28th of Autumn, 518. 3rd bell after Midnight.
The Tear of Tanroa,
The drummer held the bauble in the palm of his hand, the images playing over and over both in his eyes. Engraved into his memory, the Illusionist felt longing pour into his every thought. This blessed, cursed artifact made everything so fucking real. The drummer didn't just see Lani, he felt the wind tug at his hair. He felt the racing of his heart, the elation poured into him as he drank in the sight of her. He played the memory over and over, pouring himself into it until it was time to leave for the Bolt Hole. He stumbled onto the stage, slurred his words. The Illusionist found his performance to shine within the booming halls of the abandoning building. But inside, he was torn. The memory played as he did, tearing into his thoughts. The beat poured him his soul, one of anguish that Dee picked up on. The atmosphere of the Bolt Hole turned somber as Azcan ripped through himself, his heart torn from his chest and bleeding on the stage before him. The denizens of the Bolt Hole oft did not come to feel sadness during their escape. But the illusions ripped from him as his anguish did, and in the tremors, the guests allowed him his portal. When the night burned away, Azcan emerged from the Bolt Hole, a shell of himself.
The drummer stumbled with each step, catching his balance only to return to homeostasis. Pace after pace he trudged through Sunberth. Light brown eyes were glazed with his stupor, but his legs did not carry him through to the Drunken Fish. He scaled past it, through Baroque Bay and to the docks he knew his soul truly lived within. What was it about the slosh of alcohol that forced him to confront truth? He couldn't control himself as he trudged forward. The young drummer slammed into a signpost, falling to the earth with a massive thud. He groaned with pain he could hardly feel, finding it much more vivid in the moments when he tried to rise. His head hit the post next, his eyes popping from his skull. The pain stabilized him for the moment, his head ringing when he finally rose to his feet. Azcan half walked, half crawled forward, finding the rope ledge that 'stopped' people from falling over and into the waters. He used that rope to pull him forward, his stumbling ceasing as he found the casinor he'd known by sight for years.
It was the drummer's first time on it in his time in Sunberth, but he'd seen Lani walk in and out of it. He watched her from afar as she returned from whatever she did with it. The middle of the afternoon, early evening, she'd return at different hours but nonetheless, the drummer watched. He hated himself for it, but he found relief tear shivers down his spine as he climbed aboard the ship. His legs falling into place on the wooden deck carried thuds and vibrations. The ship moved beneath him and Azcan stumbled yet again. The back of his legs collided with the bulwark, forcing him into a seated position. He heaved there for several moments, feeling the bruises swell along with his calves. He rose before two steps forward forced him to the floor again. The drummer didn't rise this time. Instead, he shifted to a seated position. When Azcan turned his body, his back met the familiar surface of the rise in the hull. Her cabin was behind him, the woman most certainly less than ten feet away from his back. Azcan seemed to lose his nerve and instead huddled against the wood.
The drummer's bare flesh was weak to the cold in his stupor, shivers pouring through his body as he retrieved the Tear of Tanroa from his satchel. He looked into the beautiful bauble yet again, unsleeving it from its lovely blue sack. The memory played again, glazed eyes drinking in the tanned flesh of a woman who was so very close, and yet... she was an ocean away. The drummer allowed the anguish to flood him anew, but now there were no drums. There was no sanctuary to siphon his pain into, and instead it fell from his cheeks as tears that stung at his senses. Violence did not bring tears to the drummer, nor did any sort of physical pain. Yet, drunken as shit, turning to a jewel to retrieve a single, beautiful memory from his mind was enough to undo Azcan. the drummer wept in the darkness of Sunberth's night, forgetting place or name and allowing it to pour through him. The wooden hull and deck of the ship eluded him. As far as the drummer was concerned, he was anywhere else, isolated and truly torn asunder.
Directionless, clueless, Azcan let his pain free into the night.