Closed Making Yourself Useful (Shahar)

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Timestamp: 21st Day of Fall, 515 AV
9th Bell, morning


There was always something to do around the camp, and for that, Seirei was profoundly grateful. Keeping busy helped her to feel less overwhelmed by the changes in her life. Gaining her freedom was a wonderful change, and one that Seirei cherished every waking moment of every single day. Being free was an incredible feeling, and Seirei didn't think that she would ever take it for granted again.

But with that amazing feeling came a deep anxiety. She was finding that she didn't know how to be free anymore. For that matter, she didn't know who she was anymore. Now that she was bonded to a strider, she was a Drykas. But she didn't know how to be a Drykas. For all that her father was Drykas, she didn't know what it meant to be Drykas. Not really. She could speak the language, and she was trying to learn their ways...her ways, now. But she felt that she attempts weren't nearly enough. She felt useless, and lost. Seirei wanted so much to be able to give back as much as Shahar and Naiya had given her. Were still giving her. But there were so many things that she didn't know how to do. Or didn't know how to do well. Her friends were teaching her, of course, but that was only adding even more work to what they already had to do.

The twins were down for their nap, so Seirei decided to make some more beads while she had the chance. She selected a variety of willow branches, and twigs from a fruit tree, and gathered the tools she would need. Then she left the tent. The heat of summer was lingering into the fall, but the light was good for that she wanted to do. By working outside, she wouldn't risk disturbing the twins. And perhaps most importantly, working with wood would soothe her growing anxiety. For a while, at least. She might not know exactly who she was anymore, but working with wood was what she did. And it always would be.

Using her knife, Seirei began by stripping the bark off of the branches and twigs she had selected. The bark was set aside for later use. The simple, repetitive movements were soothing, and Seirei soon fell into a rhythm. She quite happily gave herself over to it, losing herself in her work.

Before she knew it, all of the bark had been removed. Seirei gave the branches and twigs a quick once over to see if she had missed any spots, but she had not. So she began cutting the first branch into smaller pieces. Like before, the work was simple, and repetitive. Decide what size piece you wanted, position the knife against the branch, and make the cut. Seirei had to make certain that the knife was positioned correctly so that it cut straight rather than at an angle. And she had to use enough force to make an even cut without using too much, since that might shatter the piece of wood. But Seirei had done this so many times that it had become second nature for her.

One by one, the twigs and branches disappeared, and a pile of wooden pieces appeared in their place. When there were no more branches remaining, she set aside her knife, and took up her smallest bow drill. Then she began drilling the pulpy center out of each piece. This was the stage that required the most concentration. Even the slightest mistake could destroy the piece of wood you were drilling. Seirei lost a few pieces as passing stray thoughts or sudden sounds distracted her from her work. But she still ended up with a good number of beads. When she was finished, Seirei spread the pieces out so they could dry in the sun.


Word Count13,300 words.
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[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

The twins were still sleeping, so Seirei decided to use the time to work on another project. Last winter, she had tried her hand at making a few simple weapons. She didn't know how useful they were in actual usability, but she hoped that with practice, her attempts would get better. Since she had noticed that Shahar used a javelin when he went hunting, Seirei thought that she could try to make one for him. At the very least, he might be able to tell her if her efforts were resulting in a weapon that could be used.

So Seirei went through all of the branches she had left. She examined them closely, before choosing one that was both the right size, slightly longer than the javelin she had seen Shahar holding, and as straight as possible. When she had chosen the branch she wanted to use, she began carefully stripping the bark off with her knife. The strips of bark she removed joined the others she had peeled off while preparing the branches and twigs she had used to make her beads.

Seirei heard a soft, restless murmuring inside the tent. Realizing that one of the twins were likely waking up early, Seirei set her work down, and stood quickly. Then she slipped into the tent before which ever twin had woken could start crying, and wake the other. It was Lira. When Seirei approached the sleep hammocks she had set up for the twins, Lira looked up at her with sleepy, blue eyes.

The reason Lira had woken up wasn't immediately obvious as Seirei picked her up. Lira didn't need to be changed, and when Seirei offered her her breast to feed, she didn't seem interested. But when Seirei began rocking her, and singing a quiet lullaby, Lira quickly settled into contentment. Soon after that, she was fast asleep once more. Seirei placed her daughter back into her sleep hammock. Then she took a few ticks to check on Lukar. He seemed fine, so Seirei went back outside.

She picked up knife and branch, and took up where she had left off. When she thought she had gotten all of the bark off, she examined her work. There was a place where she had missed some. It had probably happened when she had gone to see what Lira needed. She hadn't been careful enough to start in the exact spot she had left off on. So she corrected her mistake, and finished stripping off the last of the bark. Then she set her knife aside, and began smoothing out the branch with her smoothing cloth.


Word Count13,737 words.
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[Colt]

There was a particular ebb and flow to the activity of the day, one that Shahar had long since come to stop noticing as it became the norm. Sometimes it would shift with a change in the camp, and he would start noticing it then, but if things remained changed then he would eventually adopt the new rhythm as normal and continue as if nothing had happened.

The unexpected addition of Seirei had been one of those odd changes. Her presence had never been unwelcome in the camp, but there had been no warning or preparation before there was suddenly a woman and her two children taking shelter within their small, tight-knit family. At first her existence had been an abnormal stone in the stream of their activity, another body at meals, another tent in the circle, another rustling at the edge of his vision.

But the reality of her company wasn’t unpleasant so much as he simply wasn’t used to it, at first; there was something inside her that reminded him of Hope, and if he stretched his memory, of Slither, too. She had had the same look in her eye upon their first meeting––that dead openness, when one knows that being open will bring pain but also knowing that being closed will bring even more.

But now there was something different, something he had never seen in others in Seirei’s situations. Bravery. Hope. The willingness to fight for what she wanted. Seirei was not going to continue living as she had, and if that life tried to take her back, she would fight it. Because, through everything she had endured, Seirei was still undeniably a fighter, even if it wasn’t in the traditional sense. And a part of Shahar admired her for that.

By now, Seirei’s presence was the norm. How many people did the Dawnwhispers care for? Six. How many Drykas? Four. How many tents? Two. That was just the way it was; if those numbers changed, and if Seirei was suddenly not there, it would be wrong.

As such, seeing Seirei upon his return to camp inspired a different feeling now that she was a normal resident. Nowadays, it was more like spotting Naiya or one of the cats; Seirei was accounted for, he could add her to the list of people he knew to be present and outside of danger, and if she was of agreeable posture then he could add the twins to the list, too.

She was outside, seated next to a collection of branches with her carving knife on full display. Working? He couldn’t imagine what he was trying to make with long branches; weren’t branches for baskets? No, it didn’t matter enough to think deeply on; Seirei was a skilled carver, and if she had branches, she obviously knew what she was doing with them.

Shahar had a grouse in hand from his circuit of the previous night’s trapping, a grouse that was heavy and fat off the summer and fall; it would make a fine meal, or else would give them enough meat to lay out and smoke into preservation. The feathers were mostly brown and speckled, so he assumed Naiya wouldn’t much want them, but the tail feathers were nice and the underdown could be used to stuff everyone’s shoes––something that would need to be done before winter to adapt to the oncoming cold.

Snow and Tuka followed him closely, one at either heel, although both were relatively unimpressed with how the morning was going. They’d both chased after the odd rabbit crossing their path, but neither had caught anything; the day was off to a slow start, and the were both probably going to be somewhat bored until the real work began.

Until then, though, they could entertain themselves while he took care of the grouse.

Since Seirei was already outside and working on her own tasks, Shahar flashed greeting, friendly come join you, and sat himself before her. There was a small circle around her of bits of wood and bark, which conveniently mapped out the exact area she needed. He made sure to seat himself just outside that area, close enough to have a conversation but far enough to avoid interfering with whatever she was doing.

Tuka wandered off almost immediately, having long since realized that sitting down meant that they weren’t going anywhere soon. Snow, on the other hand, kept somewhat close, sniffing curiously at the grouse, at Shahar’s clothing, at the ground, at really anything that kept her in visual distance. She might have been a wanderer, but she wasn’t comfortable enough to leave Shahar behind just yet.

With his companions occupying themselves, Shahar set the grouse in his lap and drew his knife. Shared work, how are you? he asked. Friendly, what are you doing? The branch she was holding now seemed especially large and long, although not large enough for anything truly big. A wagon spoke, perhaps?