He sympathized with her profession of not sleeping well with the arrival of the child, and it brought him back to the fond memories of those nights he was home, and had to stay up in the dead of night with his children to make sure that they where alright. In those times if it had been a good day, he might have gotten four or even five hours of sleep, but mostly it wound up being around three hours of sleep at night, and it had been difficult adapting to that he knew. Kavala must have been experiencing the same as he had, though at least it was only one child, and not raising two or even three of the bundles, which he knew from experience was very trying on a man's patience, and probably much more on the woman who had sired them. " Of course, I'm always available for a good chat. It's one of the few things that I can still take pleasure in " he said with no hint of regret in his tone as he tried to hide the pain in those words, even from himself.
Social interaction kept one sane, and with his torments of emotions, he viewed it as something akin to a life line, between him and his sanity, so talking was always good to him. Talking kept his poisonous thoughts away, talking kept the pain buried; talking kept him at ease and focused. He would never admit such to himself, but having a constant place to stay at and become used to with people around he could get to know gave him a start of happiness, and stability that he needed. Kavala offered him that, and perhaps he would have agreed to her offer even if she hadn't suggested paying of his family's debts and take them here, thought that surely was a plus, and he would have perhaps found another way to even if she hadn't done him such a kindness. For now though, until he could more control the chaos that raged inside of him, he needed all the stability that he could get if he going to continue his facade of being calm, and poised.
" Where I am now is because what fate decreed for me, it's a thought that often keeps me calm, and I can never repay you for all of the kindness you have shown me " he said, his words coming out soft spoken, as if the topic was a touchy subject. Indeed it was his mind and emotions where a maze to him, one that he knew not how to get through, and he felt a prisoner to his feelings, instead of the other way around, which was how he tried to play it. He tried to handle it all stoically though, as he had handled most things in his lifetime, and viewed it all as a solvable problem, as if emotions could be contained by some physical measure. He hoped that for his sake that was the case, but he doubted that it would be as simple as that, emotions rarely where. Kavala was being so supportive though, and he suspected that would ease this extended transition he was trapped in, at a place between death and the next, and the confusion of not quite knowing what his purpose was anymore. Little things to focus on first was his focus though, like reigning in his emotions, and establishing himself in this place even more, and helping this kind woman.
He winced at the thought of blood having to be used for such things, but he did not pretend to understand the mysteries of the arcane preferring to leave that to those for a head for such things. Such things when he was alive had quite frightened him, and built a sort of resentment against those that used such strange powers, but since he was no longer alive, such deep feelings settled down somewhat for after all what they could do to him now that he was dead. " It would be good to read from it, thought I haven’t much experience with reading " he said, and he couldn't help but think that he sounded awkward to her. His lack of literacy wasn't exactly a great source of pride for him, and he despaired that he didn't take the time to learn to read properly as a boy. His lack of knowledge wouldn't stop him from trying though, and he walked forward to take a better view of it, placing his hands on either side of the book, though not quite touching it just yet. A good bit of the words he could see where foreign to him besides the occasional, if this, or what, or and came up, and if it was not a simple concept he also had trouble with it as well, and he found himself scratching his head in confusion more often than not.
When he finally managed to work through the first page, he looked up at Kavala to address her question before he moved on. " Turning the page is not a problem when I'm before you as I am now since I don't think my touch can harm it, but lack of reading might just end up holding us back " he said, his teeth appearing to chew the top of his bottom lip, and he despaired for a moment of to that he would probably slow down their progress with his less than sufficient reading skills. Reaching out he grabbed the edge of the page with his thumb and forefinger, and flipped it over carefully, as if he was testing himself and his touch, and the fact that he couldn't feel the page made him worried that he might rip it. The page turned uneventfully however, revealing another sheet of words that he could hardly comprehend, but determined to help Kavala, he tried hard to understand the words, and would do so until stopped or he knew what they meant.
