Victor swallowed the lump of anger that had suddenly grown in his throat. He had seen a flame rise in those golden eyes; she had almost won, and he liked to think he would have let her. But she snuffed it out as easily as she had let it rise. She was nothing but the flicker of fire in the wind, the toil of flint and steel and stiff fingers followed by a short burst of unforgiving air. As he stepped carefully backward and peeled his fingers from and to the sweat-slippery hilt of his dagger, he understood:
She would never be more.
She advanced, snarling. He knew too well that peculiar, ugly noise as it was pushed from a woman’s maw. It disgusted him. And to realize, without a doubt, that these sixty days of haphazard companionship would come to nothing, made him feel used and empty. He could not watch her thrash around like that. He resented her for what she was, what she could never change, no matter how much he tried to help her. She did not deserve what he had tried to give her.
His arm already threatened the blade out between them, shaking with his hatred. Even in red delirium, she managed to briefly avoid its promise of pain, but then her harmless keratin weapons grazed the fat of his forearm. All at once, reflex spasmed through his body and she stepped sideward. The blade tripped against the strength of her ribs but then it found the yielding softness between and, for the first time, if only for a moment, they were one. Victor did not have the energy to grant even the falsest attempt at sympathy as he pushed the blood-warm iron further into her, his petty frustrations manifest. The steel in his eyes pored similarly into dirty yellow of her fading life, searching... for what, he did not know. Then, with the harsh shudder of his elbow, he removed his dagger from that creature which he never knew to call bondmate.