[Gossamer's Scrapbook] The Ethereal Canyon I

[Ethan]

I read your latest scrap about names and other pet peeves, and I was completely behind you on most of it. Good names keep this site serious, chicks shouldn't be focused on looks etc. It all had good reasons and points behind it. That is until it got to girly men. Now I was expecting to see something about girly men not fitting into the world of Mizihar. Which would be understandable because of the medieval feel to it. Instead all I saw was about men “shaving their chests” and going on about love, and that you would give them a medal to shame them in a way? It all seemed very opinionated without facts behind it. You just didn't like it and wanted them to know it. Which is... understandable but still unnecessary. Then I saw this. “don't get too upset if someone beats you up or kicks your ass. No whining allowed if, no when, this comes to pass. ” That part did not sit well with me because it sounded a little bit off putting. I'm sure you did not mean for it to sound like that but from an objective perspective it almost seemed a bit judgmental and I am sure you did not want to come off that way. I know this is only a rant and scrapes are everyone's right. Its an awesome way to voice out opinions and be heard. Although I can't help but get the feeling that something about that last paragraph is a little hateful towards girly men. Should I be worried about who I am on this site as well as real life? I always thought Miz was an accepting place were geeks of all walks of life can come and write. Be whoever they are and make whatever characters they want (sticking to good rules of course). So when I saw this I was a little shocked and worried that I might be wrong in being who I am. I wanted to write here and find out if I should be more concerned about this site. Of course I am being as respectful as I can but this is a sore subject in RL and I didn't expect it to come up on the site as well. If I misread what you meant, then please tell me and I will be glad to listen to your reason and logic. -Mizihar Dork 4 Life (aka) Joey

[Avant Garde]

I will say these things, and only these things... First of all-- If your a chick and the first line of your character description starts talking about your voluptuous curves or hotness.... your on the wrong website. They make places for people like you. *wink*. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE BONY. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE FAT. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE STRINGY. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE SHORT. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE UGLY. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE.....etc. etc. If you're describing your character as being of thin frame with feminine curves, it paints a FAR different picture than saying she's just thin, or she's just curvy. Of course, it's up to the reader to envision some things, but it's the author who gives the vision shape. HOWEVER, I WILL AGREE ON the fact that it's too far if you're saying "She's tall and has long sexy legs and a perfect ass." It's way different. I say, leave it up to the author to decide how the character looks... Why? Because it's THEIR vision. But hey, to each his own. SECONDLY, the acclaimed GMC, girly guys, whatever. Let's face it. SOME GUYS ARE GIRLY. I know a SUPER feminine girly guy who could kick brother's ass any day of the week, rain or shine. And my brother's a big ol' dude. And why do I think so? Because my girly man friend takes kick boxing. You can be girly and still kick someone's ass. Hell, I'M GIRLY. I'm girly and I can hold my own against my brother, a 41 year old beast of a man. I'm fierce, and it offends me that someone gets "girly" confused with "wimpy." That's it. WIMPY. Not GIRLY. I'm a classy girl. I wear dresses and heels and makeup. I curls and straighten my hair. I dance and sing and draw and paint. I go have my nails done. I get my hair dyed. I like to shop. Does this make me girly? Yes. Does it make me wimpy? No. Everyone has pet peeves, guys. It's a matter of opinion and taste. Everyone is different... This is just Jen. I just wanted to put my view out there... Thanks, guys. Agee

[Gossamer]

. Responses I'm really surprised my blog is getting attention and garnering responses. I suspect some of you are taking a purely Mizahar rant and moving it into the context of real life. Seven- I'm speaking of the Drykas Culture not embracing men who are atypically fragile and sensitive, meaning guys do not survive long unless they can wield a weapon or magics, protect their families and do what needs to be done to live in conditions that are less than typical. I know this because the Drykas are my creation as is the Sea of Grass. Their lives are not easy at all. And while every region in Mizahar has its challenges, living the life of a nomad makes survival on the sea of grass even tougher. There are no walls to hide behind, no fortress' to retreat within. People die. Mostly the men because they throw themselves between their families and the danger. It's their job. They are polygamists mainly because there is a lack of males due to survival rates and there's not enough of them to go around because they don't know how to say 'give up' or 'run' when it comes to a fight. That's their culture. I did not coin the phrase GMC (someone else did - I do not know who), nor did I adopt it like everyone else until just recently because it now seems accepted and welcomed in chat. People laugh about it, profess pride in being one, and frankly that's fine but its not a flattering thing when it comes to being Drykas. Chatters use it daily and I find it amusing they've identified this type. My comments, while probably not explaining enough of what I was feeling, is directed to the guys that complain they don't 'fit in' with a culture that doesn't exactly welcome weakness. Hell, faint and frail women aren't welcome either. No one really wants them to bear children because their offspring are likely to be as frail as they are. They are protected the best they can be, but the truth is all of them (the drykas - men and women both) tend to run along the lines of tough, weapon wielding, and ready to defend themselves and their families at the drop of a hat. Everyone else - Weakness doesn't persist in Mizahar. I'm not saying the GMC folks (who proudly profess themselves thusly) SHOULD be beat up, get their ass kicked, etc... but then again I didn't say BY OTHER GUYS WHO ARENT ACCEPTING. I was referring to life in general: Glassbeaks, storms, food shortages, intollerant folks etc. Its the same with women. Incredibly frail little flowers will get wilted. Your ass is going to be beat.. kicked... handed too you. If you look at things through a victims eyes, your going to read into it what you want to read into it. What I say is what I say. I'm not hating on a group of people or a stereotype. My previous blog was about Mizahar. When I blog about real life I always make sure the difference is noted. This was a Miazhar rant, not a real life rant. I don't care if mothers in real life name their kids River Phoenix. More power too them. It matters not to me. I'm very surprised people can't see that as being clear cut and are taking this as (If I'm reading this right) I dislike 'girly' men in real life. I don't think there's really a 'girly' category to be honest. I might just kick someone's ass (and probably have come to think of it) for stereotyping girls as weak and whiney as the context is used in this blog in real life. We girls aren't weak, frail, or sniveling. We are awesome in real life. Do not confuse Mizahar with real life. There was never once (and believe me if I felt this way I'd just come out and say it) that I've said "I don't like feminine guys in real life." My rant on girly guys (the GMC crew) was about the Drykas, The Sea of Grass, and people being upset they don't fit in there. To me this is a 'Really?!?! You are upset??? Duh!" moment. It's kinda like if you create a Symenestra that doesn't want to go on harvest, your going to be running into trouble in Kalinor. If your nice to Dek in Wind Reach, the Endals and Avora are going to look at you goofy. If your an evil badass summoning mage who practices in Syliras, they are going to execute you if they can catch you. Another great example of ridiculous is a Svefra PC who doesn't have blue eyes and insists to other Svefra that he or she is still Svefra and the others who do have blue eyes should go throw their culture out the window and accept the non-blue eyed one anyhow. Don't cry about it if you get hassled. Isn't that kinda the point? There are all sorts of people in real life. I would never do the disservice of calling a slender man girly or dishonor a girl who's larger (like me - I'm 6'4", 225, and built like a linebacker) by calling her butch or anything like this. These words came from others, not me. People come in all shapes and sizes in life, and because frankly in modern times life is easier: Normal people, sick people, healthy people, fat people, skinny people, ugly people, pretty people, smart people, dumb people, all of us tend to survive just fine. That's not the case with Mizahar. And that was my point. I hope you understand that now. Edit: Avant - I don't think anyone is going to call a kick boxer girly. I know a lot of very fit slender men that could out compete many folks on many levels. And I've seen some really big guys get their asses handed to them by very petite girls. It's all a matter of context. But again, I was ranting about people describing their incredibly attractive female pcs as incredibly attractive in the first line, rather than taking the time to describe their details. This is annoying. I particularly hate the word curvy and the word voluptuous. I'll probably write a whole rant about it one day. Maybe soon. . .

[Cayenne]

I'm just gonna poke my head in here to comment, since she often does on my blogs and I don't do it often enough on hers...

'places for people like you' - She was not talking about the GMC - she was talking about people in general who immediately start talking about their female character's physical allure. There's a lot of places out there that cater to that, is all.

Jen's a lot like me in that offline, 'and ye harm none, do what ye will' is something we both feel very strongly about. She separates Mizahar from offline, real world stuff, despite the many connections she makes in her scrapbook. That's why she had "testosterone laden region such as the Sea of Grass or say Riverfall," in there. It's a cultural thing - which, I feel, is one of the beautiful things about Mizahar - there's a wide variety, so much so, that just about everyone can find something that appeals to them. But the Drykas and the Akalak might go "what the shit is this?" at the members of the GMC, because in their culture, you just don't do it. It's just not done. While in some places it's probably perfectly acceptable to do so, those two places aren't on that list, and chances are, your character might get their butts kicked - all she's saying is don't complain if that's what happens. IC actions have IC consequences, and you lose your right to complain if you enter those cultures with expectations of defying their social constructs and being praised or feted or worshiped for it. It's like a vegan coming to Taloba, and being upset at the amount of meat there is there, and, uh, the SOURCES of that meat, and then complaining about it. I'd laugh until I cried and then I'd find some way to put you in a Myrian cooking pot so they can decide if grain/grass fed really does taste better.

She was not advocating that people who don't fulfill certain socially-constructed requirements be beaten up or harmed because of their lifestyle choice. That's their choice, your choice, and she knows that and respects it. She's not talking about real life. Just like I have no issues about vegans and vegetarians (lifestyle choices. I tried vegetarianism, the carbs murdered me because it was just as my insulin resistance was diagnosed,) but in two of the cultures I created, it just doesn't fly... though I do find them really weird in that they say they won't drink milk or eat honey because an animal laboured to make that, but they eat veggies... which means they care more about the cows and bees than they do the immigrants who had to pick their veggies, but that's another story. IC is not OOC, and OOC is not IC.

Me, I feel gender is a social construct and just because you're born one sex doesn't mean you have to be that sex. If you want to look a certain way, dress a certain way, be a certain way... more power to you. It's your choice and your life.

An ye harm none, do what ye will.

And she wrote her reply as I was writing this! So. I'm posting it anyway! >:C

[Avant Garde]

Jen, oh lovely Jen. How I adore you... I don't want you to think I was criticizing! Simply jotting my thoughts. I hate the words curvy and voluptuous, too. Though I have in my CS's detailed the body shape to make the vision clear that she isn't a little bony string bean. To me, that's important. I wish not to offend you, or anyone else here! D: I hope everyone see's Jen's point of view, here... I do. I admit I wasn't thinking along the lines of the Isur and Drykas and Akalak, for example... True, due to their heritage and lifestyle, these particular races truly wouldn't be "girly," I suppose... But I was thinking in general... Ehhh. ANYWAY, this has certainly been an interesting topic. I appreciate the knowledge therefor attained. Haha. <3 Agee

[Aiko Killian]

My impression of what you wrote Gossamer, is:

In an area like Endrykas, the people, male and female, are expected to be hearty and strong. This means physically and mentally. No weeping fits, over emo names or fussing with the delicate things in life. It was created as a climate with a harsh area that forces its inhabitants to either be strong, or simply die. There is no room for weakness in that particular area. When one reads the lore, this strength is emphasized. Read it and you will comprehend.

Names should have solid meanings and be played well. It would be trite to make a delicate sparrow bird Kelvic named Monster Destroyer. This name would make the player, and this site, a mockery.

I do not think any personal, OOC offense was intended for people's lifestyles.

*hugs Cousin Seven gently* Honestly, someone as friendly, intelligent and responsive as Jen would never ever work at being offensive to you or anyone else in her blog. I have not known her very long, but for those who have been friends with her for at least a month, understand the meaning of her current blog.

[Irriari]

Ok, y'all. I'm jumping on the bandwagon of pet peeves here. Personally, my biggest pet peeve in Miz (and I admit that I'm not free of blame here) is when people use OOC knowledge to benefit their PC. One of the examples that grates on my nerves the most deals with languages. Let's say you have an Akalak. It's reasonable to say you know Tukant (fluent), Common (Basic), and possibly a few phrases in Kontinese, due to the few that are on in Riverfall. What irks me is when I see a PC that has all three languages with no justification for the last one (or sometimes, rarely, the last two). How can I have a zith that can communicate in Lhavitian? Where is the justification for that? I may want my PC to haul butt to Lhavit once I make them, but unless I have solid history to back up that language, I don't think I should be able to communicate AT ALL in that language. (Thankfully, there's always Common, eh?). As much as I would have LOVED my pc to be literate... why would she? Same concept.

That's just me. I know that this may piss some people off, but I rejoice that Miz is a post apocalyptic world, and I'm trying to play Irr as true to the world as I can. (It's difficult and I'm fixing my mistakes as I go). Anyways, I'll hop off my soapbox now.

[Poison]

I read the Scrapbook entry in question as well yesterday, and I understood that Jen meant her comment in a purely IC context. It surprised me that it caused such strong reactions in some of the players here. I’m different, and while I’ve had certain problems because of this IRL, Jen was nothing but kind when I talked to her about it. I’ve never known her to discriminate against girly men - or butch girls, gay people and transgendered people - and suggest that they should be beaten up, and I’ve known her for a long time. She isn’t that kind of woman.

I felt the need to write that.

[Verilian]

I just want to say that I saw nothing in that post that led me to believe Jen was in any way talking about real life. And Irri, I totall agree on the language thing. Wing can read because it is part of her backstory, and both her and Massacre speak poor Tukant because of their close proximity to Akalaks and inevitable interaction (however hostile). Massacre cant read by the way. And I was gonna have Selphi be Fluent in svefra, basic common, and dolphin.. but then decided she only just recently started living with the Svefra. Instead i gave her fluent in Common and Basic Arumenic (i think) because she spent her childhood as a slave to epharians. You gotta be true to your character. Dont just pick something because you can if it doesnt make sense. Thats not what Miz is about.

[Bolden Denusk]

All I can say is here here. Look up, read and it says it all. Nuff said.