The world is a vast empty space that can only be filled in by traveling it.
I have had, what many people call wanderlust, for most, of not all of my life, as far as I remember. I have never truly felt comfortable living in one place for an extended period of time, and am constantly looking for opportunities to travel or to move to a new place. I am 1/4th Gitano*, the ethnic Roma who live in Spain, on my fathers side. More so than any one else in my family, save my grandfather whom after I apparently take, I seem to have inherited this particular trait, the " Alma Gitana" (Gypsy soul) as my family calls it. Because of this, I have been fortunate enough to have have traveled to distant parts of the world, immerse myself in cultures and peoples foreign to that of my own, learn new languages and overall experience a great deal of what this world has to offer.
However amazing that may sound, it does have some real and unfortunate drawbacks. I have not lived a stable life. In this past year alone I have called home 4 different cities, across 4 countries and two continents. I have had to change cellphones all 4 times. My banks hate me for it, and its difficult to "get credit" as it were due to this instability. (also, try passing through US customs and immigration. It's a night mare.) You don't generally have much money; I've definitely had the "food vs. transportation" conversation a few times. Lodging can also be a bit difficult. While I was in Brussels I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a few months. My roommates were incredible, and I met some amazing people while I was there, but believe me, you get over the 'romanticized bohemian' lifestyle quickly.
Not everyone can do this, or want's to do this. I know this because I constantly have people telling me that I'm crazy, or that they ave no idea how I do it. Let me tell you, its exhausting. By the end of it all I was struggling with both the emotional and mental exhaustion of constantly being on the move, of migrating, of saying hello only to then say good bye a short time later. I have to be honest that I lost a good deal of my writing motivation through this.
Then there is of course the issue of communication. Thank god for things like Facebook, skype, whatsapp, etc... as it does help a great deal. That being said, it can get complicated. Having 4 different phone numbers meant that not only I had to keep on changing my info, but also every one else who wanted to call/text me. Wifi isn't always an option, so you miss a few things while you are out. The time difference plays a larger role than most people think, I realized, as there is generally always a lag between you and the people back home. This was something that I had to deal with in particular right around when I dropped off from miz this summer.
I woke up one morning to find a few missed calls and a message from my mother, saying that my father had to undergo major surgery while also being diagnosed with cancer. Luckily, everything turned out alright and he is doing fine, however it was difficult to get a hold of my family (Me being in Europe, they in Mexico) for any sort of immediate response, and being separated by not just distance, but also time wasn't something that was weighing down on me. Shortly after, (once flights were affordable) I was able to fly home to Mexico to be with by family. I hadn't realized the full extent of my exhaustion until I had actually arrived home (the 2-day travel time didnt help), so I took the rest of summer to both help care for my father and also recuperate.
I am now back in the States, where I will be finishing up a graduate studies program for the next year. I honestly do hope to get back to writing on Miz, not just because I miss my character, Balian, but also because I miss the stories that are being created here.
So, there it is, I think my first 'official rant' on my blog, and a (not so) short explanation of why I disappeared this summer.
(*interestingly, this community of Roma is considered to be different from the Roma originating from east Europe, being deeply ingrained in Spanish folklore and tradition)
