Haeli let his question go unanswered. Instead her mind dwelled on intimacy. The first word he asked of her she had no meaning for. Sexuality even sounded foreign to her in Common. The second one though, was a lesson learned because of Dor. It was also a lesson well learned because of Brig. Sentient creatures had no idea what true intimacy was and it held true to her that he wouldn't understand either.
Instead, she offered him a smile that was slightly sad, and moved away without commenting. There'd be time for that later.
Hearing about the bear he'd seen saddened her. More often than not she could not related to people and their activities. She had no idea what a circus was, but she figured it was some warlike group if that's what they made the bear do. Caiyha would have been angered, and Haeli knew if she witnessed something like Emeric had, she'd have been forced to act.
They moved on, she splashing down into the water to truly enjoy it while he settled on the shore, pant legs rolled up and limbs in the water. She came here often to bathe, not having fully developed the concept of baths in the city. Getting clean to her was swimming in the waters of a river or ocean and letting nature take from her what it willed. And the warmth was amazing, not like anything found in the Gyvaka, where wintertime baths were few and far between. Here, in Lhavit, there would be year round cleanness. Had she studied a sleek water form, Haeli would have shifted and enjoyed it. But Big Jaw would have been an incredibly uncomfortable in the warm water. Here, she'd need to find new shapes, new tools, and learn to use them as well as the ones she learned to use in the Gyvaka Swamp.
Emeric was ignored for a time. She played and enjoyed the warmth of the water, letting the bruises be soothed in the heat and the blood washed from her skin. It wasn't the first time she'd made mistakes and gotten a sound beating.
Bears. Maybe that would be a good form to learn.
She'd learned things from him on this trip, about him, and knew he couldn't be pushed or bullied or talked into things. He could be asked and suggested and things could be explained, but in the end he would do what he willed and that was fine with Haeli. She wanted a relationship with Emeric so she could learn from him. That relationship needed to come in the form of respect first, then friendship, and before she could be friends or earn his respect he had to learn to trust her. Watching him, even from the shelter of the water, Haeli knew he didn't trust.
He also didn't understand intimacy if he thought staring at someone's skin meant that.
She knew intimacy as something else. Haeli wanted to tell him, but she didn't want to seem to be lecturing him. But it saddened her heart that he thought seeing someone as the Gods created them bridged some sort of social barrier between them. Looking at Emeric, she knew he was a lot like Lhavit itself, walled in and aloft up against the stars. She wondered if he knew that or if it was something that he'd only see when or if he began to trust some of the people here enough to come out of his own city and walk around in the world awhile.
Haeli moved up close to the shore close to him, where they could talk. She folded her legs so she was settled on the bottom, rocks and mud against her rump but comfortable enough still. Water covered most of her skin so he'd feel no unwelcome intimacy as he defined it. She arched her head back, catching all her wet tangled locks in the water behind her then lifted her head again so nothing was in her face. Then she quietly began to speak. It seemed the appropriate time, now that he looked so relaxed and admitted to being glad to be out here.
"I don't know what that first word was you used, Emeric. But I know what intimacy is. Intimacy is not looking at someone's bare skin. That doesn't imply anything, not really, other than people have spent too much time hiding behind walls in cities and need to hide behind walls of cloth on their own skin as well. We were born without clothing and we should only use it when we are cold or need protection like your armor. We can use it to adorn ourselves and depict signals to each other like profession or occasion, but why else would we need it? I don't dislike clothing, but I've never had much need for it or many opportunities to own cloth." Haeli said softly, cupping the water in front of her and washing her face one more time this time scrubbing it slightly with some of the warm sand all around her that was mixed with the rocks and soil at the bottom of the water.
The sky had slowly darkened and the night was well upon them. Stars winked into existence as the day creatures slowly departed and the night creatures came out of their hiding. The transitional periods lingered in Lhavit - twilight - they called it. It hung for an eternity as if warning all the denizens that a change was coming. Night in the Gyvaka was dangerous and it was far easier for her to be out during the day. Lhavit just seemed equally welcoming both day and night so there was no fear in her at the transition. The world in the wild was welcoming, music spilled out by hundreds of insects and it was the type of music no human bard could reproduce on strings or through their breath.
When she was done washing, she took a moment to look at him thoughtfully, a smile playing across her lips because he was so relaxed. "Intimacy means so much more to me than just looking upon something. Here, out of the city, we are surrounded by the Gods. Makutsi enfolds me here, warmed by Ivak's fire. Semele holds us cupped in her hands so that none of the waters drain out. Leth and Zintila shed light upon us while Zulrav's winds warm us. Can't you feel all of Caiyha's wild around you infused with Kihala's life? Such intimacy, Emeric... such deep and abiding intimacy. Its not something you get just staring at skin. It is a gift, to have a place among the living and to experience all the world has." Haeli said softly, meeting his gaze in the falling light with her gold one. Her gold gaze glowed with reverence and appreciation. If he was half good at reading people he'd understand what she was trying to tell him. There was nothing to read into her actions other than what her actions were. This was no seduction scene, no means to lure him into something he'd best find with coin where there was a beginning and a set ending and everyone walked away in the end. Haeli was just being Haeli, and as much as she struggled to understand what that was, he too was still finding his footing when it came to such things.
Being on ones own did that. Being free did that. Once you had all the choices in the world, the world tended to pile them on moment by moment, breath by breath. And even being who you were was a choice.
"With Caiyha's mark comes a gift, a language that all things know. You know it Emeric, even if you don't understand you do. Sentient creatures find it disturbing. But the plants and animals all around us speak it to each other often. Just touching one and invoking the mark on my leg lets me see them in a way you can't look with your eyes, Emeric. You see inside, into their hearts and they in turn see into yours. There is light there and darkness, secrets and desires, and all things people aren't meant to know or want to guard. You know things about them, things that are sometimes hard to know or brings an easy smile to your face. If I touched you with Nura, Emeric, you would know intimacy and it would put what you worry about or what you feel is implied in perspective so that you could see it is nothing. But I touched someone once with it, someone like us, and it was not a good thing. It scared her and she was afraid. My place here isn't to make anyone afraid. I'm here to help. Nura is a tool for that help. They mark us, Emeric, so we can help them and they can help us. They put us in good and bad situations so we can learn and be strong." Haeli said, trying to make Emeric understand what she was trying to tell him.
"My heart holds secrets. I am lonely and want to know my family. I've never had parents and when I see families in Lhavit with two people and their children, I wonder what my mother and father were like. It is a secret pain, bitter and sweet both in my heart. Because of the storm and the ship sinking, I ended up in the Gyvaka. I became a witch, growing into it, which is not something I would have had happened if I'd have grown up with a family. Loosing my family was a gift of sorts. A painful one, but it was a means to an end and I know Caiyha needs me. It is not because I am special or important, but it is because I can be open and learn what she has to teach me and in turn can use it to help. I think I was sent here by her to help Lhavit, to balance its people and its wilds. I need to have a purpose, Emeric. I need to know that what I do and what I can do has meaning. I think that is something human, for other animals don't feel that way." She said softly, moving slightly in the water. Everything was still covered, still concealed, still minding his own modesty.
She was talking... more talking than she'd done in a season.
"Emeric, won't you come into the water and bathe? Enjoy it. There's no one here but the Gods and I suspect they find human hangups interesting. I have a man's shape if it will make you feel things are less implied. And we can swim together and float in the heat as brothers. Okay?" She said, trying once more to gently coax him into the water... all of him, not just his legs.
Instead, she offered him a smile that was slightly sad, and moved away without commenting. There'd be time for that later.
Hearing about the bear he'd seen saddened her. More often than not she could not related to people and their activities. She had no idea what a circus was, but she figured it was some warlike group if that's what they made the bear do. Caiyha would have been angered, and Haeli knew if she witnessed something like Emeric had, she'd have been forced to act.
They moved on, she splashing down into the water to truly enjoy it while he settled on the shore, pant legs rolled up and limbs in the water. She came here often to bathe, not having fully developed the concept of baths in the city. Getting clean to her was swimming in the waters of a river or ocean and letting nature take from her what it willed. And the warmth was amazing, not like anything found in the Gyvaka, where wintertime baths were few and far between. Here, in Lhavit, there would be year round cleanness. Had she studied a sleek water form, Haeli would have shifted and enjoyed it. But Big Jaw would have been an incredibly uncomfortable in the warm water. Here, she'd need to find new shapes, new tools, and learn to use them as well as the ones she learned to use in the Gyvaka Swamp.
Emeric was ignored for a time. She played and enjoyed the warmth of the water, letting the bruises be soothed in the heat and the blood washed from her skin. It wasn't the first time she'd made mistakes and gotten a sound beating.
Bears. Maybe that would be a good form to learn.
She'd learned things from him on this trip, about him, and knew he couldn't be pushed or bullied or talked into things. He could be asked and suggested and things could be explained, but in the end he would do what he willed and that was fine with Haeli. She wanted a relationship with Emeric so she could learn from him. That relationship needed to come in the form of respect first, then friendship, and before she could be friends or earn his respect he had to learn to trust her. Watching him, even from the shelter of the water, Haeli knew he didn't trust.
He also didn't understand intimacy if he thought staring at someone's skin meant that.
She knew intimacy as something else. Haeli wanted to tell him, but she didn't want to seem to be lecturing him. But it saddened her heart that he thought seeing someone as the Gods created them bridged some sort of social barrier between them. Looking at Emeric, she knew he was a lot like Lhavit itself, walled in and aloft up against the stars. She wondered if he knew that or if it was something that he'd only see when or if he began to trust some of the people here enough to come out of his own city and walk around in the world awhile.
Haeli moved up close to the shore close to him, where they could talk. She folded her legs so she was settled on the bottom, rocks and mud against her rump but comfortable enough still. Water covered most of her skin so he'd feel no unwelcome intimacy as he defined it. She arched her head back, catching all her wet tangled locks in the water behind her then lifted her head again so nothing was in her face. Then she quietly began to speak. It seemed the appropriate time, now that he looked so relaxed and admitted to being glad to be out here.
"I don't know what that first word was you used, Emeric. But I know what intimacy is. Intimacy is not looking at someone's bare skin. That doesn't imply anything, not really, other than people have spent too much time hiding behind walls in cities and need to hide behind walls of cloth on their own skin as well. We were born without clothing and we should only use it when we are cold or need protection like your armor. We can use it to adorn ourselves and depict signals to each other like profession or occasion, but why else would we need it? I don't dislike clothing, but I've never had much need for it or many opportunities to own cloth." Haeli said softly, cupping the water in front of her and washing her face one more time this time scrubbing it slightly with some of the warm sand all around her that was mixed with the rocks and soil at the bottom of the water.
The sky had slowly darkened and the night was well upon them. Stars winked into existence as the day creatures slowly departed and the night creatures came out of their hiding. The transitional periods lingered in Lhavit - twilight - they called it. It hung for an eternity as if warning all the denizens that a change was coming. Night in the Gyvaka was dangerous and it was far easier for her to be out during the day. Lhavit just seemed equally welcoming both day and night so there was no fear in her at the transition. The world in the wild was welcoming, music spilled out by hundreds of insects and it was the type of music no human bard could reproduce on strings or through their breath.
When she was done washing, she took a moment to look at him thoughtfully, a smile playing across her lips because he was so relaxed. "Intimacy means so much more to me than just looking upon something. Here, out of the city, we are surrounded by the Gods. Makutsi enfolds me here, warmed by Ivak's fire. Semele holds us cupped in her hands so that none of the waters drain out. Leth and Zintila shed light upon us while Zulrav's winds warm us. Can't you feel all of Caiyha's wild around you infused with Kihala's life? Such intimacy, Emeric... such deep and abiding intimacy. Its not something you get just staring at skin. It is a gift, to have a place among the living and to experience all the world has." Haeli said softly, meeting his gaze in the falling light with her gold one. Her gold gaze glowed with reverence and appreciation. If he was half good at reading people he'd understand what she was trying to tell him. There was nothing to read into her actions other than what her actions were. This was no seduction scene, no means to lure him into something he'd best find with coin where there was a beginning and a set ending and everyone walked away in the end. Haeli was just being Haeli, and as much as she struggled to understand what that was, he too was still finding his footing when it came to such things.
Being on ones own did that. Being free did that. Once you had all the choices in the world, the world tended to pile them on moment by moment, breath by breath. And even being who you were was a choice.
"With Caiyha's mark comes a gift, a language that all things know. You know it Emeric, even if you don't understand you do. Sentient creatures find it disturbing. But the plants and animals all around us speak it to each other often. Just touching one and invoking the mark on my leg lets me see them in a way you can't look with your eyes, Emeric. You see inside, into their hearts and they in turn see into yours. There is light there and darkness, secrets and desires, and all things people aren't meant to know or want to guard. You know things about them, things that are sometimes hard to know or brings an easy smile to your face. If I touched you with Nura, Emeric, you would know intimacy and it would put what you worry about or what you feel is implied in perspective so that you could see it is nothing. But I touched someone once with it, someone like us, and it was not a good thing. It scared her and she was afraid. My place here isn't to make anyone afraid. I'm here to help. Nura is a tool for that help. They mark us, Emeric, so we can help them and they can help us. They put us in good and bad situations so we can learn and be strong." Haeli said, trying to make Emeric understand what she was trying to tell him.
"My heart holds secrets. I am lonely and want to know my family. I've never had parents and when I see families in Lhavit with two people and their children, I wonder what my mother and father were like. It is a secret pain, bitter and sweet both in my heart. Because of the storm and the ship sinking, I ended up in the Gyvaka. I became a witch, growing into it, which is not something I would have had happened if I'd have grown up with a family. Loosing my family was a gift of sorts. A painful one, but it was a means to an end and I know Caiyha needs me. It is not because I am special or important, but it is because I can be open and learn what she has to teach me and in turn can use it to help. I think I was sent here by her to help Lhavit, to balance its people and its wilds. I need to have a purpose, Emeric. I need to know that what I do and what I can do has meaning. I think that is something human, for other animals don't feel that way." She said softly, moving slightly in the water. Everything was still covered, still concealed, still minding his own modesty.
She was talking... more talking than she'd done in a season.
"Emeric, won't you come into the water and bathe? Enjoy it. There's no one here but the Gods and I suspect they find human hangups interesting. I have a man's shape if it will make you feel things are less implied. And we can swim together and float in the heat as brothers. Okay?" She said, trying once more to gently coax him into the water... all of him, not just his legs.
