t know.

Lukar no awake-fear.

Inquiry?

Snow sent a mental indication towards Seirei and her children, and Shahar followed it towards where Lukar was quite clearly watching them. He was smiling happily, and as soon as he noticed Shahar looking back he reached out, flexing his hands in a clear desire for something. That was what he did right before Seirei would pick him up. Did he want Shahar to pick him up?

Shahar quietly stepped forward to close the distance to the baby. Since both children were Seirei’s, the hunter still considered them to be firmly within her territory and did not wish to infringe upon that territory. The idea of picking up one of the children without her permission felt incorrect, but Lukar clearly wanted attention.

And so instead of picking Lukar up, Shahar sat down and reached out to take hold of the boy’s grasping hands.

“Hello,” Shahar said. “You seem to want something.” Amusement, inquiry.

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

A delicate bloom

aaa

Lukar's eyes brightened, and his grin widened at the man's interest.

"Da!" he called eagerly.

He was old enough to realize that the man was not his father. But in his young mind, all of "his" people needed names. "Ma," "Da," and "Li" were the only people he knew other than himself. So this new man must be "Da," too. Lukar grabbed the man's much larger hands as best he could with his own tiny ones. Feeling the man's hands on his felt warm, safe.

"Da! Da, ba, ba, ka, ba, da!" he "said" clearly.

Lira looked over at the man who had caught Lukar's interest curiously. She cocked her head, clearly studying him. Of the twins, she was the more cautious of the two. As such, she had already started to grow wary of strangers. But Lukar had accepted the man, and that was good enough for her. She reached out, and would grasp the man's pant leg if he either permitted it, or failed to notice her attempt.

"Da! Da! Da!" she chortled happily.

Seirei heard the twins' excited babbling, and looked over to see what had caught their attention. Her eyes widened anxiously at the sight of Shahar. But seeing him with her children came as a pleasant surprise. He didn't seem annoyed by the twins' antics. Instead, he tolerated them...even seemed to be enjoying them. At the very least, Seirei thought the signs he used meant that he was amused. Seirei couldn't help but relax at the adorable sight.

"They seem to like you." Seirei said softly, in heavily accented pavi.
She offered a shy smile as she spoke. Her hands moved hesitantly, making the sign for what she hoped was "encouragement." By now, Lira had lost interest in Shahar's clothes. Instead, she was reaching out to the man beseechingly, begging to be picked up, just as Lukar was.

"They want you to pick them up. Seirei continued softly.

She hesitated. Her body language suggested that her hesitance was a reluctance to impose or tell the man what to do rather than fear.

"You can...if you want to?"

[Colt]

“Da!” was Lukar’s illuminating response. The boy babbled happily and grabbed Shahar’s much larger, rougher hands with tiny soft ones, speaking very clearly about something in a language that Shahar did not understand.

“Is that so?” Shahar replied with a chuckle, giving Lukar mock formality as the boy confidently told him meaningless sounds. There was an undeniable charm to the little boy’s nothings, although there was also a clear mental barrier that stopped Shahar from progressing further in play, particularly in regards to touching the child; the boy and girl were Seirei’s, and, in his mind, that meant that too much interaction with them was akin to stepping over the border marking of an animal’s living space––vastly inappropriate if uninvited.

Still, Lukar seemed quite determined to do something with the large man that had sat down before him, and was soon joined by the equally nonsensical babblings of another baby; his sister had caught sight of what was happening and was curious to join, reaching out to grab the leg of his pants. Shahar looked over to her and flashed amused greeting her way, and only then did he realize that their mother had caught sight of him.

Seirei was watching him.

Overstepped bounds flickered over his shoulders uncertainly, tempered with contrite apology; these were her children, and he had not asked before sitting down to play. Although, upon second glance, there was a worry of Seirei’s own that ghosted over her features, although it faded with such speed that Shahar wasn’t certain if it had been there in the first place. It was soon replaced by a rough sign for encouragement, matched by soft, gentle words that confirmed the twins’ feelings towards him.

“They seem to like you,” she told him. And beneath those words were another admission: that she was alright with it.

Relief. Agreement. He was then distracted as Lira lost interest in his clothing and reached out with her arms.

According to Seirei, it meant that she wanted to be picked up. And, according to Seirei, that was something Shahar was allowed to do.

Nodding in formal gratitude, Shahar fitted his hands under the child’s arms and lifted her, although since he was sitting the only destination he could think of was his lap. And so he set her there.

“They are strong children,” he said softly. “They look like you.”

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

A delicate bloom

aaa

When Shahar picked his sister up, he chortled, and raised his hands up beseechingly. He wanted to be picked up, too. While he was perfectly willing to share with his sister, he hated to be left out; what she got, he wanted, too. Besides, he saw the man first. That made the man his.

Seirei smiled shyly at the compliment to her children. They were strong, and that was a very good thing. Being strong meant that they would thrive. The second thing Shahar said was a great relief to her. There were signs of Lian in the twins, of course. That couldn't be helped, since he was their father. Those signs were strongest in Lukar, and Seirei felt that that was because he was a boy. But it was nice to get confirmation that the signs of herself that she had seen in the twins weren't merely wishful thinking on her part. Part of her had feared that they were because she wanted the twins to be hers so much. Hers, and not Lian's.

"Thank you." she said quietly.

Seirei hesitated before speaking again. She didn't want to impose on Shahar if she was misreading things.

"Do you like children? You're good with them."

Lukar chose that moment to begin babbling excitedly at Shahar. He had seen the man waving his hands at him in funny ways. And although his own tiny hands couldn't make the same movements that the man had, he waved them around eagerly, in an attempt to mimic him. This made Lira squeal in delight, and giggle from her place in the man's lap. She watched her brother for a few ticks, then began trying to copy him. This amused Lukar greatly. He redoubled his efforts at making "signs," and shrieked with laughter. This seemed to egg Lira on, because her own attempts grew more frenzied as she waved her arms wildly.


Word Count9900 words

[Colt]

The little boy made more attention-seeking noises upon seeing the attention Shahar was giving to his sister, and he raised his hands in a similar manner––Lukar wanted to be picked up, too.

Well, that was perfectly alright with Shahar.

More used to the weight and shape now, the clanless hunter hd an easier time fitting his hands under the baby’s arms and lifting him into the air. Lukar seemed to like being picked up, and so Shahar held him aloft for a few more moments. Then, experimentally, he swerved the child in the air, back and forth once in imitation of what Khida did when she changed course mid-flight. In the air, Lukar could be a bird, too.

When that was done, Shahar joined Lukar with his sister, returning focus to Seirei; the young woman had spoken a very soft “Thank you,” and was watching him with an emotion he had not seen before.

Snow was lingering just outside of the area, respectfully curious about what was happening; she wanted to come closer, to see what was happening and to join in on the fun the two children were clearly having, but she knew full well that wolves and children did not often mix; whenever she tried to get close to any of the other young creatures of the Dawnwhisper camp, particularly the foals and calves, she was soon left in the dust of terrified fleeing.

“Do you like children?” Seirei asked. “You’re good with them.”

Shahar tilted his head, considering. He didn’t have much experience with children, but he certainly liked these two children. If other children were at all like Lira and Lukar…

“Yes.” I suppose. “I do like children.” Apparently so.

Request. Snow’s head and tail were down, and she had stopped her slow circling. Curious, left out, sadness.

You caution?

Of course, no harm ever very cautious.

Shahar nodded towards the white she-wolf. “May Snow meet your children?” he asked of Seirei. “She will not harm them,” but your decision, your children.

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

A delicate bloom

aaa

Lukar shrieked in delight when Shahar swung him around. Seirei watched with amusement. Shahar certainly seemed to enjoy playing with the twins. And they clearly adored him. They were at the age where they were starting to become apprehensive of strangers, but that clearly did not apply in this case. Lukar had seemingly adopted the man as "his," and where Lukar went, Lira was sure to follow.

When Shahar gestured at his giant white wolf, and asked if she could meet the twins, Seirei hesitated. Not because she thought the creature might attack them. Seirei trusted Shahar enough to know that he would never do anything to hurt her children deliberately. But the wolf was so big...what if she hurt one of the children without meaning to? Still, Shahar said she wouldn't...

The decision was taken from Seirei when Lira looked up, and saw the white wolf. She pointed in her direction, squealed in delight, and broke into excited babbling. The young child was making it obvious in every way she could that she very much wanted to meet this new creature. Lukar looked up to see what had caught his sister's attention. His reaction was much like Lira's.

Seirei smiled, and nodded.

"I think it would be okay." she said in careful pavi.

Her hands gestured her "concern," but also mirrored her verbal "permission."

It was a definite gesture of trust in Shahar that allowed her to give her permission to allow the huge white wolf near her children. But she did trust him in this. He seemed to truly like the twins, and he had taken both her, and them into his protection. He wouldn't let anything hurt them. It helped that she had never seen the creature hurt anyone before. For all that she was the biggest wolf she had ever seen before, she seemed like a giant puppy.