l've had great times with thread partners, and I've had miserable times with thread partners over the years. This last year has been especially a rough one. I compiled a list, during this weeks hard hard work week, of all the 'rules' I think apply to being a good thread partner. I did this partially for myself as well, since I haven't been posting at all due to just massive amounts of work. I like rules. I like guidelines. I like thinking about all the things I really feel I need in life to be happy thread-wise. Do you have ideas that aren't on this list? Feel free to add to them by commenting below.
The Rules For Thread Partners
1. Don’t wait for your A+ posting moods so you can be the best thread partner ever. Just post. Suck it up and do it. People understand that you aren’t going to be an award-winning writer each and every time. They are just grateful to get replies. And frankly if you are a great writer and give them a mediocre reply, they’ll be grateful on a number of levels. First and foremost, because you are human and are lowering the bar a bit. It’s okay to lower the bar. People don’t actually need the stress of being 100% on point all the time. Think of it as a gift… you are gifting them with a post. Give lots of gifts.
2. Don’t be afraid of their crazy ideas or moods… or lack thereof. Support them. Roll with it. Who knows… you might have fun! Conversely don’t be afraid to share your crazy ideas with them. Who knows? Maybe this crazy is something they share with you already.
3. Be brutally honest and heart-wrenchingly warm. It’s the carrot and stick of the literary world. If they have stick or a carrot, equally love them. Don’t turn from them or only expect warmth 24/7. That’s not a true writing partnership. Take the good with the bad.
4. Always be the escape so that they don’t need a Deus Ex Machina in your group efforts. And conversely let them be your escape if your write yourself into a corner. That’s what partners are for.
5. Let them take the spotlight on equal terms to you taking the spotlight. If it is their moment, their thread, their deepest darkest pain… let them have it. Don’t steal it from them by claiming the moment for yourself.
6. Be sure to acknowledge what they do in terms of actions and react to them. How does your PC feel about what they just did? Was it an amazing kick or was there desperation infused into their smile? Try to feature their actions in your replies and they will hopefully reciprocate by featuring your actions in their replies - so the collective thread is about everyone involved and not just about you or them. As we move through the day, each person we encounter garners a reaction from us… either internal or externally. Make sure your PC mimics this reality in your writing. React. Each post should be something of a mini report card.
7. Communication is critical. Talk to your thread partner. Let them know what’s going on both IC and OOC. If you are truly too busy/sick/uninspired to post, take five minutes and tell them. But don’t tell them daily ad naseam because then you are just whining and it gets truly old. And truthfully people will start leaving your partnerships because of guilt or powerlessness when your health is involved. They don’t need to know your life story, but a brief explanation is always good. If you are growing bored with the thread, same case. If you don’t like their responses… talk to them about it. If the font is too hard to read, the size too small, the color not contrasted enough, etc.
8. Don’t lie to a thread partner. Always be straight up. If something makes you uncomfortable, be sure you let them know. If you absolutely love something, share it with them. Don’t be afraid of judgement. If you get it, move on.
9. Please don’t promise thread partners one thing then do the exact opposite. There’s nothing that shatters trust faster. Breaking trust will absolutely ruin your thread partnership forever. If you want something to happen, and its YOUR idea, keep to it. Don't change your mind.
10. Don’t reveal your thread partner’s secrets. If they tell you a secret, they are invoking a sacred trust. Take it to your grave! Expect the same of them. If they spill a secret, never trust them again.
11. Don’t be afraid to expose your needs and vulnerabilities to your thread partner. Make sure they understand what you need out of the thread and what you don’t want out of a thread. And in return make damn good and well sure you find out what their needs are as well. Sometimes no one needs anything. They just want mindless fun. Mindless fun is a need. Roll with it. If you don’t have a need, then you shouldn’t be threading. Have needs.
12. Never abandon a thread partner. Just don’t do it. Never tell them you are too busy, you’ve lost interest, etc. Make the time to log on and finish threads off and clean up. Regret is a hell of a thing and if you bail on partners, you will regret it.
13. Help your thread partner celebrate their successes and learn lessons from failures in equal measures.
14. Establish things that are only ‘yours’ together. That could mean sayings, quirky expressions, nicknames, singular looks, or little mannerisms that are tells to each other or even codewords. These things deepen IC friendships.
15. Figure out how to make your thread partner happy/laugh/smile. Then do so with abandon without minding that you might be judged for it by other readers.
16. Notice changes in your thread partners – new magic items, haircuts, attitudes, clothing, and make sure you make them understand ic that you’ve noticed.
17. Be the go-to-guy they want to run too when nothing is right. If you are the first one they turn to in order to celebrate when things are going amazingly well also… then you are doing things right.
18. Put the job ‘wing man’ to shame when it comes to your thread partner. You should sluice out all their evil plans and be fully supportive of them if given the opportunity… or at least projectingly supportive of them and go along anyhow to make sure they don’t get themselves killed.
19. Always be there to give your thread partners (IC and In Chat) advice, chocolate, or buy them a beer depending… you know the situation; know the response.
20. You always keep their secrets absolute secrets. If they trust you enough to tell you a secret, its to help lighten their load… not for you to become the town gossip.
21. Keep your partnership balanced. Take as much as you give and vice versa. Don’t be the needy one 24/7 or the one that’s always confessing and needing help out of a situation. Those tropes are truly overdone in literature.
22. Respect your thread partner as a person, not as a bank account, a tittle, a position, or what they can do to elevate your own standing in your own scenario.
23. Take criticism graciously. Your thread partner is putting themselves out there to let you know something you are doing might not please them. This could be content, action, grammar, almost anything. At least have the balls or ovaries to accept that criticism graciously.
24. Don’t hog your thread partner. Advertise them to others if they are a fantastic partner. Share that wealth among the community and don’t get resentful if your thread partner posts for others and enjoys others equally.
25. The best most important advice for thread partnering and actually in game friendships/partnerships/relationships is to be the person you want to thread with. It’s really just as simple as that.