Rufio had heard the murmurs and gossip. A tree had sprung where fire usually crackled at the heart of the city, and at the heart of the Drykas was Caiyha held.
The Wildmanes' young Ankal, Tal'ck, had gathered his herd and told them of what had been whispered across the web that late morning. A tree, like no other, bearing leaves of surreal blue flame, and fruit that gave vigor, even visions some were saying.
His story had been greeted with voices of hushed reverence, hands waving rapidly, bewilderment caught between excitement, curiosity, a healthy dose of skepticism. Entwined in these fear trickling in their expressive, solemn faces.
What was it all to mean? Where magics and gods were concerned, the usually free-spirited and far-seeing Wildmanes tread with caution.
Rufio was the single among them that did not feel afraid or excited. A sense of calm, quiet welcoming settled in the pit of her stomach. It felt cool, seeping into the muscles of her limbs, like lowering oneself into a pool of water, the density heavy and soothing at once.
All of the Fall she had been suffering nightmares. Terrifying flashes of lightning, wild striders shrieking, death and darkness. Her self had begun to feel disjointed, fractured. It had been seeping slowly into her waking thoughts.
Yet she was not afraid of any of it. Rufio took after her forefathers more than she knew. Though she did not suffer the 'wandering Wildmane' curse as the men did, her spirit was still born magnetized to explore the unknown.
For her fore-fathers this had been the Sea of Grass. For Rufio, it manifested as a need to know what was beyond the very confines of the corporeal world, that spiritual realm. To feel connected, belonging, in some deep way to everything.
So when she stood amidst the gathered Drykas, she felt misplaced. Even with secret half-brother Louka standing next to her, her Ankal beside him, and their beloved, revered grandmother Raen in front of the three.
The old woman, back hunched with the weight of life, her skin sallow and wrinkled as canyons carved in stone, held aloft her gnarled hands to beseech the goddess with a prayer of servitude, protection, thanks-giving.
Before she took a fruit from between the strange leaves. None could argue that this elder, who was alive to see her great grandchildren, was deserving of the goddess' offering. She was a wise, if overbearing and trouble-stirring, elder in the community.
As her keen, piercing, all-seeing blue eyes fell on her grandchildren—Tal'ck, Louka, Rufio—she decided the gift was for them. Tal'ck, the young Ankal, was given the fruit, and told to use its vigor, or visions, whichever was to come.
"Lead them-" Wildmane "-and lead them strong." Her words a weighty responsibility that the man carried on his shoulders. Tal'ck took the fruit, felt its weight in his palm, his eyes peered at the blue-spotted skin, contemplating and solemn.
He glanced around at the rest of the Drykas, watched as others stepped up to take fruit, to say a prayer, just to touch the tree and by that way grow closer to the goddess. Then he looked in turn at his cousins, Louka and Rufio.
His thoughtful cerulean orbs settled longest on Rufio with a thoughtful air. She returned his gaze, her features a picture of unconditional acceptance of him and that knack she had of reading his feelings. Tal'ck took in a deep breath, his chest rose and fell with hard certainty.
He jerked his hand and held the fruit out to Rufio. Louka sucked in a surprised breath and gripped his half-spear tighter. Great-Mama Raen's weathered face broke into a wolfish grin, eyes almost disappearing beneath her bushy brows. Rufio hesitated, and rejected the offer.
"Tal'ck, you're our Ankal, it is for you." Meant for you."Rufio. I do not pray nearly as often as you, as I should. I am Drykas, I am bonded. I am Ankal. I am Wildmane blood and Wildmane heart, and body and spirit. Whereas you...
...You are not Drykas, not in whole."Rufio felt a jab in her chest and hurt lit in her Benshira eyes, along her Benshira mouth, she tossed her Benshira-cast hair. Anger and resentment leaked into her Drykas features - the freckles, the cheekbones, the square face, the set of her shoulders.
Tal'ck held up a hand to intercept her.
"It doesn't matter. Half your blood is-" Other, foreign, dirt. "-But half is-" Wildmane, belongs. "too. Even though no strider has chosen you yet-" Regret, sympathy. "-maybe this will tell you where you belong." Meant "-for you. "...I already know my path, eh." Ankal, curse, future, family.Rufio stared at her cousin, bewildered. The hurt still seething beneath. The truth was she wasn't wholly Drykas, she knew that it was just truth. It was a raw nerve, exposed and painful to the touch.
Sure, she had loved her Benshira mother beyond anything, anyone else. Since her death, though, Rufio had felt that part of her faded away, and she desired nothing more than to fill that void with Drykas. To
be Drykas. Whole, full, complete.
Her two halves sat disjointed within her, uncomfortable, shifting, causing quakes and cracks to split in her feelings, her sense of self. Yet it was the truth nonetheless. She didn't like to acknowledge it, but she
was a whole made up of halves.
Rufio's heritage belonged to two cultures. Half in, half out, both belonging and not belonging. Rufio felt she belonged nowhere, to no-one. Tal'ck took Rufio's left hand and set the pear in her palm, closing her fingers around it.
"Find belonging in the gods, in yourself, if you can't in Drykas, or your mother's people, ah?"Grand-Mama let a quiet, approving chuckle growl into the air between her three grand-children, before hobbling away. She was tailed by the sturdy Tal'ck, and then the lanky, awkward Louka, who gave Ru's upper arm an encouraging squeeze before he left her.
Rufio looked around at the other Drykas, then left the scene, feeling disconnected from them, her raw nerve throbbing, and yet even more connected than she'd ever felt at the same time, Tal'ck's kindness sinking in.
She took herself to the edge of Endrykas, the Wind-Knotted gates. Here she lent against the weathered wood and gazed into the grasslands where each of her forefathers had wandered one day to disappear.
'Maybe even when you're whole in blood and family, that's not enough?' She mused, and sighed. Underlying it all Rufio just lacked some sense of purpose. Unable to articulate a desire to feel connected to
everything. An impossibility for any mortal; deep down she
envied Caiyha.
Rufio ate, ravenous for answers.
Would The First Witch speak to her?
✼ ✼ ✼
After, later...Rufio returns to the heart of the city and takes a handful of the ashes in a small pouch to carry with her. She plans to grow the pips leftover from her pear in the ashes, nurturing the plant's life in dedication to Caiyha.