by Nya Winters on December 19th, 2009, 12:53 pm
It had never simply occurred to Nya that there were bad things she was suppose to witness and not fight. Fighting had always been the way she'd worked things, because it had been in her nature. But she understood suddenly, in the way that her world was filled with new discoveries daily because of her age, that it was time finally to stop reacting so much like a beast would and perhaps begin to use her humanity a little to think. That frightened her, slightly, because thinking required her to move outside her comfort zone. Acting required no weighing of consequences, no moving outside the here and now. When you thought, you had to run through the possibilities, remembering the past as well as anticipating the future. Such thoughts made her feel small, weak, insignificant. Nya didn't like scenarios where she wasn't the biggest, strongest, or smartest. She didn't like being... nothing... though deep inside she knew that ultimately the world would move on after her death as it had before her death. The best she could hope for was to be able to choose a time and a place for it. Such choices required thinking. And thinking, she was starting to think, meant survival. The voice was right. Nya knew, deep down, that the man was stronger, more powerful, and crueler than she. It was a hard realization - knowing that you've been stupid. But feeling, reacting, unplugging her mind and letting her body do the work... was dangerous. Very dangerous.
And she understood suddenly why the voice wanted her to choose. It was as if there was a hearth deep inside of her that had never known fire and suddenly someone lit tinder in it and the hearth suddenly understood the reason for its existence. It wanted her to think to be able to come to a logical choice on her own. Nya blinked , opened up her awareness to the winds, and let all the thoughts that filled her head fill the wind. It was easier that way, to show Zulrav, in her own way, how his words - for she assumed they were his words - changed her perception, altered her reality, and in a way stole the rest of her childhood away. The reality of the situation... the horror of the wires, the suspended life, the magic things ran off the power of human life... caused her to stagger. She wanted to vomit and indeed the taste of bile filled her mouth. The words of the voice made sense - terrible sense - even as it hit her how stupid it was to think she could fight someone with old knowledge... knowledge of the times before.
This was the dark side of the lore her mother sought out - sought to restore - though why her mother would want to know such things was not a question Nya could answer. She didn't do it for the betterment of mankind. It was really just to satiate Zilvia's own curiosity.
But when the voice said she wanted to say no, Nya shook her head. "No. I would have learned from him. I always... want to know things. Though I see now how stupid that would have been. With him. I would have wanted learned so I could know what he knew ... but he probably would not have taught me anything useful. It would have been like Aruin. Use and use up." Nya said softly, thinking it through. "Teaching is never free. There is always a price in learning something... especially from someone like him. And even from someone who is supposed to love you." She said, then started to say more when events begin to move really fast.
The man facing her was a terror to her. It was a truth she couldn't deny. She was afraid in a way that she couldn't explain. Afraid of the unknown, the wires, all the strange evil in the man's eyes. She lost her cat shape then, turning back into a woman as the man stretched out his hand - fingers flickering.
When the wind came, she welcomed it, rejoiced that it would surround her and dance with her in a way that seemed utterly like a close kinship she hadn't realized she'd had. Nya tipped her head back, letting the wind whip her hair, closing her eyes to the sight of what she knew Zulrav was doing to the wizard. Was it Zulrav? Or Aruin? No.. Zulrav through Aruin. Tools... each and every one of his marked. Nya understood it and embraced it even as she dropped her chin, opened her eyes, and met Aruin's eyes through the open window. The wind picked her up and liberated her from the awful stone walls, through the window, and skyward.
She should have been terrified, but she was a sister to the winds that cradled her. The bubble was of Him and because of Him. Aruins presence was also calming, reassuring, though she cried out when it vanished and only silenced her cry when it rejoined her, scents mingling and understanding dawning with Zulrav's words. Aruin was part of her now, in a small way, just as she was part of something bigger, in another small way.
Aruins joy at freedom and forgiveness infused her. And learning that a part of him was now a part of her flooded Nya with her own joy which mingled with his. She would remember this day, this lesson, and the promise that more hard things were to come and that this was just the beginning of a long road, one that would never be easy. Great and terrible things... the man again... and the Cube... she was in its life.
But her joy was not for the cube, the wizard, nor great and terrible things. It was for Zulrav at that particular moment, and when he invited her to call upon the winds, she did so, opening her awareness to them and pouring her will out in a way that left no question of what she wanted. The west winds voice filled her with encouragement, and she twisted and twirled in the air, buoyed up by her joy, her passion at life, and the knowledge that she could do this now. There was no hesitation, no question, she went right to the cloud carried by the very winds themselves, lightening crackling around her, and danced within it, howling in her own way with the stormwinds she was within.
It was in that moment she realized what it truly was to be a Stormwarden. The stormscloud's mood was open to her, as readable as a book was to a normal human. It had a personality, a voice, a purpose... and she thrilled in the knowledge of it. Her mind opened then, bloomed, and she was ... in a way... the cloud, the lightening, and even in a small way the west wind itself.
There was nothing better... nothing.