[Alvena's Scrapbook] Fats Are Cat When They're Cool

[Alvena Celandine]

I actually found the scrapbook area of the sites super nifty from the start of me joining the forum recently, but I was trying to hold off from making one until I finished with my exams. Turns out I couldn't wait, because right now I should be studying for math but yeah, I'm irresponsible. I also told myself I wouldn't install Sims: Generations before I finished. I guess I just get kicks out of lying to myself, or something. Perhaps I should dedicate this little freewriting session to Mizahar itself. It wasn't hard to find this place; it was pretty much number 1 roleplay site when I looked it up, and my hipster senses weren't tingling so I was like: "most popular? fack yeah," and then I just started reading through the lore as the home page dictated it was absolutely necessary. It had a similar effect to when I read Wikipedia articles; I just kept clicking related links and reading a bunch of stuff. The races were freaking rad. The only thing that might sadden me a tad is the fact that Mizahar is adamant on staying as far away from mythology as possible, although I came to love the original flavor of this place that stemmed from that philosophy. I'm obsessed with mythology IRL, much less the greeks but rather the Arab, Egyptian and Far east mythology interest me more. The Greeks were just sex addicts in the form of really, really, really long soap opera. They're still pretty nifty though, but I don't bother to keep track of all their babies. I also plan on having fun with the background boxes is a tad. in RP, I feel like I have to keep that sort of thing consistent and that has to fit with my character. I'd like to experiment.

[Vala]

Hey Alvena, I think in curt lists... I hope you don't mind if I write as such. 1. Sims. I was already in love with you after the first paragraph. 2. I should probably be studying for my own dang math final... 2a. Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow! 3. Mythology. The love from 1. has been multiplied by 5. 3a. I fell in love with Egyptian culture and was obsessed with them for about 8 years of my childhood. 3b. Greeks - true that. 3c. Maybe we should work together to get some Mizahar 'myths' written up 4. You should come to Wind Reach 5. Seriously 6. Come to Wind Reach. 7. If you do, I promise many fun threads, a couple boring ones, maybe a handful of meh ones, and every once in a while, a really really awesome one that just blows your mind. Happy Postings, Vala

[Alvena Celandine]

Vala, your listspeak makes me giddy. I was introduced to Egyptian mythology in english class in middle school, and everyone called me a nerd when I read the book twice. Creating mizahar myths was one of the first things I thought of when I got here, and it seems so natural since news goes by word of mouth to begin with. I wasn't sure how to go about it though -- We should totally write up Mizahar myths! You will be very glad to hear that I'm already planning to have Alvena go to Wind Reach, and may she show up around the 20th, according to the little travel group I intend to have her join .

[Alvena Celandine]

Made a lil' doodle of Alvena, thought I'd share.

[Alvena Celandine]

It wasn't my intention upon creating this scrapbook to say anything that was of particular importance to me, but as I said before, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I intend, usually. I've never been a big believer of the whole "letting it out" easing the pain of emotions. I don't like talking about it and when I do I end up regretting it. But maybe, considering right now I can't see my audience if there is an audience at all, I couldn't really regret spilling my emotional problems out. It's pretty much a dream, a dream that didn't bother me until the day before yesterday, but now I can't get it out of my head since this is the third recurrence (can you say recurrence? I've never used recurrence). The settings a bit different every time, but it's always the same thing essentially. My mother is somewhere I'm expected to be, and I desperately try to get there but can't. the first time I woke up in tears. I've always believed I passed my mourning phase over her loss three years ago, but every time I have that dream it just freaks me out, like I'll never be able to talk about her to people and look them in the eye. I wonder if the rest of my family is still going through this. I can't get over the fact that even though I've watched countless amounts of cheesy movies telling you that ghosts and bringing back the dead is a terrible thing, I would do it for her any day of the week. Most of the time I can get by quite easily without thinking too much about her. If I just get on with my day, do something that keeps me busy. But when I have time to myself and nothing in particular to think about, my thoughts drift. I look so much like her, but to me she was so much more beautiful than I can ever be. She had an amazing personality too. If I look at the few accomplishments I have, I wish more than anything else that she could be there to praise me for it. And once I'm done with crying like total idiot for long enough, I feel like shit because that's the most intense emotion I feel during my days. Shouldn't I be doing something amazing with the life she gave me? I want to do something exhilarating, something that changes what I think of myself. But whenever I do try to change something about myself, I back down at the first emotional obstacle. If I try to go out for a run, I turn back because people stare at me weirdly, those dickheads who keep whistling at me like they've never seen a freaking girl in their life. If I try to go to a bar, I get too pissed off to even think clearly because they ask me for my ID, expecting anything I hand them to be a fake because I look so much damn younger. People in my school who always undermine my judgement because my train of thought is the complete opposite of theirs. All this crap that people would call a lame excuse if I told them, what I myself believe is a lame excuse but am completely unable to ignore. Who cares what people think about you, some people say. I fucking care, and so do the people who think they don't care. I myself am not going to be in denial all my life thinking that I don't care what people think about me, because it's a fact I can't ignore. Oh and by the way I didn't re-read this, so apologies in advance from grammatical error and all that stuff.

[Vala]

Hey you. I’m stalking your scrapbook again... Lists. Again? I shouldn’t have. But I did… 1. I liked your last entry 2. It made me think 3. Kinda gave me inspiration to write an entry of my own 4. But my fingers are numb from playing stupid video games a friend got me hooked on 5. Too numb to write a proper entry 6. Telling you I was still stalking you seemed like more fun 7. It’s 3 in the morning where I am right now 8. About the same time I first stumbled onto Miza 9. I digress 10. About what other people think of you… a. Again… true that 11. Those guys are stupid. a. You should stick an arrow in ‘em 12. My brain hurts 13. I’m pretty sure I sound like an idiot right now… 14. This list will be wrapped up by number 15 15. I really liked your ‘doodle’, way better than some people’s ((me)) ‘art’ 16. I lied 17. 19 is a better number 18. ‘Doodle’ me a picture of Vala? 19. Pwwwease P.S. I didn’t re-read this either… I sounded like an idiot didn’t I? Don’t hate me… :3