Freedom's Weight [Sitkanis]

[Lysander]

Lysander remained quiet as Sitkanis explained his own unfortunate fall, eyes locked on the shorter Ethaefal. There was something in his voice. Something Lysander could understand, despite not having experienced such a traumatic fall from grace. As the pair wandered through the Labyrinth and Lysander learned of the unfortunate soul Sitkanis couldn't save, he wanted to assure him that such things were out of his hands. It wasn't his fault the girl killed herself - no, if he had saved her then, she just would have made another attempt to end her life. For a moment, Lysander considered himself lucky. He had practically fallen into this man's life. A life that seemed dark, a life scorned by clouded memories and lost love. Leth's ends were definitive, but his means were mysterious. There had to be a reason he had slipped out of the Ukalas; a reason that Sitkanis was putting his heart, soul, and deepest fears into a quiet confession within a bell of meeting him. "I used to," the words came with a sense of loss on Sitkanis' part. The way he spoke of sleeping with his lover in the past-tense lead the boy to believe that she was no longer with him. Lysander immediately wanted to apologize, but forced himself to remain quiet, pensive; it was not his time to speak. Another flash of a smile that nearly broke Lysander's heart. Sitkanis' hardened, tear-filled gaze sent a shiver to Lysander's very core before he seemed to shut it off completely with an abrupt end to his confessions. There was no need to ask any questions, no need to even comment. A mutual understanding lingered in the night air. Sitkanis had shown Lysander a softer Ethaefal, a side of him that held dark, disturbing secrets, simply to make Lysander feel better about his own situation. That side of him was reined in as quickly as he had let it out, without a chance for Lysander to respond. Sympathy was obviously not the goal of the Ethaefal. Thank you. The words never passed audibly through his lips, and he made no motion to reach out and touch Sitkanis; as badly as he wanted to pull the man into a hug and let emotion flow in an explosive sobbing display, it would do no good. "I would like for you to be there when I change." Lysander admitted with a small smile. The thought of shrinking back into that gawky, ugly child's form after Leth had given him this beautiful body to bask in during his celestial reign made his heart sink. Was it going to hurt? It hadn't when he was in the fisherman's boat, but it had nearly knocked him unconscious. It was overwhelming. "I have nowhere to sleep anyway, unless sleeping in this place is okay with your Denvali priests." A self-depreciating smile tightened on Lysander's lips as he whispered. "Besides, I would not want to cut this walk short. It's beautiful here." The smell of sweet flora lingered in the air as they neared the center of the Labyrinth. Lysander stopped in his tracks, bare feet curling against the ground. That smell. There was something disturbingly familiar about the mix of flowers and herbs that tickled his nose. His arms loosened and dropped to his sides and his knees went weak. "Careless!" A gruff voice boomed. The smell was unbearable, gangrene had set in on the fighter's broken leg. Despite his attempts to cover it with flowers, the smell of rotting flesh had forced the boy to wretch and lose his meager lunch on the granite floor. Bloodied bandages fell from weakened fingers and tears burned on the boy's cheeks. "I can't do it!" "That's because you set it wrong. He's going to die, and it's your petchin' fault! Worthless boy. This is going to cost me." Something stung against the boy's back, forcing him to his knees, his face revisiting the puddle of bile and half-digested bread as he hunched over in pain. "Fetch me my sword, so I can put this man out of his misery." Lysander's lips opened and closed a few times, nothing but air escaping him and his pupils grew large, eclipsing golden irises. He said nothing. He didn't have to.

[Sitkanis]

Sitkanis was thankful Lysander did not try to venture further into the story of Adalia. He wanted to forget about her. If only her memory could be as cloudy as those of his past life. He would have gladly traded every thought of her for just one clear glimpse into his past. Things did not work like that though. Memories were not items that one could trade freely. "I would have lost her regardless. Not even Konti can live as long as an Ethaefal." He looked into the sky, his eyes falling softy over Leth. "We don't age so we cannot die because we are old. Only from sickness or injury." He was not sure his newfallen brethren knew that fact but he voiced it regardless. It made Sitkanis feel complacent when Lysander told him he wanted him to stay with him for the night. He liked to feel needed even if he put off the air that he wanted to be alone. He offered a small smile in return. "It is not that bad to change back. In my case my body is overcome by a wave of… lights." He could not get himself to say they were sparkles. "It feels pretty much the same as changing into your night form so if you lived through that you will live through going back to the way you were during the day." He looked forward to the morning. He would be a Drykas again and more importantly he would no longer be shorter than his new acquaintance. He could not deny that he was curious about what the boy looked like in Syna's light. He almost asked but instead he stayed silent. He would know soon enough. "I've never heard of someone sleeping in the Labyrinth but I'm sure it is frowned upon." He looked around the Labyrinth as if he was trying to see Zahari again. The old man was much more wise than he was and clearly was better at talking to people. "Are you tired?" He could not remember if he had been tired when he fell. Too much had happened that night. The smile on Sitkanis' lips got a little wider, turning into an almost wolfish smirk. "It is beautiful. This Labyrinth is my favorite place in the city. I never took Adalia here but… I like it." He looked a Lysander, hoping that the smile was still on his face. If he was still smiling after falling maybe he could push Adalia out of his mind. At least for the time being. Lysander looked distant, an almost disconnected look took over his golden eyes. "He just be having his first flashback." Sitkanis waited patiently. Memories, even if they were hazy, were worth more than gold to Ethaefal. At least that is how Sitkanis felt. When Lysander seemed to return to himself Sitkanis felt as though he should say something. He was not sure what to say though. Should he recount his first flashback? Perhaps it was safer just to ask the boy if he was okay. "Are you okay?" He found it safe to assume that the boy was thinking about his memories. Of course, there really was no way to tell for sure. "What are you seeing. You do not have to tell me but at times it helps to talk about it. That way if you forget the person you told can remind you." He did not want to scare Lysander but he felt as though he should warn him about what had just happened to him. "There will be more flashbacks. They never stop coming. I don't know if that is good or bad. It seems to be… painfully insightful in my experience."

[Lysander]

Lysander's yellowed eyes remained wide and unblinking while Sitkanis spoke to him, the flashback, as he called it, still vivid in his mind. The smell of rotting flesh and the pain against his back had all seemed so real. That's because it was real. "I'm fine, I..." he brought up a good point. It was best to get it out in the open before the memory melted away, as they had before. At least, he thought they had. Lysander cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. If there were anyone more fit on this realm to listen to him speak, it was Sitkanis. They were one in the same. That thought calmed him and the warm smile returned to his once vacant face. Lysander looked so innocent, so childish when he smiled. If only his memories were as innocent as horses running in a field of grass. "It wasn't a good memory. I was in a small room. It smelled terrible. So bad I threw up. There were two other men there, one I could see and one I couldn't but - faces, I don't remember faces." He shook his head. There were no names, either. Not even his own. "I was being yelled at for not properly healing a man's wound, and he was in agony. His leg was rotting while he was still alive. The other man called me careless. And then, I got hit on the back. Really hard." The whip had stung his back so vividly his hand had reached behind his neck and was touching his shoulder blade gingerly as if to check for a wound. It took a second, and then tears welled up in those glittering eyes again with the realization that he may have had a part in another man's death. "Painfully insightful, indeed." Despite his dark thoughts, the smile didn't fade. He couldn't help it, not when Sitkanis was smiling back at him. When Sitkanis spoke of changing in a wave of light, it made him think of his own transformation. It had been a lucid experience, but to the best of his knowledge his skin had burst into light and only lasted long enough for his youthful frame to grow and mature to a point that would take a decade for a human - for him, a few seconds. "You sound like you look forward to changing back to whatever you are during the day," Lysander admitted. Was he? He wasn't sure. The memory had shaken him up more than he let on. When Sitkanis questioned his fatigue, Lysander's body screamed out a yes that only made it out in his wide, glassy eyes. "Sitka." The smile grew. That pet name would never get old. Lysander reached over, pressing his index finger gingerly against one of Sitkanis' smooth marble horns. They felt like his. His dark hair, though it seemed to change differently - frosted tips, rather than scattered strands of violet that flecked Lysander's hairline, reminded him of the reflection he saw in the water. Another rebel tear rolled down Lysander's cheek, although his content smile contradicted any emotional weight it carried. The saline drop stained the side of his face before dropping off at his chin. The smile turned into a laugh while tears continued to flow. A careful finger on Sitkanis' horn evolved into a heartfelt hug as he pulled the shorter Ethaefal to his chest. "I'm so happy you found me." Lysander sobbed, knees weak as his head dropped to rest on Sitkanis' shoulder. Welcome or not, the larger Ethaefal held Sitkanis in his sobbing grasp as a child would cling to a long-lost sibling.

[Sitkanis]

When Lysander smiled a voice seemed to call to Sitkanis. I was not coming from the Ethaefal in front of him but in his mind. "I caught a rabbit. All on my own! Father! Do you see how fat it is? Do you think we can cook it tonight?" The voice was that of a child. He could not have been older than six by the sound of it. The child sounded proud and excited. Sitkanis smiled at Lysander but he was not sure if he was really smiling at him or the child who was calling to him in his mind. The son he could not remember no matter how hard he tried. Sitkanis could not help but shutter when he heard what Lysander had seen. He had never flashed back to anything so horrible. "Sounds terrible." His eyes stayed fixed on the path in front of them as they walked. He frowned a bit as he saw Lysander reach to his back. Sitkanis could not remember how he had died. There was not a place on his body that he could pinpoint the pain like Lysander did. "Hopefully your next flashback will be better. They cannot all be bad right?" This was his feeble attempt at trying to cheer Lysander up. The sound of positive words felt a little odd coming from Sitkanis' mouth. All who knew him were well aware of how negative he tended to get. It surprised Sitkanis to see the boy smiling again so quickly. After hearing what Lysander had seen he worried that he was going to close up, much like him. Instead he seemed so calm and peaceful. Sitkanis could not help but admire that. He had never really given a lot of thought to his forms except for the fact that he wished his night form as a bit taller and less beautiful. "I suppose I prefer my daytime body. I have heard that Ethaefal are not normally like that." He could not help but wonder what Lysander looked like in the sun. "I am Drykas during the day. I like that form a lot better. It suits me better." Sitkanis jumped at the feeling of Lysander's finger pressed against his horn. He had not expected him to actually reach out and touch him. He was not sure how to react. No one had ever reached out and poked his horns before. He was not sure if he was comfortable giving Lysander a nickname so he simply repeated his name. "Lysander?" He looked at him confused about how to act as the boy started to cry again. "Ummm… Don't cry. Things will be-" His words were stopped him he felt Lysander's arms around him. His lilac eyes grew wide as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around the boy. "I'm…uh…glad I found you too." He was even if he couldn't admit it when the boy was hugging him so tightly. He wanted to pull away from the hug. He didn't like being this close to Lysander. It was not that he disliked him. He just was apprehensive about his ability to return the emotion that people expected. "You will be okay Lysander. I'm here for you." Although Sitkanis felt as though he could have kept talking until Syna showed he did not want to keep Lysander walking and talking when he clearly could not do it. "If you feel the need to sleep let me know. We can always talk more tomorrow." He looked up at the sky to father Leth above. "I'm sure Leth would not mind. I think he understands the pain we are going through. We did not only lose him, he lost us." He looked back to Lysander and gave him a small smile. "Of course, if you want to stay up that is fine with me too. I'm in no hurry to do much of anything right now." Time had been quite open since Sitkanis had found himself alone. "Did you know that Ethaefal usually name themselves after constellations?" He chuckled a bit as he looked at his friend. "You clearly didn't but my name, Sitkanis, comes from a Talderian constellation… at least I think." He did not know much about astrology but he had a good feeling about it. He had chosen the name so the answer had to be somewhere in his mind. "I think it means 'canine of the north'. Of course that is just a really foggy guess. Just something that seemed to stick with me when I fell."

[Lysander]

A Drykas. Lysander had no idea what a Drykas was, although his head swirled with possibilities of several imaginary monsters, towering over him with frightening facial features and extra limbs. A quick shake of his head and his tears slowly abated with a few deep breaths. Finally, after what must have seemed like a lifetime of discomfort for Sitkanis, Lysander released him and gave a curt nod. He spoke the truth in a poetic manner that calmed the younger Ethaefal. Surely Leth wouldn't mind if he spent the remaining few hours in this form asleep. Lysander's head tilted upwards towards the looming moon in the sky, like a child asking for permission. "I would like to sleep." Lysander would learn as they made their way back into the belly of the cliff-side city that Sitkanis was in the same position as him when it came to having a place to stay. Lysander would remain quiet, daring not ask why Sitkanis was homeless. After all, the Ethaefal had hinted at lost love only chimes before and the younger of the pair wasn't about to open wounds that were so obviously still tender. Bare feet slapped against cool streets as Lysander resisted the urge to grab on to Sitkanis' clothing while he was lead into a growing crowd. Lysander's sore muscles screamed for respite, and heavy eyelids were forced to remain open. His dry lips parted to surrender to a yawn and he nearly bumped into Sitkanis' back when the shorter Ethaefal stopped at the steps of what looked like an ancient looking structure. The stone building that would later be known as the Chapel to the Ethaefal was beautiful in its simplicity. In Leth's moonlight, the stones the squat chapel was composed of shone deep shades of grey and shale blue and Lysander kept himself from reaching out to touch its outer walls by once again shoving his hands in his pockets. The heavy wooden door was pushed open and the musky smell of the Chapel filled Lysander's nose as he stepped in after Sitkanis. A hush fell over the pair, as it would anyone in a place that assumed such respect. A combination of candles and Leth's light streaming in from windows on one side of the Chapel lit their way as the pair made their way through the rows of pews. Lysander finally grasped for Sitkanis' sleeve, peering around curiously as he mumbled a question under his breath. "Are you sure it's okay to sleep in here?" The Ethaefal's mind raced with consequences if a priest approached to question the pair. To Sitkanis' surprise, Lysander didn't appear to care to wait for a response before he slipped away from his new found companion to lay on his side on a nearby pew. His tired body was just too ravaged by the fall to care anymore. A sigh deflated his lungs that he could feel through his entire body as his taught muscles relaxed against smooth wood. Lysander had hit the ocean, nearly drowned by its churning waves, accepted death, then saved again. Redemption seemed to follow him; there had to be a reason for it. A reason that was now staring down at him with a dark lilac gaze and a perfectly carved, perfectly sad face. I know it was an accident, but I was put here for him. Lysander decided, eyelids becoming heavy with Nysel's influence. Knees raised close to his chest and one arm folded at the side of his head to prevent the marbled appendage at his temple from uncomfortably digging into the wood beneath him. The Ethaefal had swallowed his own pain with this rationalization of his existence in the mortal realm. I know Sitka hurts, I can see it in his eyes. I will keep him safe, Leth. I will make you proud.

[Sitkanis]

"Let's get going then." Sitkanis motioned for Lysander to follow him as he led the boy out of the winding labrynith. He was a bit worried. Where could he put the boy for the night? Since Adalia had left he was techincally without a home. "I don't really have a place to stay either. I've been... sleeping in a lot of places since..." He did not want to stay that Adalia left him. That would make him sound like he failed. "Since last season." He hoped that the Chapel would take the two sons of Leth, at least for the night. If the boy chose to stay he could help him find a living arrangement when Syna rose. He could do that much for the boy. From there he would be able start walking on his own and Sitkanis could return to his aimless wanderings through the city. Everyone would win. When the two reached the Chapel Sitkanis cringed at the sight. The memories of Adalia hit him like a ton of weights. He could see her long blonde hair, her ocean blue eyes, and most of all her luminecent scales. "We will stay here for the night." Without another word Sitkanis walked forward thrusting the door open. He did not want to be here. All he could think of was getting out and back into Leth's light. It was very clear to see how much Sitkanis' personality and emotions changed in the Chapel. He focused his attention to Leth's light streaming through the window. "Don't worry about it. Just sleep." His voice seemed to be a bit sharp as he spoke. With a sudden movement of his arm he pulled his sleeve away from Lysander's grip. It was not to be rude. The action was done more out of pain than anything. For a few moments Sitkanis watched Lysander to make sure he was in a position where he would not fall off of the pew in his sleep. After a few moments he left the boy on his own, seeming to care less if the Ethaefal fell off onto the floor. He walked forward between the pews to the front of the chapel. It was there that he had first learned medicine from Adalia. He sat down on the pew in the front of the Chapel and closed his eyes. It was in his calm that he saw Adalia in his mind. Flashback : "I'm going to teach you some medicine today. Would you like that?" Sitkanis smiled gently as his fingers moved though Adalia's long blonde hair. She was sitting on his lap staring up at him with her ocean blue eyes. On the ground a few feet away Tempest, Adalia's large white Ivaski watched Sitkanis carefully. She was not going to let the strange form changing man hurt her mistress. "Mhmm, I would like that a lot." The Konti kissed him softly as she got up from his lap and walked across the Chapel. Tempest followed quickly at her heels to make sure Sitkanis would not follow. As Adalia walked Sitkanis pined for her to return to his lap. He wanted to taste her on his lips and feel the smoothness of her scales against his fingertips. When the Konti returned to Sitkanis' side he chuckled softly as he felt her fingers pull at his shirt. "I think I like this better than medicine lessons." Adalia simple rolled her eyes as she pulled his shirt over his head. "This is a lesson. You need to focus." Her gaze was serious. More serious than he had hoped. "Fine, let's get on with it then." The Konti unrolled a bandage and began to wrap it around Sitkanis' abomen. She spoke as she worked, explaining what she was doing so he could replicate the process but he was not listening. He only thought about her and how badly he wanted to finally sleep with her. To know her inside and out. "Okay, finished, now you replicate." Sitkanis' eyes widened when the Konti spoke up. He had not been paying attention. Almost as though she was trying to inspire him she began to pull up her blouse showing the shining scale that lined her midsection. "I love you." Adalia handed him another bandage. "I love you too, now do me." He knew what she meant but he could not help but chuckle. "Gladly my little water princess." He moved close to her, kissing her on the cheek, trailing down her neck. "Sitkanis, work. You get distracted way to easily." With a small almost growl like sound he pulled away. He wanted so much more from her. More than she was giving. He worked slowly and sloppily as he wound the bandage around Adalia's stomach. He paid less attention to the actual work and more to the feeling of her scales under his hands. When he finished he smiled up at her, his fingers trailing up the skin of her torso. Two hands came up to stop them before they reached her chest. "Not until you wrap the bandages right. You were sloppy."

[Lysander]

The break of dawn was far more dramatic inside the chapel than outside its stone walls. Lysander groaned, stirred, and burst into a blinding light akin to what had happened at sunset the night before. It abruptly woke him up, and his head spun. Falling with an ungraceful thud from the wooden pew to the cold floor, the Ethaefal had shrunk from his ethereal glory to the body he had last set foot upon the mortal world in. As his thin body hit the floor the glow receded into him and he sat up slowly, groaning, rubbing his head. His skull felt lighter, not unburdened by marble horns. His body was significantly weaker and his clothing no longer fit him properly. “Sitka.” Lysander stood, shakily at first. He steadied himself on the pew and looked around, squinting at the morning light shining in bright and direct on the spot where he stood. “Sitka!” Another call, when the first gave him no response but his own echo. Lysander’s voice had morphed back to suit his younger body, pubescent and awkward belonging to neither boy nor man. The boy’s features twisted into a scowl and he gripped the pants that threatened to fall to his ankles tight in one hand, using the other to fuss with his tunic that would slip carelessly over one shoulder or the other as he searched the large open room for ... ... Who was he looking for? Lysander knew little of what a Drykas was. Sitkanis could also have very well left him there. Another incessant, but hushed “Sitka?” was murmured before he noticed a mass sleeping two rows away. A grin swept over his lips and, instead of walking around the pews to the body, a thin leg went up and over one pew, then the next in an awkward creep. Perched over the large brunette that slept soundly, although a bit uncomfortably on the solid wooden bench, Lysander craned his neck forward, dark brown eyes wide with curiosity. It sure didn’t look anything like the Ethaefal that he had accompanied to the chapel – but Sitkanis had spoke of being taller during the day. He also mentioned being a Drykas. Lysander wrinkled his nose. That word, what did it mean? The man that slept below him looked human. Closer inspection was needed. Leaning forward, Lysander’s thin wrists flexed as his fingers gripped the backside of the far pew. Then, the clunky teenager stepped over the man’s sleeping body gracefully before dropping to his knees and turning around, face to face with the stranger. The stranger’s face had twisted into an unmistakable scowl, and Lysander beamed. “Morning, Sitka.”

[Sitkanis]

In Nysel's realm Sitkanis was truly happy. His memories flowed freely and played out the beautiful scenes where Adalia seemed to dance in front of his eyes. He tried to pretend he did not miss the blonde woman but his subconcious knew otherwise. "I'm scared Adalia." Sitkanis spoke quietly as he looked at the pale woman. He would have never admitted fear to anyone, especially a woman. She was so beautiful though. She was a child of Laviku just like he was a child of Leth. Two divine children thrown together by fate. "What are you scared of?" The girl spoke calmly and quietly. Her blue eyes seemed to rip through him. The Konti were known to have gifts that could see into others. They were such miraculous creatures. "I am going to change soon. I will look different and I know you will prefer my nightly form over this form. This is who I am and I know Leth will shadow it." He felt ashamed at his words. He should not have looked so weak in front of the Konti woman. She did not touch him, she barely even moved. She just spoke in her same, level voice. "I will see you as you no matter what. You don't have to worry." Adalia was a lot like Sitkanis. She did not spend much time with words. She meerly thought and stroked that large white dog of hers. Tempest, her protection from the Opal Order. He wanted to take the Ivaski's place. He wanted to be the girl's protection. From the moment Adalia spoke those words, I will see you as you no matter what, he was in love. He knew he would protect her from anything. He pulled her close and smiled as her soft lips touched his own. He could tell his skin was already begining to light up and change. When the Konti opened her eyes she would see a completely different man before her. When Sitkanis pulled his lips away he spoke up again, almost in a whisper. "Don't open your eyes." Adalia's eyes stayed closed although he could tell even without seeing her endless pools of blue that she was confused. "I told you I wouldn't judge you Sitkanis." He could not look at her. He felt ashamed. "I just don't want you to see me when I am not myself." The Konti's eyes opened and Sitkanis felt a cold shiver run down his spine. "You are beautiful Sitkanis but you always were." She let a small smile show on her lips as she took his hand in her own. The scales of her skin felt smooth and cool. He felt his heart race as she moved closer. "Sitka." Sitka? Adalia had never called him that. "Adalia?" Her lips were just moments from touching his own until..." Sitkanis' deep brown eyes shot open as he heard the boy chittering away at his side. For a moment he was confused as he looked at a boy would would not be older than fourteen. He looked over the boy, trying to figure him out. "Wow..." He had not expected Lysander to be such a... child. He knew the boy would be a bit younger. He sure acted like he would be. He had not expected a child this young though. He was not sure what he could say to the boy. Instead he simply scowled at the boy. "Don't ever wake me again." His words were sharp as he looked at the altar of the chapel in front of him. He wanted to feel Adalia again. She was gone and Sitkanis knew that. He just did not want to let go of her. Lysander on the other hand was at his side and it did not look like the little Ethaefal had any intent of leaving. A small smile poked at Sitkanis lips as he turned to face Lysander. The smile looked almost like a smirk on the ex-Drykas' lips. "Good morning Lysander." He knew he was going to regret the next words that left his mouth but he said them anyways. "Well, if you are going to be sticking around it looks like we are going to nee to find a place to stay. I can't let you keep sleeping on pews. Especially not here." He had decided. He would keep watch over Lysander. Adalia was long gone and Lysander needed someone. The Gods only knew what would happen to the kid if someone wasn't watching over him.

[Tabarnac]

XP Award! Lysander XP Award: Swimming +2; Sailing +2; Interrogation +1; Storytelling +1; Astrology +1 Sitkanis XP Award: Observation +2; Interrogation +1; Storytelling +1; Astrology +1; Medicine +2 Additional Notes: Lysander, the harbor isn’t quite that shallow that it would be knee deep a stone’s throw from the quay, but we’ll just assume he was very close to the shore and to the side of the quay. Or a temporary sandbar. It’s mostly that there are sharp rocks jutting up above and below the surface that would kill a full-sized merchant ship or fishing boat. D’aw, sweet, sad thread! Oh, and just so y’all know, since Ethaefal can age things, they might get work at Theo’s farm, either speeding up growth Bala-style (though we would have to see how that would work in comparison with the gnosis), or aging the young wines, getting them ready to drink sooner... Speed up production, make more money! You already have your joint home set up, so you’re good to go! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or concerns. Keep writing!