[Issues found by Languish] Tyrus Willun

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Tyrus Willun

Postby Tyrus Willun on March 15th, 2017, 7:22 am

Tyrus Willun


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Race: Human
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Birthday: Day 2, Spring, Year 492
Birthplace: Syliras

Appearance: Tyrus, if one was to meet him, would come across as unassuming to say the least. He is an average height, and rather thin. Standing at 5 feet 8 inches, he is a little short but not spectacularly so. He is around 179 stones, though he hasn't gotten weighed in a while, and due to his rather nomadic lifestyle doesn't eat as well as he should. Tyrus, if one was to look upon his face, would seem boyish. He has a square jaw, but soft features, and thoughtful eyes.

Tyrus however would prefer to be in armor compared to anything else. He makes his living hunting monsters and breaking up disputes, and it has lead to many fights and enemies in his past. He would prefer to keep himself safe in light of his many occupational hazards. Along with this, he has been spending much of his time lately in Taldera, and has acquired a large fur cloak as well to keep him warm.

Character Concept
Tyrus, despite his boyish, sensitive outward appearance in actuality has very little regard for the opinions of others. Known for eschewing tradition and kindness in favor of results and victory, he is not as popular as he could be. That said, he cares deeply about people, and dreams of bringing peace and stability to the world. He also has a soft spot for children, despite a gruff way of speaking to them.

Character History

Tyrus was born in Sylira to a blacksmith father and a farmer mother. He grew up in a small village of about 12, a little ways outside of Syliras. For much of his life he felt bored, living safely within the protection of the Sylirian Knights but still far enough away from the city for there to be little change in routine. To him, it was bland and quickly became stale. As he grew, Tyrus worked on his family's farm and played with the other children. Most of them were content with their lives, but Tyrus dreamed of becoming a knight. He would spend hours concocting tales in his head about all of the brave and virtuous things he would do, and how he would finally leave his town and be given a quest by the Windoak one day. In his mind, he would be the person who brought civilization out of Sylira and back to the world, a hero who's name would not be forgotten for generations.

His day came eventually when a group of Sylirian Knights passed through his town, and after much arguing and filibustering, he was able to convince his parents to allow him to leave with the to become a squire. He quickly found himself swept up in the possibility of his dream becoming a reality, and Tyrus began to work hard day in and day out to impress the warriors and soldiers who he was now surrounded by.

As he got older, his superiors noted that Tyrus was more than able, and showed great promise, but that he lacked discipline. He manage to become a Page, but never more. At this time as well Tyrus had been becoming frustrated. He felt as though the Knights were to focused on tradition, and not as focused on trying to spread and better the world. To him, despite all the good they had done in the region, they seemed stagnant. The Knights seemed to feel similarly about Tyrus, only if one was to ask them they probably would have said that he was brash, rude, and acted far to quickly. It was a mutual love hate relationship, and when Tyrus was 17 he left, taking what equipment he could. He decided that he would become a knight with or with out the orders blessing. Their word meant little in the grand scheme of things anyways, and he was determined to set out int the world and help people as best he could. He would kill monsters, protect the helpless, give to the poor, and do all he could to spread civilization through the world. Now, at age 19, Tyrus explores the wilds of Taldera, seeking any adventure he can.

Language

Fluent Language: Common
Basic Language: Vani
Poor Language: Pavi

Skills

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Skill 1 # SP # Horsmanship (14)
Skill 2 # SP # Wilderness Survival (10)
Skill 3 # RB, # SP # Weapon: Shortsword (26)


Lores

Lore of Religion: Sylir
Lore of Philanthropy

Possessions

1 Set of Clothing
-2 Cotton Shirt
-2 Rough Cloth Pants
-3 Simple Undergarments
-Large Fur Cloak
-Leather Boots
-Old Chainmail
-1 Shoulder Pauldron
-2 Vambraces
1 Waterskin
1 Shortsword (Named Bloodtaker)
1 Spear
1 Horse (Named Scruff)
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Wood)
-Brush (Wood)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week's worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
100 Gold Mizas

Heirloom: Fill me in, please! (HELPFUL HINT, Please Remove - Max. 50gm worth)

Housing

Location: Taldera, the Wilds

House: Small Tent

Ledger

Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 GM 100 GM


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Tyrus Willun
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Joined roleplay: March 11th, 2017, 12:28 am
Race: Human
Character sheet

Tyrus Willun

Postby Languish on April 17th, 2017, 12:44 am

Image
Uh oh! Something's not right.

Hello! I'm Languish, AS of Sahova, and I've come to help you sort out your character sheet. Below are a list of things that must be changed in order to receive approval.

- If Tyrun was born Spring of 492, he would currently be age 25.

- There are almost no "small villages" in Mizahar, as the world is too dangerous to survive in small groups, even surrounding Syliras. The closest thing to what you're describing would likely be Mithryn Outpost

- Where did your character learn Pavi and Vani? Please mention this either in your history or next to the languages.

- Your skill list is a little confusing to read. Generally, the chart is structured as follows.
Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Horsemanship 14 SP 14 Novice

And so on.

- As a Human, you get 15 extra Racial Points to add to your starting experience. Please divvy those out as you see fit.

- Lore of Philanthropy is too broad. A lore about the feeling Tyrun gets from Philanthropy would work, or the idea of Philanthropy as a lifestyle or goal.

- The Taldera region is currently closed. Please select another domain to play in.

- Please choose an heirloom whose value is at or under 50 GM and write it in the "Heirloom" Section.

- Please subtract the extra clothes/armor and weapons from your ledger.

Once these things are fixed, please PM me and I will check your CS over one last time before approving it. Thank you.
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Languish
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