The Great Escape [Seliarus]

[Nidassasyae]

OOCIndeed. Now, on to the training? "Oof!" The air was knocked of the Kelvic as she felt the weight of her Bondmate suddenly landing atop her. Breathless, Nida didn't stand a chance. She was, once again, lying in the snow. Only now it was the weight of the Dhani above her that was pressing her against the ground. Pinning her quite effectively. Her arms were stuck to her sides as Seliarus wrapped his hands around her. The Kelvic couldn't move, could hardly breathe as he pressed himself against her. Panic abruptly flared in her eyes as the full emotions of being trapped settled in on her. No movement, no room to breath, no escape. For a moment, she seemed entirely animal, straining against his hold on her, trying to break free. Nida had to get loose! But the moment passed, and her kicking and flailing had all been to no avail. The danger here wasn't claustrophobia, as her instincts had told her. It was Seliarus, his very closeness to her. The glare he leveled at her was so filled with denial and vitriol, it all confused her. She returned it with a look full of pure desperation. Nida struggled against him again, a token effort. Her usual tactic wouldn't work. As she was currently nude, there were no clothes he would be gripping, therefore, nothing that she could shrug out of, leaving him holding empty articles of clothing while she made her escape. While he'd probably be too fast for that to work, Nida still would have liked to take the easy way out. "Sel. You need to let me go," she whispered. "I can't... we... it's too dangerous. You saw what happened... back there." Nida knew that words wouldn't work. He wouldn't let her go, not for anything she said. No, perhaps if she told him she didn't love him. Perhaps if she knew how to break the Bond. But Nida couldn't do either of those things. She owed it to Seliarus not to lie, and even if she did, he'd be able to see the truth. The Bond would show him that much. And to break the Bond? Nida didn't even know how, much less if she ever possessed the strength to. But being pinned down by her Bondmate left very few other choices. A thought flashed through her mind, reminding her of an event not too long ago. A reminder of how easily he was subdued when they'd kissed the first time. They were both very new to love, and perhaps Nida could use that to her advantage. But she knew she'd have to hear him out, to try and talk him out of this first. Nida was none too willing to play that card just yet.

[Seliarus]

Everything was collapsing. Yes, everything he tried to achieve, everything he saw in the future, crumbled to dust, if nothing else. This wasn't happening. His assumption was right. She really did, and still does, want to get away from him. It seemed like the 'promise' she gave him wasn't actually going to be followed. Yes, that did hurt. Like countless needles stabbed into his chest. Why. He did trusted here. Maybe he was naive, maybe he was attached to the person in his arms too quick. too soon. Yes, that was the cause. Then again, thinking back, it was she who asked for the bond. Who wanted it. Who crawled for it. Was he really going to let someone play with his emotions like that? It would be easier for both of them if she would simply kill him on the spot. The pain would be much smaller that way. His heart wouldn't be bleeding that much as well. No. Why was this happening, he did not know. Or, maybe he did, but didn't want to believe. But, what was real in his head at the moment anyways. Everything was in utter chaos. She could struggle as much as she'd want, but he wouldn't let go. he did, however, lift himself a bit up, so she could breath, but, he'd keep her hands at her sides, and one leg placed over hers, so she wouldn't be able to kick him off, even if she had the chance. He hoped it wouldn't go that far, but, his so called Bondmate proved that more now, that what he thought, what he felt, wasn't important anymore. So, he shouldn't listen to what he wants, but look at it the way it is, as painful as it might be. "...I need to?" He'd repeat. A mixture of both fear, sadness and anger in his words. He needed to? Really? Why should he need to do that? Why should he let her go? "No, I don't...Need to..." He'd repeat, harshly. Hissingly. "...I told you thisss before... And, Nida...Lisssten, I'm telling you oncsse more. Before we bonded...You ssssaid that you don't know what will happen, and how dangerousss it might get...Yesss? Yess. And what did I reply on that? Get a hold on yourssself and tell me..." He'd pause for a moment, but, no, he wasn't going to let her answer. "I sssaid I would be ready for anything. If caring for you happensss to kill me, then I wont complain. But, I won't let you leave. You sssaid you need to protect me. Protecting me from you?" He'd continue, as he kept looking at her. "And who then will protect me from everything elssse in this cursssed world? Who? Who'sss going to protect me from the lonelinessss? From the void your departure would bring? From the pain? Who?" He'd pause for a moment, taking a deep breath. Yes, he had to calm down. He shouldn't let his emotions take over. He needed control. SHE was his control...it appeared like he was losing his control, as fast as he was looking his Bondmate. Deadly combination. And yet, it appeared like Nida didn't care at all. Was he just imagining, or...Was that true? Oh, Siku, please, don't say it is true. "No...I don't want that you leave. I don't give one bit what kind of danger comesss over me if you ssstay by my ssside. I'm ready to take the risssk. You leave... And we both will regret it."

[Nidassasyae]

OOCbreak my heart, why don't you?! Nida bit her lip so hard that it bled, feeling his distrust come through the Bond. That was what broke her, what hurt her beyond belief. Distrust. For all that she'd trusted him, given herself completely to him, believed in him... it was all gone. Just like that, the feelings were unrequited. Or at least, they seemed to be. Did he hate her? No, not yet. But Seliarus might as well have said that, for all the confusion that filled her. The deep seated need to please overwhelmed her, and Nida was unable to ignore what it was that made her a Kelvic. She needed to staunch the steady flow of his pain. Shocked by it all, Nida made no move to struggle, lying perfectly still. He was too tormented for her to dump her own emotions on him. Perhaps if she could just listen, not react, then they could carry a true conversation. It was her one last chance at talking him out of it. But she was a creature of action, of passion. Her attempts to withhold her emotions from her expression failed miserably. At the first harsh repetition of "I need to", Nida winced. But he went on. It was nothing new, the entire concept having already been told to her. By him. But it wasn't the words that ripped away any 'logical' decision to leave. It was the tone, the voice, the emotions pouring through the Bond. Utter chaos. When he stopped speaking, Nida's eyes were filled with tears. Regret, pure and simple, would come to him through the Bond. Her own emotion. She knew he'd not approve of her leaving, but this? She still had a lot to learn about the depths of people's emotions. It was so different, so complex. Nothing like the simple life of an animal. Not in the least. Tentatively, she slipped one hand out of his grasp. Moving slowly, so as to not alarm him, Nida lightly brushed against his Chevas mark. It was habit, a tender gesture that she'd done since they'd received those marks. Though she could not begin to understand what marriage is, there was one thing that she did know about the significance of those vows. Duty. She'd vowed, and that was not something she should break. Not that he was about to allow her to break those vows. "I know you'd take that risk," Nida whispered, the sound easily heard since the distance between them was so small. "But I don't know if I can. I would rather live a hundred lifetimes without you, than to be the cause of your demise. I can't. And I know you don't... agree... with that opinion." "And I already regret it, Sel. I regret what I've done. Regret. I would be whomever you ask me to be. Kill whoever you ask me to kill. Do whatever you want me to do. But I cannot sit and bide my time until you die. No. So promise me that you'll defend yourself when that time comes, that you won't simply let my instincts govern us. Swear it by Siku. And I'll stop running, I'll never leave your side, if that's what you wish. Before all this, I was your woman, Seliarus. I could be again. All it takes it a promise, and I swear it on my life, I'll never leave you. No matter how much I think it would be the right thing to do, to protect us."

[Seliarus]

Everything happened a tad too fast for the Dhani's liking, that was obvious. Too much information, worries, and such, enter his mind, leaving him all clogged up, without a real way of thinking straight. He was the wrong person, after all. That thought echoed trough his mind. The wrong one, after all. And nothing he did, nothing he said, could change that. Here was that proof. A sigh escaped his lips, as he looked down at her. Yes, just as he feared. her words, 'need to' were simply deepening everything. Maybe they were spoken in whispers, but, he could hear very well. Though, for all he wanted, maybe not hearing it would be a better option. No, why should he even bottler. It would only hurt him more in the process. He felt her hand, trailing across his neck, but, this was not the moment for a gentle touch. Deep inside, he didn't even want to be touched anymore, even though a part of him cried for it. He'd push his upper body up, releasing his grasp, and go sit on his knees in the snow, only inches away from her. Yes, there it is. if she wanted to run, she could go ahead. It was still cold around, so, if Sel would simply stay here for around half an hour, without movements, yes, all this pain would get away, as he'd fall asleep. Even though not waking up anymore. But, at least, something will be gone. He'd hung his head down, and closed his eyes. No, he was strong enough to withstand the urge to cry, sob, or whimper. To yell out his frustration out. he did nothing, but to simply sat there, and wait. Of course, his Bondmate, or, just, Kelvic, as he saw her at that moment, went on. Went on on how running away, and leaving him alone is the only option. Maybe, she didn't exactly mean that, it sure did sound like that. A yet another sigh escaped his lips. Promise? He should promise? Promise like she did, and then simply broke it the very same moment she had the opportunity? The word 'promise' didn't exist for him anymore. In this world, what is a promise anyways. Some half empty sentence about someone doing, or, not doing, something. He needed no promise, he needed no swear, for this type of thing she asked him to. Then again, it might be the only way she would stay with him, as much betrayal as he did felt, he still loved her. It was the sole reason why everything hurt so much. Tipping his head upwards, and opening his eyes, he'd look at Nida once again. If she wouldn't ran away till now, and hid somewhere, she would still be lying there. And, if she would, the Dhani simply kept looking at her. Sure, he would defend himself, but, then again, was that really what he wanted? Caught in the moment, he really did not mind being slaughtered right here on the spot. By whomever. Her offer sure would be tempting, but, he just couldn't believe it. it was all too good to be true. No, he couldn't. Saying yes now, would only deeper his pain later on. Then again, he would much more rather go trough pain later, if she would stay for a while longer. Promises, b'ah, they meant nothing. not to him, and he also had the thought, not to an animal. a Kelvic like her. He might of be wrong, but he didn't want to test that. There was no time. "I ssswear it." He said, his voice just as cold as the moment the two meet, numerous miles away. At that lake where everything began.

[Nidassasyae]

Nida didn't understand what was happening, she couldn't. Wrong decision after wrong decision. Despite the Bond, Nida couldn't know what it was he wanted of her. She was scared, she was frightened, and most of all, the Kelvic fully felt the weight of the guilt drop down upon her. Suffocating and restraining her more than the weight of her Bondmate ever could. This wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to be this way. They'd won. Nida always knew that They would eventually. But not this soon. Not this way. Something inside her just snapped, broke into a million pieces. Seliarus was right. Promises meant nothing to her, vague concepts like 'Love' were little more than human words, decisions were trumped by instinct. But there was one thing that she could understand. And that was guilt. The fact that she'd done something terribly and irreparably wrong. Promises meant nothing. But the need to please him did mean something. It was everything. All she had was Nehsmay and Seliarus. But the former's needs had long ago been replaced by the latter's. To the Kelvic, Seliarus was everything. It was no sentimental notion, but a fact of what she was. Not who she was. It was what she'd been bred to do, created to do. The creature who rejected any ideas of servitude or loss of freedom wanted nothing more than to please her master. And she'd done the exact opposite. Perhaps Seliarus didn't understand this need that fueled her. That dictated every action she made. But that did not lessen its hold on her. "I'm so sorry," Nida whispered, not reacting to his promise. It was a word, you couldn't trust them. It hurt, not to trust him with this. But his... attachment... to her prohibited such ideas of perhaps killing her, or so Nida assumed. The Kelvic would lie there in the snow, shivering slightly from the continuous exposure on her bare skin, not daring to get up. Not wanting to. She'd seen the look in his eyes, the betrayed and haunted look that lingered in those black depths. She'd felt it through the Bond. Perhaps it didn't occur to him that what he was now feeling was ripping through her as well. Perhaps it didn't occur to the Dhani that she experienced whatever pain coursed through him. He wasn't alone. But he seemed to want to be. She didn't dare touch him, try to coax him up from the snow. Nida'd only been alive for two years, hardly enough to understand what this all was. But he'd expected her to, and her failing to do so only distressed her. Nida knew he did not want her touch.

[Seliarus]

Secret : Right, so sorry about that. I know you want to drag me to hell for the wait, but...Think on the Children! ...What? The cold chilling feeling on his knees, was not the only thing aching from pain. He just, didn't know what else to do. Only now did he realize, that the attachment to her, could almost be considered dangerous. His right hand got send to meet the snow underneath him, lightly gripping onto a hand-full of snow, and then make a fist with his palm, squeezing the snow. Due to the heat that made, it started to lose it's color. It's whiteness. it's form, until, a few moments passed. Then, only drops of water were left in return, who dripped out of his fingers, and into nothingness of the landscape. Exactly like the snow, he felt he was loosing her. -Her-. Was that really something he could accept? Probably not. "All I want, Nida..." he decided to speak, and break the silence that was wrapping the both of them into a thick fog of feelings. "Isss that you sstay with me. Anything elssse...is irrelevant. I can take care of myself. I did for the past hundred yearsss." He'd spoke, closing his eyes for only a slight moment. "But I do not want to be alone again." That was everything he said. Even though there was more. From begging to stay with him, to raging, and probably hurting both of them again. No, he locked out everything else. Every feeling. Every other wish. "If you want to leave, Nida. You can...I am not ssstopping you. If you want to ssstay, then do so. The decisssion, my dear, isss up to you. Not me. not the Bond. Not anyone else. You."

[Nidassasyae]

OOCNaw, it's fine. Sure... WHAT? *peers suspiciously at him* What are you trying to get at, ser?!

Nida sat up as he broke the silence. She'd already given up on this, it was all useless. The Kelvic knew she didn't have the strength to leave him. What was she thinking? That it was for the best, Nida told herself. That he would forget. That this could all end.

But it couldn't end. She'd heard him speak, telling her what it was that he wanted. That was enough to break her, not counting the unusual persuasion of the Dhani as he'd pinned her down and tried to stop her with words. It seemed almost out of a tale. A sad, tragic tale. The kind of tale that her Kelvic sister could not abide by. This couldn't be real. Things like this just didn't happen to people, and certainly not to Nida. She'd never seen this attempted escape coming, not through the haze of paranoia and affection.

This was no time for whispers of reluctance. He wanted an answer. A specific answer. And just she'd realized long ago, Nida could not deny him anything. Even if he said the decision was up to her. Even if, in theory, it was.

But it wasn't. It never had been.

"I want-" Her voice surprised her, sending the shivering young woman wincing at that raspy sound. "I want... I want it to be as it was. You and I. Without Them. But They'll be here. And I stay. With you." There. The pattern was back. The smoke that constantly encroached upon the borders of her mind came out of its hiding place, returning to plague her once more.

"Anything else. Is irrelevant," she smiled weakly, peering up at her Bondmate through her mane of tangled raven hair. Looking for all the world like a confused and lost child, sitting in the snow with naught but blue paint to cover her body.

[Seliarus]

Secret : Ooh..NOTHING, nothing. Something slipped from my tongue. <3 Btw, this one will be short (again) , so, sowweh. She once spoke of running away. She once did. When there was once, it could happen again. The Dhani knew that. He understood that far too well. Then again, it was something worth fighting for, even if the result was already known. "They, Nida. If you run, they win. If you think about them, they will win. If you worry, they win again. They, yesss. If you want sssomething, you will take it from them. You're stronger, even though they are many, and you are one. You're the huntresssss, Nida. You're going to kill them. One, by one, in the name of Sssiku. And I will be there, to help you." He spoke that out loud, even though cold, as before. They, were obviously the humans who the Dhani hated so much. He saw how Nida changed. it must be that. Fear. But, the Dhani hated the fear. Violence, was the only answer he knew. Sure, go ahead. Let them call him, monster.

[Nidassasyae]

OOCUh huh... <3. Dun worry, it's no prob. Hey, let's wrap this up?

The Kelvic's brows raised in disbelief. Sel knew of Them? Of course he did, her Bondmate seemed to know everything that went on inside her head. And yet, did he understand it? No, no it seemed not. Not even she could interpret much of the swirling jumble of thoughts. That took too long. Better to act upon instinct than to try and draw on more civilized methods.

And so Nida did something unexpected, something that went against the situation at had, influenced solely by the words Seliarus had used.

She laughed.

It was not a giggle, nor a wild burst of utter abandon. It was simply a chuckle, nothing more, nothing less. Yet it managed to convey a sense of disbelief, of confusion, and a certain knowing. A knowledge of his lack of understanding, that perhaps, Nida might just know more than her century old husband.

Oh yes. She knew much more of her own shadow fears than he did. Perhaps he had his own? Everyone did.

"They will win, in the end. All life dies. All withers. Back to the soil. Back to the dust. It's borrowed time, my love. Borrowed. And in the end, we have to return it." There was conviction in her tone, belief in what she said. But just breaking the surface of that was sadness, resignation, and hopelessness. All men die. All Kelvic. All Dhani. All Vantha.

All.

But her seat was growing chill, and the hour late. They'd need to be on their way once again, alongside the Vantha. Walking as if nothing had ever happened. As if it were all a nightmare.

Nidassasyae moved closer to Seliarus, kneeling by his side and slightly behind him. He was violence, he was reason. He was an intoxicating poison. And yet so much more: her Bondmate, her protector, her lover, that which she depended upon. And maybe, just maybe, she acted as those same things for him.

"Do we go? Nothing is the same now. But. The road." Her hand reached out, the ever nagging need to touch him forcing an internal struggle. It hovered beside his shoulder, as if about to tap him to remind him of the journey. The coldness of his voice was like a warning to her, but the feline part of her, the part that yearned for companionship, was clashing against it.

[Seliarus]

Secret : Sure thing. The Dhani closed his eyes. A soft sigh escaped his lips. Which then parted in a slight, barely seen, grin, and as his tongue travelled across his lips, just like tasting the air around him, he spoke, once more. Ignoring the laugh that happened. "You think that changesss my point, Nida?" He looked at her, his expression was a mixture of irony, an angry glare, and understanding. "I never sssaid we will win. But, that doesssn't mean I will simply give up. Borrowed time, yesss. But, if you give up now, asss you jussst wanted, isss there nothing worth living for? Sssomething worth fighting for?" He looked at her again, closing his eyes again. On his soaked lips, the cold breeze left a faint feeling of cold, a known feeling of pain. Nothing changed, or so it seemed. A faint 'Heh' escaping his lips as he spoke the last part out, as of laughing at life itself. "Yesss, I will die, one day. Maybe not today, maybe not in a month, but one day. But, until that day comesss, I'll make sssure 'they' wont brake me. Nobody sssaid giving the borrowed time back will happen freely." He simply said, not used on speaking like that, but, he used her own words, and tried to explain his way. In his inner, he knew his words wont change anything. He hoped they would, but, since when was his 'hope' asked for. And then, his eyes opened fully, as he gazed upon his Bondmate once more. Beautiful, as always. Lost, as always. His, once more. He stood up, and dusted some of the snow away from him. "Yesss, we go, Love. We go." He'd simply add, as, somewhere in the distance, the cold wind raced closer to the two. That, however reminded him on something. It was still cold. [END]