Timestamp: 20th of Spring, 519 A.V.
Sunberth was dark, damp, and stormy. And while Kelski was a creature of the skies, she liked them fair and sunny with a breeze laced in salt and brine. All she could smell was acrid smoke from the slag heap. Kelski didn’t mind the night, or her Night Mother’s comforting shadows. But this darkness, for some reason, was filing her form and slipping into her as if following the pathways of her own sweat and sliding into her body the way her own water leaked out. Perched on the roof of The Midnight Gem, in human form, Kelski could only describe the sensation as crying in reverse. Her tear ducts almost burned with the need to shed the poison that seemed to inundate her body, plugging up all the ways she’d normally find release.
It was awful, choking, and made her taste death in her own throat and brought up weaknesses to the forefront of her mind she couldn’t begin to understand.
Kelski was painfully lonely. And that loneliness was flooding her entire psyche with the feeling of being unimportant and inconsequential to anyone and everyone. She felt small. In the darkness she felt her light frame shrink down even further as if her own flesh and bones were collapsing into themselves. If she sat where she was much longer, she’d simply wink out of existence and cease to exist. It augmented her feelings of being alone.
With the lonely came fear. To Kelski, the world wasn’t worth journeying through unless one had good friends and people she loved at her side. More and more she’d felt the need to retreat, to leave, to take what she’d earned here and move on. Move on to where though? Why? She’d never felt this low in her life. And it was because there were holes in her heart here. There were missing segments to her life she didn’t understand and didn’t much like. She’d tried to talk to Gilthas about it, but he’d only shook his head and said that once – when they’d first met – she’d felt different and he wasn’t going to enlighten her any further on the matter.
Perched on the roof, dressed in black leathers, and armed to the teeth, Kelski stared out over the seas and saw only more isolation, more loneliness, more need to take action. She wouldn’t stagnate in this pain. She wouldn’t dwell in this mental state. She couldn’t. It was too hard, to brutal and too bitter. Those things were alien to her and toxic to everything she stood for. She had to move, had to roam, and had to get the heat flowing from her again. She wanted to sweat… to make her legs and arms ache with exercise to push the toxic poison of darkness out of her. Kelski wanted to be among people. And though she’d never really felt part of them or particularly welcomed by them, she needed to be in a crowd.
The Gem reached out then, stroking at her mind, whispering to her.
You have me. I am here.
It wasn’t a comfort though, not in that moment, and not with that feeling of darkness invading her mind and swallowing her essence. She didn’t want to particularly reach out and touch The Midnight Gem either. She didn’t want to spread whatever was affecting her to The Gem itself either.
You have me. The voice said again… stronger, firmer, reminding her of a friend who was indeed calling her out on something she’d said being silly.
Kelski looked thoughtfully behind her, watching the city stretch out at The Midnight Gem’s back.
“Do you like it here?” She said out loud even as she avoided the connection, very conscious of the taint she was feeling in her mind, body, and even soul. Her eyes surveyed the city that flowed out behind her. There was such filth there, such decay, and she was struck again at how much Sunberth struck her as a giant monstrous beast lying dead upon the shore. The humans that infested it were like flesh eating beetles that slowly broke down the carcass. They didn’t care about the smell, the rot all around them, and all they cared about was their greed – filling their own stomachs and taking their own pleasures.
With you. Yes. Here? In this place? I am not attached. Much pain. Much death. I would not mind elsewhere if that was not so much so. I would miss the sea though. It and the winds are my friends. The Gem replied quietly, a low murmur in her mind.
The Sea Eagle was inclined to agree. She loved the sea too… so very much so. She wondered if that was a love she’d passed onto The Gem when she’d birthed it. Watching the waves was so much more soothing than watching the city. And she trusted the waves more, whereas putting her back to the city was never a good idea.
Kelski hated Sunberth. She once thought it could be saved. But she didn’t think that now… not with the essence of what the city was oozing into her very pores and spreading taint through her body, weighing her down and driving her fears and insecurities to the surface. It was such a tangible thing that the Kelvic was certain she couldn’t be wrong.
It drove her restlessness on. And she quickly rose, walked the length of the roof, and then walked down one eavesline until she jumped lightly from where the gutter overhung the balcony and landed lightly on her feet on the wood outside the living quarters.
Where do you go? The Midnight Gem asked.
Kelski grimaced. She hated the thought of linking and showing the building. She felt too unclean, too poisoned, to do more than answer verbally. So she simply answered out loud. “To the city… to walk. I’m too restless to stay here, to work…. Something… needs to be done. Something needs to be faced. I don’t know. I need people… and no one is home. Don’t tell Little Rhaus. He’ll ask and I want him home safe.” She said suddenly, took the steps three at a time, and took the steps two at a time dancing down off the balcony, walking around the house, and out into the street of Baroque Bay. She headed into the city, not sure where she was going to go.
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