[Gossamer's Scrapbook] The Ethereal Canyon I

[Gossamer]

Mizahar and Activity

In all honesty, Mizahar isn’t a game that works well if you are inactive for long periods of time. Our rules, while not complex, state that PCs need to keep ledgers and track their spending and what they bring in as income. We also require PCs to pay seasonal expenses above any rent or flat out consumerism they do. So… for those who are new… seasonal expenses cover your PC’s day in and day out wear and tear. Seasonal expenses include food! That means you don’t have to track every meal your PC eats.

If you stop at a tavern and order some stew and an ale, you don’t have to make a note in your ledger unless its way above your regular living expense (a stew and ale at a tavern is probably common/good level). You have to pay rent outside of your seasonal expenses because at the start of the game we give you in essence a FREE house you don’t have to pay for so you’re all set up with living safely. If you don’t choose the house, you can choose a tent and horse package with some standard traveling gear. And if you don’t want any of that, you can CASH in your home and start with 500 GM. If you don’t have a home for any reason… you pay rent somewhere.

Its simple. These are not complex rules.

Why do we do things this way? Well, long ago when Mizahar was young, people often felt uninspired and undriven to better themselves without incentive. We could throw quests at them, put forth incentives, have challenges, but in the end, there was still something lacking. People wanted an income, because a lot of fun RP involves wealth building. People also wanted businesses, both mundane, risqué, and even glittery… and we started building economies, thinking about things like taxes, and wanted a more simple way to track ledgers. Seasonal Expenses are brilliant because they let you not track day by day things I suspect a lot of you are tracking.

For example, if your PC needs anything restocked… like say hand cream… and you buy it once… you don’t have to buy it again because its ‘replacement’ is covered under seasonal expenses. The quality of the hand cream depends on your income level. It might be plain, unscented, or the most amazing perfumed hand cream on the planet. Clothing wears out, but because we have Seasonal Expenses, you don’t have to replace what you’ve bought once. All food is covered under your Seasonal Expenses. Do you have to ledger going out and buying a few farm animals or a mount? Sure… but unless something specifically gets to that farm animal or horse in game you’ll not have to replace them unless you want your beloved pet cow to grow old, die, and you have a massive in-game funeral.

So I had to say all that to really get to the point where what I say next makes sense.

Don’t get behind on your ledger. Don’t let abandonment by thread partners or PC employers that leave you hanging. Keep up on everything. Communicate with the DS’s. Make your ledgers work. The storytellers will work with you because they want you to succeed. Mizahar runs on a very simple system, one I’ve just explained. Its up to you to abide by it or not play on the site. It’s absolutely your responsibility to see that thinks work out for you. They work out because you are vigilant and proactive.

Don’t weave in and out of the scene here, being gone for seasons, half active others, and vanishing off and on to the point it makes your book keeping crazy. You should not remotely be here if you can’t be consistent or unless you’ve taken enough charge of your finances that you can get away with periods of inactivity.

And above all… yes this has happened… don’t come to me asking to get special consideration or with a sob story telling me that your finances are not your fault because others dropped the ball or didn’t ask you to update your ledger more frequently. Don’t whine and moan and complain about you not getting paid because you have nothing graded.

That’s not even remotely true.

If you get things written, you can get paid… salaries, wages, payments etc are not grade determined. And above all, don’t come to me with an ultimatum saying that if you don’t get special snowflake status, you will leave…. because I’ll show you the door. Everyone gets the same rules. Everyone is required to quickly update their ledgers at the end of the season. If you keep up with it and don’t ignore it, everything is easy!

It’s soo easy. And if you get into a situation where a PC was supposed to pay you and doesn’t, then talk to a DS. They can easily switch you to a proper employer NPC type that will pay you because you have DS support behind them.

We are all adults here. I can’t stand otherwise and everyone knows it. So, by taking a bit of an active, responsible and adult approach to your PC, you’ll save yourself a lot of work at the end of a season or even at the end of a couple of seasons. We all know real life happens, things occur, and you get torn away from Miz. If that happens, come back and talk to a DS immediately if and when you return. Take a few moments to update things or work through some situations with your local DS that will help your character jump back into the story.

If you can’t do that… if you can’t take these simple steps… if you can’t be responsible and can’t expect to be treated like everyone else, Miz definitely isn’t the game for you. I suggest a more freeform environment with no ledgers and no rules. You can come and go as you please and do what you’d like when you’d like. Miz isn’t built for the transient. Miz isn’t built for someone unwilling to take personal responsibility. We have a site full of people that make it work and have made it work a long long time. If you can’t follow in their footsteps, you don’t definitely belong here.

Goss

[Gossamer]

Books In Mizahar

There’s a lot of misunderstanding about books on Mizahar.

And as much as we’ve talked about it in game and throughout the various venues Mizahar has to offer, it doesn’t always sink in. Mizahar is a world that was utterly destroyed five hundred years ago by the rage and pain of a God whose lover was murdered in a brutal cold-blooded way.

In the time and place – 1 AV – the vast majority of Mizaharians lost their lives. The ones that were left only survived by pure luck and happenchance. In the next ten days – fifty days – one hundred days after the Valterrian probably another three quarters of those that survived died. Death was far more common than life in those times. They faced lack of shelter and utter exposure to elements that were not acting naturally. They could not find clean water. Food was incredibly scarce. There was virtually no medical support. So, people died in droves from starvation, exposure, and simple medical issues that went bad quickly.

Displaced, they wandered looking for shelter but not realizing it was literally a global event and that there was no safe place. Rumors were chased, with fragment populations heading north, south, east, and west chasing them. They hit djed storms which killed many many more. And finally, in desperation, they went underground. I suspect the main reason that happened was due to divine interference. In these days true priests and even champions walked openly among the peoples because they were needed, and those folks had to take charge and offer hope and solutions to a population that had none due to loosing literally everything.

The world of Pre-Valterrian Mizahar was much different than the After-Valterrian Mizahar. People were softer, lived more easily, and had a level of technology that blended magic and science that the current population couldn’t even imagine. Life was easier and knowledge plentiful. But that knowledge wasn’t easily retained. When people scavenged for things in the aftermath of the Valterrian, books weren’t the first thing they reached for unless they needed something to get a fire started due to all the wood being gone.

The world suffered the biggest non-natural disaster it had ever seen. It was a big enough disaster that a solid continent – think The United States, Canada or Europe and Asia Combined – had a massive crater in it that had filled with sea water virtually overnight. That’s a scale of environmental catastrophe that most of us cannot clearly get our minds wrapped around.

This wasn’t a gradual flood. This was a catastrophic event and an inundation. The weather would have been wonky for years afterwards due to the sheer amount of material that got launched into the atmosphere – most likely mimicking an ice age which all of us know doesn’t always involve ice. Temperatures would have plummeted. Crops failed because there were no more fields. Wildlife died in the same numbers as the sentient races.

The sea level as a whole on Mizahar would have dropped tremendously to reflect the displacement of seawater that filled the enormous crater in the center of the continent. This entire event would have wiped out most fringe marine ecologies and coral reefs. Food sources like clam beds, bird nesting grounds, and even fish migrations would be completely out of whack. Plants and animals died in mass numbers simply because their environment changed radically overnight. And all that was true even before one factored in The Djed Storms that raged across the remaining lands and seas – affecting everything in their pathway.

People didn’t have the resources to survive easily. The first to go were the old, children, and the sort of skillset that included scholars and librarians who had no abilities or skills to move around and find food in a harsh unforgiving new environment. That meant mages as well.

People were too busy dying to save books. This was a culture used to war – hundreds of years of it – but it was conducted in such a way polite that no one ever ‘ended’ it before Ivak lost his mind in grief. Mizahar developed no atomic bombs and the two sides were almost so evenly matched neither got much traction against the other. In many ways, the Valterrian was the war that ended all wars on Mizahar. Survival became too important that such things like fighting for land, political power, or control of vital resources ceased to exist.

Books no longer mattered. Books didn’t feed people. They probably burned them in leu of trees for warmth that first winter if they found them intact which was rare enough… the winter that didn’t end when normal winters should have. They would have made insulation for warmth and other creative uses. But no one was making paper for those interim years, and no one was certainly packing them around to ‘save’ them for future generations. Average folks were too busy finding food and figuring out how to ride out the Djed Storms which were deadlier than anyone suspected they could be.

That leads us to Modern Day Mizahar.

Legendary caches of books still exist and are found periodically, but in reality, they are incredibly rare. People in ‘modern day’ Mizahar don’t put a lot of thought and effort in books. Every city has a library, but it wouldn’t look anything like the libraries people are used to seeing outside of Mizahar. The books in these libraries are more journals, field notes, and diaries. Textbooks are almost unheard of. Remember, while the disaster was five hundred years ago, people eked out a living underground for at least two hundred or so more years, probably closer to three hundred. Underground. No light. No pulp vegetation exists below ground to make paper from. No wood pulp paper from trees, and certainly no papyrus was easily found. So, you can easily say they emerged less than two hundred years ago – that’s three generations maybe four – where knowledge was lost.

People had to re-learn writing because there were generations that didn’t have paper or access to books. People had to re-learn languages that were not their own. It was only in the last two hundred years that people have surfaced. It’s a crime that so many storytellers have added massive libraries to their domains. Such things should not exist. Libraries should be small, filled with hand written journals that are more like diaries, notebooks, and secret recipes. There should be common things like basic cooking guides or herbal lists, but even these would be field noted style. People don’t pack around books on their persons. They hide them, horde them, and covet them when they do indeed acquire them. Most people create books themselves… that’s how they come into being. And then those books are copied, recopied, ad nauseam and kept in private collections. Libraries shouldn’t loan books unless a special relationship with the librarian exists.

Stashes of books are the true treasure troves of Mizahar. History tomes are the hand written records of the day by day passages of time. Books on blacksmithing shouldn’t be ‘how to’ but rather lists of metal recipes probably encoded. People learn things by word of mouth, apprenticeship, and being shown because a lot of the knowledge Mizahar has is in ones heads.

That lends us to books on languages. Nope. They wouldn’t exist unless they were written after the Valterrian by people trying to get them into the lore before their death wiped away any knowledge they existed. This is doubly true – the do not exist thing – on languages that have no written version like Pavi. You will NOT find a book on Pavi in this game. It’s just beyond my ability to comprehend how such a thing could be written. Pavi needs to be experienced. The same is true for the ancient tongue. A book on the ancient tongue - Nader-canoch – would be the rarest of the rare type thing… incredibly difficult to come by. There might be one or two in the whole existence of Mizahar at this point. And people don’t know it… unless they are mages from a long line of mages. Sorry to pop a few bubbles here. But this has to be said.

And that leads me to books on Magic. These too would be incredibly rare. Let me say this again. INCREDIBLY RARE. There might be a full dozen Mizahar wide. This is why in some of our contests they’ve been awarded as grand prizes. You might more likely find books on Auristics – if you run across a magic book - because it’s a fairly common thing among an uncommon thing. Remember, MAGES ARE RARE. You would never find a book on Reimancy. This is an induction type magic. Books on that sort of thing don’t exist unless your character writes it. And if you are going to find a pre-valterrian magic book odds are… 100% of the time it would be glyphing… probably nothing more. Ever. Gyphing was considered a sort of grade-school everyone knew it ‘duh’ type of magic skill pre-valterrian. Unless you went through hell and back with a moderator at the wheel, you will find no other magical tomes. Lost Discipline books would be newly written by current folks that know the disciplines and in hand written journal form.

That being said, your PC can write any book they want. But let me warn you now… I’m not taking it seriously unless you spend an appropriate amount of time in thread writing it as it would equate to in real life. You aren’t going to write a ‘basics of glassblowing’ or a ‘fundamentals of mathmatics’ in just one thread. That’s utter bullshit and if someone awards you lore and XP for doing so, they probably deserve a grader badge yanked. Again, the same goes with magic. Besides, Magic isn’t set in stone as having fundamentals in post-Valterrian Mizahar. It can be interpreted a million ways by a million different people and have their arguments on their viewpoints defensible because of how fluid magic is to work with on Mizahar.

And finally, stop using ‘books’ as a Deus Ex Machina literary device. This refers to a character using an implausible concept brought into the story to resolve and bring about a favorable solution. Roughly speaking? “My PC learned it from a book…. “ “My PC knows this because he/she reads!” Etc. Don’t do it. If you’ve made it this far through the rant, you will by now realize that this is NOT THE ANSWER for all the reasons I’ve stated above.

So, if you want books… write them yourself in character or keep it simple. If you get a special book via an award, make it believable. Libraries? They shouldn’t exist…. not as we see them. And where they do exist, they should be small, limited, and mostly hand written diaries and journals.

[Gossamer]

DEVELOPMENT

I'm currently taking suggestions for additional Gnosis and Magic writeups. I feel like the lore needs to expand again, and part of my 2019 goals is to attempt to put out a new article each month for the Wiki. I have been urged to develop Sylir's Gnosis and Yshul's as the first project. I think perhaps I will pick Qalaya though as a first run.

My first project in magic will be Sensing which will be a Lost Discipline that will allow individuals to sense exactly what sort of magic and perhaps gnosis another character knows. I've got this about 60% done after this weekend's writing spree. Gillar and I have been hashing out what-ifs and how-will-this- work scenarios over the course of the last couple of days to see to it that this gets done. It should allow some cool Mage Hunter type PCs to exist and maybe even some ancient family lines of Sensing individuals since this will be one way you can gain the magic while skipping the initiation.

If you have any other requests or things you'd really like to see developed, let me know. Feel free to post here or send me PMs here or DMs on Discord. Also, if anyone would like to work on a project, I can help get you started if you are indeed serious.

Goss

[Hauk Tarn]

Idea for 2019: Anti-Djed(wip)

The idea is that a persons djed is somehow changed, either through corruption, divine intervention, an incredibly rare illness. The result of this Djed is the complete loss of the ability to use magic, as well as the nullification of magic on that person.

[Gossamer]

Life Is Short

Things in life matter.

And the great tragedy in life is that you don’t understand how short life really is until you start growing older and you see the end of your life is closer than the beginning of your life is. Last year was a hard year for me. I can’t tell you how many times I crawled into a Mizahar story to dodge the harsh reality of what my real life was going through. I got diagnosed with a fatal autoimmune disease, went to about ten specialists, and finally a hematologist got me on course to feel better and overturned all the previous diagnosis’. It was really rough hearing why I was exhausted all the time… then hearing that my body would attack my joints and organs and I probably had a five year lifespan.

You feel really sorry for yourself. You feel angry. Then you ignore it and pretend its not happening. And once you go through all those stages you start dealing with it. I was glad that diagnosis didn’t stick.

And when 2018 was over, I breathed a sigh of relief and thought ‘Damn… it can only get better from here.’ Lesson number one of this year was that was wrong. It can and will be worse sometimes before its better. I got news two weeks ago that shook me to the core and made me realize just how many things I take for granted. It was like 2018 all over again, only worse, because this is less uncertain and more of a ‘confirm it’ type situation. I’ve spent a week watching the sunset and the sunrises, and while I’ve always loved them and filmed them, they have more meaning now. I’ve shed a thousand tears. I’ve stopped saying ‘when I get a chance to do this…’ and instead I say ‘I’ll make some time right now to do this….’ and have done it.

I’ve talked to financial advisors and planned for extended time away from work with income so I don’t have to worry about things like mortgages and phone bills until I can get better. All that is a relief. I’m glad I can set up to do that. And I went through that whole cycle again where I felt sorry for myself, got angry, ignored it, and now I’m finally dealing with it again. Only, I am limited to how much dealing I can do with something when I’m waiting on doctors and hospital schedules and all sorts of things that are out of my control. Thankfully the Family Medical Leave Act will hold my job for a while and my company will still pay important things like my health insurance so I can carry on somewhat normally.

How will it all end? I have no idea. But it taught me something important about Mizahar. While the future of the site is in question because its so intimately linked to my own future, there are certain things I’ve learned.

Stand by the people that stand by you.

Appreciate the people that will post for you or communicate with you more than anyone you might want to build up in your head or idolize. They don’t have to be good roleplayers to be loyal. They just have to be good friends.

Hold out a hand and a welcome heart to those people that might not have time to write for Miz but still pop on chat and help new players get started between jobs and clients or waiting at bus stops or taking a break on their work shift.

Friends will show themselves in the most unexpected ways. They are the ones that even if they can’t post will tell you they are going to or what’s up preventing them from posting… and you know that regardless of how busy they are irl or what their irl circumstances are… you are in their hearts in in their thoughts. I don’t know about anyone else, but I want people to care enough that I am in their heart and thoughts like they are in my heart and my thoughts.

If someone drops a thread with you and claims it’s because they aren’t into their PC but continues to thread with others with the same PC… you can be certain they are not ones you wanted to get to know anyhow…. because they were into their PC… just not into you.

People don’t always tell the truth.

But people always act the truth if you wait long enough and watch. Don’t put time in to people that won’t give you the same courtesy. Lavish people with attention that will. Because odds are you are enjoying their company as much as they are enjoying yours. Don’t try to break into a clique just because you think its cool. The clique you want to be in is the one that during the group meetings – even if you know no one – people will scoot over and make room for you to join them. And best yet… they want to hear what you have to say.

Be the thread partner you want to roleplay with. There’s nothing wrong with the old adage ‘Do onto others as you want others to do onto you.’ Because otherwise, what the hell is the point? And lastly but not at all the very least is don’t be afraid to talk to people. Check up on them. Tell them how much they mean to you.

If you are sorry, tell them you are sorry, for whatever that is. I’m sorry right now that I’ve been sitting on a huge mod post for like two weeks and haven’t posted it… and need to go grovel to two of my friends and ask forgiveness for not doing it. My only excuse was I was hiding in Kelski again from nasty news I didn’t want to hear and scary feelings I didn’t want to feel. I hate being scared. But I hate being ‘that person’ worse… so I’ll go post and say I’m sorry and they will either understand or they won’t and we’ll all move forward.

A true apology … heartfelt and sincere… is never misplaced even if it is unwelcome. Why? Because its you trying to do the right thing… even if someone else isn’t ready to hear or see you doing the right thing.

Not all of us move on the same timeline. Its hard to understand the other person, their thought processes or their needs. Sometimes there are bigger pictures and sometimes it simply boils down to someone is an selfish bastard or bitch and no other explanation is necessary.

But never assume someone is already decided on you based on your actions or their actions unless you ask them and they confirm it. People act in anger. People respond to hurt with hurt. Its just the way life works.

But getting back to the message at the beginning of this scrap: Life is short; too short sometimes.

When I was younger, my good friend Stella had a sister which had a horrible thing happen to her. She was newly married by three years, had a toddler, and a husband that was the love of her life. He’d been feeling under the weather and she’d been overwrought with a two-year-old. She’d went and got groceries, child in tow, and had her SUV all loaded up with groceries. He’d stayed home saying he was tired. She got angry, left in a huff, and came back and demanded he carry in the groceries. He went to do so but after one trip he sat down on the couch and died.

Yea. Died. You read that right.

It turns out he had walking pneumonia and his lungs were entirely filled with fluid and he couldn’t breathe. To this day, Angel – my friends’ sister – cries when she tells this story and begs everyone to love often and understand broadly.

Today, my friend Faith lost her sister Lana to almost the very same situation…. walking pneumonia complications… and no one in either of these stories knew the people were sick – not even the people themselves. Both these people were in their late twenties and early thirties. They were alive and healthy one day, and the next they were gone.

You can’t turn back the clock or relive days you’ve already lived. Even reading this, you will only exist in this moment once.

Give everyone a fair shake. Treat them as you want to be treated. Have a care with people’s feelings and their hearts. Time is short and while you might take advantage of them being here today there’s no guarantees about tomorrow.

Mizahar is a lot like life in that its not about this thread or that thread or loving this PC of yours or loving that PC of yours better and choosing between them when you decide who to write. Mizahar is about the overall plot, the greater story, the growth and change and evolution of PCs from when we birth them out of our imaginations and what they go through getting there. Mizahar isn’t an arms race or who has the best magic items or weapons. Mizahar is about who has loyal friends and thread partners, who will stand by you through thick and thin, and who has your back in your story arc.

If you have none of that - a core group - or you aren't a core group for someone else... you aren’t playing the game in a way that it has been designed to be played. We are a social platform built for a bunch of introvert writers that would never leave their homes if they didn’t have to somehow earn a paycheck and go grocery shopping. And try to keep to the spirt of it. Be the best you can be to each other. And be honest. I promise I’ll be the same with you.

[Itt]

Hey Goss! I know this is kinda late, but if you're still considering magic write-ups, I think Reminiscience would be a fascinating magic to look into, especially since it's such a big part of the Jamoura as well as the afterlife and the history of Mizahar in general. There's a lot of potential ways to go with the concept and I think it would add a lot to the game if people were able to read up on this core aspect of the Jamoura.

It's only a suggestion but I figured it was worth mentioning!






And not to overshadowing your most recent post with some happy giddy lore ideas or anything, I don't mean it to come across like that in any way.

I am sorry to hear about your friends and about your hardships this past year or two. Those are truly tragic events. It may sound like I'm bullshitting my condolences, but I truly am sorry, and not in a pity way. I can't say that anything similar has happened to anyone I knew, so I'm not going to say I understand exactly what you're going through. But I will say that people I have known were here one day and suddenly gone the next, and what you've said makes a lot of sense.

I know I just came back after a long absence from the site, but even when I was gone I was thinking about Mizahar and looking back on the mistakes I've made here and in my life. A community writing forum where I get to write whacky characters and stories was honestly the last place I thought I would learn existential life lessons. But I felt the need to confirm what you have said and reiterate how important this is.

I don't want to steal your words, so I won't regurgitate what you've said, but I want to definitely back it up in its entirety because I have learned a lot about understanding and friendship and overall compassion from this site. I look back very fondly of all my time here because I met a lot of people who embraced concepts like confidence, passion and compassion, patience, and strength -- things I strived and currently strive for in my life. I'd like to think that I've grown as a person over the past few years, and I contribute a good portion of that growth to Mizahar in learning how to show kindness to others, giving second chances to people and myself, standing up for myself, and building relationships and friendships with others.

I've made good friends here, ones that I've basically abandoned for some time. I've made some bad relationships here too that I also abandoned. But the more I learn how important it is to "stand by the people who stand by you", as you have said, the more I longed to come back and rekindle things here, to start anew and support people like others have supported me. To give people who I labeled a second chance with hopefully cleaner eyes.

I'm not going to say I'm a good person, or even a better person now, because that's pretty much textbook bullshit. But I am different. And part of that difference is due to the people and stories on this site. And like I've said before, I was to start over and build relationships here, and help build a community here, one that will last to affect countless others, as it has me. So without further ado, I would truly like to rekindle any loose threads between us, because you are one, if not thee creator of Mizahar, and it wouldn't be right for me to try talk about changing and building relationships here without starting with the person responsible for a vast majority of Mizahar's upkeep.

I'm sorry for the times I have been two-faced in the past. I have been stupid, and inconsiderate, and outright dishonest, and I still am sometimes, because I'm not even close to perfect. I had done the things that I always told people not to do, and told myself I didn't do, which is judge people. It was and is wrong of me to do so, as I have no right to, and I would very much like to wash that judgment away. I won't claim for things to be better or perfect from here on out, but I will be damned if I don't try to be better and spread your message through my relationships and actions.

Because what you have said is important. It is important, and many people don't realize that until it's too late, so I'm going to try and not wait until then.

I'm not trying to be overdramatic or outshine you, or anything like that. Your words just spoke to me and where I'm at in my life right now and I wanted to share what I have been thinking and let you know you've been heard. I'm not just apologizing just because you've told us to apologize, and this apology is not coming from a self-conscious place, or a selfish one looking for attention. If it was self-conscious I never would have posted it and if it was selfish then I wouldn't have admitted my wrong and I would have posted this on my own scrap and generalized the shit out of it. I know I would do these things because I've done it in the past. But this is coming from me, standing in a moment in my life where I have been given a rare opportunity to take a step back and perhaps undo the burnt bridges I have made, whether they be charred or piles of ash. This is coming from me having a chance to do the things that most people say they regret not doing in their life, so I'm going to take the opportunity and run with it as far as I can.

Thanks, Jen. Thanks for making this place. Thanks for following your passions and following your heart so you could do something you love. Thanks for speaking your mind and trying to be honest with yourself and with us. Honesty, especially with one's self, is a hard thing to come by, so thanks for everything you've done, intentional or unintentional.

If you need help with anything that I could possibly help with, or want to talk or thread even, I would be more than happy to. I'm laying myself out there so you can take it or leave it.

I sincerely hope the past few weeks have been better for you and that you have things to look forward too.

Thanks, with love,

Sarah

[Gossamer]

Honesty & Integrity

Everyone is allowed their own choices. It’s part of life. Sometimes you make good choices and sometimes you make poor choices. But I’ll be honest. I’m mad as hell and probably will stay mad as hell for a long time if I give people the chance to do the right thing and they simply refuse. I get that people screw up. I screw up. And honestly, if you people knew how many people come to me that have been banned before and ask to play again that I tell ‘Sure, no problem… keep your nose out of trouble...’ you’d probably be surprised.

It’s a lot.

And its not a big deal if they come to me and be honest about shit. Its not a problem if you come to me and say you were someone else and a returning player. I don’t care. Shit happens. Thanks for the honesty. Its appreciated and I have no problems if its down the line giving you a fair shake in turn.

But if you flat out LIE to me…. then you know what? You’re a piece of shit in my book. I don’t care WHAT the reason is. And yea. That’s what happened with Savis. He flat out told me that he COULDN’T REMEMBER if he used to be DS VICE or not… a guy that was banned for flagrant abuse of the rules and cheating. If you were a DOMAIN STORYTELLER on this site, you are going to remember being a DS on this site.

And worse than that, he was… just a bit ago… on another chat for another game BRAGGING in front of one of our staffers that he was DS Vice and I had no clue. And guess what? That witness told me all about it. I don’t have a REASON to check to see if a random player is a banned player unless you give me one. But as time passed more and more stuff happened with the PC’s he was playing that was giving our staff fits, and I confronted him. Because I checked and he was.

That’s what a good admin would do.

But if you get UPSET because your friend got BANNED for flat out lying to an admin… guess what? You’re an idiot and I don’t care what you think or that you might be upset because he was your motivation for this site. Because if he’ll lie to me, he’ll lie to you. And he’ll lie to his own momma.

Think about it. How much of that ‘friendship’ is a lie? It’s a great deal like that idiot dumbass girl whose new boyfriend left his old girlfriend for her. I don’t care what the reason was. Guess what? That new boyfriend will leave you for the next greatest thing too. Why? Because he’s a douchbag. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE. You can't save him. You can't change him. You can't keep him because your the greatest thing that ever walked the earth. You think you might be the exception. But you are never going to be the exception. People are creatures of habit, and words reveal soul.

If someone will lie to me, they will lie to you in a heartbeat… IN A FUCKING HEARTBEAT.

That was his one chance to say “Yea. It was me.” And come clean. He blew it. You’re still friends? Fine by me because it’s none of my business anyhow until you start scrapping about how upset you are, even if you try to pad it by saying you understand the decision.

ITS TELLING OF YOUR CHARACTER.

Why? Because it means you care about and support people that aren’t honest. And believe me, if he can’t be honest in a moment of opportunity, then he won’t be honest the whole of the rest of his life. Granted, overall, Miz probably meant nothing to him, but it means everything to me and I’m going to protect Miz from people like that as much as I can.

So, if you want to be a drama queen and leave chat in protest or scrap about how upset you are that your good friend is gone, etc etc etc don’t be surprised if I take action accordingly. And by action that means tamping down on what you can and can’t do on this site… like GRADER STATUS or STAFF POSITIONS… etc.

And understand… I’m just being protective. Very protective. We've survived a lot of years because I've been protective. You can always move on to another site. You came from another one after all, but this is my home and I have to live here.

Because if you condone behavior like that - blatant lying - … and are still mourning something that was probably a whole lot of lies anyhow… I don’t want you doing certain things here because you are just as much in question as the person who lied.

I don’t care how much people like you. I don't care how nice you are. I don't even care if you are a good writer. I'm going to take action. I'm tired of sitting back and watching everyone cry for Savis when the guy was a shithead. Don't believe me? Just ask a staffer who had to deal with him.

We’ve already managed to get through the box code scandal where people were borrowing codes and changing them just a bit and calling them original. If you missed that one, I’m sure everyone in chat knows all about it. In a nutshell, a person was blatantly ripping off box codes from someone else and calling them original and then graciously giving permission for OTHERS to use their codes… while the original creator was sitting back saying nothing but shaking their head in disgust. I think I have it all sorted now.

But that point was… ASK PERMISSION from the original coder. Just send them a nudge and ask if its okay if you use their code. It works wonders just extending that courtesy. I do it all the time and no one has ever said no. Don’t fucking take credit where it isn’t due. Lavish credit where it is deserved. And lets just face it, most of the amazing codes on this site come from one person and one person only and if you don’t know who that is… ask around and pull your head out of the sand.

So that’s all I’m going to say about this before I go yank some grader status’ and blacklist a few people from ever joining staff. Yea. I’m that fed up and that mad and will go to that extreme because integrity IS important to me.

Goss

[Gossamer]

Tired & Grumpy

I'm tired again. I keep getting tired. I had another procedure monday which kept me off work for a few days and I'm back. And because others had to cover for my slack at work, I'm working the weekend through to give them a break. That will probably be for the next two weekends because the guys had some vacation pre-scheduled for some weekend events. No big deal. But it seriously has stymied my ability to write creatively. I'm sorry for those thread partners still waiting. Even though I'm lurking in chat, its because I'm curled up on the couch or in the hottub with the phone or laptop.

Not writing plot things has helped with wiki stuff because I can mindlessly put things in the wiki that I've been putting off even when extremely tired. I've even made leaps and bounds on a few articles I've wanted to add as well. They should roll in by the end of the month or so. I can't do anything about the tired part until after the first of the month. Then, I can get another infusion and hopefully with this last procedure that will mean the end to my troubles. I'm super excited about that.

I've had horrible amounts of stress due to car issues too. Surgery. Cars breaking down. It's been crazy. This month alone my big chameleon purple truck has lost an oil censor and threw a break cylinder. My actual run around car has been in the shop three times (for three weeks) and its not actually driveable (even though it runs great!) because out of the blue it will just start coughing and stuttering and flat out wont run and when it throws a check engine light it won't store a code. You have to pull over, shut it off for five minutes, and it starts up and takes off just as if nothing happened.

I've felt like I've been loosing my mind.

Then I give it to the mechanic and he puts hundreds of miles on it and it does nothing bad. I have it back five minutes and boom... down again. Well, its back in the shop for crapping out but it finally threw a code and they think its a super inexpensive MAP Sensor. Keep your fingers crossed. Maybe that stress will end soon too. I really just want life back to normal so I can actually start living 'normal'.

My normal is fun. My normal is awesome. My normal isn't cripplingly tired because I'm so anemic I don't even read trace iron in my blood. I deserve fun, normal, and everything being pretty damn good. We're six days to being out of Mercury Retrograde. I can taste normal. Anyone else see it on the horizon too?

Anyhow I just wanted to check in so everyone knows whats going on and why I haven't been posting with my PC or my mod. Thanks for the patience. I do love the fact that there's been so much support. A lot of the staff is experiencing pain/chronic illness right now, and its just fantastic how well the Pbase is dealing with it. Most of you players are really the greatest.

Goss

[Gossamer]

Tired & Grumpy II

I forgot to talk about grumpy. Why have I been grumpy? I'll tell you why. Even though I'm tired as fuck, not writing any IC plots, and whatnot, I am answering the Q&A forum, responding to Discussions, and taking time to elaborate on HD tickets and wherever else a Founder should be giving some input.

IF I TAKE THE TIME TO RESPOND TO YOU... PLEASE RESPOND TO THE RESPONSE.

Right? If I sit down and write a thousand or so words to carefully and thoroughly explain something or answer a question you had... its only polite to respond. Even if its with a simple 'thank you', because sometimes a response doesn't demand another thousand word response of your own. It's only polite. Society is too hooked on your way right away with politeness thrown out of the window. So if I (or someone else) gives some serious volunteer time to your situation ... show me (or them) some courtesy and respond as well.

If you do not, and chronically don't respond... I'm going to stop answering your HD tickets, adding things to your SS thread, and responding to your questions elsewhere at all. That means no approval for gnosis, no NPC approvals, no quest award prizes, etc. I'm done expecting nice and not getting it.

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I feel it is utterly rude.

Goss

[Gossamer]

From Afghanistan to the USA

We have had many friends and family who served in the military. Many of them are still over there. Matt has a special friend, Theresa, whom he has been close to for years who serves in the Army Core of Engineers and she's working on building infrastructure in Kabul. She lives and works on the base in the city and while things aren't great in Afghanistan, things are getting better.

They have an animal problem. There is virtually no vet care, no humane societies, and the lifespan of creatures in and around the city are short lived. There's virtually no education about animal wellfare, and when animals aren't useful they are cast out. But if you talk to a solider or someone in service, they will all tell you stories about how animals in these far off places have made their service stints a whole lot better. They will also tell you stories about base commanders getting tired of strays and conducting secret round ups at night where suddenly there's animals everywhere one day and the next they are all simply gone.

Gone as in dead... by bullets.

The entire Army Core office staff adopted a small stray cat. They order her food off Amazon and she roams from desk to desk getting love and affection, spending the hot days in air conditioned situations and moving from floor to floor visiting with everyone. Some people simply called her Kitty, others Princess, but the majority of them called her Cleo after Cleopatra. My husbands friend was especially close to her. Cleo would spend the entire day at her desk when Theresa is working in the office and Cleo keep her company as she worked, designed etc. This went on for quite a while until the quiet word got out that the base commander was talking about another purge. There was no where to hide Cleo. It's against Army and Core rules to even touch local wildlife even though cats and dogs seem less like wildlife and more like roaming domestic companions.

So Theresa knew there was a solution, but she had to first find someone to help her. She needed to find a permenent home that would commit to taking Cleo in the states to get her to safety. And she had a resource to do that with.

How? Because Theresa has fundraised and successfully adopted two Afghanistan dogs through Nowzad. Nowzad is a local rescue that has been doing amazing things. They first and foremost started training vets. Not only vets, but FEMALE VETS. Women don't even remotely get a chance to get good jobs on Afghanistan, so this is a win win all around. Once they had vets trained (which they do now and continue to train them), they started spaying and neutering animals around the city. Then they started a shelter and vet clinic for the animals that were roaming. A widespread vaccination program happened. And then a spay and neuter vaccine clinic (which Cleo has already taken advantage of quite a while ago) was opened. They started education programs, a huge shelter, and finally, they started helping soldiers who grew attached to animals get animals home to the states.

Here's some info from their website Nowzad.

Soldier rescues

Often when brave men and women are serving in a war zone they find themselves adopting one of the many stray dogs or cats that are struggling to survive there.

These soldiers are not only a salvation for the animal; the dog or cat are often described as 'lifelines' to their soldier, providing a respite from war, a moment of peace, home and love.

When the soldier's tour of duty comes to an end, it is unthinkable to leave their four legged comrade that they've bonded with, behind.

Our Clinic

The Nowzad ‘Conrad Lewis’ veterinary clinic is funded solely by your generous donations. We employ fully qualified Afghan national veterinarians who can now expertly perform major surgeries as required in the treatment of injured or ill animals. And we are proud to say our staff include Afghan female veterinarians, which is a ground breaking accomplishment in Afghanistan.

TNVR

Even without the large scale funding we need Nowzad is determined to prevent the unwanted dog and cat populations to be born on to the harsh streets of Kabul.

Where possible we are implementing our humane trap – neuter – vaccinate – return program and thanks to your amazing support we still freely vaccinate all cats and dogs for rabies that visit the Nowzad clinic.
For our Afghan vet team this is one of the proudest and most important aspects of their job.

Our Shelter

Nowzad proudly boasts the first official animal shelter in Afghanistan.

Our well designed and purpose built shelter in Kabul provides a safe home for over 150 dogs. We also have a purpose built cat shelter housing over 40 former street cats rescued by locals or soldiers. Our work has now extended to rehabilitating former working donkeys in a peaceful and caring environment in what is a first for Afghanistan; the Nowzad donkey sanctuary!

Anyhow... back to Cleo, Theresa, and Matt (Gillar). Matt told Theresa we'd take Cleo in a heartbeat. Why doesn't she take her? Well, first off she's on deployment over in Afghanistan. Secondly, she has a pretty cat aggressive Nowzed dog she adopted already at home and taking Cleo into that situation wouldn't work. We tend to take strays. We both work and we have no kids, and lots of room for stray cats... so of course we had to offer a place. Then we got in touch with Nowzad and through a lot of chat back and forth it was arranged that Cleo would get picked up from the base safe and sound.

She was finally picked up, just in time to miss any sweeps. She's safe at the clinic now. And as soon as we can fund raise the money needed to get Cleo to the states, we can get her home. Everyone at the office has agreed to help, and I'm hoping some Miz people and some of my irl friends will help out too. $5, $20... anything you can spare is gonna help. Nowzad has some really big donors too that keep them operating so if we can get close to half raised fairly soon (to prove we are serious) they will turn us over to some of their bigger donors and we might even get fast tracked.

When Matt first told me about Cleo my protest was 'What about Cats in the US? That money could go a long way to helping local cats.' He agreed with me, but he also reminded me of the Starfish Story I often tell... about a young boy walking along a beach picking up starfish one by one and tossing them back into the water that has retreated a long way out tidewise. People that were observing the boys activities laughed at him and told him that there were miles and miles of beaches and thousand upon thousands of starfish and that he coudln't save them all. The boy nodded his agreement and simply said "Yea I know." And he picked up another one, ran it back out to the surf, and when he returned he simply gestured at what he'd just done. "But I made a difference to that one."

Matt said Cleo was The Starfish Story. We don't know this cat. We have no vested interest in her. But she adopted a whole office building of Army Core of Engineers. She made Theresa's life so much better day in and day out. The least we could do was offer her a home.

So until we can raise Cleo's bail... we are gonna be spreading the word. She is going to be our starfish kitty. And her trip will be long and scary for her. But at the end of it, she'll find cat people that love her and a safe environment in a place where the people believe in vets, in the worth of an animal's life, and hopefully will have the support of a whole bunch of engineers and soliders who love her.

I don't ask you guys for much. But if you can donate to this cause, I'd be very very grateful.

Help Cleo By Donating

Btw... Nowzad's FB page is full of other fundraisers and stories of pups and kittens that have made it home to the States and UK safe and sound. If you want a kinda tear jerker of a read, browse it. These guys are the real deal.

https://www.facebook.com/nowzadrescue