Do You See Me?

[Lani Stranger]

67th of Winter, 518AV

”Gods be damned, this is the worst looking mirror I have ever seen in my life.” Narth’s voice cut through her late night room. Leth’s reflection in the mirrors in her air vents was not enough to light her room, but Lani had lit a fire so she could see the hulking Inarta examining her dinky mirror across the room. It was her first day off in a tenday, and she usually liked to clean with her spare time. Well, she didn’t like to clean, but she liked it clean. Or, at least, if she knew someone would be coming in her apartments, she would attempt to straighten them. Still she had spent the day curled up on her rug by the fire sipping tea, reading a borrowed scroll from the Enclave, and doing absolutely nothing worth her time. She hadn’t cleaned. And then Narth showed up, and she regretted it. Of course.

Lani was haphazardly shoving random things in corners and trying to make her bed as if Narth would not see. He had opted to poke through whatever had escaped her crazed sweep through of the room. One of those things was her mirror.

”Maybe because you look in.” She muttered, chucking undergarments into her laundry basket. Narth boomed at her astute observation, and pointed the polished side of the steel at her.

”Did you break it by looking into it? It isn’t even glass!” He laughed at her, and she kicked her unused boots into her closet and stomped up to him, setting the mirror down on the table. The small dent in its center made it sit on a tilt and wobbled slightly on the flat of the table. She got up in Narth’s face, procuring a crooked finger at him, and uttering as threateningly as she could. And then, for all the show she had put on to try and appear threatening to the Endal, her mind was blank of what to say, or at least what to say in Nari so that he would understand.

”Shush,” She settled on the universal tone of quiet, and pressed her hands into his chest, pushing her arms out so that they were straight and then walking him to the bed. She could feel his amused chuckles as he laughed at her antics, clearly not taking her seriously at all this night. Still, his feet walked backwards, knowing where she was taking him. When he came knocking on her doors so suddenly as he did, there was usually only one thing that he wanted, and she was eager to get it over with so that she could sleep once again. When Narth’s calves hit her bunk, he fell back into it, landing on his rump, and trying to stifle his laughter.

[Lani Stranger]

Knowing exactly what would work on Narth, Lani followed him onto the bed, spreading her legs so that her thighs encased his, and she was perched just above his crotch. Carefully she smoothed her hands over his biceps and up his shoulders before cupping him by the jaw and pulling his face into hers. She could feel the response in his body, she knew he liked to start slow. Narth was a hedonist, and the more she touched him, the more he became like clay in her hands, and so she didn’t mind starting slow, if it meant she retained control. And, it wasn’t as if her body wasn’t reacting as well. She was familiar with Narth, she wasn’t nervous any more, and that made things easier.

”Mhmm hmm.” He muttered something against her lips, and Lani paused briefly, deciding if she was going to let him talk or not. He took the chance to cup his own hands on her cheeks and push her back off of him slightly. Lani’s eyes fluttered open and she glared at him. She didn’t want to talk tonight, she wanted to bone and then get him out so that she could read and possibly sleep more than five bells. ”Black eyes, wait.” He repeated, his stark blue gaze flitting from one of her black orbs to the other and back as if he was trying to read something in her eyes.

Lani opted not to answer with words, perking a single eyebrow at him instead. She took the opportunity to let her hands wander his shoulders and chest, teasing at places she knew she shouldn’t. He reached up and caught both her hands in his, clutching them tightly but not painfully. With a disappointed groan, he pulled Lani off of him, and she sighed, letting him roll her over on the bed. She melted into the mattress, not feeling sexy at all after the rejection, and waited for him to say what he was going to say. If it was going to be a talking day, she was going to kick him out, Endal or not.

”Just one tick now, Black Eyes, I have something for you.” He said, and she felt his weight depart from the mattress while she watched the airvents in her ceiling for signs of impending doom. Not wanting to move too much, she rolled her head to watch him reach for the satchel he had left by the door, rummaging through it quickly. Narth glanced at her, and noticed her watching, and so quickly held something behind his back before approaching. Lani groaned once more… this was not the deal.

”Narth,” She warned, watching the wicked grin begin to form on his face. ”Naaaarth…” She groaned again, as it was clear he knew the rule he was violating and didn’t care. She pulled the covers of her unmade bed over her head as if it would hide her from the gift Narth was preparing to bestow upon her. The deal was sex, and occasionally reprieves from work on behalf of his Endal privilege, usually to acquire the first part of the deal: sex. The deal did not include gifts or talks by the fire, or anything that required any connection of their emotions to one another, and he had already done one of those forbidden acts this season. Was he going to do both? Really?

[Lani Stranger]

”Fine.” Lani paused at the sudden reprieve in words. ”If you don’t want it, I just won’t give it to you.” He said, a forced simplicity in his voice. Even though her auristics seemed to be tied to the sensitive speckles on her finger tips, it was not inhibited by the blankets she clutched. Focusing on the magic sense she reached out for his aura. Her familiarity with the man and practice with the skill made reading the emotions easy. She could feel the vibrations of mischief and glee, and an unjust warmth and familiarity there. It soured the Chaktawe slightly, but she could not help but find herself reflecting his emotions, anticipation and curiosity taking over.

Slowly Lani lowered the covers to look at him, and saw the shyke-eating grin on his face. She tried to stifle the giggle, and in less than a tick he had whipped something out from behind his back and handed it to her. Whatever it was thin and oval, a little larger than her face, and wrapped in a cloth. The curiosity burned now, and Lani moved to sit up, making room for Narth on her small bed. He sat beside her, and forced the wrapped item into her fingers. Gingerly, she took it, flipping the flat thing over in her hand and then flipping it once more. It was wrapped neatly and tightly so that she knew it was not Narth who had done it. Whatever he had bought he had done so specifically for her, as he had likely had the merchant wrap it. Ugh.

Still, as Lani slowly peeled back the cloth, she couldn’t muster disappointment or disinterest, as her mind was racing on what Narth could possibly want to give her. What thing could benefit the easy relationship they had formed over the past few moons? Anything she could imagine only seemed to ruin it.

Once she had removed the cloth, she was met with a smooth metal surface. Curiously, Lani flipped the thing over in her hand, the cloth falling to her lap, and was met with her own face. It was an exact reflection and it was nearly perfect, far clearer than her simple steel mirror could have ever given her. It was slightly larger and meant to be hung on a wall, with intricate glass designs on the frame. Lani gawked at the gift for a moment too long, enamored by the expense of it, but also coming to the realization that Narth had pointed out her old mirror for a reason. He had noticed it when coming to her apartment before, but she had never thought that he would think anything more of it, nor would he realize how much the dinky thing had come to mean to her during her time in the Reach.

”I…” She started to say something, but then was at a loss for words. Narth’s aura radiated a prideful movement, which made her think that he thought she thought it was a good thing. It was not. Unwilling to ruin the mood, Lani took a small breathe to station herself, and then plastered a smile on her face, looking up at Narth. Trying to distract him from asking her if she actually liked it, she reached forward her threw her arms around his neck in an embrace and then carefully set the thing back in its cloth on the stand by her bed. She hated it, and she had no idea why.

Trying not to share that with Narth, she turned back to him, hands immediately on him. She didn’t want to talk tonight, and she didn’t want to get gifts from him. She wanted to give him what he was here for and get him out as quickly as possible. Lani maneuvered herself back onto the Inarta, pressing him into her bed and pushing her body into his. She wound her fingers in his hair, pulling her face close to his to speak two simple Nari words before engulfing his mouth in hers. ”Thank you.”

[Lani Stranger]

Perhaps it was her nerves and disappointment; perhaps it was that her body was still inexperienced with the affront of men. Perhaps she was too caught in her head trying to decide what the gift meant to Narth, and what it was supposed to mean to her. When she was too caught in her own head, she did not enjoy the pleasures of laying with the Endal. Normally that would not have mattered except with someone as aware and giving as Narth, who noticed her disinterest.

”Are you okay?” He paused where he was, leaning over her, her breasts pressed into his chest. It took her a tick to realize she was not touching him, rather she was laying there like an unwilling whore. And although she considered this relationship little more than a prostitute’s agreement, she had always at least hidden that perception from Narth. Carefully Lani brought her hands up to smooth them over the sides of his ribs, acknowledging that they were ticklish to him. He didn’t seem to notice and so she got braver, gripping at the blades of his shoulder and pulling herself closer into him, trying to lie to him with her body when words were useless. She strained her neck and reached up to kiss him, stealing the worry from his mouth and putting more effort into her acting. Most of the time she did not mind so much when Narth lay with her, in fact she tended to enjoy him, but today she couldn’t seem to focus on the act well enough to please him.

”Black eyes,” He repeated, obviously used to her tactics to try and dissuade him from starting a conversation. She felt a frown in her chest but tried not to let her face show it. Instead she let a knowing grin slide into her lips and eyes.

”Just tired. Here,” She grabbed his shoulders, pushing and pulling him off of her so that she could shift on top of him. ”My turn.” She said, giving him a wicked grin and wink. He could chalk that up to whatever he wanted, but she wanted to get it over with. She let her hands do the work for a moment, bringing him back to attention and away from his worry about her. While doing so she had to keep careful track of her face, to ensure that he could not see the thoughts that traced through her features and set her own mind wondering. Only once she was sure he was sufficiently distracted again did she lower herself back onto him with the intention of satisfying him into a snoring slumber so that she could worry in her own bed in peace. With how long they had already been going he would likely be sleeping with her that night, but the sooner he found his way to the land of dreams, the better.

[Lani Stranger]

By the time Narth’s snores were deep enough for her to notice, Lani was almost asleep herself. The rocking noise erupted next to her ear, and not a moment after it stopped did she get a face-full of Narth’s hot end-of-day breath. Scrunching her nose, she rolled over and away from the man on the small cramped cot. His arm was heavily slung over her waist, but this movement did not wake him.

In the grey night shadows that cast through her room, she was confronted with the faint reflection of her glowing embers in the mirror by her bed. Suddenly this view was less preferable to a face full of Narth’s nighttime breath. Trying not to confront the mirror, Lani turned again, facing Narth once more. The pillow pushed up against his cheek, parting his lips slightly and revealed the crooked creamy teeth beneath. A small well of spit was being lured out of his mouth and finding its way down his thick beard to her pillow. A small part of her wanted to call it disgusting, but a larger part of her was paying attention to the way his features softened in his sleep, and how she could practically read his dreams on his face. It was almost… cute.

No. Something inside of her halted that thought, and it woke her up so that she no longer had a hope of snuggling closer to Narth and falling asleep to the rhythm of his snores. Another snore was building up in his chest, and Lani lifted his arm from her waste, flipping her legs over the side of the bed and standing up. She turned to watch the man to see if it had woken him up. He was completely unaware. Curious, she lifted the arm that now held nothing and let it drop back onto the mattress as roughly as she could. She heard the hiccup in Narth’s snore and watched his face twitch, but otherwise the man did not wake. It did take a few ticks for the deep snores to start up again though.

”Honestly, with how much this man trusts me…” She muttered to herself, turning away from him and snatching a candle from her table. She took a small bundle of tinder and tossed it into the coals, poking them a bit to allow it to light. She thrust the tip of the candle into the new small fire so that it could light, and then set it right on its holder once again while the tinder burned up with nothing larger to attach itself to.

Lani took the candle and carefully set it on the surface by the bed. She had to move the mirror to make room for it, and found herself picking up the gift, still partially wrapped in the cloth. Curiously she looked into it once more, and frowned at her reflection. It was not the expression in it that bothered her, but who wore it. She had never seen one like herself, and although she heard of the races whom she might belong to, and that they existed, she had not met one. No other person walked with black eyes, or gold skin like herself, especially not here. Using her trick from the Winter Revelry, Lani held the mirror to her face and tapped into djed in her stomach. It wanted to find its way to the freckles in her fingertips like it was so used to, but instead she coaxed the djed to a different line of magic.

[Lani Stranger]

As if putting on a show for anyone but herself, she coaxed her djed into her eyes, blinking as they started to tear when the morphing took control of them. She was very new to this magic, and had only ever found use for it once coming to Wind Reach. She could create a mimic of the human eyes that surrounded her, pulling the white sclera into her vision and ringing her black pupil with black irises. Only now as she watched herself in the mirror, she recalled Narth’s eyes, which she had spent so much time looking into. His stark icy blue gaze, with the small brown freckle that ringed the bottom of his left pupil. She had noticed the small flaw ages ago, but only now, as she watched herself in the mirror, did she attempt to draw his coloring into her own eye. At the Winter Revelry she was able to create a poor attempt at a human eye, although they had no color and it had given her away to the mysterious man whom she had called Eywaat. But now as she rubbed the discomfort from her eyes she could see the foreign blue staring back at her in the mirror.

Of course it was not actually foreign, she had looked into Narth’s deep gaze so many times she knew every detail of them and how they would appear in her own. Only now she could his his bright eyes framed in her dark face. Under the flicker of candles, her skin did not emit the faint shimmering which she had assumed was of her Eypharian heritage. Instead she was a mundane dark skin tone with flat black hair framing her angular in-human face. She was not human, she never would be, and wearing the eyes of her lover would not change that. Determined, Lani began to coax the magic somewhere else, testing the limits of what she could do tonight.

She had also changed her hair color before, although in a different flavor. Last time, in the market place, she had tried to imbed the dark black with some fiery orange, but she had not used enough of the magic and so instead her hair fell into a murky brown color that also gave her away to the Endal she had met there. Now she knew the path that her djed had to follow to create this color, and she thrust more magic into it, trying to create the red she was familiar with. This time she glanced at Narth’s deep crimson hair, scratching at her scalp. This time when strands fell to make room for the new growth, she was not as worried. She swept them up and shoved them into the embers before turning back to her mirror to find long streaks of Narth’s crimson red invading the pale black of her hair.

There was one more detail she wanted to add, and as she looked at Narth, slumbering on her bed, she noticed the soft waving curls that inhabited his short locks. She had to imagine what it would look like on her long hair, but with some fidgeting she found herself mimicking his hair.

[Lani Stranger]

This time as she looked in the mirror, she was met with the exact replica of Narth’s blue eyes, and a dark comparison of his hair. She had not gotten the texture just right, but she had focused on the color and found it to be similar enough to be satisfying. She could feel the strong pull of magic underneath her skin and it gave her the confidence to attempt one more transformation. In the pale flickering candlelight, Narth’s pale freckled skin emerged from her covers. Her own skin was dark and foreign, unlike his. Trying to mimic him she channeled her djed into her skin, brushing at her arms to ease the prickling as the magic worked it’s way through.

She had been using magic more in the past few seasons, and although not all of it was morphing, she found she was not as intimidated by it as she watched it work on her skin. Although she could see no glimmer in her flesh as she was used to, neither could she see the dark golden tone of her skin. It was fading into a pale color that should have been more pink, but inside mimicked Narth’s skin tone under the soft candlelight. If she attempted this again under better lighting she might find better results, but Lani was creating a mimic of herself out of curiosity rather than true science. The mirror rested on her lap and she brought it up to look at her reflection again, almost not recognizing herself.

Her mouth gaped as she took in the stranger who glared back at her through the mirror, and she realized that it was herself. This was what morphing did to a person. Her bone structure was still there, the sharp of her cheekbones and the flat of her nose. She could still see the pitch black arch of her brows and the thick lining of her lashes, those she had not changed. She bared her teeth at the mirror and found those were the same, and the red of her gums looked too dark compared to the human complexion that she now wore. She was still innately Lani, she had not changed the structure of her face, she had simply changed the colors. She wore blue eyes and crimson hair and the pale pink skin of the Inarta now. She was Lani, she was just different. And everything she wore had been a product of Narth. It was his eyes, and his hair that she wore. She had tried to mimic his skin tone but did not do as well of a job. Although she had been able to change the structure of her hair and wondered if the same could be achieved with the structure of her face.

But she had lost grasp on the magic, and it retreated back into the clay block in her stomach, warm and ready to be used again, but it was easier to stop once she had given herself a break. And so now this Inarta mimic looked back at her in the mirror, and her earlier panic eased too. She was simply some Inarta laying with another Inarta, and nothing more. Narth had not given her the mirror.

She set the uncomfortable gift down beside her table and laid back down. She would have to find a way to get rid of it without him noticing. And she would have to find a way to get rid of him without him noticing. Whatever Narth thought he felt for her was wrong, and she refused to return any of these emotions to him. Lani picked up a strand of her now curly and red hair and pet it, turning to face Narth and compare the color of her hair to his. He was still snoring his heart out, but it was no longer a nuisance to the girl. She was exhausted, and Lani was long gone. For now she was just the half-Inarta resting beside her Endal lover, and she could suspend the misery for one more night, and then she could cut him free.