[The Midnight Gem] Darkness And Light (Kynier)

[Kelski]

Kelski knew she’d made a mistake as his gentle strokes on her back ceased at her question. There were so many lines in the sand in relationships with humans and she never knew what was too much, too soon, or something that should never be crossed, unearthed, or asked about. She felt him tense and take a half step back, distancing himself from her. She read in his hazel gaze how much he didn’t want to tell her this and how there were some secrets he’d like to keep close always.

What surprised her is how he said it wasn’t completely unrelated. What? The Kelvic furrowed her brow, trying to guess at what he was going to say even as he pulled her with him into the bedroom and showed her something.

Kelski wasn’t the type to go through his things. If Kynier left something opened or books stacked together, she’d never read what the pages said, or even glance at the spines of the books. They were his things and that was that. She didn’t have an overly nosey personality except when it came to things that made him upset in his sleep. She thought the question would be welcomed and some teaching explanation would happen, wherein he’d push the evils of magic and its corruptible nature more than usual. This, however, was a whole different gemstone than she expected and the Kelvic listened intently.

He began to recite a story and Kelski settled on the edge of the bed to listen. She wasn’t sure what he was going to tell her, but it wasn’t the picture he eventually painted for her. The Sea Eagle had no idea what a lynching mob was, but it didn’t sound good. She knew Sunberth hated mages. The burning festival was one of those key examples and there were countless other examples as well. Even the market had stalls that sold cheap tin jewelry shouted to ‘ward off evil mage eyes’ and the like. But she’d never seen a ‘mob’ hunting a mage. Lynching… there was that word again. Kelski tilted her head, listening intently, sure an explanation would be forthcoming.

The scene Kynier painted for her unfolded before her eyes and it drove home the fact of how human Kynier was. Humans did violence first and thought of solutions later. Kelski would have hidden the mage in the shadows, would have redirected or caused a diversion, or would have even defended the mage and scared the crowd if there were time or opportunity. Maybe there was no time for any of that and he’d done the best he could do. But murdering like that? It was so very human. They killed not to eat and not for survival or territory, but for the most astonishing things like fear of the unknown.

She watched him grow more and more upset, collapsing even in sobs that seemed somehow out of place on the mage’s usually stoic face. Kynier buried his hands in his face as Kelski tried to understand something. Her eyes shifted from Kynier’s distraught features to the book on the desk and then back to Kynier. She quietly waited out the storm of emotion, uncertain how to deal with it. Should she comfort him? He was fairly busy blaming himself for Murder, and yet Kelski couldn’t see how it was any different than any of the other times Kynier had killed. He didn’t reveal the contents of the book – something Kelski assumed was probably deemed by Kynier unsafe for her to know – nor did he explain how he knew what he knew about the stranger whose name he knew.

She had never heard of hypnotism, lynch mobs, or anything else he was talking about, but it all felt a little like he’d gotten himself into something he didn’t know how to get out of and was overwrought by guilt. Kelski wasn’t sure how to react. It sounded like his own human nature and curiosity had gotten him in trouble and now he regretted his actions passionately. She should comfort him, kneel down and hold him, but an anger was growing in her again… one The Gem was having a hard time soothing.

“It sounds like a fine mess. I’m sorry it’s keeping you up at night, Kynier. But I don’t know how this man… this Aidren… is any different than anyone else you’ve cut the throat of in this city. I know there’s been a lot of blood on your hands. They all weren’t guilty, even the ones trying to cut your throat before you cut theirs. I don’t think you can blame a hungry creature for hunting those weaker than itself and trying to take what belongs to the weaker in order to survive… be it flesh, coin, or even the shoes on one’s feet. Your people consider mine animals, but we have always thought of you as incredibly violent and dangerous. How is this any different? Why is this man any better than the others? Is it just because you know his name? Have his book? Maybe you could have done something different…. maybe saved him… maybe not. Maybe he would have treated you better if the situation was reversed, but it was not. It is because of actions like this that Sunberth will never change, never grow…”

Kelski said softly, shaking her head from her perch on the side of the bed where she watched him but didn’t offer him comfort. She didn’t have comfort for him after his words. It wouldn’t help anyhow. The only thing that could comfort him was a dead man evidently forgiving him. Was he right? She often thought of humans as monsters. Akajia knew she related better to the shadows and other Kelvics than Kynier’s race. But Kynier wasn’t the same as his race, not on a whole, just in parts, and those parts didn’t have to be as they were.

The Kelvic didn’t correct him though. She didn’t deny that he was a monster or say what he said wasn’t true. She had no idea of the truth of his words, only that he believed them and that was enough to lend them credibility with her.


She tried to figure out why he cried. Did his tears actually serve a purpose? They seemed more a release of tension and pent up sorrow than anything else. Kelski rarely cried and when she did it was more than likely because a toe-nail had just come unseated from the bed it grew on due to being jammed under a door or something equally frustrating and painful like a hand accidentally in the forge. Events rarely made her cry. Even Darvin hadn’t. Darvin had made her feel empty. Why wasn’t Kynier empty? She strained to understand, using all of her observation and logic to try and see what he was going through. But there was still a gap there, a huge disconnect…. one Kelski struggled to understand.


She had to say something more… something to comfort him. “I’m sure you did the best you could have done, Kynier. It sounds… aweful and monstrous… but I wasn’t there. I can’t judge by just your words because you were just viewing things from your eyes. I don’t know what other factors existed or what other options were open to you. I do know it sounds like you need to make peace with this.” She said softly, thoughtfully, wondering how long ago this was. It wasn’t recent was it? She asked very little about Kynier’s work though she knew he worked or was a puppet for powerful people willingly. She always trusted him to do the right thing and not endanger any of them through his actions.

Maybe she was a fool for being like that. Maybe her love for Kynier blinded her. But she trusted him and that in the end was what she said.

“I trust you Kynier. I think you did the best you could do in the circumstances you found yourself in. You are smart and driven, and if you found no other option then there most likely wasn’t one. All you can do is be better from now on, learn from that man’s death, and make sure it isn’t repeated if you can help it.” Kelski said, thoughtful and alert to his needs, but not sure if he wanted comfort not now.

“It’s a lot like I was speaking of earlier. This city won’t change if we all keep doing things the way everyone has always done them…. violence, murder, revenge. If we want it to be better, we need to do things a better way… myself included.” Kelski said softly, watching him with her silver eyes gone dark and thoughtful.

Though it was so tempting to go even against her own words and start killing the Sun’s Birth. Kelski walked a thin line always, throwing herself into her new business to avoid doing what she actually wanted to do … that is… wander the streets and hunt her enemies. Sunbirth had affected her in negative ways…. very negative ways. And in some ways was still affecting her. Kynier looked like he wasn’t immune either.

[Kynier]

The grief had been festering for some time and had gnawed at his subconscious. So once it took form in his tears it seemed to want to come in a torrential outpour. Kynier tried to choke it off and end it. But it was difficult. Only when Kelski began to speak after a considerable silence had his sobbing begun to die off. Focusing on her words distracted him from the grief. And though she spoke softly, what she said… Kynier ran the words through his mind, trying to understand what it was she was really saying. Initially, it sounded as though it was accusatory in calling him a repetitive murder. And that it was because of people like him that Sunberth was the way it was.

Kelski didn’t leave her perch but kept a distance between the two of them. It made the environment around him feel cold in the silence that followed her words. Only a few times in his life had Kynier been like this. Never before was the possibility of the comfort that only Kelski could’ve provided yet didn’t available. Leaving Him to speak words of advice or give a lesson to be learned from whatever happened. But that voice had fallen silent despite Kynier sometimes feeling His presence still. And Kelski’s words had an undertone of harshness to them. Like so many times in his youth when Bourin spoke to him in a similar fashion, Kynier withdrew into himself. All his emotions were collected and repressed as though they were imploding in his body. His sobs ceased and the tears followed suit.

Hazel eyes did not seek out Kelski but floated off to peer at nothing in the room. A still coldness filled them as a hand rested on his knee as the other braced itself against his temple with the elbow on his other knee. What she said echoed in his mind as he tried to understand her meaning. That Aidren was somehow no different from the other people who had died at his hand? That humans, and him, were especially violent and dangerous. That perhaps Aidren would’ve acted differently for him. That Kynier… had acted as she would’ve expected a Sunberther to have acted.

As he finished his thoughts she continued. Words that were supposed to provide comfort left her lips, but it seemed forced. Like she was searching for things he would want to hear. It would’ve been more effective had she said nothing and just came close to do something as simple as place a hand on his knee or his shoulder. Affections from her touch carried such weight for him, but none of that was provided here. Kelski had asked what had been bothering him, and he told her. Instead of help… she sat there.

Leaving him alone.

Kynier felt the sincerity when she spoke of her trust in him. The rest of it was harder to gauge. His brow became pointed and thoughtful. Never did she offer that he wasn’t a monster in the way she saw humanity as a whole. Only that they could be better by doing things in a different way. For the better part of a season that was exactly what had plagued him. What could he have done differently? Try as he might, there just didn’t seem to have been anything he could’ve done differently apart from leaving Aidren to have fended for himself. But that in itself wouldn’t have been an action different from Kynier’s standard.

As her silver eyes grew dark and thoughtful, his finally rolled over to study her. Kynier never knew any kelvics before her but had heard tales about them. What little he remembered of his parents, they were kind people. Bourin was an eypharian. So Kynier had never received the impression that humans were superior to other races. From the first moment he saw her, he knew she wasn’t human, but had seen her as a person. All her stories of how Kelvics were designed to serve, Kynier still didn’t adopt those viewpoints in how he expected her to act. Yet here, he could truly see that she saw herself superior to humans. Except for magic and devotion to their Night Mother, he had always seen her as an equal and tried to treat her like one. Now he wondered if she ever had similar thoughts about him.

After a long pause of silence, Kynier wiped his face of the moisture that had gathered upon it. Quietly he stood up and set a hand on the silver book upon the desk. From how she had spoken, the only thing he clearly understood was that she didn’t understand why Aidren’s death bothered him. Memories of previous conversations together rolled around in his mind. From his time with Bourin he learned that sometimes the only way to make a person understand something was by using that person’s own words to describe it. And there was only one way he could make Kelski understand. If she still didn’t, then he probably never could get her to.

“What makes Aidren different?” he said with a dull detached tone. “That night happened before I came to the Midnight Gem. And something you said that day is the only way I can describe why his death is different from all the other… murders… that I’ve committed.” Kynier turned his head and met her eyes. “Aidren, was the first starfish. And I did worse than fail him.” Turning back to the silver book, he ran his fingertips around the corners of the binding. “I’ve only glimpsed the first few pages of this book. It speaks of Aidren’s goddess who had marked him. And this is his blood on the cover. Somehow… it felt wrong to leave the book behind.”

Kynier lifted the book from the desk’s surface and carefully set it back on the shelf, placing it under the other books as it had been before. At his core, Kynier felt scorn for himself for his emotional breakdown. But it had happened. The best he could do was make it have a purpose. “This is the danger of knowing magic in Sunberth, Kelski.” He turned around and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I wanted to hold onto Aer’wyn’s journal for this reason. Auristics and Shielding are both subtle and difficult to notice unless people know to look for the signs. But something like Morphing… Anyone that sees magic will shout out ‘Mage’ as loud as they can. Everyone that hears it will come running with anything they can use as a weapon. And in an instant the whole city will turn on you, all because of their own fear. Fighting or trying to scare off the mob with magic would only intensify their reasoning.”

Kynier looked at her pointedly. He assumed that she had read enough of Aer’wyns journal the she could still begin practicing. “Morphing to look human is your choice. And I’ve never found your appearance unnerving, and would prefer to see you as you are. But it scares me to think of you walking out the door using it. What happens if you’re at the market and you begin to overgive? That you exhaust your djed and… and… your lips or… your nails… return to normal as you’re talking to someone?” Kyiner paused to let the idea of the scenario linger in the air. “The other disciplines are less subtle and their uses must be done after much more consideration.”

Kynier began to pace as his eyes fell to the floor. He shook his head as he spoke, “I know that I’m worrying about things prematurely. And it’s not my place to stop you or suggest you stop.” He paused to look at her. “So… please… be careful. I couldn’t bear to lose you.” He words were filled with tenderness and spoken from the heart.

Suddenly he felt very tired. The efforts of the basement project and the emotional drain of their conversation were sapping him though he didn’t feel ready to sleep yet. After a brief pause he looked up at her. There were other things he wanted to discuss more in-depth with her. The idea of Kelvics not having souls being one of them; for that just seemed like an impossibility based off everything that he knew. The other was this idea of trying to do things differently to change the city. Kynier wanted to agree with that, but he knew that such changes would meet resistance. There were also of course the questions she still had that remained unasked. So he would leave her the choice.

“Where there any questions about magic that you still wanted to ask tonight? Or would you rather speak on something else?”

Boxcode credit goes to Gossamer!

[Kelski]

Things were changing between them. Kelski could feel it as she watched him, still at a loss for what she could do for him. Relationships were hard, harder than they probably needed to be. If she could bond with him, they’d certainly understand each other better. Or would it be that she’d simply loose herself in him and become whatever he needed her to be? Isn’t that what her race was designed to do? Kelski watched him quietly and cautiously, having said what was on her mind and in her heart, but not seeing any comfort or softening in him at her words. What would another human offer him? Kelski had no clue, though she tried and rejected a hundred scenarios.

She was of no true help, and she knew it acutely. Her question had opened a festering wound inside of him, exposed it to the light, and made things worse instead of offering healing. The Kelvic drew her legs up, rested her chin on her knees, and wrapped her arms around her legs. If she knew what he was thinking – thinking she felt superior to him – she would have been truly distraught.

Kelski had lived her whole life as a slave to humans, passed from one to another as if by whim, only winning her freedom when her Advalas master had been killed, then later winning her freedom once more through hard work here in Sunberth. Humans had never treated her well… not until Lhavit and Master Li. Her jewelcrafting Master had taught her that some people could be good and should be emulated. Kynier had reinforced that thought with her. She’d never thought of humans as inferior to Kelvics… not once. It was too ingrained in her to serve them.


But then again, he’d never asked her. And she’d been taught from a very young age not to share her opinions with others unless directly asked. She was slowly working out of that habit, but it was a habit that was hard learned even as a child.


Kynier had more to say and Kelski thought about his words carefully. Aidren was the first starfish? Kelski had told Kynier the starfish story, one she’d learned in Lhavit or Alvadas when she was younger. It was about a boy who decided even if he couldn’t change the lives of a big group he could at least affect the life of individuals. Kynier must have decided then and there, at meeting Aidren, that he should affect Aidren’s life even if he couldn’t change all … what mages… lives? Kelski looked thoughtful, watching Kynier as he paced, thinking further on what he said even as he added more to it.

Kelski nodded at what Kynier said about Aidren’s book. Then she watched him return it to the shelf.


Then the Kynier she knew and loved resurfaced.

He paced, looking at her, dismissing his own grief and turning the whole thing into yet another reason why magic was dangerous and what could happen if she became a mage. He stressed her inability to probably do it right, loosing control or slipping up in public when she was using it. They were things Kelski hadn’t thought of and as she watched Kynier pace back and forth she realized he truthfully thought she couldn’t do any of it. Or at least he thought she couldn’t learn it well enough to do it right.

Was that true?

She hadn’t progressed much on any of the magic she knew because she’d promised him she would not. And she’d kept that promise. It felt like a collar around her neck, like he was holding her back more than he was trying to encourage or tutor her. Sure, he offered to help, said he’d teach her, and definitely agreed to give her answers to questions, but how could she ask questions without planting more doubt in his mind? Any question she’d ask would lend itself to give him more validity to his doubts. And maybe he was right. Wouldn’t he see her questions as weakness? He would look down on her for not understanding things that to him were simple concepts.

This night had been useless. This talk had done nothing but hurt him and while she’d learned why he was experiencing nightmares, she’d also learned he had as little faith in her now as he had last season when she’d made him all the promises. What did she say to that? How could she counter his arguments when there was no evidence to support he was wrong because he’d yoked her too tight to even try to learn? The Kelvic gave a shiver and gathered her legs even closer, her silvery eyes filled with her pain as she listened.

Maybe it was true that her race was incapable of certain things and Kynier just hadn’t had the heart to tell her. He wrapped it all up – all the criticism - in a neat bundle of concern. But she felt no love from it. It felt more restraining than encouraging. What ifs crossed her mind and she shivered again, closing her eyes briefly and asking herself yet again why it was all so important and why she just couldn’t walk away from it. She needed to walk away. Even all the things Ember had told her about her family didn’t matter so much now that she realized Kynier was absolutely convinced she’d do nothing but screw up what should be simple things… like changing hair color, eye color, or the severity of her nails. Kelski glanced down at her hands, studying her nails, and shrugged. They weren’t that bad. She’d always had them. Did they need to be changed? No. He was right.


Leave the magic to humans.

Through all his words, the Kelvic said nothing. She simply perched like a child on the edge of the bed, knees up, arms wrapped around her legs hugging them to her torso, and her chin resting on her knee-caps. Her eyes were emotive, but the things that flashed through them were rapid fire until they settled into a neutral expression that only softened when he asked her to be careful.

Kelski didn’t truthfully know what to say. She’d asked him a question, he’d told her, and then they’d moved on. She didn’t miss the fact that he’d called himself a murder, but Kelski didn’t think self defense was murder. Murder was murder. But did her opinion matter? It wouldn’t change Kynier’s mind on things. He’d still think how he always thought… and if that’s what he thought, that’s what he thought.

“You are right. It’s dangerous. I won’t do anything to endanger myself or anyone here, ever.” She said finally, deciding once and for all that this continued argument and strain between them wasn’t worth learning something that he felt she had no business knowing in the first place. That would soothe him, right? She’d give it up. It didn’t matter anyhow. How would it change who she was or what she was? She’d just work harder in the workshop, bring in income for everyone, and work on getting stronger physically and mentally. If Sunberth hated mages, maybe it was time she listened to why.

Maybe that sort of collar wasn’t a bad thing. Maybe it was time she accepted it and just let things go. Previously he’d already given her all sorts of warnings on Auristics, and Farris had told her plenty about Shielding that Kynier had evidently told him. Human to human. Kelski would have bowed her head had she not had her chin propped on her knees.

That was perhaps the whole problem.

She wasn’t human.

Truthfully no amount of physical alterations would make her human. And she didn’t want to be one anyhow. They’d taught her too much bad about their race. Her being Kelvic was the only reason Kynier had let her close, and even then, he found her lacking. What did it matter anyhow? Who did she have to prove things to? Herself? No…

The Gem suddenly flooded her again, as if it had been watching, listening, and absorbing all that had gone through her head. It was angry and she wasn’t sure why. The building was practically seething with anger, though it controlled it well. Kelski reached out her awareness to lock firmly onto its’ intelligence and read it like a book the moment she actively touched it with her mind. No more magic meant it would be abandoned. Kelski would leave it. It would be alone and it didn’t want to be alone.

The Sea Eagle flooded the link with her caring, her interest, her need to connect with it. Reassurance flooded the link and the Kelvic tried to wrap it in a blanket of love and comfort of the same sort she herself needed – perhaps like Kynier needed – and firmly without a doubt convince it she would never abandon it. Their link wasn’t a magic Kynier had warned her of. It wasn’t something he had said she would be bad at. Sure the book was hidden and she’d made sure no eyes could read it, but The Gem was like her child and she would never simply cut it off to fend for itself. Kelski hadn’t given Kynier a chance to be critical of her actions with The Gem. She simply couldn’t have stood it if he had been. The Kelvic never hid things from the building – fearing its judgement – but had always remained wide open so it could feel what she felt, see what she saw, and understood as she understood things.

Sometimes that was too much information. The Midnight Gem could see a lot and deeply into Kelski’s heart. It knew all the joys she took from all the things that made her happy. It saw all the hurts too and felt the scars on the Kelvic’s soul. It wasn’t growing, however, to be like Kelski. It was slowly growing into its own as something utterly independent. And it didn’t just accept Kelski’s conclusions from Kynier’s words. Nor did it like the way the Kelvic just accepted that she wasn’t ever going to be good enough to do what the mage did in the mage’s eyes.

It could see all the broken pieces in the linked Kelvic’s soul and it saw too why she was having so much trouble bonding physically. The abuse from humans, the rejection and criticism, the inferior feelings that were constantly reinforced all contributed to it. Kelvics needed to feel they had something to offer another. Kelski didn’t feel she had anything at all worth an investment in except providing a roof. And didn’t The Gem provide that anyhow? Not actually the kelvic?

The Gem’s form of intelligence wasn’t based on passion and the wants and needs of a fleshy body so it could see things more clearly at times than Kelski could even if it was only just awakening. In many ways its sentience was more inclusive, less restrictive, as it watched the world flow past it and the seasons change. It wasn’t very old, not now, but it came from ancient stock and part of that wisdom was granted to it through the seed that was gifted into its making. And it wanted to help the mage that had created it, even if she didn’t seem to want it.

So The Gem made a conscious choice and settled itself more firmly into Kelski’s mind, sending threads of power that crawled in and took up residence where it could share thoughts and newly formed emotions with her. Kelvics didn’t like to be alone. It didn’t like to be alone either since that was something it’d learned from Kelski. By snuggling up in her brain, eavesdropping openly into her mind, it could occupy space that a bondmate’s link normally would. It could sooth a sharp constant pain Kelski hadn’t even realized she bore. It was nothing for The Gem to fill up the huge void in the Kelvic, something others had always rejected and dismissed. And it did so gladly, happily, returning the Kelvic’s love and gratitude and feelings of need for it to always be here.


Kelski blinked in surprise, then blinked again in gratitude, feeling better somehow, stronger, more soothed and more stable than she had just moments ago. She didn’t pretend to understand what happened, but things didn’t seem so dismal now suddenly. She took a deep breath and realized a constriction in her chest was gone, one she hadn’t even known was there. And wondered why she’d been so lonely even moments ago staring at the man she loved yet felt so far apart from.

He looked tired as she focused on him. He looked like he had been working too much, sleeping too little, and probably not eating right. Kelski slowly lifted her chin off her knees and sat up a bit straighter, watching him as he stopped pacing and turned to her.

“No… I don’t have any more questions on magic, Kynier. I think you’ve finally gotten it through my head that its not something I should be perusing.” His examples of what she would do, what would happen, hit home hard. “I get ahead of myself and think I can do anything I want, but its simply not true. I understand that. I’m not sure why I am… so headstrong and stubborn about things… but I am sorry I worry you. I’ll leave it to you and work on other things that are more fitting for my kind. There is plenty to do anyhow and I do have plans that extend beyond being a jeweler. I’m not the best jeweler I can be anyhow… and won’t be anytime soon so that’s what I should focus on. I’m sorry I forced this talk on you. You shouldn’t have to tell me these things over and over again before I understand. I apologize for not seeing things as you do sooner.” She admitted, feeling bad for indeed being part of the cause of him being so strung out looking.

Kelski was sincere on what she was saying. This whole battle between them, the constant tug of war, was wearing on her and she wanted it to end. If it meant her giving up on certain ideas, then it wouldn’t be a first in her life. She didn’t want Kynier to lose any more respect for her than he already seemed to have lost and she didn’t know how to win any back other than conform to his wishes. They lived in a human world. Who else to navigate it better than a human, right? She couldn’t change what she was and it was stupid to even think that she could blend in or that she’d even want too.

The absolute truth was she didn’t want a life without Kynier. And a life with Kynier meant she had to take his wants and needs into consideration, even putting them ahead of her own. She hadn’t done much of that lately in favor of pushing getting the business up and running, making sure it was successful, and doing all the things that needed to be done to get Goldfinger’s loan paid off. That was a huge regret for her. One she wanted to remedy if she could.

Kelski unfolded her long bare legs and slipped off the bed. She came to stand in front of him and study him with a head tilted slightly to the side. “I’m sorry about Aidren. I didn’t understand. I don’t think you are a murder. I wish you wouldn’t call yourself that. I said you slit people’s throats because I know you have. I’ve been there and killed too. I’m not hypocritical enough to say it was thought ahead killing. I know it was self defense. If that man was a good man like you think he was, then he has to somehow somewhere understand his death was necessary for your life. And you have to live with that tradeoff, Kynier. Someday my death or your death may be necessary for someone else’s life. And if that happens, its something I would understand.” She said firmly, studying him, trying to comfort him in her inhuman way. There was no accusation in her voice, no blame in her gaze. He might be past his eruption of grief, but the vision of him sobbing and her having no idea what to do about it was still very fresh in her mind.

She wouldn’t mention magic to him again, not in this conversation or any of the other ones to follow. Instead she’d focus on him. He had been long enough ignored and taken for granted without acknowledgement.

“And I’m sorry I’ve been…. neglecting you. I know I have very little time sometimes and I will make it a point to be better, try harder, to be around when you need me.” She affirmed, trying to show him she did care.

[Kynier]

Standing there, he watched Kelski’s expressions and reactions to the things he said. The way she enveloped herself told him that what he was not having the desired effect. She was retreating inward as he had done. For her eyes would display so many thoughts and emotions before they ultimately took a neutral impression. Why was this so hard? There was a common ground to be found somewhere and yet it was constantly eluding them. He was trying to step back and be less in her way. To allow the Kelvic to make her own decision. Perhaps what he really needed to do was let her make the mistakes and learn from them.

Then he saw it in her eyes. A sort of surprise realization she uncovered from her trail of thoughts. Kynier could see the change in her body language. It wasn’t relaxation but somehow Kelski appeared less tense. She looked at him. Not with a quizzical expression, confusion, or even the anger she demonstrated earlier. Kelski really looked at him, with eyes absent of criticism. What did she just realize? He held his breath as she began to speak. And what the Kelvic said truly left him breathless. Kelski would… is... going to stop pursuing magic?

No…

That wasn’t what he wanted. It wasn’t what he had been trying to tell her all this time. What… He listened to what she said next and understood the reasoning a little. That there were other things she could or should spend more time focusing on instead of magic. As though she were perhaps trying to stretch herself too thin with her pursuits. That she had goals that didn’t involve magic that she had wanted to accomplish. And it made him sad because she still didn’t see things as he had. Kynier opened his lips to rebuke her proclamation… but then closed them instead.

Kelski didn’t hear the true message he had been trying to give. He felt drained and she was finally appearing to have found some sort of peace with what to do in regards to magic. To try and encourage her now would only… it would probably fracture their understanding and relationship. No. He needed to contemplate what it was he had actually said so that later when he would try and convince her to not give it up, he wouldn’t make the same mistakes.

Her movement caught his eye and brought him back from the recesses of his own thoughts. She came and stood before him, head slightly tilted in that Kelski fashion of hers. Unlike before he could hear the sincerity of her words as she spoke them. That she didn’t consider him a murderer. That he needed to somehow find peace with the situation. And though the idea of her death scared him more than anything he had ever known, the mention of them trading their lives out of necessity for something else was strangely comforting.

For in truth, Aidren hadn’t cursed him or questioned him. There was shock and fear in the eyes but no trace of malice. Maybe the hypnotist did understand what she had said. That somehow he acknowledged that Kynier had at least tried to save him. Was it possible that Aidren’s words about the short sword’s hidden magic was a sort of gift of thanks? That was hard to believe. Kynier did not think that he himself would’ve been able to have that sort of clear thought when run through with a weapon. But then again… very few people thought the way he did.

Then she apologized for… neglecting him? Bafflement filled his eyes as he gazed upon her. Was that…? After her disappearance she had been withdrawn and difficult to converse with. Getting words from her often felt like a struggle until she had come back from the Temple encounter with Farris. And it wasn’t until Ember and the initiation of the Architectrix that Kelski seemed to become herself again. Initially he hadn’t though she was neglecting him. But in hindsight, she had been obsessing over the Midnight Gem. Kynier had let her because it had been rejuvenating her spirit. But they really hadn’t spoken about things, like Aer… Vel’s departure. It was probably half the reason for his efforts in the basement when he really thought about it.

Yet she promised to give him more. More time. More attention. When in fact she often sought him out when she needed a few chimes or even a bell away from her workshop. And she would give him more? Selfishly he desired that very much. Kynier wanted her bond and to experience life with her. For some reason that was denied to them… for the moment… yet both of them were trying hard not to be resentful of that. Whatever she gave he would always gladly accept. Even her words stuck with him as he always tried to remember as much of what she said as possible. Some things were easier to remember than others, and tonight’s conversation would be among them.

More tears wanted to come forth but he bit them back. Even if they were tears of pleasure, he was through with crying. Kelski almost never shed tears due to emotions. Almost. That he was the emotional one between them was unnerving. Kynier took the few steps it required to close the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. His body was filled with tension as he held her close, hands grasping at her opposite shoulders from around her back. But on his next exhale, he pulled her in tighter against him and the tension left his body.

Kynier’s cheek rested against her head. His next breath was louder than normal and followed with a kiss against her brow. “I feel that I always need you, my Feather.” If it were possible he squeezed even tighter. Wanting to be one with her than just with her. “You give me strength when I feel that I have no more. And I always keep you with me. Not just in my heart. The lock of hair you gave me… I still carry it everywhere. Though I see you every day… when I’m out there I hold it in my hands at least once. I dare not consider what type of existence I would have if I had never gone to the Temple that night in early spring. Because I know it couldn’t have as much happiness as this life, with you, gives me.”

In truth, he didn’t care so much if Ren, Ebon, or Ember gave him any acknowledgment for his efforts. They were not the ones he shared his secrets with, though they did know a few. And it was exhausting for him to do everything he had been trying to do for the Midnight Gem and those within it. That he constantly had to replace the shields he set around and within the structure that no one could see. Shields that provided protection from flooding, fires, and even ghosts thanks to Anja’s lessons. As well as his efforts to keep Ashara, the spymaster, appeased enough to leave them alone. In addition to trying to stay informed of theft patterns and extortion schemes. To protect the Midnight Gem from the indirect threats of the citizens. Guards could be hired for the conventional threats, but until one was available it rested on both Kynier’s and Kelski’s shoulders to keep the others safe.

Kynier relaxed his hold and stepped away only far enough to return again. Setting his lips against her with the emotion passion he held for her as he cupped the nape of her neck. The feeling of her lips melted away the anxiety brewing within him and distracted from the sorrow he felt for her choice to step away from something he knew she would someday excel at. When the kiss ended his head lingered near. One hand cupped the center of her back just below their sacred place while the other set its fingers through her hair, and even fidgeted with the feathers Ember had attached to Kelski’s hair.

“Everyone can sometimes become obsessed with something, and lose sight of what surrounds them. That’s what’s happened since Ember, and the Architectrix, came here. At the time, it didn’t feel like neglect because it was helping you to recover. And I have missed what we were before, though I do not think we can return to that point. Nor should we try to.” Kynier gazed deeply into her bright and beautiful silvers. He could see the care she had for him, and he hoped she could see the care and respect he had for her. “Because we’ve both changed. But I intend to stand with you through every change my love.”

Though the bells were approaching supper time, Kynier did not feel hunger for sustenance. His hunger was for more time with this Kelvic before him. To hold her longer and feel her embrace.

Boxcode credit goes to Gossamer!

[Kelski]

So this was what he actually wanted? This was what would make him happy? Kelski felt Kynier’s arms come around her and she drew the mage as close as he drew her own form, wanting him in her arms and needing the comfort. It felt a little empty to her, because it came only when she caved to his wishes and not unbidden when she was but herself. It made her angry deep inside herself, even as she hugged him and recognized he took all she said negatively about herself at face value and was relieved by it.

Kelski had half wanted him to deny it when she’d spoke out loud about how she’d realized she couldn’t do the things he did. She’d wanted him to fight when she’d told him she had no more questions even after she’d said she had a bunch more questions. The Sea Eagle had made some fairly disparaging remarks about herself and her capabilities to Kynier and he’d agreed with all of them through his silence and lack of denials. He simply felt she couldn’t be or do what he did.

Petching humans.

It was good to know that. It meant she’d have to keep parts of herself secret from him, something she couldn’t do if they ever bonded. Did she want a bond with someone who thought so little of her? Stick to her workshop… that made him happy. Be there for him in all things… that made him happy. Don’t be headstrong. Don’t be stubborn. He hadn’t denied either of those accusations she’d made of herself. Don’t worry him because he knows you’ll mess things up. There was no denial of that either. Work on things more fitting for her kind.

It was a dangerous game she played, but he’d told her everything she’d ever truly wanted to know by his reaction. His words… he needed her. How could he need something that was so much less than he was? How could she make him happy? His passionate kiss spoke volumes… and her traitorous body reacted to it. He relaxed, but he had more to say. She listened quietly, still tasting him on her lips and wanting more of him. She’d been obsessed with the Architectrix? No…. she’d been obsessed with building up her business. There was a vast difference. Didn’t he see that? The Gem and its sentience weren’t an obsession with her. It was another loving friend she was coaxing into the world, one she’d treated no differently than Ebon or Ember or even Ren. What would have helped her recover was someone to talk too. Someone who made her leave the workshop once in a while and get outside maybe to fly. The Gem had its needs and she’d grumblingly taken care of them, baffled at first why a building was so focused on little things like leaking roofs and loose cobblestone pathways.

She hadn’t talked about Vel and Aer’wyn’s departure because she didn’t understand it. She didn’t know why the two were so at war with each other but she’d felt how dangerous Vel was and how resolved Aer’wyn had been and she really didn’t know what to do or say. She would have liked too, of course, but she didn’t want Kynier to think her stupid for not understanding more about the Akalak’s internal battle.

She’d focused on Kynier so obsessively before because she’d been hunting a bondmate. She’d gained a lover and a really good friend instead, completely failing the hunt for some reason or another … again one she didn’t quite understand. Maybe he was right when he reinforced she probably needed more work on things within her own head. Everyone did, didn’t they? Kelski knew she was far from perfect and that she had issues and frankly open bleeding wounds inside. But they were none of anyone else’s business, right? She’d deal with them herself and not be judged for having them in the first place.

Sure, she had plans that extended beyond being a jeweler, but she wasn’t going to share them with him… not now. He’d shoot them down as being too ambitious, probably not suited to her kind, and there’d be more wedges more boundaries not to cross. Kelski felt called by Akajia to do things perhaps none of her kind had ever done. She’d do them, and be damned what anyone thought because her religion was seriously important to her. The Night Mother had been there for her when no one else had. She’d marked her and gave her the companionship of shadows when she had been all alone in the world and desperate for someone and something. And moreso than the Shadows, she had The Gem, a gift she felt her family had given her knowing what it would mean to her.

Warmth infused her from an outside source other than Kynier’s arms. It tried to soothe the anger, dismiss the despair, and tease out the joy it craved from the Kelvic. Kelski pushed it back a bit… later… later… right now she needed to focus. The awareness retreated, not pouting, but to reflect and regroup. While The Gem was a child, it was not childish, not in the way young sentient creatures were.

When she was apologizing to Kynier, it was like she was apologizing to herself, Akajia, and The Gem more than anything else… for believing that a human could have faith in her. How stupid was she thinking a human would be supportive and wouldn’t want to hold her back? Kynier didn’t want her involved in magic. He didn’t think she could be as he was. Okay. It was a lot to process. It was another wedge between them.

She’d been sincere on her words because she’d felt that’s how he felt and he’d supported that by his reaction. Passion. He was happy. And she didn’t want a life without him. But how in the world was this ever going to work if he felt so little of her? She’d never prove to a human that she could do just as much as they could do. She picked up hobbies for specific purposes. She defended herself with daggers, she made money with jewelcrafting, and that bought a sort of power that was almost illusional in its intensity. It hired guards but it didn’t keep someone from slitting your throat on an early morning run or shooting you down with a crossbow on an early morning flight. It didn’t keep darts out of your neck and one waking up with an arch enemy spilling their seed into your body by force. Life was too short to live too far in the future and too dangerous not to live for the future.

What in the world was she going to do? Even as she hugged Kynier and returned his kiss, nodded to his words that felt condescending…. she tried to tamp down the despair that was rising in her. All these thoughts just further ricocheted around Kelski’s mind confusing her further.

Stick to the facts.

Kynier wanted and needed her, on his terms, and she was fine by that. She would be what he felt he needed as it was her Kelvic nature. Akajia said they’d need each other and that they were supposed to be together. Together how? Kelski assumed as a bondmate. Was that assumption incorrect? Was she as foolish as Kynier thought assuming such things?

But regardless of how he felt – and she’d honor those feelings and be careful not to worry him - that wouldn’t stop her from doing things without his knowledge. She’d rather have his expertise, but the tension and constant tug of war wasn’t worth it. It was as if by not believing in her it gave her permission for secrets – and wasn’t that the realm of Nightstalkers anyhow? And it wasn’t as if he didn’t have his secrets from her. She demanded very little from him and only asked questions when he seemed open to them and invited them in. She was sure he probably wouldn’t do that again, not after her very direct question about Aidren.


There were things he’d misunderstood about what she’d meant, like always, having thrown herself in the establishment of her business and of getting that off the ground, not into the sentient development of The Midnight Gem itself. But most of that was her own fault, not sharing what she was doing with him and him not asking either.

The real problem was that she needed Kynier. She needed him in ways she’d only begun to understand, but most of those ways he rejected in subtle ways. What about him didn’t she need? The standoffish haughty attitude. What about him did she just flat out like? She liked his warm eyes and loving smile. She loved his intelligence. She liked how skilled he was at magic and how driven by it he was. She understood that aspect of him more by their talk tonight so she didn’t regret forcing this on him. She adored his body, loved touching it and having him on her, in her, all around her. His scent drove her crazy at times… distracting her from things she didn’t like. She craved his touch, and sometimes could be soothed just by him splaying his fingers across her Aakjia marks. She was obsessed by the way he moved. Kelski could watch him night and day work out or even meditate. And when he was bent over the desk writing late into the night while she watched him pretending to sleep, there was nothing she could think of as a better more relaxing sight. She admired the way he thought things through, and how he planned… so much planning.

But it just angered her that he couldn’t see the warrior beneath her soft skin. That he couldn’t understand how hard she’d had to fight for her life. And there were lines getting blurred… lies and truth. She wasn’t sure how much of this situation her mind was creating and how much was a reality. That was the danger of being an unbonded Kelvic. Her intelligence was alien and without a stabilizing force from a human or similar sentient race, her uncertainty grew. Kelski knew how to win – she knew how to eak happiness out of life in places where none existed. And that was victory in life, truthfully. But she didn’t know how to fight Kynier’s resistance to her doing and being certain things. He’d probably feel she was his equal, but he certainly hadn’t treated her as such. Had she done the same to him? Had she treated him in a way that taught him to treat her the same? It was always later, in his time, when he was ready…

Gods. It was hard. It was so hard she was willing to give up a lot in front of him to just have him. Hands tugged at his shirt, freeing it from his pants, so she could slide her hands up his chest against his skin. Kynier was intoxicating. She leaned forward, breathed in his scent, and nibbled at his chest through his shirt.

She’d take care of him, but she’d take care of herself too. It was the only thing she could do.

Kelski nibbled her way downwards, hands sliding to his belt, showing him how she felt even if she couldn’t voice it at the moment due to all the thoughts in her head. She wanted them gone, the doubts, the uncertainties, the plans for subterfuge. Kelski wanted only Kynier in her head – his feel, his taste, his scent. She made quick work of his belt and the fastenings of his pants, opening them, pushing them downwards. She lipped the rim of his pants where they hung open on his hips, sliding a teasing black tongue down, tasting his skin before freeing him.

Slowly slipping to her knees, she glanced up at him, silver eyes full of how much she needed him despite everything else in her head. She nuzzled the opening of his pants and took him into her mouth, aggressive, willing, sliding her hands around his hips, gripping him to her. She took her time, devouring him slowly, asking nothing from him but giving everything, she could. He was candy and her delight was almost childlike. Sex willingly given was empowering. It washed away anything that had been taken from her by force in the past. The feel of him in her mouth, sliding her tongue up and down his length, drove all the uncertainty out of her mind and was cleansing.

It started to be part apology part promise, but with a single taste it became so much more. Kelski was always on fire for Kynier, had been since the first day she’d met him. And she went about pleasuring him in a way that spoke she’d finish what she started without hesitation, without breaking off, without expecting anything from him but his full surrender.

[Kynier]

They both held the same fear in life. That of being alone. Truly alone. For much of his own Kynier had been in that state and had turned callous with only an idealistic view to keep him from turning completely bitter towards the rest of those that walked this world with him. The desire to help and be helpful rested deeper than the Persona layer of his soul. With his disconnection to society he only pursued the grand scale, until he met her. It pained him to see his words having an opposite effect of what he desired on the person he loved most.

It was so difficult knowing what he needed to do or what he needed to say. When to act versus when to speak. When even doing nothing except listening was what truly needed to be done. It was a struggle he faced every day with Kelski. Always he wanted to see that smile and the reflection of it in her eyes. Yet he was only half aware of his failures in this precise struggle in this precise moment. The two of them never asked much of the other due to how they had lived their lives before each other. Here they fought to understand each other and yet never used the right words to properly convey what they both needed to know.

Words. That was all he had provided for a long time. Warnings were all he had given her about magic and that had led her to say she would stop. To use words to convince her to not do that would feel hollow. Like a pathetic means of simply saying things she wanted to hear and wouldn’t believe the sincerity of them. Kynier need to perform an action to convince her. Nothing came to mind in that moment of what he could do, though it would later that night before he closed his eyes to rest. Now, he was too distracted by her touch, her taste, and the feeling of her hands as they pulled his shirt out to rub against the skin of his chest.

While her hand worked at his belt and pants Kynier breathed deeply on the scent of her hair. His arms wrapped around and hands grasped with gentle desire at the skin of her back just below the short tunic. Kynier was about to shift his weight to get them both over to the bed when Kelski took to her knees. His heart froze and sank with her. This… what was about to happen… felt wrong. In their times of intimacy he did find physical pleasure in the moments of her willing submission. Never had he requested for those moments which made them all the more meaningful to him. That Kelski willingly gave herself to him and that she was… no… that they were each other’s.

This did not have that feeling.

This felt like a surrender and it burned like a hot needle in his heart.

Kynier was going to bend to grasp at her under the shoulders to force her back to her feet, where she belonged. It was the look in her eyes that stopped him from doing so. A need was veiled behind those silver. Did she feel that she needed to do this? It wasn’t the first time Kelski had granted him this form of physical pleasure. However, the other times had occurred in the throes of passion and never had been done like this. Kynier’s body pleaded “yes” and showed its excitement… but his heart and been crying, shouting, and screaming “no” until the look in her eyes had silenced it.

For whatever reason, Kelski seemed to feel the need to do this. Kynier would never understand the thinking behind such a reason. Not because he was human and couldn’t fathom the alien mind of a Kelvic that sought a stability in others. But because he was male, he would never understand… this.

At the start Kynier exhaled in pleasure and closed his eyes. The satisfaction of how she gripped him, both with her hands at his hips as well as her lips, radiated up his spine and down to his toes. Confliction between his mind and body raged. That was until he tried to convince himself.

She’s Kelvic, and they are driven to serve. So let her for now. And give her the respect she deserves. Afterwards, find out what she truly needs from you, and give it to her.

At the end of the thought his shoulders relaxed and he exhaled deeply in pleasure. Kynier surrendered himself to the moment and opened his eyes to watch. For he wanted to intoxicate all his senses with her during intimacy. The feeling of her lips and tongue against him were too powerful to ever ignore. Sight of her rhythm as she cycled forward and back slowly. The soft sounds of her breath as it worked around him. Kynier’s fingers reached down and brushed against her shoulders. Moving closer to the base of her neck until they discovered her bare skin. There they burrowed themselves under the fabric of her tunic as her soft hair brushed against his forearms in a way that sent pleasure in the form of lightning to his mind.

Since the night of the Plantation fire, Kynier had learned something about her that he never would’ve discovered otherwise. Kelski wanted him wilder, more primal, in these moments. Gradually he had given a bit more into that, trying to find the balance of comfort and fulfillment with each step taken. So he gave into it another step. Granting more than surrender. Kynier shifted his feet, slowly and slightly, to find a more comfortable balance without disrupting her. Once settled he gave marginal thrusts of his hips that worked in unison with her. They were marginal at first and increased at a rate Kelski could comfortably adjust to.

Each pass was stoked at the fire Kelski set inside him. A blaze that ran through his blood and consumed him with pleasure. Increasing the temperature of his body, causing sweat to form along his neck and back. Hotter it grew as Kelksi fanned it faster in the way she knew worked on him. It burned at his mental will and control. The movement of his hips increased more and his fingers clawed at the skin of her shoulders. Louder where his breaths and firmer would he feel against her tongue. Time was lost to him yet Kynier felt the end approaching. Kynier began to swell, to peak, and his seed came forth.



Word Count: 1,099

Boxcode credit goes to Gossamer!

[Kelski]

Kelski was lost in the moment, taking what she needed despite Kynier’s reservations. Any stiffening she’d attribute to surprise or pleasure. Any resistance she pushed through, feeling dominate taking from him without demanding reciprocation. He was always so careful with her, and that fact had often disappointed her. She wanted him spontaneous, demonstrative, and expressive. But Kynier held himself so reserved that she actually enjoyed initiating and pursuing pleasure with him.

With Kynier; not with others.

There was something about him that released her inhibitions. She didn’t have the same worries humans had. Kelski never gave a single thought to how she looked without her clothing on… if her hip bones, when she was too, thin disturbed him… or if her skin was too abnormally pale. She didn’t worry that her breasts were too small or too big. She didn’t care if a lantern burned at night or not. She bathed daily, but she never gave a thought to the fact she might smell or hair might grow on her that was displeasing to him. It simply never occurred to her.

Nor did she see any flaws in him. When they were together, he was perfect physically and

She didn’t worry that Kynier would think her loose or any other number of names that were derogatory and reserved for prostitutes that worked in the city exchanging pleasure for coin. She wanted him to know she enjoyed him, craved him, and loved the intimacy they shared. Her relationship with him wasn’t full of verbal communication though. That part they needed to work on so badly.

What she wasn’t so good about was telling him what she loved verses what didn’t care for. He was the same way. It was trial and error and all judging by his reaction. Kelski was mindful of the huge steps Kynier had taken to even include her in his solitary life so she didn’t correct his actions or display displeasure when something wasn’t the best. She was, however, responsive when she loved something and made sure he knew it without saying a word. Had she been more astute she would have growled at him to touch her sooner, grab a fistful of her hair or step closer. Instead, she hissed in pleasure around his shaft when his hands touched her and then buried into her tunic in a firm grip. His touch on her neck was perfect.

Better, so much better too when he actively engaged getting past whatever was causing him pause.

Wen he joined in, actively taking part in what they were doing, Kelski completely relaxed. This was how she was going to get him to release all his tension, anger and frustration. He might even open up if he was satiated. She curled her tongue around him, buried her nose in the scent of him clinging to his base, and redoubled her efforts. She wanted him to think of her always, even when she was away. Kelski felt incredibly possessive of Kynier. They could work through their problems together… if he’d just relax… in so many ways. But she knew change didn’t come overnight. It had to be a gentle transition, one that both of them could accept. And it had to be in his own time, in his own way, on his terms.

He saw so many flaws in her, so many shortcomings that spoke to her that he didn’t trust her. Kelski didn’t want Kynier to find fault. Not here. She wanted him to trust her, in this and in all things. And Kelski felt if she could just do things that reassured him… did things right that he appreciated… he might see more in her and support her one day being more than she was now.

It started with small steps. To her, this was a step. Talking. Taking pleasure. Maybe regrouping and talking again. The moment he released her tunic and felt his fingers claw at her shoulders she knew he was close. She slowed her pace, agonizingly achingly slow, and let him calm a moment, take a breath, and further relax. Kelski was in good shape and could keep up the exercise a long long time. So she did, bringing him close twice more, before backing off and calming him and then finally after agonizing chimes…. she brought him fully to release. She held him then, close to her, arms wrapped around his waist, a cheek resting against his bared abdomen. She’d nuzzle him occasionally, running her tongue up his skin lazily. To Kelski, she didn’t see a dynamic of a woman on her knees and a man standing as anything but two people sharing. And as she always did, once they’d both caught their breaths, she looked up at him and smiled.

“It’s always good with you… like this. No matter what happens, this is good between us.” She whispered before she rose to her feet and left him to either straighten his clothing or peel them off. The Kelvic trailed into the master bath, and got the water running, turning on the complex system the structure used to heat the water. There was a cistern on the roof that heated water with the sun, but on raining days it recharged itself and required a small stove to run the water through and heat it before it ran into the tub. She added bath salts to the water as it filled the oversized tub and laid out towels.

They were both hot, sweaty, and could use the soak. Kelski began stripping off her things and folding them neatly. She just had a skirt to shed, a cropped tunic, and she took a moment to pile her hair on top of her head with pins. Then she carried her clothing back into the bedroom, slipped it into its place in her wardrobe and glanced at Kynier.

“I ran us a bath.” She said quietly, glancing over her shoulder at him. “Come join me?” She invited, pausing at the doorway between the bath and bedroom, turning to lean on the door frame and catch his reaction. She was flushed, her wide silver eyes watching him softly. She licked her dark half-smile unconsciously as if catching a last taste of him on her lips. However, her invitation wasn’t really sexual. It was more of a ‘come…. relax with me… let me care for you…’ type expression. As much as she loved the bath, Kelski was easily mistaken for half duck rather than half sea eagle.

Count: 1085

[Kynier]

It was not over as quickly as he would have expected it to be. When he drew near Kelski abruptly changed in a way that she knew would not take him over that edge. Reaching that cusp was a torturous form of ecstasy. Especially when given the time to step away from it to reach a calmer state of being. His fingers trembled at the desire to have finished. To steady them he placed them against the bare skin of her neck again. Fingertips trailing up and down the tensed muscles lining her neck.

Once Kynier had backed away from that edge Kelski drove him to carnal madness once again. This time it came quicker than before and again she left him standing at the cusp. Kyneir could not contain the snarl that was a complete mixture of pleasure and torture in one. He could see it in her eyes at the few glances she gave him that she greatly enjoyed taking him there. That the end was not the intention as it would have been for most females.

But after the third occasion it simply felt like too much pleasure for a human body to bear. It craved release and it would have it. Kynier’s hand did shift to the back of Kelski’s head. Fingers slipping through the strands of hair in order to tighten and take a hold of her. Hips thrusted more eagerly and the hand worked to control her movements. When his release came it felt like nothing else he had experienced. Though it was inside of her, it was not the same as being inside of her in the traditional sense. To be able to make a claim to which was better would require his mind to not be flooded with sensations that would make a very biased claim.

It gave him a full body ripple even as she nuzzled and used her tongue further. At the sight of those silvers gazing up at him with the smile, Kynier could have physically melted then. He could not deny her words, though he wished that this was not the only thing that would always remain good between them. That there would be a stronger connection and better understanding. The advice of their Night Mother echoed softly in his mind as Kelski stood and went to their bath chamber. He removed the shirt now well stained with his sweat.

He closed the door to the master suite. While she was unbothered by intrusions of the other Kelvics, he still was at times like these. Once the door softly clicked shut, Kelski had returned the clothes she had been wearing to set them down. Though thoroughly sated in his sexual desire, the sight of her lean figure took his breath still. He watched how her tongue caressed her lips with a smile. His smile still had not faded though the high was finally beginning to. One thing that Kynier never did in all his time at the Midnight Gem, was refuse an offer to bath with his love.

It was not done with haste, for he could hear the tub still being filled with water, Kynier removed the rest of his clothing. Folding them up he set them neatly on top of his large trunk for later care. With a deep breath he approached Kelski who still leaned against the frame waiting for him. His hands reached out and caressed the skin of her abdomen as well as her back. The softness of her body touching his own was a liking of his that would never expire. Kynier moved in close and nuzzled against the side of her head. His nose settled behind her ear where it took a deep inhalation of her scent.

A poet he was not. Words to express his affection always felt that they fell short to truly conveying his emotions. So he always tried to express it through touch. A hand descended to cup and playfully squeeze her rump. The skin of his palm brushed over the Sun’s Birth brand that had been laid there on her flesh. It was something he had grown to ignore. It was just another scar of her past. One of many the two of them carried. The only bold scars he had were the lighter lines from a dagger piercing his flesh. One of the left arm and the other on the right side half on his oblique and half on his abdomen. The rest were small and required the precision of the sea eagle’s eyes to see without touching first.

Kynier pressed his lips against the side of her neck and suckled upon the skin once before nipping at it the way she nipped at him before sleeping. Then the stepped into the bath chamber completely. His hands still greedily shifted over her body as though the action alone could intoxicate him. Which was partially true. Once the tub was full enough of water Kynier broke away to disengage the system that drained the cistern for water. He tested the water with his fingers. It was still luke-warm.

Standing to his full height, Kynier closed his eyes and took a breath. His fingertips and thumbs came together in front of his chest. With a second breath to calm his mind the mage called upon his djed. Several ticks passed before it had reached his body’s surface. As it changed to res Kynier opened his eyes and knelt down. Res formed in a gasous state and floated above his hand. Ignite. It sparked into a fire of orange and red flame. His will directed the still unburnt res to float the fire underneath the bathtub.

“This will heat the water in no time,” he said quietly as he dipped a few fingers back into the water. Sure enough, in less than a chime the water was at a comfortable level of hot. Kynier willed the fire out from under the tub and condensed it to a small ball of flame. There the flames turned white as it burned hotter for a few ticks before dying out. As the last flame puffed from existence his mind wandered back to their conversation. It diminished his smile partially to think on it. So he mentally shook it out of his mind so that it would not dampen the joy of the moment.

“It’s ready,” he said before climbing into the tub. He settled first as per their unspoken custom. When she followed she settled herself between his legs and rested against him. The warmth of the water soothed his body in a way that stripped the tension out of him. With small gentle motions of his hand Kynier… manipulated… for lack of a better term… Kelski to have her back against his chest and her head resting on his shoulder. Kynier rested his cheek against the upper corner of her brow as his fingers ran over the length of her arms.

He knew that Kelski sought to comfort and care for him. There were times that was best achieved by letting him comfort and relax her. This was one of those times. His fingertips politely dug into the muscles of her forearms, biceps, and shoulders as they glided up her arms before turning back down to reach for her wrists in the same messaging way. Though he wished for his hand to have distracted him from his thoughts, they were unsuccessful. Kynier did not ease up on the messaging pattern he made as his mind though over what she had said last.

The sea eagle would feel his heart pick up in rhythm and his body tense in certain placed. The small tells of nervousness he had when about to say something important, and was afraid it would be poorly received or misinterpreted. Kynier tilted his head down so he could whisper softly in her ear. Hands still digging into her muscles, only now they had moved past her arms and worked into her chest, sternum, and breasts. “I love you my Feather… and I love magic as well. When trying to talk about both at the same time, it is hard for me to be… objective. To not let my love or fear of either affect my words. I… I don’t want you to stop. I don’t want you to abandon your pursuit of magic. I just… that wasn’t what I was trying to say any of these times we’ve talked about it. I wanted you to… slow down.”

“I’ve seen the damage of mistakes… and I’ve felt them… I’ve… nearly been killed by them.” Kynier’s hands changed from rubbing with fingertips to rubbing more with the palms of his hands. Hands that reached down further to encompass her abdomen, her sides, and still reached up for her breasts. “I don’t want you to make mistakes. But… thinking more about it… that’s the only way someone learns… isn’t it? Because you were right… at one point… I was the… absolute worst a person could be at magic. And I made many mistakes. Each of them hurt. And I learned from them.”

All he wanted was to keep her safe and protect her from harm. Magic was very harmful when improperly used. But by trying to protect her, Kynier had been standing in her way. Something he never wanted to do, in any regard. One hand deviated from the pattern and rested itself on her chest and over her heart, while the other kept caressing her body under the water’s surface.

“Your heart is special my Feather. No matter the pain you experience you always manage to find love. Love that you share with others that are in need. And you do great things… out of love for those people. Kelvics… Akalaks… and me… a human. All the great things you have done, have been without magic. There is no doubt… none at all… in my mind… that you would do even greater things with magic.” He moved his head so that his lips would kiss the side of her head. Both hands reached down and rubbed into the muscles surrounding her hips.

“Maybe… I’m not suited to try and teach. It might just be that… we are too close… and that is what is getting in the way when it comes to magic. I don’t know… But though I have tried to help… I have been more of an obstruction. And I don’t want to be in your way. With magic… or with anything. I don’t want to be… the chain that keeps you from flying. I want to see you fly.” Fingers splayed out as a hand reached down to her core and further down between her legs. One finger navigated its way to the place… the place she said only he belonged. “I want to help you… fly.”

A second finger joined the first as his other hand rose to rest over her heart. Kynier slid them in as far as he could reach and pulled them back. On the next pass, he hooked his fingers slightly and found that place inside her. Pressing his fingers together he stiffened the muscles of his hand as he oscillated his fingers deeper and back out repeatedly. A slow set of movements at first. Experimental. Finding the right curve of his fingers. The right intensity of pressure to apply. Kyneir noted her reactions to his changes so that he could find the one most effective.

“I want to be… a source of strength for you… my Feather… as you have been for me.” He spoke softly yet with passion and desire. Desire to reciprocate. Desire to please. And passion to find her happiness.



Word Count: 1,953

Boxcode credit goes to Gossamer!

[Kelski]

She smiled when he came to help her. Using his hands to stroke her and his magic to warm the bath further. Once upon a time when they were still strangers, Kynier had laid his hand on her knee and she’d thought without any hesitation she’d cut it off if it rose higher. Now, she craved his hands on her and there were no boundaries to where he could not go. She couldn’t identify the moment that had happened. It certainly had been gradual… for all that they’d mated the first night he’d shared her bed. He’d seen to that and she’d been incredibly enthusiastic for the whole thing. Odd coming from someone who thought humans in general violent and dangerous. Kynier could be both, but wasn’t with her.

She loved him like this, pleasantly exhausted, satiated by sex, and yet still interested… still willing to nuzzle her neck where he caught her scent much like a wild animal before the bath would cleans away the sweat and perfume them both. Her hands were not idle as he caressed her form. She touched back, tracing the line of his spine with a hand while splaying fingers across his heart with another. He could feel her shiver as he nipped her neck, melting into him slightly. She never flinched as he stroked her rump. Greedily she wanted more and whimpered slightly as he slipped away to see to the rest of the water.

As he heated it, she turned to add soap to it that would froth and bring bubbles to the top, coating the water like icing on a cake. The scent that came back from the bubbles was masculine – balsm and spearmint – that smelled more like cologne than fragrance. She laid a tray of leaning things on a stool next to the tub and climbed in after him, settling against his form. They would talk here more, she decided, though she didn’t know what they would speak of. Plenty of words had passed between them, but more to had passed through sex. The burning heat of his liquid still filled her belly and she did not think he would be interested in more for a while.

She almost groaned as he started the massage and then stiffened. Why did Kynier have to ruin a perfectly good time with words and business and job affiliations? Why did he never just take what she offered and leave it at that? It was as if he ran a debt counter in his mind and constantly had to make sure he was owed more than he himself owed… if that made any sense?

He needed to realize, eventually, and hopefully here as well that there was no debt, no this person needs this to feel equal between them. She shared her life with him, almost everything in it she considered communal property, but he didn’t often feel the same. And because he’d opened up to her she understood why… but it didn’t make it any more right.

The words he rumbled next, softly, were a reaffirmation and a surprise. She blinked again, twisting her head where it leaned back on his shoulder so she could see his face. He brought up magic again. Again! And now he wanted her to do the things he’d done… even to make mistakes… to learn better. He kept talking, calling the things she’d done great.

Kelski didn’t agree… she’d done nothing but make jewelry, borrow money, and help people who needed help. They were actually small things that others could do whenever they wanted too. Why would he say do it, don’t do it, then do it again?

Kynier was sometimes baffling to her and this was one of those times. Hadn’t he agreed to all the things she’d said about herself by not contradicting them? How could he truly believe that she could even be a mage if he thought she’d mess up and hurt herself repeatedly… maybe even get killed? And he wanted her too? So she could learn?

The Kelvic would have tensed and turned, renewing the fight immediately by calling him a liar but his hands were doing things to her hip muscles she rather enjoyed. She was so relaxed that she’d melted into his pelvis, hips, stomach, and chest and it was hard to tell where he began and she ended. She tried to clear her mind but his hands were doing amazing things.

He hadn’t told her to slow down. He’d told her to stop without him. He hadn’t trusted her with Aer’wyn’s journal. He’d told her to give it to him so he could read it and learn and see if it was suitable. Those were hurtful things. They were words he couldn’t take back. She opened her mouth to say as much but his long arm had straightened, reached and touched her in the most intimate way possible.

It happened at the very moment he said he wanted to help her fly. She was flying alright. Her mind gone with a single touch of his fingers. She reached out and wrapped her hands around his arm, the one pleasuring her with his fingers, and gently gripped it. Her head tilted sideways and nuzzled his neck. White teeth flashed but she didn’t bite him. Black nails dug into his busy forearm and her pelvis began to move.

Kelski was a little bit shameless in her enjoyment of sex. She wasn’t one to remain silent, still, or quiet if she enjoyed something. The grip on his arm tightened as she gasped into his neck as his fingers caught a rhythm. Her nether region puffed and swelled around his touch, responsive, even as her hips caught his tempo and began to move with his thrusts. The sounds uttered involuntarily from her throat sounded more like a birds chirps and warbles than a human woman’s moans of pleasure. Her tongue found his pulse on his neck and licked once, twice…. a bite eminent. Her breath quickened, back arched, and she splayed her legs out wide, shamelessly enjoying his touch. Kynier was something of an artist and he in that moment he might have been a musician as well because he played Kelski’s body, wringing sound and vibration from her through is touch.

She turned in his arms, facing him, legs on the outside of his hips. She moved her grip up to his shoulders, holding on, as she rode his hand and his unbelievable fingers. Once, in Tall Johnny’s, Darvin had sold the rights to her to a stranger in exchange for drugs. He wasn’t to have sex with her but only touch her. He’d done so shamelessly and relentlessly, but it had felt nothing like this. Kelski nipped Kynier’s jawline, brushed a kiss across his mouth, but it was obvious to both of them that her attention was elsewhere.

Silver eyes locked onto hazel and she had no intention of letting him look away. It didn’t matter if it was his shaft or his fingers, Kelski loved the attention and took it with no ounce of hesitation or shyness. She pressed him deeper by the thrust of her hips and rose higher so his fingers touched the hard tip of her feminine center each time he withdrew from a penetration. Kynier loved her wildness, and she suspected deep down he loved the fact that she was aggressive, dominating, and usually had no human deceptions or subterfuges when it came to their relationship. But life was teaching her the human way, the deception, and how sometimes lies were easier than the truth.

Kynier was talking to her… it made it hard to concentrate on his words when he was doing what he was doing and trying to shower her with what he’d decided. She twisted her head suddenly, dropping his gaze, and dug her teeth into his arm as she released all the pent-up pressure he’d built in her. Arms came around him, slipping down from where she’d held onto his arm and later his shoulders, and after a few moments she collapsed against him, twitching slightly and digging her teeth into his shoulder deeper – her way of asking him to stop… that it was too much.

It was a long time before she spoke, her being breathless and mindless… but when she came back to herself and tried to remember all he said, she leaned back, still partially wrapped around him, and met his gaze again. Pale skin was flushed with the after effects of pleasure and her lips were parted because she was breathing heavily still.

“But you don’t trust me…. not really. You don’t actually think I can be a mage….” She said softly, her words almost breathless. He had denied nothing she said negatively about herself. None of it. And it was unfair of him to have deep talks in the aftermath of his touch, his taste, of them being together like this. Kelski left the words hanging between them, her eyes wide, her pupils slightly dilated.

She blinked, licked her lips, and shook her head. “I don’t trust you either… not really. I don’t trust you to tell me the whole of it, to really answer my questions without thinking badly of me for asking what I might ask. Humans think so little of my kind. You treat me as an equal in all things, Kynier, all things but this. And I sit back, sometimes… waiting for you to be like the rest of your kind. Just like with Aer’wyn’s book. You wanted to take it from me, read it, learn it, and then you said you would judge whether it was suited to me….. as if I were a child, not knowing what was good for me, unable to decide for myself. And when I said all those bad things about myself… you didn’t disagree.” She said, the hurt infused in her voice. “You didn’t disagree because you believed them.” Kelski accused.

Count: 1666

[Kynier]

There was power in a touch. The mind was capable of so much more than receiving tactile information through the sense, it could transmit through it as well. Concepts that would take someone hours to convey, or a poet their life’s work to capture in the perfect words, could be understood from a single brush of the fingers. In the playful bump of a shoulder or hip. Even with a foot cradling itself against another person’s foot. Small things with so much meaning.

Never had Kynier envisioned himself being a man that constantly desired to touch the woman that claimed his heart. It was an addiction it seemed. The more his hands caressed and fondled the more he craved. Kelski became an intoxication the minute he wrapped his arms around her shoulders that night. Many other nights as well. He would lose himself in her so easily, with a simple touch. It could be credited to his magical scaring he received from the first visit to the Saique and the slab in its hold. When his sense of touch returned Kynier had a new appreciation for it. And saw the value of a person’s touch more clearly since then.

So when his hand reached down for her pleasure, it was more than sex. At least to him. The way Kelski’s body curled and writhed to match his hand sent shivers down his spine. The feeling of her hands on his arm, and her tongue licking so low on his neck. All of it caused him to almost reach physical arousal again. The inhuman sounds she made in moments of surprise pleasure used to give him pause with fascination. Not this time. Kynier had become accustomed to it, even sought those sounds, knowing how much pleasure needed to course through her system before they came.

Kelski’s suspicions were correct though they most likely would never be verbally confirmed. Kynier did love the aggression and dominance she implemented in their relationship. That she claimed him so openly. It was disbelieving that someone could want him so much. He who had no conventional skills, who could be so terse and ungiving of his thoughts and feelings. No one before the sea eagle ever had given him the desire to open. To share. Share moments in life while pursuing happiness. Share the pains so that they were not as terrible. Kynier always though he had good control over his emotions. It was an easy claim to make. For once he met Kelski, it seemed as though there had never really been any feelings to experience before.

He wanted to give so much to her. And it was the compulsion of the Spy to give when something was given. As a Spy, it was better to be owed than it was to owe. Making it habit to give something, anything, back when something was received. Kynier always tried to leave that side of him at the door when he returned home. So that when he gave anything to her be it time, affection, or favors, it would be from his heart and not from a sense of debt. It was a hard compulsion to resist, and he was never as successful in that as he thought he was.

But the Spy was the first side of him that she had ever seen. There were three shades to him, three masks that he wore that all had to be kept secret. The Spy, which Kelski used to seem indifferent too. Until that side was caught in something beyond his control and was used to manipulate him. The Mage. A side she had seemed fascinated with until looking harder and getting closer changed her opinion. The Mage was rarely worn around others and tended to be pretentious. It was the most intellectual of all his sides, as well as the most emotional, he learned. The last Kelski had witnessed the birth of. The Nightstalker. It was young and impressionable. But had already endured multiple failures and was drowning in doubt. Around her he tried to be none of them. One would appear depending on the situation. But he wanted to be something else when around her though he did not know what that was.

Kelski pivoted around his hand to lock eyes with him. Her silvers were rather mercurial as her hips worked to match the rhythm of his affections. Watching, smiling, as she began to shiver and convulse at her climax. Her teeth sank into his shoulder as he felt the contractions of ecstasy against his fingers. When her body relaxed her teeth squeezed at his shoulder a little harder. Indicating that she was satisfied and wanted to stop. In him was the urge to ignore that, but he gently removed his fingers from her and ran both hands up and down her back.

She was silent for a while as she rested against him breathlessly. He did not speak but simple continued to run his fingernails up and down her back on either side of her spine. Once she finally leaned back his hands came to a rest on her hips. The words about trust struck hard. Kynier wanted to deny the statement. To say that he did trust her, but… There were no words to continue that track of thought, but it did have a continuation. As much as he hated it, she was correct. Something stopped him from trusting her when she had not truly done anything to deserve a lack of it.

Worse still, she admitted to not trusting him. That he would not fulfill the promise he had give to her by the river long ago. The mask of the Mage had done this to them. Had it been the Spy it would’ve wanted to establish some sort of reward system. The Nightstalker… was too young to know if it would’ve spilled all the secrets to its elder or hoarded it to itself. Kelski’s final words ripped at his heart. The anguish in her tone spilled into him. Kynier sat a little straighter and a hand slid up the side of her body until it found itself cupping the side of her head, as though at any moment she would turn away an never look back.

“Kelski,” he said softly as he looked deeply into her eyes. “Never accept my silence as agreement, or disagreement. I was silent because I needed to think on your words, for I had none to offer. The only thing I could manage would be to say that ‘You’re wrong.’” His head tilted slightly the side in a quizzical way. “But is that all you would need to hear? Those words even if I cannot put into words an explanation behind the feeling? Because if so… You’re wrong, Kelski. I feel it in my heart that you are none of those things that you said about yourself.”

That hand that cupped her head stroked her cheek with the thumb. She didn’t trust him. He was in her home, her bed, her body, and held her love. But she didn’t trust him. That was the chasm that had developed between them. It was not a disagreement on magic, though that was the main contributor. There was nothing he felt he could say to that. Words never fixed that issue. The Spy told him and had shown him that. Trust was slowly built and quickly lost. Had he ever had her trust though?

“I’m sorry my love. I want to give you my full trust, it’s just…” What was it exactly? His gaze did not break from her eyes as his mind dug deep for the truth to finish the rest of that sentence. The truth being something she had said to him long ago in the Temple. “I… I’ve let my fear take control,” he admitted painfully. “Worse yet, it wasn’t controlling my actions, but trying to control yours. For that I’m truly sorry.” He had wanted Aer’wyn’s journal so that he could read it and understand what she needed to know to practice it. That was too much control as well. The more that was said, the more he was convinced that he was not meant to teach her.

Was she right in the beginning to never have approached him about magic? Or would it have been better if she had not acted without his knowledge and hurt herself? “Yes” felt like the correct answer to both. But it was irrelevant now. What was done was done. The real question was, where do they go from here?

“I trust you with many things, my Feather. There are things that I don’t’ say because I feel it is better that you do not know. I may be wrong in doing so, but that is what feels right when I make the decision.” The explanation felt lacking even as he gave it. She would see in his expression that as he said the words he nearly realized the flaw in his own argument. “The truth is,” His eyes reaffirmed their hold on hers. “I don’t know you as well as I’d like. You are a jeweler, you are a Nightstalker, you were a slave, you lived in Lhavit, and Master Li bought your freedom. You once expressed an interest in magic when we first met. Apart from all of that, I know nothing beyond your preferences. I do not know if you opened the Midnight Gem and that’s all you need to be satisfied for your life’s accomplishments. Or if you need something more.”

“You also have nightmares at night, my Feather. Yet I’ve never asked about them, or your dreams, waking or sleeping. I have been complacent. Being satisfied with what little I do know and hoping you will openly speak more of your past or of your plans for the future. The few times I’ve asked you answered, begrudgingly. That could be part of the problem I think.” His other hand rose to gently cup the other side of her head and his fingers curled to run through the hair on the back of her head more. “We need to do more together. Share more in this life I feel. This… what we’ve been doing… isn’t enough for both our happiness. And I don’t wish to return to existing. There is so much joy in my life when I’m with you.”

Boxcode credit goes to Gossamer!