[Vala's Scrapbook] Life, the Universe and Everything

[Vala]

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. ~Douglas Adams Me My senior prom is tomorrow. I have spent so much money and effort to make it perfect – picture perfect – that now that the day has come… well I’m just feeling really stressed out and overwhelmed. I know it’s just a silly ritual for silly people, but… I’m silly. I’m not usually a happy person. I blame some of this on the fact my father raised me to act perfect, all the time. If I was sad, I wasn’t allowed to show it (see Junior Prom rant). Like my PC, I have been perfecting my ‘acting’ skill all my life. Events with so many people, so many variables, so much acting is really stressful for me. What makes it so much worse, is I can’t show that it is. I have a lot of trouble showing weakness, ever. Only on Mizahar can I allow myself these confessions, honestly, because there isn’t the risk of my glacial mask slipping and revealing the fear and trepidation beneath. I show my weakness when and to whom I want here, that is a power I cherish. I still don’t reveal everything to everyone. Heck, I’m pretty sure not a lot of people read this, and that’s perfectly ok with me. I’m not whining, saying my life is tough. It’s not. My parents worked hard to get us to middle class, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I’m getting off track. I’m basically just trying to say. I’m nervous for tomorrow. I will party my brains out… but before I get on that dance floor I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to bash through four years of high school drama... all transformed into the monster that is Proma. …Is now the time to mention my constant day dreams of batman swooping in, in his bat mobile and taking me away to his bat cave? (Sponsored by Nicky) Vala There’s been a lot of stuff happening with Vala. Lots of new people like Torc and Ulric who have shaken stuff up for her like I’ve could never have expected. These guys are forcing me, forcing her, to change, to grow. It’s really surprising how similar yet how different Vala is from me. I’ve been selfish, trying to boost her skills with training threads, when I’ve come to realize I’m only going to grow as a writer, and Vala as a character, if I force her into these ‘non-perfect, variable charged situations. Though it is still a little hard to keep a coherent time line since people get busy, people leave, and posting slows, and I generally just have trouble referring to certain things in proper order since they aren’t written linearly. Either way, I really can’t wait to get all my spring threads wrapped up so I can really focus on summer growth – especially with no more silly school work and pointless drama holding me back, well holding Vala back. She deserves more, and I plan to give her my all this season. Mercury Note to self: Stop being such a bloody slacker! I like to grade. I know most mods don’t, but I do – a lot. I like to read other people trying to build a plot, build their characters, even build their skills. My new project (not mentioning the bunch I have started and have yet to bring to completion), is to ‘clean up’ the Wind Reach forum. I’m not sure if it is cluttering it up more, since it brings these threads to the front, but I really don’t like the look of the threads with hanging story lines after a PC has gone AWOL and has left the others stranded. I dunno if I need Jen’s approval for this, but I think I might also add a little tag line of what I think happened afterwards, just a short blurb to wrap things up, with every grading post I do… Yeah, I would like that. It would make grading so much more fun for me. And it will force me to learn how to finish things… GO MERCURY GO! When you see it…

[Sorian]

Because you're awesome and cuddly and adorable. I was almost tempted to post a picture of a typical 'comfort room' here, but I thought about it twice, so... <3 ~ Dave

[Vala]

Every artist was first an amateur. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I finally got the Wacom Bamboo Tablet I’ve been yearning for: all thanks to three years of hoarding birthday/ Christmas Amazon Giftcards. I ended up only having to pay two dollars and 16 cents out of my nearly empty bank account. Something happened to the software and now I can’t open up the tutorial or even that silly readme business. So as a headstrong young adult, what did I do? Did I go online and try to get a copy of a tutorial there? Or did I go on youtube and watch a ten minute starter video? No. I fiddled about. After twenty minutes of trying to figure out how photoshop worked this is what I came out with. I did something basic and very cliché, but it helped me get a handle of the basics of what I can do. I also kind of gave up by the time I got to the eyebrows. I still don’t know anything other than brush and erase, but it seems that’s all I really need for now. Maybe when I get off my high horse/ lazy horse I’ll go read some deviant art tutorials and maybe learn something. Until then… time to doodle mustaches on pictures of my friends.

[Mercury]

PROM DRESS "Pics or it didn't happen..." ...too lazy to write a full entry right now. And the quality of this picture has much left to be desired.

[Irriari]

YOU LOOK SO WONDERFUL. Omg, you! Wow, that dress is simply breath taking. I hope you had a great time!

[Kendall Saarinen]

You looks simply dashing my dear <3

I got a gift for you.

Boop, GIF drop...

[Mercury]

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” ~ Oscar Wilde Quick Life Update 1. I miss having a journal. a. All my life I've had a journal of sorts. For a better part of my childhood it was filled with lots of angry ranting. I would drop the habit for months, then pick it back up. One time I lasted a full year and a half without a break. I regret nothing. Regret is a waste of time, but it would have been nice to have a written documentation of what I've been up to for the past few months. Oh… and my journals are nothing like those cliché girly gush fests. My most current journals are like eerie in their precise logging and lack of emotion. Example Entry for One Day (making this one up by the way): 6.20 Woke up, 6.35-7.00 Jogged around neighborhood,… 13.00- 14.00 High School Graduation Ceremony… 23.00 Log Journal Entry / Sleep. Now isn't that just creepy? 2. I'm a little tired a. I'm one of those obsessive compulsive types. I have to get everything done now. So when I got assigned to Lhavit and saw all those ungraded threads, I nearly teared up. So I've been on a grading binge for the past couple days. I like to grade, don't get me wrong. I love to read these amazing story plots and talented writers, but… there's just a lot. I'm glad I'm almost done. That and I really, really, really, reeeeeeeeally hope I did a good job… 3. VAAAAALA a. Not much to say (too tired to say everything). I still want her to become something great. A broken thing rising to heights unimaginable - my new tagline for her. Who says a sociopath can't assimilate or even be better than 'normal' people?... No but seriously, let me at'em. ;p 4. Ever Love Someone So Much You Kinda Hate Them? a. Yes… Not even going to go into this just yet 5. Woooo. Lhavit! a. Insert more whooing here 6. That's enough about my life.

[Irriari]

This is a journal. Maybe not the kind you mean or have had, but it is a journal. It has dates and entries. And I like reading it. That has to be all the criterion right there.

I don't know about the loving someone so much you hate them, but I'm going to tackle you with hugs anyways.

Good luck with Lhavit, and the uber thread grading! The city will be great. And I think Vala can be great. Hopefully you can have a life changing thread that will make her as wonderful as she should be. (I vote for librarian assassin, but that's just me!)

... Just kidding. That would be scary. Good think Irr doesn't read.