The Spider King's Scrapbook

[Veldrys]

That other Game.

There’s this other RPG. I played it for quite some time. When I found out about Mizahar and discovered that there was an alternative, I quit and started getting involved here instead. There are some great people on the other site, but the stuff that is going on behind the scenes just isn’t any fun, and your work often isn’t appreciated. Besides that, there were some things that made me extremely uncomfortable once I found out about them.

Mizahar was more welcoming from the beginning. I had countless people trying to help me out, even when I was just another new player that might not even stick around. I feel accepted here. I prefer the Founders to the people that are managing the other site. And I find Mizahar’s world much more interesting.

I’ve recently taken a look at the other site again and posted a little with my PC there. I’ve had him longer than any other PC, in any other game. In a way he’s my virtual alter ego. I enjoy writing for him immensely. There is also an adventure I want to conclude, but on the other hand being on the other site always gives me a bad feeling. It was the most fun when Gossamer, Tarot and the others were managing it. When I see what has become of it now, I’m sad. Mizahar is twice as active, and the Founders add new stuff to it nearly every day (Sometimes I worry about Gossamer burning out because she seems to work so hard on Mizahar, to be honest!). On the other site it takes the admins forever to make an addition to the game, and their site still looks like a mess.

So I don’t know what to do. I love that one PC, and I like a few people there, but the rest just frustrates me beyond measure. Some of the best posts I’ve ever written have been on Mizahar (I’m really proud of the thread with Silvy and the thread I modded for Venidus in Kalinor for example). Sometimes Mizahar frustrates me a little as well (I’m allowed to write that, am I not?), but for the most part it inspires me and really sparks my creativity. But still, it’s hard to let go. I’ve put countless hours into that PC and his story.

Do you know what I mean?

[Malia]

Yep, I've struggled with the same problem for a long time. Even after joining Mizahar and realizing how much better and friendlier it was than the other RPG, I couldn't let go of it. There were people I liked and good writers and a character I really wanted to write because they were part of one or two really good plots.

But sooner or later you have to leave the old stuff behind and move on. You can't force it. But I've experienced that it'll happen anyway, no matter what you do, and it'll happen gradually and maybe without you noticing until it's already over. And then you know that you can't and you shouldn't go there anymore and stick to the site you enjoy more. Which obviously is Mizahar.

The bottomline: You don't have to force your leave. If you want to post a little more, just do it. And if you feel that you can't go on with that PC anymore, leave him be. It's all about what you want to do - it's a decision only you can make.

[Gossamer]

. Response I feel your pain a little, because giving up Viskyia was one of the hardest things I've ever done in a gaming context. There was no guarantees Mizahar would make it and we had no way of knowing that monthly we KILL them on stats in terms of activity these days. It wasn't hard leaving the staff of the other game behind because if I could blacken each and every one of their eyes, I probably would have at one time or another. I didn't want to leave Weston and Ted and Annie and Jeremy and several others behind though. They are amazing people and still are. And I missed you, not because we ever threaded together, but because I read a lot of your stuff and held you in such high regard. Jeremy helped me out the door by his IC betrayal and sending his PC back to Nicole. That hurt unbelievably bad - so bad when I think of my PC there it still smarts - namely because Nicole gloated so much about it and how much control she had over people there. Ugh. Just ugh. Even now I use their real names instead of their PC names. I wonder why that is? I think it was because their pcs were so personal... all of it felt personal... It was personal. When someone uses you and then throws you out like dirty bathwater, you can't help but blink. They never even realized what they had in Tarot. He was shushed and all his ideas were rejected time and time again. He could have made that site phenomenal. I bet hes glad he didn't now... that they rejected him so utterly. You had it in ways a lot harder because you had your PCs a lot longer and had a far greater history than I ever had. Your mod was the face of an entire city and culture - one that I truly loved but was always afraid to go play in. Don't laugh! You were on the management team even though they treated you like absolute dogshit which I more than once called them on because I couldn't stand all the favoritism that went on. They forgot your name, never included you, pretending you didn't exist. It was the opposite with me. They tried to micromanage me and control me - my words, my writing, my thoughts, my actions. It drove me unbelievably batshit crazy. It was never about what you did in terms of the game because you gave your all there. It was about what you didn't do... kiss serious ass of the owner and I always respected you for that because I knew... I always knew I could count on you for a fair and unbiased vote on anything we actually got to vote on... which sadly became less and less as time moved on. I was so unhappy there. You are lucky in a way though Alex. You knew there was a stable place to go to. We had to take all the chances and go cold turkey. If I didn't have Tarot's constant reassurance and his drive to be excellent and Liminal's calm almost Rastafarian outlook (he's gotten way more neurotic since then!) I don't think I could have made the change. But I tell you what, it as soooo much better developing for your own site than putting blood sweat and tears into another site you have no control over. And each time they rewrite something I did over there and remove my name from it and just change a few tiny details, I get the biggest kick. I never have to even visit to find out. People come and tell me which is even more fun in its own way. We come out with something cool here, they pop out with it a few weeks/months later. Except Tarot's code. No one over there has mad skills enough to do it. I do believe most of their upper staff is blind even to their own faults. And its sad because a major plagiarist who rarely had an original thought in her life is now in charge of all their development. I still get giggly over that. And if you deny it, at least back when I was playing I can give you a major published sci/fi fantasy book plot and then point to a plot she ran that was right out of it... time and time again. When a new book came out, a new plot would pop up. I used to keep a 'Shame List' of her exploits just for fun. Yea. I'm a bitch. But anyhow, back to your original quandary. I don't support anything I can't agree with. Never have. Never will. I can't live with myself doing that. I hated giving up all that I'd worked for and all that I achieved there, but it was in the end a lie. The owner made it a lie. I still believe they are in the dark ages about a lot of things pbp. Heck, I'm even the one that got them to start posting images in their threads... Grim enabled them finally after a month long begging and pleading campaign on my behalf in 2004 or so and they still don't have any supportive code to really enhance that. Can you imagine a post here on Mizahar without an image in it? Just look at our lovely box code... Anyhow, play where you will. No one will judge you here for being anywhere else. But for your own conscious try not to support people that won't support you. That's never a good idea in life. Just keep the fond memories and keep in touch with your friends on AIM and call it good. .

[Bolden Denusk]

*hugs* I can't say I've been to the sites you have or share those experiences, but I can say I love rping with you as cuddly Silvy! You're a bit pensive, but I like that about you. Vent when you need to with friends, but what it all comes down to is that gut feeling of 'right.'

I floundered on Miza the first month. It was the opposite of the slow and lumbering campaign site I'd just finished. Miza was intimidating but I kept coming back. Why? It felt right! Go with your gut and just keep being the great guy that you are!

[Veldrys]

Thank you for reminding me of that, Jen. Yes, they treated me as if I didn’t even exist. On Mizahar I was Featured Contributor just last month and people compliment me on my writing even though I’m new compared to a lot of others. The people over there didn’t really care much when I was a member of their staff although my city was one of the most active ones in the game when I was still a mod there, and they still haven’t implemented any of my suggestions.

You are right, I shouldn’t support people that won’t support me or appear as if I’m supporting them. My time is better spent here. I think I’ll let that PC be, no matter how much I enjoyed playing him and focus completely on Mizahar. Writing should be fun and not lead to some kind of conflict of conscience. Mizahar doesn't give me a bad feeling, and Veldrys has the potential to become my new favourite PC.

And thank you for your comments, Malia and Bolden. I enjoy Mizahar much more than I ever enjoyed that other game, so I think I’ll let that other game be.

And now on to something completely different. I’m participating in Mizahar NaNo this month. This means that Veldrys will get a lot of posts, but I won’t post a lot with my other PCs or my DS account. I’ll make up for it in December. Hopefully. I felt the need to write that now because I didn’t mention it in my previous NaNo post.

[Goshawk]

You are so Awesome No, seriously. You are an amazing person, Poison, and I look forward to being able to write with you come December when I introduce Aran to Kalinor. I can say, with certainty, that we here at Mizahar would not allow talent such as yours to go to waste. You are as much a part of here as any other long-time member and losing you to something trivial like you mentioned above (excuse me if it sounds like I'm making light of the issue), it would be like losing someone as important as Tabernac or any of the fine Founders here. I can't empathize with you or Gossamer, for the mere fact that my roleplay experiences haven't taken me to the atmosphere described above, but I can symapthize with you. And I can flatter you shamelessly. You deserve gold stars, Poison. I honestly look forward to writing with you and I think you are uber talented and have an amazing skill with words. One for being so badass~ And one for being so bawwss and being a fighter~ So, here ya go~!!!

[Ronan]

Relating to the PBP games discussion:

I've actually taken part in a few, that game being one of them. I stuck them out for a few weeks and then gave up. I found them unwelcoming, elitist, and stuck in their ways.

I know I haven't been on Mizahar for an awfully long time, but I can tell you one thing Goss, Tarot, and all the other Founders: I feel at home here. No other RPG on the web feels so homely to me. That's what makes Mizahar a cut above the rest.

[Caelum]

I saw this and thought of you.

[Veldrys]

I like that spider. Thank you, Caelum.

[Poison]

Posting will be a little slow for a while. I have exams, and I'm moving at the end of the month.