Kavala leaned back against the far wall and looked thoughtful. As if things weren't hard enough already, Akela was going to make it even more difficult. The konti sister was so very thankful that her fiercer older half had survived, but with each word and each new revelation that Akela put forth, Kavala felt even more weight on her shoulders. This was not how things were when they were younger, this was a whole lot harder, a whole lot more difficult. Innocence for both of them was lost - completely - and even as Kavala turned and glanced at Sorian who seemed to be waiting outside, she wondered if things were ever going to change - to bring about peace. All she wanted, truthfully, was a quiet life and to be left alone outside the view of her family and outside the judging eyes of others. Akela could join her and be incredibly welcome, but Kavala suspected her sister's fiercer nature would not let that peace happen or would allow her to be contented even if thats what she desired. Even as Akela said - openly admitted - that Kavala's needs would be her own, the younger konti doubted it and felt incredibly sad if it turned out to be true. Akela should be out slaying monsters, protecting a pavilion, counseling a leader... not trapped here with a frightened hiding sister. Such thoughts caused sadness to course through Kavala, nearly overwhelming her before she blinked, shook herself out of it and rose to fetch a clean bathing robe that was folded neatly on a shelf concealed by two cabinet doors near the bath. The garment was nothing special. It was only a simple floor-length tunic that cried out for some embroidering - nice Drykas knotworking - though it had none. "Here, take this. It's clean. Then you can have the run of my closet or eh... chest, though truthfully there isn't much there. Perhaps we'll go shopping later today. I have coin to spend, but very little to spend it on." It was true. Kavala had never really had an interest in clothing or physical things unless it was new needles for suturing wounds or herbs she could make into medicine. With two of them, her boyish wardrobe wouldn't stretch nearly as far and they'd need the help. "It's too bad Sorian wouldn't escort us. I can't imagine the looks we'll get when the one strange Konti on the outskirts of town suddenly morphs into twins." She said, laughingly. To other Konti the girls were as different as night and day, but to most everyone else, they looked so much alike it was uncanny. The big Akalak simply didn't go to town. Kavala wasn't sure whether it was because of his bride's death or whether it was because of his pride. She'd never asked. "Don't worry, Akela. I understand the need. And I will be honest. It's nothing I want. A normal person would be crazy to want someone to serve their every need. I don't deserve it. But I don't want you torn either, seeking, searching, needing someone to care for. So long as I can take care of you like you take care of me.... Its something I need to do and you know that... then we'll be fine." A sudden sharp flash of her sister whispering her desire to cut her up a little flashed through Kavala's mind and she shivered, frightened for a moment. The truth was Akela scared her. She was something else before their mother's death, but this was something even more fierce and more frightening. Suddenly, painfully, Kavala missed Vanator and wanted his soothing voice. She missed his wife as well - one of her closest friends in the world - because Tamar would know what to do, how to fix this, how better to accept it. Everything had been wrong since Tamar's death. Since mother's death. Kavala blinked suddenly, feeling tears that were totally unexpected and unwelcome. She glanced up at Akela a moment, her eyes liquid, and whispered... "Don't you ever miss them? Mother? Tamar? Sometimes I feel like the light went out of the world when they left it. I can't imagine how hard its been on Vanator, and now how messed up we are. If he ever saw us, Akela and knew the truth.... I could not face him. I simply couldn't." The younger konti blinked, managing to avoid spilling tears, even though her heart was in her eyes. She had desperately missed her family. She said, not realizing something very important. Kavala never talked about pain. She never acknowledged it nor let it rule her. It was part of the reason she was recovering so slowly and had kept herself so isolated. But with Akela here, almost an extension of herself and in many ways her pain revisited only tenfold, it was easier... it was being faced. Even though painfully and slowly, which was how Kavala often approached the world. "I want to break the curse. I think its real. But I don't know how. I thought maybe here, a new life, away from them, it would fade and become no more." She said slowly, then nodded. Akela wanted to talk about work. They could do that. It was a relief. The Konti took a breath, relaxed, and her appearance looked calmer suddenly. "Leatherworking - tack is almost impossible to find here. Saddlemaking - for they don't use yvas though we should probably instruct them on the merits of such things. Herbalism, Gardening, Carpentry, Masonry, Philtering, just about anything you can think of that involves a medicinal facility is required here. It's an artform just making the place so it can be cleaned and kept clean. Any sort of medicine you want to learn is good. We need to eat so hunting is good too. Animal husbandry though I know your already fine with breeding - I really need help especially this spring with getting all the stallions to service the mares and then break in the new horses that aren't actually riding animals. I want every animal on site to be functional for breeding or riding or even harness. I'd also like to start a kennels and provide hunting dogs and cats. They will need training but will help with the facilities security." The Dyrkas had large cats and dogs that hunted and guarded so such things were not new to the Konti. "Pretty much anything you have an aptitude for, Akela, would help tremendously. Even sewing... we don't have a curtain in this place. The horses need blankets or constant repairs to them... and we need tools made so blacksmithing would help too. It's so expensive to get things done here because they do everything so well - its quality work and you pay top coin for it. But there's too much for me to do alone here. Far too much." She said softly, shaking her head. "I very much need the help. But in terms of what sort of help I need... above all the physical labor I just... really really need a sister right now." She said softly and forgetfully reached out to touch Akela's arm, wanting to hug her, wanting to thank her... forgetting for a moment what she was now. |