Guilt Trip (Eoin)

by **Vala** on June 10th, 2011, 2:41 am

The three hour nap had probably been the best decision Vala had made many a moon. She stretched her stiff arms, reaching for the ceiling. Her tiny maw opened to a gaping yawn, mewling in content as a baby kitten. She rubbed her haggard eyes, thoughts of Eoin still buried in her hazy, sleepy state. Still having felt dirty from the kitchen and the encounter with the disfigured Dek, Vala had slept on top of her covers to prevent contaminating her inner sheets. Her rest had been deep and peaceful, uninterrupted by the neighbors who had left for work. It was utterly peaceful to be so alone in the common rooms.

She had never given Kirna forewarning about her morning, and well midday now, absence. Vala knew, while she would not be punished for her ‘laziness’, she would still have to pay a steep price – overtime. As she marched off to her fate, her cool fingers reached for her exposed forearms, unconsciously scratching the flesh off layer by layer. It wasn’t that Vala wanted to scar herself; if she knew what she was doing, and the risk it would put on her beauty, she would have slapped herself unconscious, but it was honestly just a nervous tick, one that manifested when she was trying to stifle her thoughts – Eoin.

“So glad you could join us!” Kirna said, the bite of sarcasm lessened by her playful smile and raised eyebrow. “Most of the shelving has been done for day. Go repair at least half of the books at the repair station.” With her orders dispensed, Kirna walked away to her own work. She hated the youth who wasted her time. It irked her more than usual to have to dismiss Vala so; she was usually one of the hardest workers in the Enclave, always eager, sometimes too eager, to please her superiors. For the past few days, the sharp eyes matron had watched as Vala seemed to waste away, her decline evident in mere hours. But the young woman was always so distant, so aloof, so unwilling to share her life that she didn’t dare pry or be rebuked by the inferior caste member. The uncertainty gnawed in her usually cast iron stomach.

Vala nodded meekly at Kirna’s turned back. Her small feet, turned to weights as she made her way to the station. She slumped into the stool, realizing her nap hadn’t been as energizing as she had needed. Her dull, senseless fingers reached for the closest book. She could barely feel its worn binding. Her bloodshot eyes ran over the Pottery How-to Book, trying to assess the full extent of the damage. It took a while for her fuzzy mind to catch the frayed binding. Going straight to golem mode, she reached down to pull out the repair tool basket.

Her slim fingers were perfect, almost as if she was born for such work, as she deftly began to cut away at the hanging threads of the binding. Once the edges were cleanly trimmed she gently placed the sciccors to the side, and picked up a small bottle of lacquer. Unscrewing the lid, using quite a bit of force, Vala dipped in the small accompanying brush. Using the slim brush, barely a finger thick, she began to dab at the edges. Not enough of the binding had shredded away to deserve a new set of binding, a task Vala had yet to be able to do on her own, so Vala did what she did best and hedged the damage as best she could. Resting her heavy head in her left hand, she waited for the first layer of lacquer to dry before applying the next. It took her a good five chimes to get four, somewhat sloppy, layers hardening as a temporary protective layer on the book. Dragging the ledger to her, pushing the repaired book the side, Vala opened to the latest page. Taking a chime to get all the writing utensils in order, Vala started to write out her repair notes on the latest line. First she made sure to write the book name, call number, damage: frayed spine, and the date. In the notes she made sure to mention that the binding wouldn’t last any more than two seasons, even with the temporary lacquer. She asterisked it as a reminder for it to be checked on after a while. Normally she would clutter the record book with her pretentious calligraphic fonts, but today she was just too tired, as she pushed through her job with the vigor of a corpse.

With the binding repair tools already splayed out, and Vala too lazy to put them away again, Vala searched for another book in need of binding repair. It didn’t take her long to find one, this time it was a book on hunting. Going the reverse order, so that she could put away as little as possible, Vala recorded the book’s stats first. She grunted in annoyance when she realized she had messed up the title, pretty bad, in her careless state. There wasn’t enough room in the line to re write it again, so she gritted her teeth and crossed out all of the info, just so she could rewrite it on the line before. Normally the fastidious girl loved record keeping, just because she tended to excel at anything that announced the work she did, but it was just so hard to focus for her, with her head starting to pound like tribal drums.

She continued to fix the similar frayed binding situation with dogged slowness. She began to wonder if she was just wasting her time in the Enclave feeling the way she did. She was hungry, but she didn’t want to go back to the kitchens just yet – what if she saw Eoin? But then again, she wanted to get that business settled now, just so she could stop feeling the way she did, but what would she do? Yell at him? She had no right – he didn’t attack her. He even defended her. He didn’t need to. Vala scowled, feeling weak and pathetic, remembering how she sniveled on the floor, waiting for someone, anyone to notice her. It had taken her ten chimes to finally get it into her thick skull that no one was going to help her, so she helped herself. Fleeing the scene with her tail betwixt her legs. Vala gasped, looking down, she saw that she had painted her own hand with the lacquer. She hadn’t been paying attention to the book she was repairing, and had grown careless. She stopped, re capping the lacquer vial so she could wipe and peel off the quick hardening liquid, her head bent low. Only a frizzled ball of fiery red remained visible behind the Enclave’s reception desk.

by **Eoin** on June 13th, 2011, 11:58 pm

oocSomething about this post is wonderfully bland.

Sorry for the writer's block.

Little surprise came to Eoin when he returned to his station earlier, for there was not a petite, blue-eyed Chiet in sight. Vala did not seem the patient type to him, and his leave was unprofessional and irresponsible, so there was reason in her leave. Still, he was not so satisfied to see her gone, for there were matters to settle, however insignificant to her they may seem. Obviously the man could not leave as quickly as he came, nor did he want to abandon his work and the other hardworking chefs, both obligated and willing to stay. Waiting until his brief lunch break, Eoin set aside his hunger and weariness to search for the girl, wishing to smooth out their relationship and put an end to his guilt. All the same, Eoin wasn't so confident in his ability in finding the girl, for he knew nothing of the Chiet aside from her name, appearance and sensitivity toward issues regarding her caste. She could hidden away in her room for all he knew and his efforts would become laughable and foolish, but he was quite determined in attempting to locate Vala either way.

With a familiar ache in his stomach, Eoin arrived at his first destination; the Enclave. The scent of worn pages and dust lingered heavily in the air, the lighting at the bare minimum requirement for reading. Familiar was he to the Enclave's layout, having spent what little leisure time he had flipping through books on cuisine, medicine and world knowledge. Still, it was a fairly large area and he thought he'd be better off asking the librarian or her assistants if they had seen Vala. Skipping right past the hidden Chiet, he doved into the main area. Eoin spotted a few known faces as he walked past the aisles, his eyes following down the path in search for an unpreoccupied worker, for they were all quite busy at the moment. For instance, a particularly loud Yasi was asking for a specific book with a rather pretentious title, something along the lines of "Glassblowing: How My Techniques Can Improve Your Skills." from what Eoin overheard. The annoyed assistant tried to shush the girl several times before helping her, but the youth was quite adamant on getting her hands on the book before a certain "Ysa" could, a competitor he supposed. The amount of noise she was producing was grating on his ears, each syllable dragging his attention away from his task. Quickening his stride, Eoin finished looking through the remaining aisles before moving away from the main shelves back to the entrance, in hopes that a worker had returned to the reception area. Somehow, the assistant was able to quiet the girl down, for a few footsteps later, there was not even a peep to be heard.

It was then that he saw a person behind the desk, or rather, a head of crimson hair shaking consistently. Confused, Eoin approached the moving hair with a smooth stride, weighted arms swinging gracefully like that of fallen trees. As he did, he tasted the scent of lacquer, suggesting that the stranger was binding books or performing a similar task. Eoin was quite sure of his hypothesis, for he had observed others do the same and thus associated the odour with the act. Now that he was beside the desk, Eoin wasn't quite sure what to do but to stand there, imitating the stillness of a statue. Whoever it was seemed rather busy, but he did not want them to be surprised to see a waiting man suddenly appear, for his presence was near silent. However, he disliked interrupting others and possessed more than enough patience to wait for the Inartan to resurface, and so he did. Then, upon seeing the very face he was searching for, Eoin was caught off guard and stared somewhat blankly for a moment or two before those gears creaked to a start.

"Hello Vala." A cool, mechanical response, devoid of any real indication of his current frame of thought other than being unprepared. Eoin was looking straight at the Chiet but saw only his internal thoughts, inventing question upon question. Realizing his surroundings once more, the stone walls, wooden desk and appearing as puzzle pieces fitting together before his very eyes, he looked for confirmation. "Do you work here at the Enclave?"

by **Vala** on June 14th, 2011, 1:04 am

When she finally scraped the last bit of lacquer off her irritated fingers, Vala lifted her head to address the shadow that had so rudely dimmed her already fleeting candlelight. Just as she was about to snap at the poor fellow, she was dumbstruck, same as him, when she recognized who it was. Before she could hiss an accusing you, he spoke, interrupting her mid growl.

His coldness, reminded her of her own emotional defense mechanisms. She squeezed her hand into a tight fist, as she relaxed her face into a stony mask. Her feral red lips slackened until it was a passive, immovable line. Only her eyes couldn’t hide the confusion and mild anger that swirled within.

It was odd seeing him here, in her territory. Her heart raced as thoughts of power rushed to her head. Before she gave him the respite of a straight forward answer, she took a moment to observe him and assess the situation. Since the first time she had come upon him, Vala had grown to expect an almost inhuman placidity from Eoin. His facial expression, his stance, even his voice modulation was no different than what she had encountered earlier that day. Only when Vala peered deep into the rich green of his hooded eyes did she really catch the disparity from the ‘normal’ Eoin. The sharp gaze that had easily kept up with the bustle of the kitchen now lacked the same glistening clarity, replaced by a hazy dullness. Vala knew the look; her own bright blue eyes sported them on occasion. They were probably lackluster now, only momentarily sharpened by her mounting curiosity.

Her head cocked to the right, “Yes. Yes, I work at the Enclave.” Her voice rang with cold intensity, almost as if it was tinged with a passive aggressive dare. “Is there anything I can help you with?” The end of Vala’s lips arched, perfectly curved into a pouty half moon. A rosy pink blush creped onto the apples of her cheeks. Only her eyes remained numb, glinting in the flickering fire light.

OOC :

by **Eoin** on June 18th, 2011, 8:04 pm

oocSame here, stress is seriously damaging to my posts.

Let's just hope this random thought will inspire more ideas later on.

The tilt of her head reminded him of a bird's own, curious and attentive. Paired with her healthy complexion, Vala seemed to be welcoming of his presence, aside from that unresponsive look in her eyes which he simply wrote off as fatigue. Eoin could not catch the slight aggressive tone of her voice after all, but he did not think this was just some casual, chance meeting. He had a purpose in disturbing her at work, though unintended, and now realizing she was preoccupied he felt a greater push toward the kitchens himself. Resolving this quickly would benefit the both of them, but he doubted the ability to do so judging from their previous encounters.

"Sorry to disturb." Defaulting to a safe, polite tone, his eyes were relit to a muted green as he spoke. "I wanted to apologize for my mother's behaviour. I'm very sorry that happened." Somehow, this seemed easier than before, perhaps because he wasn't directly responsible this time around. Or more likely, this was simply becoming a pattern, Vala being wronged by him, the "chase" and the same old apology. There was nothing wrong in routine, but this wasn't the same, and he certainly didn't want an endless cycle to form. How to break out of it was the question, and the man wasn't sure if he could find an answer. What he truly lacked besides the obvious inept knowledge of communication was practice. The conclusion was ironic, and he almost cracked a smile at the realization. Instead of hitting the books, what he needed was a break, opportunities to socialize and relax. Friends probably, that was what was missing.

Perhaps he could practice here with Vala, though he wasn't quite so enthusiastic to befriend the Chiet. One, he was still stuck on the belief that she was a sneak and thief, however hardworking she seemed. Two, if he had preconceptions of her, imagine what was running through her mind at the sight of him. Probably thinking that he was some sort of harbringer of misfortune, and likely unwelcoming to his advances. The odds were stacked higher than the shelves of the Enclave, and the failure seemed certain. However, Eoin was committed to improve himself, and once a goal was set, there would be no room for discussion.

Time and place was the next concern, for Vala seemed rather busy at the moment and it would be impolite to linger for such a reason. "You seem busy, so I won't be disturbing you much longer." He began, looking over her desk vaguely, catching glimpses of books and binding materials. Then, reflecting her blue eyes in his as his gaze rose, Eoin hesitate just a moment before diving into his intentions. "But would you like to meet at a later date?" The delivery needed a bit more charm, persuasion even, but he couldn't imitate either and opted for passive confidence. Likewise, he wasn't arrogant enough to throw in a dazzling smile, if he was even capable of being "dazzling". Instead, quietly determined eyes shielded his exposing pride, protecting it from potential backlash.

by **Vala** on June 20th, 2011, 12:33 am

Though she managed to maintain her perfect mask, Vala was unable to keep her pupils from dilating at the news of Eoin's mother. It didn't come as a surprise. Most Inartan children were misbegotten druge bastards. It came less of a surprise that one grew up to be an Avora. Thanks to the nurseries most children were given a fair chance. What made it an interest to the ever wary opportunist was that the hardworking Avora she had assumed to be too pragmatic to be sentimental actually knew his birth mother, let alone 'care' about her. The thought of such a dangerous emotion gave her shivers. To be held back and compromised by such silly notions of blood loyalty was disgusting to her: a girl who had to learn and survive by the strength of her own will. Unconditional love was a fantasy, no, a nightmare, to Vala.

He wanted to be friends? Vala grinned – a feral smile. Realizing that she was far too giddy for the soberness of the situation, Vala muted it until her glistening, pointed canines were hidden safely behind her bottom lip.

Her eyes grew hazy as her mind tried to absorb what was going on. Turning to the one thing she knew would get everything in proper order, Vala took a deep breath before listing the facts.

He

With the basic facts all figured out, Vala began to assess what she could define about Eoin.

unconditionally

And why from her?

She had yet to find a use for him. Not that she was in constant want, but a friend, or more accurately, a trusted and kind ‘confidant’ in the kitchens, would never cease to helpful when she was particularly wasting away thanks to her chiet fare. That and she could tell, even through his stoic facade, that he wouldn’t, couldn’t help feeding her if she ever appeared haggard before him. Not only was he a bleeding heart who didn’t have to spout sympathetic nonsense every second, her favorite type of target, she also had something she could hold over him at a moment’s notice. This was rare for her. Usually the Avora and Endal distanced themselves from such weakness as soon as they were out of the yasiry – forgetting all about their humble past. Not only did Eoin have such a weakness but he embraced it, admitting it to someone for her. Vala would have lied…

Eoin was staring too intently. It was a little unnerving to see something so utterly forced on his face. He face didn’t seem cut out for such a perplexed, no, he didn't seem confused, but it just didn't seem like a comfortable expression. Something modest, something real was what should have been on his stoic countenance. She had caught the hesitation in his voice when he asked her on a… date? It wasn’t that much harder to notice the same defensive glint that filmed his moss green gaze. It was absolutely unnerving to see so much of herself reflected in Eoin. From their brief time working together she had come to expect only righteousness.

Vala wanted him to stop. She had been in his position before, asking someone without being sure of their answer. It was rare for her to ever put herself in such a situation, but she did it often enough when she was bored or desperate. To stop him, to get him back to normal she said yes, convincing herself it wasn’t because she might actually respect him and secretly crave his company… She didn’t mind respecting someone like Eoin, even if he was ‘soft’, she would mind if she started to like him – though that was definitely going to be a long shot since she had something she could use against him. Vala never could like a person she could use and discard as soon as they were of no use to her anymore… Hopefully for the both of them – he would stay useful.

She pushed the book and tools to the side. Then she set her elbows on the counter and cradled her chin innocuously, palming a round cheek in each hand. She puffed up one cheek, then the other, wiggled her nose a bit, and then smiled - a real girlish one. “Sure. I would love to spend time with you. When are you free?” Her round eyes looked up at him without any guile or demands, just staring back into his gaze waiting.

OOC :

by **Eoin** on June 21st, 2011, 11:11 pm

oocHere comes a whole new side to Eoin. XD
I'm not sure if I'm moving the conversation too quickly, so pm me if you'd like that to be edited

.

He was confident, but not fearless, his unwavering gaze steady above the brewing storm. Something about Vala confused him, and it wasn't as simple as inexperience with the fairer sex, having been around males whenever he was around anyone for the past nineteen years. Even if Eoin hadn’t caught Vala’s malicious grin, he could tell this all seemed to run a bit too smoothly. By now, he was almost expecting the Chiet to be somewhat emotional, but from what he could there, there was not a hint of reluctance in her presentation. However, that may have been his belief that she shared the same sort of disinterest in socialization that he did, for humans tend to think that others shared their own beliefs. But, being as he was, the man was unaware of it all.

Finally, he was beginning to take notice of her small, charming gestures, the nose wiggling and inflating of her cheeks reminding him of a baby rabbit. Unfortunately, Eoin only made the connection due to Vala's resemblance to an animal, and was still just as oblivious to humans as ever. He wondered if this was simply how she behaved, or if it was all an act. Eoin was still firm on his opinion of Vala, and could be looking at this with too much bias, thus neglecting the possibility of the first option. In the case of the latter, she'd be trying to be on his good side, win favour and survive like a small, weaker animal would, if it were true. Either way, Eoin was not worried with so information to go on, giving those thoughts little consideration before filing them away for the time being.

To say the least, he was relieved to finally hear her answer, feeling his muscles relax and began breathing normally. Eoin was unaware how nervous he was until that first sweet breath filled his lungs and replenished his ego. He wasn’t quite so surprised that he lost all train of thought, for the Avora had already planned an activity they could share. In fact, Vala wouldn’t really have much of a choice, for his bull-headed thinking had led him to deem the discussion closed. But first, they would have to pick a date, and toward that at least, he kept an open mind.

“I am free next week, before the song festival preparations begin.” He responded, his gaze gradually softening to indicate a sense of satisfaction, his lips still deceptively emotionless. Naturally, only after they compromise and chose a suitable time did he bring his ideas to the table, leaving no opportunity for suggestions. “We’ll go climbing then.” He settled, a small smile gently lighting up his features in anticipation for the outdoor adventure. Now, he was simply waiting for the Chiet’s agreeing response, for he saw no reason why she’d be in disagreement with what was plainly a great idea.

by **Vala** on June 22nd, 2011, 5:21 am

I secretly want to hug you right now :

The great outdoors. Sure why not? He was smiling. It was cute. Did she just think that? Vala twitched, feeling severely unnerved.

Vala rarely came up with plans with other people, let alone that far ahead. However socially adept Vala may have come off as, she was probably one of the least socially comfortable people out there. She hated everyone, except for maybe a select few (no more than five). And even those people she barely trusted. So it genuinely amused her when the workaholic of a man that she assumed Eoin to be, was actually asking her, yes her, for her company, and a one on one hike no less.

She was so amused that she almost jumped from her chair to give him a hug. That is until the shakes that accompanied thoughts of physical touch painfully reminded her to keep her hands to herself. She settled for a soft, crystal pure smile. Her cheek muscles relaxed, releasing the painfully perfect half moon that took almost reactionary will power to grace her face. What she was giving Eoin was real; it looked strange, unpracticed.

So caught up in the moment, afraid to shatter it, afraid it was all just a cruel dream, Vala whispered, “I would really like that… Eoin”

OOC :

by **Flicker** on July 14th, 2011, 7:27 pm

Vala

Cooking: 3, Math: 1, Book repair: 2

Physically debilitating guilt, Eoin's forgiveness, cutting tomatoes, Making stew, Melting butter, Adding flour, Eoin is cute, "The One Handed Witch", Eating during Dek Mealtimes

Eoin

Cooking: 4, Leadership: 1, Medicine: 1

The workings of Inartan stomachs in relation to food, Making Dinner rolls, Making stew, Kitchen duties, Vala's moodiness, Vala is capable of feeling guilt, Prepping fish, Trusting a novice with a ruinable task, Handing a disgrace with dignity and compassion, Vala's job at the Enclave, The intricacies of asking for a date

Comments: I love reading your stuff, Eoin. And Vala never ceases to make me shake my head. Eoin, I know nothing of cooking. Are there any skills you'd like me to break "cooking" up into? Food prep, chopping, stirring...? I don't know, but I feel like you're getting cheated by just "cooking".