90th of Summer, 517
Emma Chamelle starred unblinkingly from one side of the bed, while Madeira sat propped up against the wall on the other. The ghost's head was cocked to the side, her expression thoughtful.
"Are you going to die?"
Madeira tried to smile and reassure the girl that she was ok, but only half her face responded. The pull of her mouth left tiny fissures in her scorched lips and the rash crawling across her cheek . Her voice was made of burning paper and shattered glass.
"No, kitten."
"Is Mister Hyena going to die?"
“I won’t let him.”
"Oh."
The ghost leaned forward and tenderly pressed her cold hand into Madeira's forehead. The ghost's touch was uncomfortable at the best of times. But tonight, against her fever-fried skin, the cold lanced through her. Madeira gritted her teeth against a whimper as tears sprung to her bloodshot eyes.
Madeira's left leg had stopped moving several bells ago, and her neck and half her face were slowly going numb. She was stripped to her small clothes, yet her body was streaked in sweat. The cottage shivered like a mirage around her. And if she could just lift her arms and wave it away, she imagined there would be something beautiful behind it. But she didn't have the strength. There was something in her head, a little monster growing bigger every bell, that was gorging itself itself on her strength and pushing hard against the inside of her skull. She imagined it latched to her spine, sucking her dry. Her bones felt as brittle as matchsticks, her dry, aching skin was flaking off as a powder as fine as moth dust. Every wave of fever heat came with the fear that this time she would go up in flames, trapped in her tinder body.
"If you die", the little girl continued, "can I still stay with you? Raj wants to stay, too."
Emma died of an illness, Madeira recalled, and her bondmate died shortly after. She wanted to be strong and show the girl that the same thing would not happen to herself or her own bondmate, but she was unravelling at the seams. She was sick and hurt and in pain. She did not want to be strong anymore.
"Go find Jomi, kitten."
"Why?"
"Right now, please."
"What if he's mean to me?"
Madeira choked on her laugh, and dark spots skittered across the white walls like splashes of ink. The monster sucked the breath from her lungs and its claws raked the inside of her skull.
"Then tell him Maddy will kick his butt."
Reluctantly Emma began drifting away, her back fading through the stone wall. She paused and bit her lip, and when she looked up again, her big brown eyes were beseeching. But she didn't say anything. With a whisper of wind Emma vanished.
When the last wisp of the ghost girl disappeared, Madeira let herself go. Her head rolled to her chest, her neck snapping forward like a cut wire. Her body began to shake, first starting in the tips of her fingers, then rolling through her like a rough sea. Allister ran through her mind, and behind him ran her guilt. She was suppose to look after him. She promised to look after him! He was sick and in pain, and just knowing that caused the moisture in her eyes to spill over. Allister, Emma and Jomi were all her responsibility and she could do nothing.