This is who I am (Fois)

[Rista]

89th of Summer, 511 Av

It was hot. Even considering the fact that she was living on the inside of a volcano, Rista found the short summer months to be sticky, warm and uncomfortable. At least she thought so every time she was stuck with indoors work and was unable to go outside. It wasn't that she disliked doing her share of the labor, far from it. In Wind Reach everyone had to pitch in and help out and no one would get away from that. If one didn't work you wouldn't get fed. It was a simple and straight forward system that had worked since the Valterrian, not likely to change anytime soon, and the young girl had always enjoyed the simplicity of it. It wasn't that she minded not having classes either. It was hard to sit still for a longer period of time and for the most part the subjects were boring and hard to remember. What did she care about distant people and their cultures, or the history of those nations? Everything she had ever wanted was right here, in this remote part of the world and she had no desire to travel away from her home. By all means, Rista enjoyed reading from time to time, but mostly her favorite subjects were about the care and treatment of animals or war strategies. Nothing that had to do with sewing, glassblowing, blacksmithing or any of the other mundane tasks the masters wanted her to learn. No, it was the simple fact that she couldn't be outside that bothered her. Rista was always at her best when she was outside, either climbing the hazardous rocks at Worlds End or making longer hikes down the steep mountain trails to spend her time exploring the lowlands. She was decent at hunting and trapping, and could increase her small incomes by snaring birds to sell. Those were things she enjoyed. Cleaning wasn't nearly as high on the list, not even when it was in the aviaries.

With a faint grimace Rista straightened her back and listened at the crackling sound of her spine as the vertebrates popped back into place. Birds cooed and shifted around her as she tossed the brush back into the filthy gray water of the bucket, and looked over the corridor floor she had spent the past two hours scrubbing. She'd done a decent job, she thought, definitely on par with what any dek could accomplish. It wasn't a merry thought. She was fourteen now, only one year away from having her destiny decided for her and so far she wasn't doing a very good job of impressing anyone. Her skills were few and rather restricted, and right now she threatened to end up as dek, or at best somewhere among the chiet. It was probably nothing wrong with that, it was just that she had so much higher ambitions. To a girl that dreams of flying through the sky on the back of an eagle, the prospect of spending her life cleaning the mess of others was daunting, if not nightmarish. She would do whatever it took to avoid it.
Right now though, her life was confined to a strict schedule. Lessons from breakfast to lunch, then work until dinner or until she was finished with her task, then maybe an hour of free time. Same routine all the time, five days after another, and then perhaps a day or two to spend as she pleased. It was all too often though that teachers or workers grabbed a hold of any yasi that was found loitering around without anything to do, so even that time was rare and precious. Especially to her, who was soon to become an adult.
The girl sighed and pushed back a thick braid of black and red hair from the face. The next time she got even the slightest bit of spare time she would make sure to run away. Only for a day or two of course, and not that far. Perhaps she would try to reach the Katsika falls, or see if she could find some young hawks around the Sanikas Valley. She could manage that if she walked fast, and if she was lucky she would have a bird companion to train and later sell. Another skill she had, but unfortunately it wasn't very impressive, not here in Wind Reach where every other kid got a bird on birthdays.

After confirming that she hadn't missed any spots the young, unusually dark-skinned girl got up on her feet and picked up the bucket in one hand. Now she had to clean out the cages for the smaller birds, make sure that they got fresh bedding and then she would be free. Free to eat, bathe and then sleep; she would hardly have much energy left for anything else. It had already been a long day, and it didn't seem like it was going to end anytime soon. Rista looked around and managed to avoid looking towards the hallway behind her. It lead to the Eagle Aeries and the homes of the Endal, and it wasn't a place where she had any business at all. Not unless she was called to run errands or clean, but those tasks were normally appointed to deks. She was curious about what the place looked like, but she could just as well pick up her daydreams about living as an Endal; it wasn't bound to happen anytime soon, and the best she could do right was to make sure that no one had any complaints about her cleaning. No, better that she continued with her work; the sooner she got to leave the cave with it's heavy scent of birds and dung, the better. As it were she didn't even get to socialize with the inhabitants of the cages, so there wasn't any point in lingering. Rista shifted the bucket to the other hand and began to walk in the opposite direction, her short legs carrying her at a steady pace over the newly cleaned floor, her thoughts already wandering on towards the next task. If only this day would end soon...

[Fois]

The Chefs of Wind Reach knew how to surprise. One would think that in a town where food was hardly a commodity, the magic in the kitchens would be severely limited. If it was left to Fois, it would be unlikely for him to go beyond cooking some meat on an open fire until it was good enough to eat. But the Avoras that worked in the Communal Kitchens somehow managed to turn the plant life and who knows what else into things that in mysterious ways supplemented the food making it taste so different from the simple roasted meat. So different and wonderful. Even when Fois had the plate with the dish in front of him, he still couldn’t understand or imagine how that might be done successfully. How one was supposed to know the way each of the things, which had various names, affected the taste? It seemed that on their own they all could have a good enough flavour, but their combinations might still prove to bear horrible results. The Endal tried to make something special by himself a few times, but the only reason he ate the dish afterwards was in order not to lose face. That was why such activity last happened four years ago. Pushing the last bits of venison around the plate and this way letting it soak in its own juice seasoned with spices that were beyond the rider’s ability to identify, he thought over his plans for the near future. It was already nearing towards the end of his first day off, which, he had to admit, was spent lazily to such extend that he would need to not leave his bed to top it. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend his free time, but after being outside for quite a few bells a week with the sole objective to kill, slacking almost seemed like a precious reward. Still, Fois would probably need to visit the Soaring Arrow tomorrow, so that he got closer to taking away the justification to tease him for the poor skill with a bow from Seleer. Or at least make the bird admit that he was trying hard to improve. That wasn’t always the case and the Wind Eagle was quick to point that out or poke fun at it. The rest of the week would be a combination of his duties: Two days of hunting and three days of being a watchrider at the Lookout, if his assignment hadn’t yet been changed. After he was done eating, Fois grabbed a big red apple from the table. He always liked to take a little something with him to the aerie, usually a fruit. The Endal left the common room of the Communal Kitchens making his way back to his quarters. It wasn’t until he was quite close to his destination that Fois heard his eagle’s voice penetrating his mind. ”It’s been forever since a Dek came to clean my nesting chamber,” Seleer complained. ”How come when you say ‘my nesting chamber’ it sounds so royal?” ”What do you know about royal?” ”Kings and queens from the fairy-tales told to the small Yasi,” Fois shrugged even though the gesture was meaningless given the nature of the conversation. ”That’s not what I meant… You should pay attention to the tone, sometimes it holds more meaning than the words.” The bird paused for a while. ”And that was not what I was talking about at all! Are you trying to addle me?” ”I don’t think ‘addle’ would be the corre-“ ”Stop it!” ”All right, all right,” Fois smiled to himself, happy that he was able to get back at Seleer. It was something that didn’t happen too often, at least successfully. ”I know you want to send me on a quest for a Dek, but I’m almost back. I doubt I will find one on my way now.” ”I believe in your talents. Besides, it’s not like you have done very much today anyway…” Fois just sighed and turned around the corner. His eyes caught a small figure with a bucket in a hand. ”Hey! Come with me,” his request was expressed in a commanding voice. Without glancing at the person another time, Fois carried on to his aerie, assuming that he was being followed. After a short while he entered his quarters letting that someone behind him inside as well. The common room appeared to be rather empty and modest for a person of his status. There were only a couple pieces of stone furniture, since everything else was destroyable easily enough not to survive his early stages of grief a couple of season ago. The Endal turned around and leaned back a little in surprise since that was the first time he looked closer at the person that he had brought back. ”What’s wrong with your eyes?” Their colour was the feature that drew attention the most at first. After the initial surprise the rest of her obvious and unnatural traits would reveal themselves as well. Her skin was not Inartan, her hair were hardly that, too. Only the way she dressed suggested that she might belong to his culture. ”Who are you?” he asked, replacing ‘what’ with ‘who’ at the last moment.

OOCI assumed Rista followed him as asked, because it would make a very short thread, since Fois wouldn't be chasing her if she walked away Anyway, if you want something changed, feel free to PM

[Rista]

Rista blinked and looked up as she heard the sound of rapid footsteps come towards her. The sight of the young man that appeared made her eyes widen in surprise. Her gaze darted from the ring in his left ear to the decoration on his bryda and the black sontav on his arms, and felt her heart almost skip a beat. Endal! He had to be, no other people walked with that kind of confidence, especially not in this part of Wind Reach. Rista was quick to step out of the way and bent her neck in a show of respect - an Endal! This was too good to be true. Sure she had seen them before, it was impossible to live in this kind of small community without ever happen upon them, but this was the first time she was alone with one. She wasn't sure if she should be awestruck or dazed with happiness. If there were any kind of people that the proud, stubborn girl admired then it was the ones at the top of society. Not because they stood highest, but because of what they did to deserve that. Bonding with the giant eagles, hunting to bring food to the people, defending them from outside forces - not that it was ever necessary - and making sure that people had what they needed. Those were things that Rista desperately wanted to do, and for the ones who already did those things she felt nothing but wholehearted respect.

She was already continuing forward, her heart beating hard from excitement when a command made her spin around so fast that the dirty water in the bucket almost spilled out over the newly cleaned floor. Before she even had time to comprehend what was happening she found herself hurrying after the man, eyes wide and with the handle of the bucket clasped tightly in her fist. You didn't say no to anyone who was above you in this place, and for a yasi everyone was above you. Anyone could put you to work, and when that someone was an Endal you were happy to do it. At least, that was the case for Rista, who couldn't believe her luck. Not only was she being addressed by this man, he even wanted her to come along! The direction of their walk was a source of amazement too. She had never been at the Endal living quarters before, and while she followed at the heels of the man she looked around, her strange eyes darting from wall to wall with a growing sense of surprise. She had expected the large rooms, but overall there were little to no furnishing around. Rista swallowed back a wish to comment on it and convinced herself that he must have decided to keep the place this barren. Normally people decorated the stone walls with tapestries and comfortable sitting places, pretty figurines and rugs on the floors. This place felt almost uninhabited.

She quickly returned her attention to the red-haired man when he spoke to her again, and immediately felt how her face heated with shame and indignation at his question. Rista forced herself not to look away from him, only blinked with her unusual eyes and took a deep, shaky breath to try and form a reply. Any yasi who had commented on her looks would have been faced with immediate anger, flying fists and a sharp tongue. More than a few had left the place with severe nosebleed, bruises and bumps. Among the kids around her she was known for her short temper and violent response, but that wasn't something she could do here. She wasn't in any place to flare up to anything an Endal said, no matter how he said it. And unlike most, these questions no matter how frank they were didn't seem to hold any hostility or taunt. That, more than anyhting was the reason why Rista managed to bite back her wish to snap back in reply, and instead make a bow; it could have been humble, if it wasn't for her shoulders that trembled from anger and the deep coloration on her cheeks that spoke of her humiliation more clearly than she could have done herself.

"Endal, there is nothing wrong with my eyes. They are an unfortunate heritage from an outsider whom I appear to be related to." Nothing in the world could make her admit that her father had been a Chaktawe. It wasn't something she was proud of, and she had faced a lot of hard times because of him. She tried to think of something else, anything at all as she continued. Her voice was deep for her age and a bit hoarse, but she somehow managed to keep it steady when she spoke. "Endal, I am Yasi Rista. I am honored to be addressed by you."
There wasn't really anything more to add to that, and the girl was quick to close her mouth again to keep herself from saying anything more. As humiliating it was to have her heritage and appearance brought up like this, she was still more curious about the whole situation. She had been called here, but why? Who was this man, what did he want with her? Surely it was only to perform some menial tasks, but below her rational thinking, the wild imagination of a young girl began to work. Hopes and fears paraded through her mind and over her face who had always been like an open book; everything from being tested for a bond to being forced to leave because of her mixed blood. It only took a brief moment, but by the time Rista straightened her back again to look at the Endal her eyes had once again become wide with wonder and held a slightly bewildered gleam as she waited for him to tell her what he expected of her.

[Fois]

The girl’s shame about her origins appeared to be almost tangible. It was understandable since oddities in physical appearance didn’t make one’s life easier in Wind Reach. But at least the girl understood how pathetic it was to be a half breed that inherited such terrible traits from an outsider and for some reason Fois somewhat liked that attitude of hers. Being proud of having a drop of Inartan blood in you, rather than acting delighted about the extraordinary appearance was an admirable attribute. This girl, it seemed, saw herself as a true Inarta despite that her blood was telling otherwise. The Endal had nothing more to say about that, so he just shrugged as if he was physically dropping the subject of his shoulders. He didn’t know what people leave black eyes to their offspring, but more importantly he didn’t care. A discussion about the world with a kid was not why he had brought her here. And a kid she was, apparently. In the dark corridor he didn’t notice how young the girl was, but in the well-lit common room he could clearly see, and her words just further confirmed, that she was just a Yasi. He rarely employed children for whatever task he had, since he felt that their time was better spent in classes or doing bendi that they have been assigned to by those who are experienced in guiding the development of the Yasi skills and talents. Instead Fois would often rather fetch a Dek and let the children be children. He wasn’t sure if that peculiar soft spot for the Yasi he had, had something to do with the fact the Seleer sometimes seemed to have one too. After all even during their bonding, the Wind Eagle showed preference to the young boy over the more experience and skilled older men. But now that he had brought back a Yasi, Fois wouldn’t have admitted making a mistake nor would he have sent Rista back on her way. He had no intentions in going on a search for a Dek and there was no rational reason not to put her to work that he needed to get done, but only a faint, unexplainable feeling of guilt for putting a Yasi to such menial task. The rider knew it was stupid to think this way. The Yasi did such tasks all the time. Fois himself carried them out when he was a boy. But still the same belief that there was little reason to send children on tasks where they could barely learn anything useful, that he had in his Yasi days still remained with him. Fois looked away from Rista and stared into a blank wall. The silent paused was drawn out to the extent where it might have become uncomfortable, but not for Fois, who was looking for a solution to the silly problem that would make him happy with himself. Finally he turned his eyes back to the girl. ”Alright then,” he began in a tone that if Rista hadn’t known better, would have suggested that the Endal had been having a discussion with her. ”I have a simple task for you, and seeing that you already have all the necessary equipment on you, things won’t be that complicated. My Wind Eagle wants his nesting chamber be clean again.” He raised his hand that was holding the red apple that he had brought back from the kitchen. ”This shall be your reward for the job. Now then. The bathing chamber to get the water from is over there, and the Wind Eagle’s chamber is behind that door.” Fois gently motioned with his arm while giving the directions. His eyes then wandered to some random point without looking at anything in particular. ”I got you a mixed blood Yasi to clean up,” he mentally reached Seleer’s mind. ”You really shouldn’t have gone out of your way for something exotic. A common Dek would’ve sufficed.” Fois could feel a sarcastic smile in the Wind Eagle’s voice.

OOCIf you find something confusing about the post, don't worry - I'm confused too

[Rista]

The silence really was betting uncomfortable. In her mind Rista began to wonder if the Endal had changed his mind about whatever it was he had wanted her to do, and as moments passed by she had time to swallow twice, shift back and forth on her feet and even open her mouth to speak three times. It might just be her impatience that spoke, but when the young man actually opened his mouth and began to speak to her Rista almsot gasped in relief. She took the opportunity to study the man while he gave his instructions - any other time she might have tried to keep her eyes to herself, but when someone spoke it was polite to keep your attention at them, right? - and, conrtary to what he might think she found herself enthusiastic about the task. Most people would have choked a sigh about having to clean out a space as large as the nesting chamber of a Wind Eagle, but Rista only saw the rare opportunity she would get to be close to one of the magnificent birds that she admired so. And as the Endal held up the apple for her to see, a smile actually broke out on her face, replacing the frown that had inhabited her features before. She didn't tell him that seeing the Endal quarters and being of help to him was enough of a reward. She didn't even say anything about how lucky she was to actually be in the situation she was in. Instead she just nodded and bowed her neck once again while she eagerly shifted the bucket in her hand; what a good thing, that she hand't put it down when he called her away. "Yes Endal! Thank you, Endal!" she replied, and after hesitating just a little bit to see if he had something else to add she hurried off in the appointed direction.

The girl breathed out and managed to relax her shoulders a bit when she came into the bathing chamber. The task she had to do was simple, even boring but none the less she found it more enjoyable then spending her time with bendi assigned by the glassblowers or weavers. She would still have to finish her own work when she was done with this, but as she filled the bucket with new, hot water the young girl couldn't help but smile as a trickle of excitement fluttered through her belly. She hadn't been this close to a Wind Eagle before. It was definitely something she could have bragged about later - if she'd had someone to talk to that would deign to be impressed. Rista pushed herself up on her feet again and began to walk, back through the first room and then towards the other door that would lead her to the nesting chamber. A quick glance over her shoulder towards the Endal didn't reveal much; she couldn't see what he was doing, if he was doing anything at all. He seemed awfully free, something that the yasi envied him a bit; she didn't have much free time, especially not now when she was getting so close to her fifteenth birthday without yet having been assigned to a rank.

Rista grimaced to herself. Her thoughts were running everywhere, and to her dismay she realized that her hands were trembling around the handle of the bucket. She pushed the various observations and questions firmly to the back of her mind and stretched out her short legs to close the remaining distance to the door, and after pushing back a couple of ember braids from her face she carefully pushed the door open a bit, peering inside first to orient herself before she slowly let the rest of her body follow.
"Hello?" she tried carefully, and tried to think back at what the Endal had said; would his Eagle actually be in the chamber? "Is anyone in here? I'm coming in to clean now, hope you don't mind..." Her voice sunk a couple of notes and took on a slightly softer tone, the same she used with all animals. Of course she knew that the Eagles were just as sentient as humans, but even so it wouldn't do to startle such a big bird and have her eyes pecked out. Even a red apple wouldn't amount to make up for that...

oocGood thing I'm not confused then. Not too much anyway, at least not yet. Then again, we've barely started.. ^^

[Fois]

Fois walked across the common room and put down the apple on a stone that worked as a table. He lingered there for a while until deciding that he might as well relax at a bath. The girl had just entered Seleer’s chamber and the Wind Eagle was quick to let him know that. ”A noisy one you got me. Did you tell her that I expect guests and not someone to take care of my room?” Fois smiled as he made his way to the bathroom. ”I thought you might feel lonely during the days off when we don’t go hunting together.” The Endal turned on the spout allowing the hot water slowly fill up the tub. He didn’t wait for it to be ready but instead just kicked off the shoes, freed himself out of the Bryda and dropped his Sontav to the ground. Unburdened, Fois climbed in to the tub and lay down feeling his body slowly submerging in the water. ”I wouldn’t call what you you’re doing on your workdays hunting. Usually it looks more like archery related accidents involving a variety of animals.” As the warmth of bathwater was slowly reaching the rider’s chest, he was losing the interest in continuing this sort of discussion that Seleer enjoyed very often. ”I’d say that’s what hunting is. From the prey’s point of view, anyway,” he responded in almost tranquil tone while leaning back his head at the metal tub. At the same time Seleer was watching the young Inartan, who had come to his nesting chamber. The Wind Eagle safely rested in the nest of animal hides, which he had made by himself, with the head bowed down but eyes open and alert. He saw every single Rista’s move once she was in his sight, but otherwise didn’t give any sign to acknowledge the presence in the chamber of someone else other than him. The bird didn’t move at all and if it wasn’t for his opened eyes, one could think that he was sleeping. ”Her eyes are black, her skin is dark, her hair has barely any red in them… You said the girl is mixed blood, but is there any Inartan blood in that mix?” Seleer’s words brought Fois back from his so very comfortable and sweet drowse. ”Hmm?” it was all he could respond with, and even that was conveyed lazily. ”I’m just wondering if you have brought an offspring of outsiders to my chamber.” ”Her words are like of any other Inartan and her shame is more glaring than her looks. And what’s more important – it doesn’t really concern me.” The Endal sunk lower in the tub so that he could feel his hair soak in the water. ”Why does it matter to you who is cleaning up your mess?” ”The simplest reason of them all – boredom and curiosity. What do you think this mongrel could achieve here in Wind Reach?” ”I’m not Valintar to be assigning castes and not an Avora of any trade to be spotting young talents. All I know about her is that she knows her place and that’s good enough for me.” ”So you say a Dek?” ”You make the strangest conclusions,” Fois wasn’t sure why Seleer wanted to discuss this topic. He believed that the eagle was bored, but the bizarreness of the subjects the bird sometimes wanted to talk about surprised the rider. ”Do you think the girl’s eyes make her unsuitable to be of any real use?” ”And what are your thoughts?” The Endal heard interest in the tone. ”I think,” he slowly began after a pause, ”that if her eyes and skin are those of an outsider then maybe her mind is an Inartan one.” ”What do you mean by that?” ”I don’t know,” Fois was beginning to lose the track of his thoughts as his head called to give in to the relaxation. ”Perhaps that despite her faults she might still have something that would make her useful to Wind Reach. Some duty to the community that she could perform…” "So what you’re saying is that she is one of the Inarta?” the Wind Eagle asked somewhat teasingly. ”She might be…” ”And one that’s worth something? There’s a way to be sure,” Seleer said with an attempt to intrigue. "It doesn’t really matter to me that much now,” the man was able to easily resist the seduction. ”Do whatever you want.” Quite some time already passed since Rista had entered the nesting chamber. Only whatever activity she engaged in would disturb the silence of the room. And suddenly any thoughts that she might have been having were interrupted by an alien voice invading her mind. ”When it’s all quiet around you and you listen carefully to your heart, what does it tell you that you are? What then do you tell your heart that you want to become? Can the path between the two be comprehended by your mind?” The tone was quite grand and as mysterious as the words that would catch the Yasi off guard.

OOCHm... I didn't see this coming until I wrote it

[Rista]

The silence of the room was oddly reassuring, and as the girl stepped inside she found that her tension slowly evaporated. Dark eyes moved around and almost instantly locked on the giant bird that roosted among the pelts, head bowed but with eyes that seemed to follow her every move. A shiver of genuine awe ran through her body and without thinking it over Rista leaned forward in a respectful bow; way deeper than any of the ones she had honored the rider with. But then again, she had always like animals better than humans, and the Eagles more than any animal.

Sensing that silence might be the best of options, the short yasi refrained from saying anything else. Instead she just put down the bucket of clean water and picked up the scrub, only sparing an eye to the rest of the room to get a grasp on how big it was before she got down on her knees and began to scrub. It was a chime-consuming task, but for once she found it rather meditative. The reality of the situation had yet to fully sink in, and the feeling that spread through her and rendered a peaceful look on her face was that of warm satisfaction. She was being of use, no one was speaking harshly to her, and to be in the presence of the eagle was nothing short of an honor. For a short, short second the girl found herself envying the dek who could come and do this task so often.

But then she immediately realized what she had been thinking and the satisfaction gave away to disgust. So she wanted to be a Dek? Eat the scraps from others meals, sleep whenever given opportunity and otherwise work until your back broke, without ever being able to go where she wanted to go? It was like stating that she didn't mind living through her worst nightmare every single day for the rest of her life. The force of the brush against the floor increased as she took out her anger on herself at the dirt on the floor - that by the way didn't amount to much. It was a very well kept room. She just needed to work out the frustration that burned in her veins, so much that it felt like it could swallow her up. The process of cleaning wasn't stimulating enough to keep her mind occupied, it didn't take much concentration to dip the brush in the water, scrub a patch and move back, dip the brush, scrub and inch back...

Too much time to think, too much of an opportunity to realize just how precarious her situation were. Unless she caught the attention of someone soon, Chiet or Avora, anyone really, she would be cast down to the drudges come next spring. Come her fifteenth birthday. She had time still, time to improve and evolve, gain in both skill and confidence, but oh, how short it was. After constantly failing the simple tasks she had been given under fourteen years, how would she be able to make up for all that in just two seasons? Summer would be gone soon, and then the winter would come with darkness, snow and restless impatience...

Rista reached for the bucket once again, but between a thought and the next something struck her mind and clawed its way inside. Her eyes widened in surprise and a sudden fright, the brush fell clattering to the floor as she raised her hands to the head and held it, as if that could keep her mind from resounding... As if. It was like having a huge bell inside your ears, and through the enormous feeling of a presence she picked up thoughts, words.. Questions?

Black eyes that teared up from shock over the invasion turned to look at the large bird who's room she shared. Wonder crept over her face, soon replaced by awe and astonishment. He spoke to her!
Only, as soon as her rattled brain began to work again, the questions that lingered felt like mountains weighing on her shoulders. Had he seen straight through her? And what indeed would she answer?

Silence stretched out and the small girl sat crestfallen on the floor, the knees of her bryda slowly soaking up the water on the floor. Her hands felt numb, and as she was forced to look deeply within herself she wondered if she would be able to continue like she had been. She didn't like the things she saw...

"In my heart..." she began quietly, speaking aloud in the Nari she treasured so. She had no idea how to return her thoughts quietly, and she wouldn't even if she could. How could she step in between a rider and his Eagle? "When there's no one around, I feel... lost. Scared. Who am I, really? All I've ever wanted is to belong, but it seems that no one in Wind Reach believes that I am a part of them." She sounded frail and small, her black eyes had a vulnerable glimpse that she never would have showed to anyone. Here, in the silence of the room and with only the Eagle to hear, she could be honest. If it was by him, she didn't think she would mind taking the consequences of revealing her inner core, the soft places where her soul resided.

"I feel like I don't know what to do anymore, because whenever I make an effort to fit in my actions are turned upside down and snaps right back in my face. At times I feel like just giving up..." Her face hardened at the last confession. That was indeed a feeling she hated within herself, and the words that followed were spoken with a voice that sizzled and cracked with the intensity of her feelings.

"But then, I find myself thinking. If I can't blend in then I just have to stand out. If I can't be a part of them, what if I stand above them? I love this place, I love the people and the city, the mountain and the sky and everything that is connected to it. In my heart, I feel like I truly belong here. But if no one allows me to show that and instead just focus on something as insignificant as appearance, I will have to find my own way to contribute. Because unless I'm ordered to leave, I will remain here, like it or not."

Her face turned to look at the dark bird. What was the point of all these questions? Rista felt riled up, her shoulders were tense and there was an intensity to her face that made her look wild, fierce.. Maybe nothing of the things she had said were what he had wanted to hear, but it was the honest truth. She had never pretended otherwise, and while she preferred to ignore the feeling of being small and lonely it was just as much a part of her as the brutal honesty, the fierce pride and the intense sways of emotion. When it came down to it, Rista was probably incredibly easy to deal with, because there were no deceit in her, for good or bad. She would never lie to anyone, and in return she couldn't fathom that others would do anything differently.

She took a deep breath and blinked, somehow managing to tear her eyes away from the yellow stare that appeared to see right through her. As the girl looked down on her hands she felt exhausted, more like she had been running all the way up Sanikas Road without stopping to breathe. How much time had passed? A few drops maybe, the water on the floor still soaked her knees. Strange, how empty and relieved she felt... A stray thought went to the rider in the room outside. Had the Endal heard everything? She couldn't remember how loudly she had been speaking.

[Fois]

Seleer slowly raised his head as the girl was answering. The movement may have had nothing to do with her words as the bird simply shook his head to stir up the feathers. Perhaps the way he kept it bowed down was not appreciated by his neck. The Wind Eagle’s golden eyes returned to Rista in a piercing gaze that, it seemed, looked straight to her very soul. Any emotions or thoughts that the bird had at that time were impossible to read from his look. The way Seleer was watching the girl now appeared as if the eagle had been woken up from his slumber and was looking at an intruder that dared to interrupt his rest. In front of Rista was a sentient being that had just talked to her, though in appearance it was so much more animalistic than people she would meet on her day to day life. ”So in your heart you are an afraid, crying little girl…” the voice no longer was mysterious and instead became sneering and mocking. ”An underdog that has been assigned an unlucky destiny! Someone who, amazingly enough, has a difficult life in Wind Reach! What good is your inner anguish? Tell me! Why is your heart such a coward, such an anxiety ridden child?” The bird paused, but somehow it didn’t get any quieter as the room could not hear his words even when he spoke. ”Don’t you hear it? The hatred and despair in your voice… Do you hate yourself for being hated or are you hated for hating yourself? Do others really have anything to do with how you feel, when you yourself are filled with loathing towards your own very core?” Suddenly Seleer stood up and stretched his wings this way allowing Rista to see how huge the bird really was. He wasn’t the biggest of the Wind Eagles, but inside a cave in front of the young Yasi the bird was a giant. For a moment it might have appeared somewhat threatening as the feathers brushed lightly against the walls that weren’t far enough for the eagle to be completely comfortable, but as with the rise of his head earlier, Seleer soon folded the wings but remained standing with his keen gaze still on Rista. Then, without a warning, the bird began approaching the girl, his talons step by step grabbing the stones on the ground. ”You say you’re going to stand out from the rest, but don’t you already?” the sound of the alien thoughts inside the Yasi’s head became quieter, but nevertheless it stayed just as scornful as before. ”Have you ever seen your throwback features in the reflection? How else do you plan to stand above the Inarta? How can you contribute to the people? What is the use of you?” Seleer stopped just when he was so close to the girl that she would need to lean back her head if she for whatever reason still wanted to see his eyes. ”What would change in… No. What would Wind Reach lose if I grabbed you with my beak and let you go on a long and fast journey down just outside my aerie?” The last thoughts were akin to loud whisper. They lacked the disdain that the previous words were tainted with, but the tone was still unmistakeably menacing.

[Rista]

She had thought that it was over. No matter what reason the eagle could have for doing like this, talk to her and ask those questions, the girl had honestly believed that it would be enough with her answer. She had been honest after all, so why wouldn't it be enough? She had allowed her shoulders to relax once more, the small flare of temper was settling down again, and she even reached for the brush to continue with her task of scrubbing the chamber clean. So be it that she wasn't entirely pleased with her own words - the taste of hopelessness still lingered like bike on the tongue, acid in its bitterness - but there was no real reason to continue delving in her mind. At least that's what Rista thought.

Her surprise was therefore utter and complete when the bird once again invaded her mind, not asking only one question this time. It was more like a volley of sharp, carefully aimed needles, seemingly more designed to hurt than to be answered - in a state of mind that was teetering on panic Rista imagined a scene from a book, where the author described an attack by archers where arrows clouded the sun only to obliterate everything below... Anything she might have been willing to say in reply, every attempt to interrupt the magnificent creature or retort to the accusing questions was pushed back by the sheer size of his presence in her mind. Rista wasn't used to be 'visited' like this. To have another being, a sentient one to that, inside her head, was agonizing, overwhelming.. It was downright painful.

Standing up wasn't to think of. Her entire body was shaking from what was more similar to a mental attack than a set of questions; still down on her knees, the girl found herself cowering on the floor with the arms wrapped over her head. Tears streamed freely down her face and she could feel how Seleer towered over her. Even when he finally grew quiet - it felt like he had been talking for seasons at a time - the mongrel girl remained as she was, shaking and with her breathing coming in short bursts; as if she had been running during all those seasons. Rista swallowed thickly. Every single one of those questions had found its mark, with an accuracy that was terrifying in its merciless strength. Any piece of mental armor had been efficiently stripped from her and left her there, cowering in the shambles and desperately trying to reach for some small strand to hold on to, unless she wanted to slip the last way down into complete hopelessness.

Ah, he was so right. She really was nothing but a scared little girl, alone in a world that seemed too big for her. How pathetic she felt. How pathetic she must look where she cowered in front of the giant predator, so similar to a decent sized dinner... Rista tried to find answers to the questions she really did, but no matter which one she picked she couldn't grasp it, couldn't find anything within her that enabled her to give an answer. What was her worth in her own eyes? Honestly? What good would she really do in Wind Reach? Seriously? The answer was clear and obvious, and it effectively crushed the last of her illusions; that her existence held any kind of greater importance. It was a painful realization for a fourteen year old - for any person, but probably more so for a kid that had based her entire personality on that small sliver of hope - and it left her empty handed. The last straw gave in, and Rista couldn't do anything but watch as she began to slip down towards the abyss.

All that was on the inside, of course. Physically her body was slowly becoming still, and while the tears still trickled down the copper-toned cheeks she wasn't sobbing like before. It was an eerie stillness that lowered over her, even more so as she slowly sat up under the hard eyes of the eagle and her gaze turned out to be defeated. The black orbs had sparkled before, in admiration and awe and anger, but now they seemed empty. Amazing really, how a few hard blows with precise aim could shatter her so completely. Like a mannequin Rista raised her chin back, back until she could look Seleer in the eye; it seemed almost involuntary, as if someone else was holding her strings.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered, the voice sore and agonizing. "What is it that you want from me? You already know the answer to all those questions, don't you? Probably better than I do, because I can't find a good answer to most of them.

I am afraid, yes. Why shouldn't I be? My skills don't amount to much here, so if you want to drop me go ahead. Wind Reach would loose an ant, one worker that may or may not make a difference. Oh, I want to be a part of this people and I would want to stand above them, but how am I really supposed to do that? I don't know.. I suppose I can't, not the way I am right now."

Her neck suddenly seemed to loose all its strength, and fell back down towards her chest. Her hands hung limp on either side, the palms calloused and rough from years of work; good hands, strong hands. Hands that still should be able to learn something new.

"As for why I hate... It seems I do. I didn't even know that. Maybe its because I'm not complete? When I see myself in the mirror I see an outsider, a foreigner. While my words may be Inartan, how can I be sure when I cant confirm it with my eyes? I want to be here, not in some other place but I can't keep myself from thinking.. What if I actually don't belong?"

She wasn't even sure who she was talking to anymore. Was it to the bird, to herself? Maybe it was to the gods she spoke, desperately trying to find some sign of what she was supposed to do. Scraped bare of all superficial pride and anger, Rista had come to realize that this was something she wasn't going to be able to solve on her own. She wasn't wise enough to do so, she didn't know where to start. Once more her head moved, again she looked up at the eagle, half waiting for the huge beak to snap forward and close around her, half hoping that he would change his mind.

"Would you help me?" she asked, and took in the magnificent creature that stood in front of her. "Can you tell me where to start? I want to be Inarta, I want to belong here and I want to be of service to this people. No matter what I have to do I will do it, so that I can be of use... I don't think I can like this."

[Fois]

Seleer had made up his mind about the girl before she stopped speaking. He wasn’t disappointed but rather simply not surprised. She proved to be a child and even though tried to speak in a very mature way, which was probably the only thing she somewhat succeeded at, her words were wrapped in an adolescent agony. Her tone vaguely reminded the Wind Eagle of Fois in his most depressed moments, but whereas the Endal not only saw the fault in himself but also tried to find the solution on his own, doing his best not to give in to weakness, the girl seemed to be waiting for the liberation of her problems be delivered to her, as if she had already given up in overcoming it by herself. When in the end the Yasi actually asked the bird for help, he knew he should have seen it coming, but just didn’t expect her to be brave enough to say it out loud. After all she appeared to be very wimpy and was very easily broken. ”I have no interest in helping you,” the bird answered coldly.”You gave me no reason to want to help and guide you. You’re too lost and confused for guidance, too weak and fragile for a challenge. You say that Wind Reach would lose an ant if I killed you and ants are not significant enough for me. You may not be destined to be cleaning the aeries your whole life, but this attitude shows no signs of leading you to standing above the people of Wind Reach. And that is your heartache, not mine.” The giant eagle turned away from the girl and he began moving towards where the cave opened into the mountain. His voice, however, did not leave her mind for long. ”I don’t need you here. Get out and find a Dek to do the job. I have no desire for the floors to be washed by tears.” Seleer was nearing the edge of the cliff when he was finished talking, and once her mind was finally left alone only with her own thoughts, the bird jumped off spreading his wings and flying away. *** The shallow slumber that Fois was in was only occasionally interrupted by random thoughts piercing through his mind and waking him. A sense of drowsiness was keeping his eyes firmly closed. The Endal didn’t want to fall asleep completely so after a calm inhale he slowly slid lower into the tub submerging his head and face under water. Once beneath, Fois opened his eyes to look at the ceiling of the bathroom past the water, taking in the silence and serenity that wrapped around him under the surface. A long and slow exhale sent bubbles out of the nose and the sides of his mouth until his lungs began demanding air to breathe. Fois granted the wish by sitting up in the tub and all the water that had just been covering him quickly ran down his head, chest and shoulders. Like the stay under water, silence and serenity could not last forever, a fact that was soon demonstrated by the voice of his best friend entering his mind. ”So I was right. Or was it you? I forget.” Fois hated when Seleer began to speak following his own chain of thoughts, not bothering to provide the Endal with some context. ”Carry on. I’ll join in once this begins making sense,” the rider answered with words that the bird would have used himself in a similar situation. ”The girl. That black-eyed mongrel. I don’t think that anything good will come out of her. Not if she stays like this.” ”She’s that bad at cleaning?” the Endal ran the fingers through his hair brushing them backwards. ”No, I just asked her the same question that I had asked you when…” ”You talked to her?” Fois sounded only half as surprised as he actually was. ”Yes. So, the same questions,” Seleer carried same as before, ”that I had asked you when we first met, and…” ”When you first decided to talk to me,” the Endal corrected the Wind Eagle, interrupting him again. ”Well, those two things happened around the same time.” ”I was there for days before you noticed me!” ”Oh. Anyway, the girl crumbled and broke into tears, resorting to self-pitying and desperation.” ”Well, she’s a small girl and you can often be a scary bully.” ”You were around her age then…” ”And you were younger, too… Anyway, that’s not quite the image I’ve got of her.” ”That’s probably because you’re wrong. At any rate, I sent her away to fetch a Dek to do the job. I’m away now myself to have some fun.” With those final words the Endal’s mind felt emptier again and he knew that the Wind Eagle was already somewhere further than their contact could reach. Sensing a sudden urge to prove Seleer wrong and make the bird admit of not being an excellent judge of character and predictor of person’s fate, Fois climbed out of the bath and pulled on the Bryda over his wet legs. Beads of water were still dropping of his hair onto his body and running down. He entered the common room to see if Rista had already left the nesting chamber. If she hadn’t, he would walk across the room to sit on one of the stone chairs and begin rolling around the apple that had been promised to the girl.