[Flashback] A Broken Brotherhood

by **Kellan Lucia** on August 17th, 2010, 4:15 pm

Timestamp: 10th of Spring, 507 AV

The time for choices was approaching. The day Kellan's twin brother Toran would be finding his place in their home of Wind Reach. While Kellan already knew he was going to be an Endal there was still some debate over where Toran would end up. Even though Toran was practically Kellan's mirror image their skills differed very greatly. Toran did not seem to get any skills from either his Endal father or his Avora mother. He was to put it plainly, unskilled. It was the talk around the town that Toran was going to become a commoner for only one reason, his father's position in Wind Reach. If it was not for his high class Toran would have easily become a drudge. Toran was a great person but he had no redeeming skills what so ever. He was terrible at glass blowing and the eagles just flat out hated him. They made sure he stayed far from the aeries. Kellan felt for his twin but he knew that no matter what he said or did Toran would end up at the bottom of the caste system.

The two brothers were walking through the tunnels of Wind Reach conversing back in forth. Kellan had just finished a long day at the aeries and Toran had barely finsihed his Bendi tasks. Kellan and Toran were a sight to see walking together in the dimly lit tunnels. The boys were almost impossible to distinguish from one another in the dark light. The only visible difference was their height. Although Kellan was the older of the two he was visibly shorter than his twin. Not by much but by about an inch and a half. It was a trait that Toran dangled over his brothers head, literally in fact. Kellan was short, even for an Inarta. The other difference between the two brothers was the fact that their eyes were completely different colors. While Kellan's were a bold shade of gold Toran's were a deep emerald color. The two differences were enough to tell the boy apart bit still at times people would mix the two up.

It was quiet in the tunnels and it was just the twins traveling to the kitchen's in the dark light. Kellan was feeling content but a sense of exhaustion was tugging at him. He had been working hard for so long to make sure that he would be chosen by one of the eagles at the aeries. Toran on the other hand seemed completely at ease. "Nothing bothers you does it Tor?" Kellan asked his brother. Toran shrugged "Why fret over the inevitable. I cannot change what is coming and I cannot change the past. That is why I must be peaceful in the present, it is all I have control over. Toran said with a smile. Kellan looked up at his brother and shook his head. "Tory, you are such a simple man. Some ones gonna get you for it someday. The world isn't a place for the easy going like you." Kellan said with a small smile. Toran ruffled his brother's hair "Like I said Kelly I'm not going to worry. What ever comes is what it meant to be. Kellan shoved Toran and he hit the wall of the tunnel hard. "Don't ruffle my hair ever again. I'm not your little brother!" Kellan barked. Kellan was very insecure about his height. He knew he was short and he really did not like people making that blatantly obvious or worse treating him like a little kid. "And if you call me Kelly again I will push you off a cliff." he warned. Toran steadied himself and started walking again with his brother. They were silent for a while and Kellan was feeling more and more terrible about what he did as the minutes crept past. His eyes flicked over to Toran. "Toran?" Toran looked over at him "Yes Kellan?" Kellan bit his lip. He was so bad at apologizing. One would think after all the stuff he did to his brother he would be better at it by now but he still never found the words to come out like he wanted them to. "I am sorry about pushing you. I just really hate it when you call me Kelly and ruffle my hair. You know how I am brother, I don't do well with stuff like that." Toran gave a small smile and grabbed Kellan in a hug. "I'm sorry too and I forgive you. There is nothing you can do that would make me so upset that I could not forgive you. Kellan awkwardly wrapped his hands around his brother. He was not much of a touchy-feely guy. A firm handshake would have done just as nicely but Toran was a bit of a softy. He loved to hug and show affection. It brought a lot of teasing from the other boys in Wind Reach. More times than Kellan could count guys from Wind Reach would ask Kellan about his brother's very odd personality. Although Kellan was nice to Toran's face he was more concerned with keeping up his reputation. He would just answer "I don't know, he has always been a weird one." and after every time he said that he wished he could take it back.

After a while of walking Toran turned to Kellan. "Where exactly are we going? Kellan shrugged and looked around "I figured we could go to the Courtyard of the Sky and, you know just spend some brother time." Toran looked at Kellan with surprised eyes. "The great Kellan is going to spend some time with his brother? Wow, what has this world come to?" Kellan gave his brother a playful glare and shoved him a little. Toran laughed and steadied himself. "Really Kellan, I appreciate it. I feel like I never see you anymore." Kellan really did feel bad about that. He was always so busy at the aeries that he barely saw his brother. "I'm sorry Toran. I promise I will change that." Kellan's voice was solemn. He was unsure if he could change that. Soon his brother would be a commoner and he would stay an Endal. When could he truly spend time with him after today?

by **Kellan Lucia** on November 18th, 2010, 2:34 am

When the twin brothers got to the Courtyard of the Sky there were a few people scattered about. They shot Kellan sideways glances due to his lowly companion. Although he didn't want to admit it to himself he was embarrassed. Why could Toran just be like everyone else? Why couldn't he get along with the eagles and stop being so clumsy? Why couldn't he just be an Inarta? Kellan felt bad for thinking about his brother that way. They were blood and that was supposed to thicker than anything. More than that they were twins, he should have respected that but he couldn't. Toran was an embarrassment and both of them knew it.

The brothers found a spot to sit and Toran looked over at Kellan. "Kell...?" Toran had a worried look across his normally happy face. He looked like he was holding back a terrible secret. Kellan noticed and looked at his brother with worried eyes. "Whats wrong brother?" Kellan could tell there was something bothering his brother. It was not just because he was his twin. Toran seemed to be radiating this feeling of depression. Toran looked down and sighed. "I think I am going to leave Wind Reach." Kellan was appalled. Toran could not leave Wind Reach! Every Inarta was needed and he was Kellan's twin. He could not live without him! "Toran! You cannot leave! Your place is here in Wind Reach! You are more than just my brother. You are my twin brother and I cannot imagine being here without you!" Kellan felt like Toran had stabbed him in the heart. How could he say that. He couldn't leave. Toran looked at Kellan with his green eyes full of sadness. "Kell, I hate it here. No one treats me with respect, I get picked on everyday, and worse of all I do not even have enough skill to even be a commoner." Toran was starting to cry and Kellan had no clue what to do. What would people think of him if he hugged his crying brother. Kellan reached out and tentatively patted Toran's shoulder. "Toran you have skills. I'm sure they could use you as a worker with the Yasi. I bet you would be great with kids!" There was no reasoning to Toran though. He wanted to leave and there was no stoping him. At least there was no way of stopping him that Kellan could figure out. "There is nothing left here for me and if I cannot leave from the gates then I will leave elsewhere." With that said Toran stood up and walked away. There was a look in his eyes that was almost haunting. He was planning something and Kellan could not let him see it though.

Footsteps echoed through the tunnels as Kellan trailed behind Toran. Toran did not try to run because he knew all too well that Kellan could catch him. "Toran, come on! Lets go to the river and we will just talk. I promise things will look up for you." There were no words from Kellan's twin. Just more silent footsteps as the two walked through the tunnels. Toran started to speed up his walking and Kellan gave him his space. They were twins and in their own way they always had an inkling about where the other was. Kellan continued to tail Toran. If anything happened to him Kellan would never forgive himself.

After a few chimes Kellan found Toran. He was in the aeries which was the first thing that made him worry. Toran never liked the Wind Eagles and they did not particularly like him either. He was scared to death of them and the birds seemed to find him utterly repulsive. Some how he had made it through the aeries to the edge of the mountain. He was standing there just staring off into the distance. His shaggy red hair was blowing with the wind and to anyone other than Kellan he would have appeared to be Kellan. They looked exactly the same from the back. Kellan ran to his twin's side. "Bro, what is going on with you! Come on, it is not safe for you here." Toran looked at Kellan with eyes full of sadness and anger. "I'm looking for your help Kellan, nor do I want it. You cannot help me anymore. It is time for me to move on." He moved closer to the edge of the ledge and moved his foot back and forth over the edge. Kellan was speechless as he watched his brother flirting with Dira. "Good bye Kellan…" Toran stepped forward and closed his eyes. "I'm ready Dira." Before Kellan knew what he was doing his arms were around his twin and clinging to him for dear life. "If you are going then take me with you." Tears rolled down from Kellan's cheeks. He rarely cried but seeing his brother give himself up to Dira was too much for him. "Please Toran, I can't live without you. You are not just my brother, you are my other half. If you kill yourself you're killing me." The sight of the twins was a bit odd. Two boys who looked exactly the same except for the fact one was a bit taller than the other clinging to each other like the end of the word was upon them. Kellan pressed his face against Toran's back. "Please Toran…" Toran's body heaved as he started to cry along with his brother. He never knew that Kellan actually cared. He knew that he acted like he did. It was his duty as a brother to. Toran never thought his brother actually cared if he lived or died though. "Don't cry Kellan, I'm not going to join Dira." Hesitantly Kellan let go of his brother. He did not want to. He felt that if he did his brother would run off the edge of the cliff. He felt his grip loosen and Toran turned to look at him. "I'm sorry." Kellan glared at Toran. He was overjoyed that he was not dead but just the thought that he wanted to kill himself was extremely haunting. "Don't you ever pull that with me again or I will throw you off the cliff myself. For the love of Zulrav Tor! I am your twin brother! How dare you try and kill yourself in front of me!" A sheepish look took over Toran's face. Kellan knew that his brother felt bad. He was glad he did. In Kellan's eyes he deserved it for making him so scared. Kellan shot his brother a dark look and wiped away a tear. "We are going back to the Commonrooms and we are never speaking of this again. You understand me Toran?" Although Kellan was short he really knew how to look intimidating when he needed to be. A blushing Toran silently nodded and the two headed out of the aeries. Although their time at the aeries was by far not the worst thing that Kellan had ever seen the memory would haunt him for the rest of his life. It was to Kellan like watching himself trying to commit suicide.

by **Kellan Lucia** on November 19th, 2010, 3:33 am

Timestamp: 13th of Spring, 507 AV

A few days had passed since Toran’s almost suicide. Although the brothers promised that the event would be forgotten it still hung between them. Neither Kellan or Toran would talk to the other. Kellan truly just did not know what to say to his brother and Toran simply was too embarrassed to talk. The memories were stained in their minds. For Toran, the memory of staring down Dira and for Kellan, the memory watching his twin attempt to end his life.

At the commons Kellan and Toran sat separately. Even before they had stared down the edge of Mt. Skyinarta they sat separately. They were of different castes. It did not matter if they were brothers. Kellan could not help but keep glancing at Toran. He was now sitting with the commoners. Thanks to Kellan’s status as an Endal his brother was saved from the dishonor of being a dek. As a twin he could tell when Toran was upset. Kellan could swear he could feel his brother’s pain. He was unhappy and it would not matter if he was an Endal. He wanted to leave Wind Reach and if he did not leave soon he would be stuck there when the snow came and locked the volcanic city into isolation. Kellan had made a decision. He would tell Toran to leave. He would be happier with people who understood him. Kellan looked down at his food and tried not to cry. “Not here. Not in front of the other Endal.”

After Kellan’s meal was over he looked to where Toran had been sitting. The problem was, he was no longer sitting there. There were some other commoners but no Toran. Kellan walked out of the commons and looked around for his twin. The thing was Kellan had no clue where his twin was. There was no even a feeling. The past few days had been so odd. Lately all Kellan wanted was to be with Toran and have him in his sight. Although Kellan was not much older than his twin he was still an “older brother” and he could not calm down when his brother was upset.

The worried brother walked through the tunnels looking for his brother. Kellan did not know why but he was extremely worried. He felt the need to find Toran growing stronger each second. He felt as though if he didn’t he might never see him again. His pace quickened as he roamed the tunnels. His heart was racing and then suddenly there was a muffled yell. ”Ke-“ Kellan knew immediately that it was Toran. He ran as fast as his feet would take him. Each moment the dred set in deeper. ”Please let Toran be okay. I swear if anything has happened to him I’ll never forgive myself.” All Kellan could think was that he wished that he would have talked with Toran more. The suicide attempt was nothing. He just needed his brother.

As Kellan ran he started to hear the sound of thumping. He turned the corner to see Toran laying limp in a man’s arms. The man held a knife over Toran and was smiling wickedly. "What in the name of Zulrav are you doing?" The man looked over at him and dropped Toran on the floor. The man looked as though he was thinking of confronting Kellan but then he dashed off. Kellan wanted to run after the man and drive an arrow through his black heart but now was not the time. Toran could have been dying. Kellan ran to his twin's side and knelt down to his level. "Tor, oh God! Are you okay?" It was obvious Toran was no okay. He was bleeding profusely and there was a deep knife wound in his abdomen. Toran shook his head and coughed. Blood trickled from the side of his mouth. "Kellan... He wanted..." His dialogue was cut short by another string of coughs. Kellan felt the tears coming again. The only time they fell were for his twin. "What did he want? I'll kill him for hurting you." There was anger rising within Kellan. He was ready to take down an entire army for his twin's honor. There was a light in Toran's eyes as Kellan looked down at him. It had never been there before. "Kellan, do not hold remorse for me. I am finally going to where I belong. I finally get to leave Wind Reach." No, Kellan would not let him die. He had told himself he would let his brother move on, just not in this way. "No, we can get you help. I'll help you! I'll do anything. Please Toran, don't die!" There was a look of peace and happiness on Toran's face. He looked like he was finally home. There had never been a time to say it before now but the words fell out of Kellan's mouth. "I love you Toran. No matter where you are, Wind Reach or the in the Volcano, I will always love you more than anyone." He had never told his brother that he loved him. It was just not something he did. He remembered on multiple occasions Toran saying that he loved him. He always refused to say it back. Now there was nothing to say but how much he loved his twin. This would be the last time he could. "Although you never felt as though you mattered here you mattered to me. You are my twin, my other half and even when you are gone I will carry you with me in body and mind." In Toran's last action he pulled off his necklace, bracelets, and strangely enough, his the ring he wore through his lip. He always held them dear because it was the only beautiful things he owned. He had defended them with his life because he knew that he would never get jewelry other than what his mother had made him. He handed the jewelry to Kellan. "You are the best brother in the world Kellan. I'm glad that you were my twin. I am honored that we shared such a close appearance even if we were so different in skill... I love you too brother."

There was an absence in Kellan's chest. It was a feeling Kellan had never. experienced. It was as though half of himself was gone. It was Toran. He was with Dira now. Kellan pulled his brother close and cried. He wanted to speak but there was nothing to say. He was truly alone now. His omnipresent mirror was gone now. There would no longer be the daily mix ups between the two brothers. There was only Kellan now. Although Kellan knew his life would be easier without his brother he did not want to move on. He just stayed there with his brother as if he was hoping if he stayed there long enough he would die along with Toran. Although Kellan was still alive he did not feel like it anymore. He was living his half a soul now. The other half had been snuffed out. There was no one he loved more than Toran and it took his death for Kellan to notice it. "Please, whoever can hear me. Please take good care of Toran. Please make sure he is happy. I cannot live knowing he is not as happy as he makes others. He was truly not meant to live in Wind Reach but where ever he ends up, let him be at peace." Life would never be the same again. Living with a heart was a burden but only having half of one was excruciating. Kellan believed would never see the sun again or at least he thought he would not. Nothing felt real anymore.

by **Phoenix** on December 7th, 2010, 1:01 am

Character: Kellan Lucia
Lores:
Feeling Shame for Family
Signs of Desperation
Having a Brother Die in Your Arms
Blood is Thicker than Water
Casting off Self Consciousness

Additional Notes: I loved reading this! If I missed anything you think is important, please let me know and I'll review and change the awards as necessary! Good Job Kellan!