Closed The Aftermath [Azmere & Jasmine]

[Taurina]

Sometime in the Late Daytime of the 31st of Spring 517

What was going on? Why was it still storming? Would the sky just stop crying already? Why did Lodai come to escort her back? Why had Turrin gone out there for such a stupid reason?! Petching snarlwings.. that was gonna leave nightmares. For any normal being it would have left scars too. At least she still had the strange blade that was more or less useless, well not quite. If swiped up it worked well enough. Otherwise, the whole thing was foreign to her. Turrin had told her to keep it anyway. Why was Lodai taking her home? How had he even known where to find her?

Taurina groaned. Her head hurt and the rain was driving her mind. Her thoughts were endless and ever revolving. She really did not fully understand the adventure she had just gone on with the man who was so very strange. It had been so foolish. Going so far out of the way for firewood of all things! Silly, stupid, goldeneyed man. She did not hate him, though, for despite everything he had caused her to think outside of herself. He had caused her to take a leap of faith and though it had turned to be for such a foolish reason, she was glad she had done it. At least, she thought she was glad she had done it. With Lodai here now, she did not know what awaited her when she got home.

The Ethaefal sat astride Starfire’s moving body. They were walking which caused the pace to be slow, but Taurina had no energy to go faster. No matter how fast Starfire or even Lodai wished to go, she held onto the yvas handle and made them walk. When Starfire tried to jump faster, her whole body clenched up and that slowed him back. He was sensitive to her fears. Though not always, Lodai had to move Atavan so that both horses staid at the same pace a handful of times. Starfire was at least respectful. He listened to the other man and his horse’s direction. Taurina thanked the watchman.

Lodai was being weirder than usual this day. His loud mouth was not running, his usual childlike behavior was unseen. He was acting more like a watchman than she had seen him before. At least, she believed this was the way a watchman acted. He had not told the Ethaefal what she was to expect upon reaching their pavilion. She feared the worst. His attitude change did not encourage the idea that she was to be greeted with happiness and cheer. Though, had she really done anything wrong?

The Ethaefal thought about it, retraced her steps, to see if she could find where exactly her misstep had been. She had just been enjoying listening to the rumor mill run and very carefully avoiding Yantra Ambersheaf… she had heard what that woman kept herself busy with. Taurina was not interested. After that, she had gotten an apple from the yvas bags and then.. then the strange, burgundy haired man had walked onto the scene. Taurina cringed a little internally. That seemed like as good a place as any to place the blame.

It had not been all bad. She could not say that it had been all bad. In fact, very little of it had actually been bad. Sure, the snarlwing attack had not been pleasant in the least and the rain of this day had begun a downwards spiral within her.. oh and, the firewood.. the whole reason for the trip! Those things had not been so good. But getting to know Turrin, learning his story of all the places he had been and the people he’d met; bonding with and getting to know Starfire better had all been good. Fun even.

“How much trouble am I in?” Taurina turned her gaze as she asked her escort with a quiet voice.

Lodai looked at her, almost discomfort in his eyes. A silent warning. Taurina’s insides crawled at that. It could not be that bad, could it? Taurina sighed and slumped in her yvas in defeat. She had been foolish and now, she assumed, she was going to pay for it. She knew she could handle it, whatever havoc Azmere wrought on her. He would not try to hurt her. Would he? He had promised to always be there for her, catch her when she fell, provide a home to her. He would not take that away. Not over this. Right? Was this so bad that it was going to cause all that?

The Ethaefal felt her insides tighten. That was the fear. The thorny tendrils of it had come up and were twisting around her insides. She suddenly wanted to get home, see all this fear chased away. Surely she was overthinking things. Surely Azmere would be relieved that she was alright. Surely he would embrace her, tell her of how worried he’d been and tell her never to do it again. Right? Right? Taurina looked at Lodai, concern written so clearly across her face. Was she about to loose her home? Her family?

The questions would soon be answered, for home had come into view. Taurina could not stand the worry and doubt anymore. She kicked up Starfire to as fast a trot as she dare and sent him forward towards their home. She was a sloppy rider, going up and coming down hard against his body as his gait continuously threw her up and she practically fell back down. The ride was jerky, unknowing, but she did not care. She needed to get home. She needed to know. Had she just destroyed everything? Was it time to pack her bags and find a new place to live?

Starfire slowed just outside of camp. His pace turned to a walk and then just outside of the pavilion, he stopped. Lodai was just behind. Quickly, but fearfully, Taurina dismounted and allowed the watchman to take the stallion along with his own. Taurina patted his neck and brushed a kiss across his cheek before he went with the fellow Stormblood. Then, the Ethaefal took a breath and raised the doorway of the pavilion. Heart braced for impact, she stepped within and let the canvas shut behind her. Her gaze raised to find the one who determined her fate.

One question out of the many lingered written over her face. 'How much damage have I done?'

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Azmere]

Three days.

Three days was the average amount of time the city of Endrykas stayed in one place. Three days was the general time frame that a lost body was given before being declared dead…lost. The ankal paced back and forth alongside the fire that burned low in his pavilion. His face was stretched by fatigue and worry and his hands were in a constant state of rubbing one another or clenching and unclenching fists.

Taurina had not come home last night. She had been gone all day.

A day and a half.

Asher had been a solid comfort. He was wise enough to know when not to talk so he made sure to remain silent but stayed near the scarred watchman for most of the day. The old herder always had unrelated questions to ask about this goat or that cat and what to do when this happens which kept Azmere distracted. The man with stars in his eyes was grateful but knew what his friend and confidant was doing –still, it’s not like anyone could ever be mad at Asher for very long. If one did happen to find cause for grievance, it was always smoothed over by some kind of culinary treat cooked over a campfire and served with a story.

Lodai had not been so tactful. The big man was great at a handful of things but also a nightmare at others –knowing when to shut up was chief among that list. He spent most of the day trying to placate his friend. “Az, she’ll be fine.” That received a scowl. “Maybe she found a guy to go pick some wildflowers with… “ The bear man’s shrug and grin cost him a sucker punch to the gut. “She probably got tired of all those stories you tell to try and teach us about life.” Azmere just shook his head at that. Would she really have left? She swore! Taurina swore in his arms that she never wanted to leave. No, Azmere reasoned with the voices in his mind. She would not have left willingly. Having that issue settled seemed to make him feel better and the Watchman was able to distract himself with a few disputes over paltry things.

The ankal made it to a little past midday before he started to grow nervous again. He had sent Lodai to check with the Lilacwinds and they had not seen the Eth since she left work a few days ago. Azmere was straining to keep his head on straight. His chest felt tight and his stomach was twisted into knots. In his mind, horrible images of the things he had encountered in the Sea of Grass played before his eyes but the ending was always the same. Taurina was not a warrior nor was she a very experienced rider. Grassbears, wolves, pirates, bandits, glassbeaks and even the deadly vortexes of grass all took turns destroying the young woman and the pooled reflection of red always sent back the same ripple of failure that called out to the watchman’s mind.

Syna was setting and Azmere abruptly sat next to the fire. For the umpteenth time in the last two days, the ankal dove into the web. Each trip took more out of him and his easement into that realm was taking longer. The key of entering the web was relaxation and the scarred Drykas was running on fumes at this point. After a few chimes of focusing on his breathing, his awareness floated up from his body. Asher was cooking, Lodai was jawing about something and Jasmine was near. She had been a rock through the endeavor thus far and Azmere was extremely grateful for her support. Lodai, on the other hand, was being a pain. The webber walked over and began to throw haymakers and elbows at the physical body of his friend and biggest pain in the arse. The big bear couldn’t feel a thing but his words rang out since Azmere was so close to his own body.

“I bet Az is punching me in the web right now…Ha! Bruh’s way too stressed about this.” The big, tan hands signed geht voune as he laughed some more. Asher just snorted and focused on his flatbread that was cooking on the flat iron.

The ankal was briefly caught and amazed at how well Lodai knew him. With a pause for appreciation of such a moment, Azmere was able to refocus his mind on the task at hand. He began doing sprint checks out a certain distance and then back to the center of his pavilion. He used the walls as marks for his angles and repeated this cycle over and over again. He bounced all around the city, first, and made use of the many well-kept smaller webs that his kin provided. When that search turned up nothing, he began to extend his reach wider and wider but did so in a methodical fashion by chunking out plots of land with landmarks and searched whole squares in a chime. He could feel the call of the web to him. Azmere was exhausted and afraid. He was scared for Taurina but also scared of the way he felt about her. He had to ask himself ‘if it would’ve been anyone else, would his reaction have been the same?’.

The answer was a big fat ‘yes’ but at the same time a resounding ‘no’. The other members were dear to him but this unknown tension that lingered in his mind echoed the same uneasiness he felt deep in his chest. As the faces of his pavilion passed before him and he placed them in Taurina’s position, only Jasmine elicited the same reaction but his brain instantly labeled such a thing silly. The blonde woman with the big smile had been the first person to believe in him after the pirate raids. She had never strayed and never given Azmere any reason to doubt her stance on their family.

The antagonist in him promptly chimed in that the Eth had made the same claims.

If one could scream in the web, the man did. He tossed his head back and squeezed the amber and azure gaze shut while a roar of frustration, anger, pain and confusion ripped his soul apart. Azmere thought he saw his image flicker and held still for several moments to observe his form. Nothing. Feeling a renewed sense of purpose, the watchman resumed his outward search and then reached the point where he would have to quit. Azmere wasn't sure how long it had been; time was funny like that in the web. The man turned slowly to face the city of Endrykas. The hundreds of smaller, personal webs built a radiance that was easy to see. The web was beautiful and deadly but so was the physical world.

The Sea of Grass was glorious in its vast, diverse and lush landscapes. For longer than any mortal would ever witness, the land of his people rebirthed itself through tragedy, catastrophe and desecration. Sadly, the Drykas could no more resist their mortality than any other race. Azmere felt his energy wane. He had been a fool to have never considered the possibility of losing one of his own. He wasn’t special nor was he even qualified to be a leader but that didn’t stop the man from trying. Dark thoughts invaded his mind as visions of his mother and grandfather floated past him. Asmodeus was so real that the archer turned away from the city to follow the shade.

Textbox courtesy of Firenze

[Azmere]

“Diakh!” The weathered hands reached out to touch but the wisp was gone. Broken. Azmere now swallowed out of reflex rather than necessity. With nothing around but painful memories, the man sat in the tall grass and slouched forward until the stalks and reeds caused the home of the horseclans to disappear. “Failure." He repeated a word that had haunted him a season back. "So all this time, I thought it was a strange dream- a quirk of nature or a trick of the gods…” He put his hands over his face. “Turns out that it was a warning and one I never considered…” Slowly, the ankal climbed to his feet and started walking –not using the web- back to Endrykas.

“I’m sorry for leading you astray, Taurina. I hope-“ He choked on his words for a few ticks. “In the next life that you can forgive me.” Azmere was done. "You'll make a beautiful strider." He had nothing left and decided that he couldn’t be responsible for people anymore; so many had died already that it was selfish of him to lead at all. Yahal had impressed the need for purity and faithfulness but he was not present to show the way to his pupil. Not today, at least. The watchman thought of Cyrus and came to the conclusion that his best interest; no- his people’s best interest was to let someone with real skill and knowledge escort the remaining Stormbloods into their own places of fulfillment among the Drykas.

A nod sealed his decision. Azmere started walking faster towards Endrykas and he was so intent upon his objective that he nearly missed the movement tracking down his left field of vision. The ankal reacted instantly. He dipped into the web and blinked up next to the travelers. Azmere’s essence nearly melted. It was Taurina! She was alive! Joy exploded through the man and his energy rose well above anything it had been in the past day and a half. All the thoughts of giving up fled and Azmere’s hope for the future returned. This was short-lived, though, as the walahk who rode next to the Eth was studied. Azmere had met the man but didn’t know him well. Clouds of anger painted the Drykas in an ugly shade of ‘watch out’.

In an instant, Azmere rejoined his body. He shot up from his seated position and immediately began coughing. He tried several times to quell it but eventually resorted to being patted on the back while he sorted out filling his body back up with oxygen. His skin was the color of the blood that ran beneath it as he stared holes into Lodai. “Go get her!” He barked while he signed a location then dismissed his second in the pavilion. Asher was about to ask something but the cold stare of his ankal silenced him before he ever drew a breath. The old man offered a waterskin instad which Azmer took and drained then cast the small item against one of the vertical dividers.

His pacing resumed only now it wasn’t out of worry. It was rage that bubbled inside the man and it begged to be set free. Twice, Azmere would stop and squat down then drive a fist into the earth. The second time it happened, the warrior coupled the downward strike with a last minute twitch in his hips to transfer some power from his core into the blow. His arm rippled with the tension ins his muscles the shook from the repercussion of impact. What he left behind was a perfect indentation of his fist that caused Azmere to think about his mood. He would never intentionally hurt anyone under his canvas but the emotions that boiled his blood at this moment were making him blind.

When Azmere heard the sounds of hooves approach, he remained inside the tent. He feared that his anger might get the best of him should the walahk decide to come into the Stormblood camp. Fortunately, he hadn’t. The tarp drew up and the sound of rain entered as did the cool smell of the evening. Finally, Taurina walked into the light of the cooking fire and Az almost lost it. He bit his lip to stop any outbursts from damaging his ability to process the sudden storm that rolled his emotions into dark clouds and bashed them against his insides. The scarred man felt awful all over and for a host of reasons but none so clear as the Drykas who stood in his doorway.

Taurina’s face was innocent to the point of naïve. She reminded him of a young animal; curious yet lacking in any understanding of why it was being scolded.
Lodai, either explained it to her, or she asked enough to understand that she had set the camp on its ear. The blue and gold stare pierced her gaze and held it. Anger was easy to spot but so was the vast emptiness of expected loss. For several chimes Az couldn’t move or speak- he just stared at her. The big warrior pushed his way in behind the Eth but quickly moved off to hide in the shadows. As much as he enjoyed teasing Azmere all day, Lodai was not about to test the unstable vibe that was pulsing from his friend.

Azmere opened his mouth to speak but stopped and made a fist instead…two fists. He squeezed his hands so tight that his tanned hands turned pure white from fingers to wrists. The ankal's body trembled from the force that he was using to restrain the tension that was threatening to tear him apart at the seams. Another chime passed and he slowly closed the distance between them. The closer he got, the more he felt sorry for her but that quickly grew sour. Finally, he reached out his right hand and Az cupped the side of her face with the grip of a feather. His left hand went to his back and gripped the belt of his pants. His fingers squeezed so hard that the leather band began to crinkle several inches away from his grasp. His words started out softly- barely audible above the gentle crackle of the fire.

A thought crossed the ankal’s mind that hadn’t before. A deep, searching stare whipped around to catch the caramel eyes of Taurina. “Did he hurt you?” The man put his left hand on her shoulder for comfort. Azmere could feel his anger growing towards the face of the man he had seen in the web. Not one for murder, the idea of vengeance was starting to become so real that he could taste it. “Where did he find you? I promise he’ll never hurt anyone again.” You can imagine the shift that took place when she denied any force or foul play on the part of her escort.

“So, you left?” Because you… There was a pause that occurred while Azmere tried to pick the pieces up. You want to leave? Azmere’s stomach bent in such a way that he felt like it simply dissipated into vapor which was staggeringly uncomfortable. “Why, Taurina?” It was all he could say while they were in contact but he drew his hand away and shook both of his paws out at his sides. His body tingled in the way that a body does when it’s fighting an illness or pain. Azmere turned away and began to pace again while each step seemed to increase his volume. “Help me understand why you would do this.” His hands worked quickly through Pavi signs to help define his speech. Runaway. “Why would you put your life in the hands of a stranger?” Azmere’s face twisted in an ugly way when he thought of this man. Walahk. No good. The starburst eyes were carried with a quick two step to be inches away from the girl. His body was so off-kilter that he would’ve radiated heat from his anger but also ice from his broken trust. In no more than whisper, he repeated her own words back to her.

“I’m not going anywhere. You promised.” He took a step back with a flat expression. Azmere not only looked tired but he looked frail; old. The fire licked at the speckling of grey in his hair and beard but even his tanned skin seemed to be drained of color much as his face was void of emotion. His hands made two very clear, slow and deliberate signs.

Promise. Broken.

Textbox courtesy of Firenze

[Jasmine Stormblood]

Jasmine sat beside Asher watching her ankal pace back and forth. Everything in her wished to find Taurina and kick her ass for making the man worry. But she knew that would do nothing except make matters worse. With a sigh the girl covered her face with one hand when Lodai mouthed off again about the absence of their pavilion member. What had once been a flourishing and happy family, had become just the three women, two children, and three men. It was still a good sized pavilion, but they had lost two members from their family. Ixzo had been killed by Zith in the previous season, and now Rufio had ran off towards the end of the season leaving an emptiness in her wake. With a sharp look to the big bear, the blonde tried to focus on her ankal and relax him.

“Please Azmere. You must relax, getting upset will only make matters worse. We all miss her and worry, but pacing will not accomplish anything. Sit for a moment, before you collapse on us,” Jasmine softly pleaded with her ankal.

The man had brought a stability to her life when nothing made sense. She did not want to lose that already. Something inside her said the woman would be back, and the blonde trusted that voice. If only Azmere would listen to it and calm down some as well. The drykas was not surprised in the least at his reaction to their missing member. A part of her knew that he would be having flashbacks to his own family being killed or going missing during the pirate raids. With a glare the blonde was happy to see the big bear get put in his place all be it a painful way. Lodai had cracked off about the girl finding a husband which infuriated not only the ankal into punching the big man, but everything in Jasmine wanted to hit the man as well. Figuring he had been dealt with enough at the moment, the blonde turned her head back to Azmere when he suddenly plopped down and started to concentrate.

“Is he going back into the web again Asher?” Jasmine asked curiously.

“Yes, he is. Have you never entered the web?” Asher asked looking back at the woman.

“No, maximus did very little with me after I turned thirteen,” Jasmine spoke. Lodai's voice called out again about Azmere punching him in the web. Snorting the girl looked over to him, “the way you've been acting with your smart ass comments, you deserve it. You've done nothing but put more stress on our ankal. He's got enough to worry with, without you adding to his fears and paranoia.”

Asher looked at Lodai when he geared up to snap at the girl. Shaking his head the older man backed the blonde without a second thought. He did not take sides often if ever, but this time the girl was right. Jasmine was glad when Asher helped shut the big man down, before the two started bickering and add more stress to the situation. The woman loved the two men, however there was times when she wished the larger of the two had a filter. Looking over the blonde nodded and stood up heading out of the pavilion to fetch something for Asher to cook with. Jumping slightly the blonde had not expected her ankal to explode from his sitting position on the floor. Covering her heart some, the girl went to playfully chide the man for scaring her till she saw his face. Something was wrong very wrong. Watching Lodai leave, the woman turned back to the man.

“Did you find her?” Jasmine asked gently trying to calm him.

Backing up slowly the girl was becoming scared of her ankal, everything about him caused his form to change from that to Maximus. Shaking her head, the girl forced the memory away to be dealt with after everyone was asleep for the night. Walking over, she spoke softly trying to get him to calm down before they returned. Though reasoning with him seemed to be like reasoning with a zibri at the moment. Looking at Asher for help the man just held his hands up not knowing what to do. After several chimes the girl entered the pavilion causing Azmere to suddenly stop and just go rigid. About to speak, the blonde looked when Lodai took her arm and gently pulled her to the side shaking his head. Turning back to the others, Jasmine watched as their leader went through an array of emotions. He slow growling approach at the end caused the blonde to do as she had done in the past. Throwing herself into the middle of the fray to protect her family had been her purpose in her previous home, now it looked to be the same here. Instantly the blonde was between the two her back to Taurina so that Azmere had to look at her first as her hands went up and gently landed on his chest to keep him back. Her right hand went up and made the big man look down at her as she spoke.

“Azmere, that's enough. Take a ride and cool off, she doesn't know pavilion rules and etiquette. If she had broken a promise to never leave, then she would not have returned. Go on, let me speak with her and see whats going on. Your emotions are too raw, if you don't calm down; you will do something you regret. Please trust me,” Jasmine spoke in a firm even tone, though her heart was trying to rip out of her chest and run away.

The Clan is Strength.
The Clan is Life.

[Taurina]

Home. A place of sanctuary and safety. A place to find rest, comfort, and maybe even something like love with those she shared it with. Their home had gotten smaller since she had joined. The loss of one the season before her joining that had lingered and then the loss of another at the very end of the season prior to this one. Three women, three men, two children. People who were close and enjoyed each others company. People who laughed in firelight and shared in each others joy. When trials came, they preserved together. They weathered the storms together. Yet, this night, with the canvas walls of their new pavilion surrounding those who had gathered within, it did not feel like home. It felt nothing like home.

Fear was not a new emotion to the Ethaefal. Her life was ruled by it. Destroyed by it. The icy tendrils of it squeezed at her heart and its thorns coiled around the tender parts of her brain. Yet, with Azmere she had never felt fear. There had always been comfort with him. A sort of love that she had never experienced before and did not quite understand. From the moment they had met there had been an instant bond. Their brokenness, their stories had tied them together in a way that was not easily unravelled. At least, prior to this day Taurina had not thought it easily unravelled.

He was silent. Taurina wanted to scream at him. She wanted to break down in tears and yell at him at the same time. To grip him by the shoulders and drag him down to her level so she could demand to know all that stormed behind his star colored gaze. There was no happiness there. No light nor the comfort she had grown accustom to finding there. Only pain was left and an anger she did not recognize. Azmere. The one she trusted most. What was he going to do to her with fists balled tight, ready to throw?

He did not strike her, though she had half expected it to come. It was not that she had been struck by a man before or even anyone before. It was that anger. The way it pulled at him so much he showed it throughout his entire being. He was rendered speechless at first and stood far from her. That question, the naive stupidity lasted on her face mingled with fear. When he stepped closer a breath caught in her throat. Instinct told her to move back, get out while she still could. Find Starfire and leave once more before any harm could befall her. But she did not. She was frozen and he reached her.

A feather. His touch reminded her of a feather. So gentle and somewhat kind. His eyes captured her caramel gaze and words were spoken so softly across his lips. There was.. concern. A blink of surprise blanked the Ethaefal’s face for a single moment. Where had that come from? The care had come back. Even if it only lasted for a moment and made way for a new anger. Anger towards Turrin. Taurina felt her insides become hollow. Her heart ached for she did not wish to break his heart. She wanted to put back all the pieces and make it better. Pretend the adventure had never happened. Go back to the day when her marks disappeared and Azmere held her close, promising that he would never leave her.

She debated it. Telling him what he wanted to hear to cover the hurt. Telling him something like: 'yes, Turrin hurt me. He had found me and decided me worthy of his affection. Stole me away with sweet, poisonous promises to a valley in the Sea of Grass where he did unspeakable things to me.'

But she could not lie. She could never lie. Not to him. Her gaze was cast downward in shame. In guilt.

“No Azmere,” she spoke softly, her voice drown out by the fire for the others but easily heard by one so close, “he did not hurt me.”

That stung to admit. Not because it was the truth, but because of the hurt that came after. Because while Taurina’s heart had always been glass, Azmere had been the stone. He had been the unshakeable force she could lean on. But now… something had torn away the stone to reveal a flesh heart and it was not beautiful. Not now. It was full and bursting in a way that made those around him stand back and make room for the explosion that was sure to follow.

Before he left her, Taurina tried to move closer. She tried to press her face into his hand, lift her shoulder into his touch, make her hands move so that she could touch him. She wanted to assure him it had been nothing. That nothing changed what she felt and what she had meant when she made that promise. Yet, her hands remained lax and frozen at her sides. Her gaze remained downcast as his words tore into her soul and create an ache that pulsed through her being.

“You left? Why, Taurina?”

There was so much hurt. So much pain. Her own pain she was familiar with, but his pain was uncharted territory. Yet, it did not matter that much. His pain added to hers and all she could feel was that ache as he continued to speak.

“Azmere… I.. I didn’t…” Tears were brimming around the edges of her eyes.

Like a child, she wanted to collapse. To melt into a puddle of sobs and beg for forgiveness. She had never meant to hurt him, but she had also not stopped to think about it. It was herself alone that she had thought of. Her desire to go on an adventure. Her own safety had been thought of, but Turrin had made a convincing argument that she would be safe with him. It had been foolish to believe him, but that was not all that it had been. She had been selfish. She had wanted what Turrin had told her to be true because her body had quaked with desire to go and do something and not give up the dare he had challenged her to. Now she was paying the price her selfishness demanded.

Then came the end. The bitter, terrible end. Promise. Broken. And, just like that, the floodgates opened. Tears began to flow.

Jasmine rose to fight for her friend and it was the first time Taurina really noticed the blonde’s presence in the pavilion. Before then her focus had solely been on Azmere. Now there was a new voice, but it did not matter so much anymore. The Eth did not even focus much on the words that the Drykas woman spoke. All Taurina could think about was how she had betrayed her ankal. How she had hurt him so much his face had turned void of emotions. She knew though, from her own experience she knew, they all remained. Boiling beneath the surface no matter how hard he tried to force them away.

The Ethaefal stared to the ground, her gaze would not lift now that she knew how he truly felt. First it was the fire that captured her eyes, but then it was something else not far from it. An indent upon the floor of their home. The perfect size for a fist. Was it home? Was this truly home? It was not the one she had come to know. It was not the one she looked forward to getting back to. It was not the one full of happiness, joy, and people who stuck together no matter what. Now it was the home of those full of broken hearts and fractured dreams.

“I am sorry,” Taurina spoke, her words a soft whisper that barely rose louder than the breath of the others in the pavilion, “gods Azmere, I am so sorry.”

Taurina squeezed her eyes shut. Her whole being trembling under the weight of her grief.

“I did not think of what it would do, what it would mean. I just wanted.. an adventure,” she shrunk back at her own words, they did not sound like the right ones to say, “it was foolish. But it meant nothing! I swear.. It meant nothing. It was..” silly, stupid, reckless. “It was not home or family. Here. Home. This is where I want to be.”

She promised, but she doubted he thought her promises worth anything anymore.

Taurina looked to Jasmine, her friend. The one she trusted most next to Azmere. Jasmine had shared with Taurina part of her story with her old pavilion. She had told of the man who had wrongfully introduced himself to her as father for too many years before throwing her away when he no longer saw her worthy of his affection. Just because of pretty blue eyes and Syna touched hair. Foolish man. Never saw what he had had under his own pavilion. The gift and light that she was. It was that light now that Taurina looked for. That ray of hope in the swirling pool of darkness that was threatening to consume her soul.

“Azmere,” Taurina spoke soft, her now tear-filled and desperate gaze turned back to him, “I came back. I never meant to go anywhere. I promised forever, remember? I was always going to come home. Home, here, to our family.. to you. Does that mean nothing?”

Then, spoken by hands rather than voice: Do I mean nothing?

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Azmere]

Azmere was in six different places while not being wholly in a single one. The contrasting gaze went from blankly staring at nothing to focusing on the tear-filled eyes of Taurina then catching the radiant blue orbs of Jasmine. The ankal had no real idea what to say or do at this point. The words that came out of the Eth’s mouth revealed her inexperience in life. Despite the heat in his chest that begged to be turned loose; to run over the grasslands like a wildfire. The voice in his ear- a voice he’d grown accustomed to and was able to derive comfort. The blonde had spoken more truth in a few moments than Azmere had in his entire rant. Emotionally charged shouting hardly laid the groundwork for a productive conversation.

Azmere turned to face Asher and signed an apology then asked him to leave. The man did as he was asked but made sure to walk up and pat the scarred man on the shoulder first. The ankal caught the elder by the hand and gave him a squeeze of appreciation. Once Asher was gone, it was just the man with the contrasting stare and the two women; both of whom had reason to be upset with him. While not being favorable conditions, Azmere had seen worse. His breathing had calmed down and he face was more tired than angry. The fire in the middle of the pavilion was dying out so he walked over and knelt next to it. His hands took a few crisp dung patties and tossed them in for more fuel. As he squatted there next to the heat source, he motioned for both of them to join him. There was a pile of blankets and furs with some pillows which were always there for people to take their ease.

Azmere waited for them to join him and took Jasmine’s hand first. He drew her down so that her body would rest in the space against his chest and between his legs. He pressed down upon her back with his chest and reached round the blonde to take Taurina’s hands and pulled her into the fold. Once Jasmine came to settle, her legs would be out and the emotional Eth could curl up against her as a sister and friend. Once he had them both stationary, Azmere moved to be off to the side so that he could see them both. The fatigue from his wondering mind and horrible control of his feelings was plastered over his face. His eyes were slick with relief but mostly joy. To see both of them together seemed to put air back in his lungs which began to heal the cracks that had shown in his armor. His hands set about preparing a kettle for tea as he began to speak.

“I never knew much about my father. My mother always told me he was a good man but he died when I was small.” The ankal watched his audience carefully but did so in a way that was casual and nonchalant as he crushed up leaves to steep. “I spent many seasons being foolish and chose to ignore the second chance my grandfather had given me. He took me in as an older man to teach me how to lead despite the call from some that I not be allowed to stay among the clans.” His hands stopped for a moment to sign regrets and mistakes. The azure and amber stare floated down to Taurina as he signed this. It was not malicious, his gaze, but the look of understanding. “I tried to learn from him. Asmodeus was a great man and tried to teach me to be the same but I am not.” Azmere looked into the fire for a moment as the realizations of his shortcoming dashed against the stoic expression. He knew if he waited too long, the focus would shift so he continued while retasking his hands to move the water onto the cast iron plate to warm.

“I’m older than many ankals but I am new to being a leader.” His gaze looked from one to the other while making sure to read what they were giving him. “I was bullied as a child, led astray as a teenager and coached as a young man in the ways of greatness. Now, I stand among my peers with a pavilion full of fire”, his right hand reached out and gently brushed his right hand along Jasmine’s cheek while he eyes and the right side of his face smiled at her. The blue-eyed Drykas had been a handful at times but she never backed down because of the flame that burned in her spirit. Azmere was a moth to her burning soul and he had only recently come to discover what that meant. His gaze shifted to Taurina as he finished his thought. “and light.” His left extended and cupped her cheek and jaw while thoughts of the conversations they had shared and the way they came together over her bonding filled his head. The Eth was a creature of light and Taurina’s presence was a silver bolt of lightning that glistened in the midst of a storm even if she had yet to realize it.

Azmere held the connection with each of them for almost a chime before he went back to finishing their tea by dropping some berries in with the herbs. Then he added the steaming water and continued his lecture. “I am your ankal and the one who is responsible for making decisions.” He paused to swallow the lump in his throat. He could stop here. He could end all arguments and future problems by taking a hard stance but then he remembered something his mother had told him. It was the same memory that flashed in his mind the day he had inadvertently slipped into the web while comforting Taurina. ‘Power is only as strong as the love that tempers it.’ The Drykas wanted to be a man who brought forth his authority from a place of compassion as well as reason. When he was done pouring, he took each cup and passed it to Jasmine then Taurina.


“However, that doesn’t mean I am always right.” After he gave Jasmine her drink, he leaned forward and kissed her on the corner of her lips. When he leaned back he signed a thank you which was in regards to her wise words which sobered him from his anger. As he passed Taurina her cup, he issued more of his explanation. “I was wrong to direct my anger at you. While you should not have left without talking to us first, I let my fear poison my words.” Once she took hold of her cup, he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheekbone and whispered “I’m sorry.” When he sat back on his haunches, he signed to her that she belonged among them and indicated Jasmine as well.

It was clear that the man had run out of words and was drained but he rose just the same and gathered his gear. Within a few chimes, he had donned his black armor, had his weapons and was about to head out when he circled back around to the girls. He leaned down and rested his palm upon the side of Taurina’s face while his lips planted a parting kiss on Jasmine’s temple. The lingering sentiment was left as he limped out of the tent with Grey close behind. He found Skylla standing near Starfire and Atavan as well as both of the other men.

Asher looked up and smiled but Lodai looked confused. Azmere held up a hand and limped over to his mount. “Get the cats. We’re going to hunt.” Asher cleared his throat in protest but the ankal was already atop his strider. Lodai wasn’t looking the most thrilled either but he wasn’t about to argue. He had known Azmere long enough to realize there was a plan involved so he did as he was told. A few chies later, they were gone with Grey, Nyne and Zora leading them into the Sea of Grass. Azmere’s gaze twinkled as he used the magic in his body to fuel the stars of his eyes. A wide swath of colors had been spread out before him like a river of reds and yellows. The pavilion animals were quickly on the trail and Lodai rode closer to his ankal.

“What are we chasing?” His voice was a whisper as night set in and the damp, drizzling weather laid its chill in the air.

Azmere looked over with a mischievous grin. “Duikers.”

Textbox courtesy of Firenze

[Jasmine Stormblood]

Jasmine felt a sense of relief when he seemed to physically calm down. The blonde put her hands down before moving out from in front of Taurina, when the man moved away to tend to the fire. She gently touched the woman's face to help calm her. Looking over when he beckoned the pair over, the blonde was the first to begin moving. She kept quiet listening to the man's breathing and watching his movements which appeared to have calmed. A soft blush appeared on her face when the man took her hand and pulled her down softly. Easing around his legs, the blonde sat down and let her back press against his chest. Opening her mouth, she fell quiet seeing the look in his eyes. Her gaze followed his arms as he reached for Taurina next.

As the other woman was guided down, the female opened her arms as well wrapping them around her. Leaning up some the blonde made it easier for him to get up and move away from the two. Jasmine was never one to be quiet for a long time so for the amount of time that had passed was impressive. Confusion graced her face again when he began talking about his father. Though the girl had never gotten much about his family out of him, while she seemed to spill everything to him. She was stunned to hear him say that he didn't see the greatness in him. True the young ankal had made mistakes, but that was a part of their everyday life. The mistake did not make the man it was how he recovered from them. The woman wanted to bombard him with questions about his mother and grandfather. It seemed that her grandpa was not the only one to step up when the time was necessary.

The girl blushed and turned her head into his hand again. It was the comforting embrace that she missed so much from her mother and Thrash. Reaching out, the woman took the cup feeling the warmth from the liquid within. A darker blush hit when he almost kissed her directly on the lips as he had not shown much affection in front of others. Raising her cup to her lips, the woman drank some of it while looking at the pair before her. She watched the man as he finished and got dressed; the woman looked to Taurina wondering if she had any clue from before she left. Soon he had disappeared out of the tent.

“Well..... that was revealing and quite calm. Taurina, where have you been? You gave everyone a scare; we were scared that on a hunt one day, we would come across your body. Please never leave without telling us where you are going,” Jasmine chided gently and quietly yet at the same time sternly.

[Taurina]

There was a change in the room. A shift that was not like the shift the Ethaefal experienced in the transition from day into night or night into day. This shift was like a drop of still in the room that had previously been so charged with emotion. A certain silent calm came and washed over them, but for Taurina it was a tense calm. She did not know what was coming next. Azmere’s face was too hard to read. It was too hard to guess what words would be shaped by his lips next.

Asher was sent from their pavilion. The old man did not linger, but listened. He left, but not before an exchange with his ankal. Taurina believed there to be understanding there. Understanding, reassurance, and acceptance. Perhaps things were not about to go so badly as she feared. The older man left and Taurina’s caramel gaze shifted to focusing solely on her ankal. She found his own multi-colored gaze settled on her and the female beside her. What she saw there was the calm without the anger. He looked almost tired even, worn. Had he truly worried for her so much? Or was this something else she was seeing in his face?

Taurina watched as Azmere turned from them and went to tend their dimming fire. It was Jasmine’s touch brushing against her face that brought the Ethaefal’s attention over to her. She looked at the woman with brilliant blue eyes and managed a weak smile. There was a sort of calm reassurance in that gentle touch. Taurina allowed it to help sooth her. Breathing fell to a steady in and out. The pulse once thundering in her chest with fear and sorrow dropped back to a more regular beat. They were alright, things were alright. Well, as alright as they could be. If Azmere was going to react poorly to the responses she had given him than he would have already. Right?

It was so strange what happened next. The ankal motioned for them to both come to him and when they did, he helped them down to his level on the floor. Taurina watched with uncertainty as Jasmine settled within the grasp of their ankal. His chest pressed against her back, his legs around her, and his arms wrapped around her with hands reaching out for Taurina. Though she was unsure, the Eth took her final steps towards them and allowed him to grasp her scarred hands with his larger ones. It was easy to settle against Jasmine. She had become friend and the warmth that surrounded her was easy to fall into.

Taurina curled up against her friend and pavilion mate. She found comfort in the embrace that surrounded her and while she did not fully relax, she rested her small, Drykas, body against the blonde’s front. Her head did not find a place against the blue eyed Drykas, but instead remained up while her cautious eyes watched their ankal. He had moved away from his spot behind them. Now he gazed at them and then he began moving again. Moving his hands, occupying them with making tea, as his voice rose to touch their ears.

The past, he was telling them of his past. The Ethaefal remembered some of what he said from their first encounter. That had been a day of stories. A day of shared brokenness. Taurina was reminded of how things had not been easy for him. Life had not been very kind to him. His father had died, his second ankal had not taken much notice of him, but his grandfather had been there. Like Jasmine’s grandfather had been there for her. Taurina found her gaze focusing on the man’s facial scars, a look of both sorrow and understanding passing over her face as she was reminded of that story. A day of reckless activity that had nearly destroyed him. He had taken an adventure, like she had the day before, and it had nearly ended him. She should have thought better.. should have remembered. Should have known what thoughts would fill him and how her unannounced absence would tear at his soul.

The Ethaefal wanted to raise to him, grip him and apologize again and again. She wanted to make everything better or erase all the mistakes entirely. He had deserved better than her just disappearing without a word. They had all deserved better from her. Selfish. She had been so selfish. It took effort not to bury her face in her hands and hide from them both. Effort to not speak all of the apologies forming on her tongue that would never measure up, but instead listen to him continue on.

Fire. That was Jasmine. So bright and brilliant like the goddess who had touched her. Taurina felt a tug at the corner of even her lips when Azmere chose that word to describe the unusually silent female.

Light. Azmere called Taurina light. The Ethaefal felt herself leaning towards his caring touch as he said such a kind thing about her. How could he say such a thing about her when she had just torn a hole through his heart? Taurina did not understand. She did not know where his anger had gone. How he spoke with such a calm now.

When the ankal pulled away from them after that near chime, Taurina moved her hand over and wiped away the tears that had formed within her eyes. They had been the tears of one who was touched beyond her understanding. Not sorrow, not happiness, and not even anger. Something else. Something deep and unrelenting, but not bad. The Eth felt guilty and sorry for her actions, but that was not what had caused these. No, her heart had swelled at the kindness Azmere showed her now. After being so sure and afraid that he was going to force her to leave after what she had done, she had not been prepared for this.

Jasmine got her tea first. The thanks and kiss that came after did not escape Taurina’s notice. Neither did the blush that overtook her friend’s cheeks after such affection had been given. The Eth did not take the time to dwell or wonder on the actions, however. Instead she allowed herself to focus on Azmere as he turned to her and offered her the second cup of tea. She took it, hands clasping around the warm cup as he explained further. His apology was too much. The caramel gaze focused on the contents of her cup as he spoke. Even when his lips brushed against her cheek, an affectionate touch that she was experiencing for the first time, she did not look up. She knew she would cry if she met his gaze again. His last words of ’I’m sorry’ nearly pushed her over that edge.

Taurina’s glistening gaze lifted just enough to see the sign that passed over Azmere’s hands. Belong. A tremor rippled through her Drykas form. She shook her head ever so slightly. Jasmine, she belonged. She had not broken his heart and had instead always stuck by him. She may have had a mouth on her, but she stood for what she believed in and fought for her family. She was the one who belonged here, who belonged by Azmere’s side. Taurina felt dirty next to her Syna touched friend. She felt tainted and guilty. How could Azmere tell her that he was sorry? How could he say that she belonged after what she had done? After the grief she had caused?

A response refused to form in Taurina’s sob blocked throat. Instead she silently accepted his touch against her tear stained cheek as she willed herself to become still. His lips pressed against Jasmine’s temple and then he left them. Taurina could still feel his gentle hand against her cheek as she remained frozen there, curled against Jasmine’s form, gripping her cooling cup of tea.

Then Jasmine spoke and Taurina could no longer hold herself together. The tears came and her body trembled, but only slightly. To keep it safe, she put her tea off to the side before she moved to rest against Jasmine’s form. She moved so that she her left side was facing her friend rather than her back and she tucked her legs beneath her. She woman rested her head in the space between Jasmine’s shoulder and base of her neck. Perhaps she should have moved away from the other Drykas woman, but she craved the comforting touch the blonde had given her earlier. She needed the hold Azmere had placed them here together to give each other.

“I’m sorry.. I’m sorry,” Taurina promised, her hands curled up in her lap, “It was foolish, I did not mean to cause so much harm. I did not think.. I just did not think.”

The Ethaefal wiped away tears, but her voice was cracked with her sobs. She was so sorry, but felt as though that did not mean much of anything. How was she going to fix all that she had broken? Azmere had told her he was sorry for his anger towards her. That he had been in the wrong. Taurina did not believe so. He had been right to be angry, she had done wrong. Even if his apology meant that he had forgiven her, she did not forgive herself. She did not know if she would ever be able to forgive herself for this.

“I deserve all of your anger. All of the words he had prepared before you stepped in. I deserve it Jasmine.. I did not think of what it might do to him. I knew.. I have known since the day he brought me home of some of his past. Enough that if I had just made myself think.. that if I had just remembered.. I should have known. I should have remembered,” Taurina continued to ramble, tremors going through her body every so often, “I was so foolish. How does he speak with such kindness towards me? Give me such gentle touches after this? How can he apologize to me when it is me who owes him so much more than that?”

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Jasmine Stormblood]

The woman wrapped her arms around the girl letting her meld into her form. She knew the pain of an angry ankal. Though the situation had ended up far differently with the other leader. The bruises had finally healed after some time, but the mental image was still there. Azmere had always been kind even without needing to be. That part of him had never changed no matter how much trouble the blonde had caused, and she had caused more than her fair share through out the city.

“I know you are dear,” Jasmine said gently. She was not surprised at all by the young woman's out burst in pain and anger, “now now, Azmere knows that you would never have meant to cause any harm. He spoke out of worry and panic, ever since the pirate raids. He does not do well with outsiders. It will take time ”

Jasmine held her tightly with a soft sigh while rubbing her back gently. The blonde gently turned the young Eth's face upwards. With gentle hands, the woman wiped away her tears like a mother would an upset child. Everyone was on edge after Azmere's blow up, but it was time to pull themselves together and move forward. Taking a deep breathe, the woman became very calm and serious with the girl before her.

“It is time that you learn the rules of our people. Starting with pavilion etiquette,” Jasmine said gently, “first, you never leave the pavilion without letting someone know where you are going. That is to ensure that if something were to happen, we would know where to go to find you. Second, never leave with an outsider alone. No matter how good of a fighter or how nice they seem, outsiders can be very dark and dangerous people. I do not wish to make you paranoid and afraid, but we have these rules for a reason understand?”

The blond truly did not want to upset the girl any more, than she already was. But these things needed to be instilled in her from that point forward. Jasmine was not a person who would just lash out at someone who knew no better. It was those that did know better, that got the brunt of her anger when it came time. While letting the young woman absorb the previous information, the blonde wondered if she needed to tell her about the laws of the Drykas culture as well. Though that would reveal more than just simple laws; the Drykas was a very secretive people that kept their laws as close as their Striders.

“In time you will learn of our city laws as well, for now though. Let's get cleaned up and see if Asher needs any help getting the pavilion cleaned,” Jasmine said gently.

[Taurina]

There was comfort found within Jasmine’s embrace. The Syna touched Drykas was kind to the Ethaefal. There was understanding in her hold and knowing in her gentle words. While the tears did not cease to fall right away, the Eth was calmed by her pavilion mate’s care towards her. Things did not seem dark with Jasmine there reminding her that Azmere was kind, but the past had been unkind to him. Caused his mind to go to the worst of possibilities. He had spoken with worry for the Eth’s well being and sometimes worry twisted into anger when reason was forgotten. Jasmine had become that reason for him and now that he had left, she had become the same for the distraught Ethaefal.

Once, Taurina lived amongst the Konti woman of Mura and witnessed how they all lived together with care in their hearts for one another. Sisters. This, being with Jasmine now, is what Taurina imagined that felt like. She had never been one of the Konti, always an outsider, but here she was a Drykas. She was apart of this family just as Jasmine was. They differed in many ways, but the care that family members were suppose to have for each other was there. Taurina felt undeserving of such care in these moments. After what she had done she felt they should abandon her out in the grasses. Yet, Jasmine was teaching her with arms wrapped around her that family was not something one earned. The love of family was given, freely and unconditionally.

The sobs stopped coming as Jasmine rubbed her back with a soft hand. After her trembling ceased, the Eth willingly allowed the blonde to take her face in her hands and wipe away her tears. Taurina’s lower lip quivered at the tenderness Jasmine used, but she kept herself from forming anymore tears. She was cared for. She was loved. It was something she had to learn to accept. Something that she needed to learn to give in return. Her heart ached a little for she knew she had not done that and she wanted to change that. They were family to her and now she wished to be family to them.

“I understand,” Taurina’s voice was soft, but sure as she spoke, “I did not know, but now I do and will not willingly break the rules again.”

The Ethaefal had not willingly brought hurt into their home this time, but she was going to be sure she did not do it again. This had been a mistake. A thousand steps back for one who had been moving forward. Taurina took a shaky sigh. She knew that she had broken trust and done damage. She had not forgiven herself for this hurt, but she was moving past it. Well, enough so that she could part from Jasmine without bursting into another round of tears. She reached for her tea that had become room temperature by this point and drank is slowly as she listened to the last of what Jasmine had to say. As the liquid spread throughout her and warmed her despite the majority of its heat having escaped, Taurina nodded.

Cup drained and tears dried, Taurina stood. When she did, the moonlight shining through the clouds and into the tent through the hole in the ceiling hit her. The change from day to night happened. The Ethaefal’s earthbound form shone something like moonstone and light before it faded within a handful of ticks. The beautiful ethereal form stood in its place. Taurina smiled weakly down at her hands before she sighed, still saddened by all that had happened.

“It is night,” she told Jasmine, her voice still soft, “Asher and Lodai have not come back in. Wherever Azmere went, I suspect he took them with him.”

Taurina sighed. She thought that maybe perhaps she should worry for them, but she did not. They were knowing and with three of them together she doubted harm would come to them. They would look out for each other. She just hoped they made their way back soon. Azmere had been worn and tired, rest was needed. Rest was needed for all of them.

“We can clean in the morning. Find sleep now, Jasmine, if you can. We all deserve some.” It was not so much an order, more of a weak suggestion from the still emotionally raw Ethaefal. “I’m going to see to Starfire.”

Taurina gave the softest of smile before she crossed the pavilion and slipped past the entrance of their home. It was not hard to find her strider for he had remained close as if worried for his rider. It was still raining, but only lightly now. A drizzle leaning towards the end of the storm. Taurina went to her white stallion and wrapped her arms around his neck, her face burying in his mane. She did not say anything. Did not apologize or cry. She simply held him and that was enough.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'