[Flashback] An Incident! (Nilkayn)

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While Sylira is by far the most civilized region of Mizahar, countless surprises and encounters await the traveler in its rural wilderness. Called the Wildlands, Syliran's wilderness is comprised of gradual rolling hills in the south that become deep wilderness in the north. Ruins abound throughout the wildlands, and only the well-marked roads are safe.

[Flashback] An Incident! (Nilkayn)

Postby Kaja on July 18th, 2011, 2:21 pm

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Kaja looked a bit frightened by his firm stern look as she spoke to him. She dipped her head in shame. "I'm sorry I worried you." She said as he tenderly tried to wrap her wounds with linen he had in his bags. "Thank you. I wish I could do more for you." She was frustrated that she was incapacitated for the moment. She knew she would heal eventually, she didn't know how well if she didn't get some proper care especially for her torn thigh. "Can you try to sew me up?" She asked. It was worth an effort to ask, I mean she didn’t care if it didn’t look very good and she had a scar as long as she had full ability to walk, run, and such. I mean she knew she was gong to have scaring on her back from the claws of the bear.

She looked down at the arrow in her hip. It had landed in the side of her hip, and it was pretty deep in, but she didn’t think that it had hit any major blood flowing canals in her leg. She closed her eyes, grabbed the shaft, took a deep breath, and tugged. It moved a bit but didn’t come all the way out. She panted a bit as pain ripped through her, but she knew she would be better off if the arrow was out. Nilkahn’s back was turned while she was doing this putting up the tent. She took another deep breath, sweat started coming on her face, and she tugged a couple more times and it finally came out. She took the linen he had left near her and wrapped her hip, it was bleeding a bit, but not too much she hoped it would stop soon. She didn’t think it would be too bad. Her thigh had been bleeding more actually. However, now that he had fixed it the best he could for now with wrapping it in linen the bleeding was slowing. She watched as she worked on the camp. She wondered what she should do? Should she just leave and try to go on her own or stay with him? She would starve if she was on her own, but she didn’t want to be a burden on him.
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[Flashback] An Incident! (Nilkayn)

Postby Nil'kayn on August 2nd, 2011, 12:03 pm

Kayn shook his head, "I would not think it wise. I have no knowledge of this kind." He glanced over the wound; it reminded him of Zith claws, his grib tightened as he tied the knot on the womans bandage.

Turning his back he busy himself with camp not paying attention to the woman. He was finnished hammering the stakes into the ground turning he glanced at the woman, and he frowned seeing her wrapping bandages around her midrift. He walked over glanceing at the wound. A slight intake of breath was his only reaction. Shakeing his head he got back to work setting up camp. As he did he questioned her, he questioned her about her race, where she was from, her family, anything he could think of. If she did not answer after a few times he would stop and continue his work. If she did answer he would keep her talking, trying to learn anything he could about this strange woman. He would continue to make camp and get firewood for awhile before sitting down to look at the fire, questions or no.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Note: Unless stated otherwise, Nilkayn is speaking in common, except for his thoughts.
Disclaimer: All the images I use ARE NOT MINE, and I do not claim ownership of them. Thank you to the artists, photographers, or models who created them.
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[Flashback] An Incident! (Nilkayn)

Postby Kaja on August 5th, 2011, 3:29 pm

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Kaja knew this was all bad. She just wished that either of them had more training in medicine. Maybe it was something she would have to look into learning more of in the future if she were going to be moving about by herself? Though truly she did not know how she would be able to most times be able to help herself, take the wound on the back of her leg for instance it was hard for her to get at and get the right angle to sew it up herself even if she did know how to do such a thing. Some things she was quickly finding out you needed to have others to do for you.

She sat back leaning on her hands for support of her upper body, and kept her hurt leg up the best she could. She thought she had heard somewhere that if you were bleeding you could prop the injured member up and it would slow the bleeding. So she found a log sat near it and propped her injured leg on that in the hopes this meager plan would at least prevent it from bleeding more. She was still unsure what to do. She couldn’t possibly ask anymore of this kind young man. He had already done so much for her to save her life, feed, her and protect her for the time being. She would decide in the morning whether she would stay and chance possibly finding a place up ahead that could help her. For now though her plan was to rest and figure out once again how to proceed tomorrow.

She looked up at him as he asked her questions about herself. She blinked and answered all his questions as she could. “I am a Kelvic, my form you saw. I was born in Syliras, and have been trying to get to the desert cities for about almost a year now, however, things went wrong along the way and I ended up going the wrong way and in some other place. Now I am headed in the right direction I believe….” She let out a sigh. “Until now I seem to be unlucky in this area as trouble seems to find me here and I get injured…” She shrugged and then fell silent watching him work and feeling increasingly more and more guilty that she was sitting around doing nothing while he did all the work.

Once camp was set up, they had eaten, and she had found a place to rest her head, she fell asleep. The next morning she choose not to be a burden to the young man anymore. However, in her stead she did leave him 30 gold meza for his trouble, use of his supplies, and feeding her the day before. He looked on him one more time, gave him good graces, kissed his cheek lightly, and limped off into the forest still wearing what he had given her in human form. Her hopes was she would find someone with medical background on her journey further down, and take care of it best she could herself. She hoped that eventually she would along the way see this kind man again in her travels. For now she would have to hope the money she left behind would be thanks enough for his kindness to her.
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[Flashback] An Incident! (Nilkayn)

Postby Nil'kayn on August 7th, 2011, 10:57 pm

Kayn had smiled and listened to the woman. "Well trouble seems to find everyone in the wild, and as for the direction of the desert cities. I'm not very good at working with maps." He had watched her as she had eaten and fallen asleep. This woman was beautiful, and he felt an animalistic part of him that was attracted to her, but he held himself back,watching always watching taking note of every little detail of her body, every mannerism; so when he laid down his head to sleep that night, the image of Kaja was fresh in his mind. As he had awoken to find her missing this had caused great distress for him he had found the mizas, and surmised she had left. He had searched for her then hoping to find her, but his hope was in vain; she was long gone. Packing up camp he made his way towards Syliras, but he stopped and looked back giving a glance to the south.

Don't get all sentimental on me.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Note: Unless stated otherwise, Nilkayn is speaking in common, except for his thoughts.
Disclaimer: All the images I use ARE NOT MINE, and I do not claim ownership of them. Thank you to the artists, photographers, or models who created them.
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[Flashback] An Incident! (Nilkayn)

Postby Dusk on November 11th, 2011, 9:17 pm

XP Award!


Kaja
XP Award: Hunting: 1 XP,
Lore Award: Ninja bears are everywhere,
Ledger: -30gm, +1 shirt, +2 linen bandages

Nilkayn
XP Award: Longbow: 1 XP, Wilderness Survival: 1 XP, Medicine: 1 XP,
Lore Award: Dog-on-bear violence, Naked ladies randomly appear
Ledger: +30gm, - 1 shirt, -2 linen bandages

Additional Note
Okay guys, I'm gonna give a lot of feedback on this one, but please don't be discouraged! My goal is to try and help you become better at it and therefore help you enjoy the game more. :)

Kaja: The initial attack in the first post was very confusing since you didn't actually say what was attacking you, and it made it difficult to figure out what was going on. Try to be a little more clear so that your readers can understand what you're trying to convey. Trust me, no dog would EVER mistake the scent of a bear for anything else! :) Also, be careful with modding action in a scene, like how and where all the arrows landed, without checking the skill levels of the people you're modding. With only 4 skill points, it should have been a miracle that Nilkayn hit anything with one of the arrows, much less all three.

For both of you, be careful that you're actually describing things that are realistic both to your skill sets and your situations. Things like Kaja not having any points or lore in medicine but knowing that she needed some sort of infection prevention - that's not really possible since (a) she's a dog, and (b) she has what amounts to a dark ages peasant's knowledge of the medical sciences. That's what I mean by being realistic, if that makes sense?

Nilkayn, with only 4 points in Longbow you'd basically have just learned how not to snap the string into your cheek when you shoot, much less smoothly firing three arrows at a moving, fighting, roaring, terrifying target. Kaja, Kelvics don't revert to human form when they go unconscious - first of all because their most comfortable (natural) form is their animal form, and secondly because shifting from one form to the other takes an extreme amount of energy. That's why Kelvics who shift are almost always hungry: because they burn off all their energy with the shifts. Plus shifting with open wounds is so painful that most Kelvics would avoid it at all costs.

Also, one arrow in the side isn't going to insta-kill a massive bear unless a Master Bowman is shooting it directly into its brain somehow. Bears are tough and stout and deadly dangerous, and one character with 5 points in Unarmed and another with 4 points in Longbow should be pretty much completely decimated by a full-grown bear. You should have both run screaming with horrific, life-changing wounds, because that's what happens when you tangle with a bear. ;)

Kaja, the wounds you took were accurate for an attack, but your reactions to them weren't quite as up to par. I mean, if your thigh was hanging off in a chunk and you still had an arrow in your hip, would walking around really be possible, much less something you'd be willing to do? The movement would cause much more damage, especially the arrowhead now grinding it's way through her muscles with every motion.

As something to say on the overall feel of the thread, you should both try to interact a little bit more with each other. Your replies to each other were often heavily self-modded, skipped bits in time, and included doing things without giving the other time/space to react. I've found that the best sort of scenes are one where a character says or does something and, instead of predicting the outcome, sees how the other person reacts and then moves on accordingly. You have to think of it as something that would happen in real life, how you would interact with a person. You wouldn't just do a bunch of things and say a bunch of things and then walk away - it would be a give and take. I think that might make your scenes feel a bit more satisfying to both of you.

I've given you what points I could, but a lot of the action that took place was beyond your character's capabilities or knowledge so I couldn't really award points for it. But please keep playing, and next time we'll hopefully get you guys more to work with!


PLEASE NOTE: Finals are over, but summer is eating my soul. As such, as of the end of June I will not be accepting any new quests/modded threads until I finish some of the ones I've already started/agreed to. My apologies for this, but I don't want to be unfair to those who have been waiting for replies!


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