Indecision (Solo)

[Tao]

Evening, 50th Winter, 510 Location: Surya Plaza When one of his colleagues at work had warned him that the winters in Lhavit were icy and punishing to the unwary, he had made the near fatal mistake of dismissing her concern as a silly trick on the unsuspecting foreigner. Fitting neatly under the category of unwary, he soon suffered for said mistake only a week later, when he awoke in the middle of the night to find himself near frozen to his futon after his tiny little hearth fireplace had gone out. The following day had consisted of a very hurried trip to the markets to stockpile on food, clothing and blankets. Many, many blankets. Back at Syliras, winter had always been mild, and more about slush and rain than frost and ice. At best, he had only had to wear a thicker, long sleeved shirt and maybe a leather jacket to keep warm there. Here, he was wearing two thick shirts on top of each other, a double pair of socks, and a large jacket lined with fleece that had been quite expensive, but was worth every kina the little old lady had squeezed out of him. It had even been fun to finally spend some of the cash that had been burning a hole in his pocket. The clothes were older and worn now, not exactly attractive by any shape of the imagination, but gods, he was warm. He had just finished working for the evening, carrying his uniform stuffed in his backpack. It smelt strongly of curry, given that that was all he had worked on that afternoon. Curry with vegetables, curry with fowl, curry with some sort of spice that burned his tongue when it came to taste testing. It had a very strong, distinct smell despite how the flavor varied, one that he wasn't particularly fond of. Normally, he mused, that would have bothered me more. But ever since the Midwinter Festival, every other problem seemed so... insignificant. The second the Festival popped into his head, he immediately doubled his pace and discarded the thought. He had been obsessing over what had happened for the last three days, and it was no doubt that distraction was what had got him placed on curry duty. Don't think about it. Knowing that if he returned to an empty home that his resolution would quickly slip from his fingers, Tao made an abrupt turn to the right instead of the left, making his way into Surya Plaza and towards the markets. He wasn't the only one heading off for a bit of late night shopping; it was rather typical for there to be a large crowd of people, all bargaining and chattering and as energetic as field mice.

[Tao]

The city glowed at night, and the stars were out. He had been around long enough to be assimilated into that aspect of their culture. He hadn't started out with a specific goal in mind as he began to make his way through the thongs of people, though now that he thought about it, he did have a few things on his wishlist. A new pair of pants was going to become a necessity if he didn't take care of it soon. It didn't take him long to locate a nice, functional pair of pants, marked down from their original price. Pleased with the quick discovery, he bought a nice belt with a fancy buckle with an etching of stars expertly carved into the metal from the same man. Adding them to his curry-stinking bag (while silently hoping that everyone who ordered curry that evening felt sick afterwards), he moved on to his less vital goal. The evening wore on into night as he browsed, wandering from stall to stall, store to store, eyeing up some of the more expensive clothing for men. It was mostly dissatisfying; the few tunics or shirts that he liked were sown for strong men with broad shoulders, and looked awful on his tiny, skinny frame. As the third seamstress so far coyly asked him if he'd like to try the children's range instead, he sighed and gave it up as a bust. “No, thank you.” He told her, barely a hitch in the Lhavitian, handing back the oversized tunic and picking up his bag. “Have a nice night.” “Of course, dear.” The old woman replied, smiling so that all the wrinkles on her face crinkled up. He smiled back at her despite his disappointment and went to head towards the exit. Something stopped him, then. Namely, he got the sleeve of his jacket caught on a display. He turned to dislodge it from the robe, careful not to cause any damage. It was a very nice robe, dyed a dark, midnight blue, with long sleeves and a heavy fleece lining on the interior to keep out the cold. It looked liked it would fit a person around his size. His fingers brushed over the outer material; silk, and fine quality silk at that. No doubt it would be expensive. “...This, ah, robe...” He turned back to the seamstress, deciding to shake a vague feeling of 'want' with the sharp slap of reality that would be the price. “Oh, that old thing? Let's say five kina.” She hobbled up to the front of the store, eyes twinkling at him merrily as she patted down the item in question. He gaped for a second at how... curiously affordable it was. “It would fit you better than those tunics, my dear.” The old woman added over the top of his startled silence. “It's... girly.” He replied, wrinkling his nose, but the complaint was a weak one, and both of them knew it. He had the money to spare... and it was nice. He had never really bought something nice before, just for the sake of having it. “So, shall I wrap it up for you, dear?” The old woman asked, a crooked grin flashing on her face as he reached for kinas in his pocket. A few moments later, he was carrying the robe out in his arms, wrapped in tissue paper to protect the delicate silk. PricesWool Jacket: 1 kina 2 shirts: 2 jade kina 4 Blankets: 2 kina Leather belt: 2 jade kina Fancy Buckle: 1 kina Leather pants: 8 jade kina Robe: 5 kina Total: 10 kina, 2 jade kina

[Tao]

Night, 50th Winter 510 Location: Solar Wind Apartments, A15 Why did I do that? He had long since returned home after his shopping trip, putting away his new clothing (except for the wrapped robe, which he had left on his futon) and cooking himself a small meal over the hearth. The fire merrily crackled and popped, filling the room with a soft orange glow and much need warmth, playing tricks with the shadows on the walls. Tao sat on his futon, wrapped up firmly in his blankets, holding the package he had impulsively bought in his arms. Part of him wanted to open it, to run the soft silk through his hands and be content that the garment was his. Perhaps it would have been easier to do if it didn't feel like that one impulsive buy was so out of character for him. I've never just bought things before. Father taught me to be careful with the money that I had. I didn't need this. Why did I do that? What felt more depressing was the fact that he knew exactly why he had done such a thing, and wasn't even fooling himself. It was much easier, after all, to agonize over a simple robe than it was to consider his real predicament. With an annoyed growl, he threw the package aside so that it struck the side of the wall with a quiet thump and turned his back on it, lying back down under the protection of his blankets. The apartment became quiet but for the crackling of the fire. He stared at the flames a while, wishing that sleep would come and knowing that it wouldn't. There were too many questions, too many branches of life ahead of him. Only a week ago, his greatest prospect had been to get a raise at work. Now... There may be a chance, if you are interested, in joining this order. Stop thinking about it. He gritted his teeth and rolled onto his back. I see that you have clouded your mind with self-destructive thoughts. Stop thinking about it. You believe you’re not worthy of her attention? Stop thinking about it! What did you intend to find? “Stop thinking about it!” He growled aloud at himself, shaking his head and sitting up. Rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hand, he mentally resigned himself to not getting much sleep tonight, either. Ever since the festival, the old man Atanu's words had been echoing in his mind, whenever he had a spare moment. The possibilities that he had offered him were great; a chance to serve the stars, a chance for a new life, a chance for someone he could look up to and trust, like his father. The thought of his father brought a hand automatically to the chain around his neck; the tiny locket tucked under his shirt where it couldn't be seen and wouldn't get in the way. What would his father have thought about this? What would he have said about him coming to Lhavit in the first place, taking that huge risk and squandering the majority of the savings that had been left to him? There's a world out there, Tao. One that has fallen apart but is rebuilding, and it is beautiful. There's a place in it for you, where you will be happy. Find it. “But...” How could I want to start a new life if it means replacing you? The night was long, and he did not sleep. Instead, his thoughts span around and around in his head, giving him no respite and no resolution.

[Ophelia]

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Thread Award. ‎‎<3 ‎ ‎EXPERIENCE.‎ ‎+1 Cooking ‎LORES.‎ Freezing to your futon The smell of curry Window shopping Buying nice things for the sake of it Inner debate New life versus father’s memory ‎ADDITIONAL NOTES.‎ Tao, I am such a fan of your threads, and this was no let down. Brilliant work, as always. Touching. Don't forget to subtract 10 kina, 2 jade kina from your ledger! ‎Don't hesitate to pm me with questions, queries, or anything else!‎ Love,‎ Ophelia <3

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