It Is The Summer Of My Smiles (Seodai)

[Syllke Skyglow]

Syllke’s gaze swiveled back and forth between the two young men and Seodai. What was going on under that tree, and the natural reaction it engendered in Syllke, was juxtaposed against a convoluted swirl of feelings, the focal point of which was Seo. When Seodai grabbed him, somehow it all became a roiling tumbling mix which Syllke found confusing and inseparable one from the other. As Seo began to laugh, his entire body shaking with contained mirth, Syllke was torn between trying to quiet him and wanting to join him in that laughter – anything to still the feelings he wished not to feel. Seodai’s fingers were grasping his shirt, and Syllke felt the warmth of his face pressed into his upper arm and chest. Without thinking - or perhaps without caring to think about what he was doing – Syllke’s arms slipped around Seo and held him even more tightly, as Seo tilted his face up to look at his friend. “Seo, for god’s sake, keep it down.” His eyes once again darted to the two lovers and he swallowed hard, trying to avoid letting what he saw destroy what little control he was able to muster. “Shhh . . . !” He said with that universal hushing sound, bending his face close to Seodai’s. “If they see us . . . “ Well, he really had no idea what would happen if either of the other two looked up and caught them playing peeping toms – and with Seo’s mouth once again inches from his, he wasn’t exactly sure that he cared. “Seo – please . . . “

[Seodai]

Seodai had no idea what was the matter with him, why he couldn't simply stop, even as Syllke urged him to do just that. It was terribly out of character for him to be so out of control, but he just.. couldn't. The ridiculous nature of the moment was just too much to resist. He and Syllke, both fully grown, were peeping at the lovers behind them like schoolboys, and though Seo had come across lovers before, he had never seen that. It was far from laughable - it was damned sexy, quite stirring, but the fact that he and Syllke had been after seal pups while other boys their age were apparently engaged in those sorts of activities... well, somehow it was all just freaking hilarious. "S-sorry..." he managed to sputter, but even his best attempts at heeding his friends warning failed. Seo bit back another snorting fit of laughter, biting at his full lower lip. He was impishly beautiful, and Syllke would learn during the length of their friendship that these moments were oh so rare with the farmer. He was all too often subdued, reserved. Never had he seemed so free. Unfortunately, never had he been so loud, either. It was inevitable, really, that the lovers would hear him. Seodai didn't see the moment it happened, because he was still glancing up at Syllke, who was so very close, yet looking just past him in anxiousness towards the tree. He did see, however, the moment Syllke's alarm took on a whole new meaning. And then... Seodai had his very first kiss, with the Vantha who had come to be his best friend. Syllke felt desperate against him, and in some distant part of his mind Seodai chalked it up to the rush of being found out. His lips were firm, intent upon quieting the Denvali farmer. Seo laughed against them, still, and it wasn't until Syllke's lips parted and his wine sweetened tongue demanded entrance beyond Seo's own that the boy finally quietened. And then there was a moment, a full, lasting moment, where those boys didn't exist anymore. There was the new and novel pressure and sensation of lips against his own, the heat and moisture of Syllke's mouth, the way his tongue so expertly stroked against Seodai's own. He felt long fingers curl in his mop of blonde curls, holding him in place with a strength Seo would have never thought possible of Syllke. Not that he was making any move to escape, really. His initial response was about as sheepish and shy as the way Seo approached anything on a first go. The weight of Syllke's passion was a heavy one, though, and Seo soon buckled beneath it. One free hand lifted to clutch at the Vantha's shoulder and, intuitively, Seodai allowed his eyes to drift closed. Behind them, only one of the boys had even noticed their presence. Syllke had kissed Seo at the most opportune moment and, for all appearances, they were lovers too. The other Denvali youth was far more preoccupied with the beauty in the dirt in front of him, and so he went back to his own rendezvous with little more than a glance. Seo was oblivious to all that, at present. It'd make sense later, and he'd thank Syllke for saving their asses. For now? For now, he was startled by the fact that the little pleased noise he had just heard between their parted lips had come from himself.

[Syllke Skyglow]

There was really no way to sort it all out. Seo’s revelation, the heat of his thin frame pressing into Syllke’s side, the spectacle of the two boys who still were oblivious to their presence – though that was bound to change any second if Seo didn’t quiet down – his mouth so close to his friend’s, his own disappointment – all of it swirled and clashed and broke apart and reformed in a way that Syllke would never be able to describe or comprehend. One moment he had his gaze fixed once again on the site of what might have been himself and Seo – might have been, one day, but wouldn’t be. The next moment, seeing that other boy’s head tilting up, Seo’s laughter having finally been heard, Syllke dropped his own head – perhaps with the intent to merely hide his face in embarrassment. Instead, his lips met Seo’s and it was all over. Every conscious, cohesive thought flew right out of his head, and he could only kiss those lips, that mouth, passionately, deeply. It didn’t matter that Seo didn’t get it, his mirth still causing his shoulders to shake. It didn’t matter that Seo hadn’t wanted this – that he was smitten with someone named Lysander – and it was painfully obvious that he hadn’t been thinking of Syllke in these terms. One hand moving to grip Seo’s arm, the other instinctively twining in Seo’s long curls, Syllke pressed his lips down hard, catching Seo’s intake of breath and sliding his tongue inside that warm, wet, laughing mouth, tasting the boy in his arms and only wanting more. Somewhere, vaguely, Syllke was aware that Seodai was hesitating now, and he half expected his friend to pull away. If he had, it was anyone’s guess if Syllke would have let him go so easily, as the feelings surging through both mind and body intensified with each passing moment. But then he felt Seo relax, and his hand grasping Syllke’s shoulder, the smallest of sounds – barely more than a contented sigh, escaping his lips. Insensible to all but Seo’s mouth against his, Syllke shifted a little, his hand moving from Seodai’s arm to the side of his neck, leaning forward, the better to deepen their kiss. Without thought, he let the name slide from his lips. “Gods, Seo . . .”

[Seodai]

Seodai felt dizzy. There wasn't enough air, but the taste of Syllke was better than that, so he didn't want to give up the kiss to flounder for a clearer head. He felt those long, beautiful fingers against the burning flesh of his throat, the momentum of Syllke's body unbalancing them until Seodai felt dirt and earth beneath his shoulders, his back. With no need to support himself, Seodai had both hands free. One fell to the nape of Syllke's neck, fingers lightly tangling into the soft hair there, and the other rested at the place where shirt and trouser refused to meet, giving Seo's fingers skin to grip onto. The moments that followed passed all too quickly; Seodai exploring the nuances of Syllke's mouth, testing his lower lip with his teeth, suckling at the skilled muscle of his tongue. It was the most marvelous new experience, new plaything, new concept, this kiss. Rational thought was far removed from the moment, and so he wasn't even trying to justify subjecting Syllke to his experimentation. Nor did he attempt to connect it to emotive impetus - however quiet and soft-spoken Seo was he was, still, just a guy. And kissing Syllke felt fantastic, especially after he'd tortured himself with a length of observing those two, of daydreaming of his beautiful fallen one in such compromising positions. Seodai, trapped beneath Syllke's frame, shifted. One knee bent up so that the Vantha, pressed atop him, could fit more easily into the frame of his thighs. This, and nothing else, would prove to be the undoing of the moment, the embrace. Because as Syllke settled into him, their hips ground pleasure into like pleasure. Even through their clothing it was incredibly intense, at least for Seo, who had just tasted his very first kiss. He groaned audibly into Syllke's mouth and then, in alarm, shifted their positions so abruptly that it was Syllke splayed on the ground now, with his farmer hovering atop him. Seo muffled another sound, and quickly shifted so that his palms supported his weight better and there was less of him being stimulated. Silence followed, in which Seodai could only stare down at the Vantha. His blonde curls were awry from where Syllke's fingers had clutched them, his cheeks flushed, lips full and pouty, even as his chest heaved with breathlessness. Syllke looked precisely the same, except that those eyes danced so damned beautifully with color. It was the loveliest Seo had ever seen him. The moment was thick and hard to wade through, Seodai struggling to find his center of logic and think with that. After a long moment of this quiet consideration, Seodai shot his friend a sheepish smile. "Sorry?" And then he crawled across Vantha thighs so that he could sprawl in the dirt beside the boy, their heads nearly touching. Seo reached out for Syllke, patting his hand, and then leaving his own atop the other. He felt like he should speak. Like he should explain that completely inappropriate behavior or...something. But he didn't have the words. He could still taste his friend on his lips, still feel the surge of hormone and desire pulsing in every cell of his being, demanding that he shirk logic and sensibility and assuage it. And so, he was quiet.

[Syllke Skyglow]

It was perhaps a good thing that Seodai had finally moved to lay beside him, and not on top of him. A good thing, and a very sad thing, in Syllke’s estimation. How a simple kiss – one that wasn’t even supposed to happen - had progressed so rapidly to him being sprawled on top of Seo, Syllke couldn’t even begin to say. The taste of Seodai, the burn of his fingers gripping Syllke right above his hip bone, and then the shifting that had brought them into such delightfully intense, painfully arousing contact, it had all meshed and woven a net of desire around Syllke such as he had never known before. So – it was a good thing that Seo had had the sense to stop it in its tracks. Right? Because Syllke knew damn well that he would not have stopped – not unless Seo had wanted him to. Trying hard to refocus, to regroup, to smash feelings and sensations both within and without, hard – to bury them and relax and remember. It wasn’t him that Seo wanted. In all likelihood, it hadn’t been him that Seo was even thinking about as they had pressed as much of their bodies and mouths together as they could, for those brief moments. It wouldn’t have mattered – he would not have cared, he told himself, unless Seo did. And apparently, Seo did. Why else would he feel the need to apologize? What was there to apologize for – if not guilt? One hand was trapped under Seo’s light touch. His other went to his face, running down from forehead to chin, as if he would wipe away that kiss. His heart hammered so hard it felt like it would burst, so he waited, a very long moment, his forearm resting now over his closed eyes, blocking out the sunlight. He couldn’t help it. Though he wanted to punish Seodai for that kiss, instead, Syllke’s trapped hand slipped palm upwards, so that he could grasp Seo’s long, thin, strong, rough fingers in his. He chuckled very softly, though it might have sounded more like a half sob. “Gods, Seodai – takes a lot to make you shut up, doesn’t it?”

[Seodai]

Completely oblivious to the inner turmoil he had caused for Syllke, for the mess of emotion the Vantha was now having to sort through, Seodai simply stared into the blue sky streaked with Syna's rays, and tried to calm his own heart. He felt more than a little awkward because of the situation he'd put them in, and he just didn't know what to say. Syllke, who always seemed to know just what to do, extended mercy to him. He made Seodai sag into the warm earth with relief when those fingers upturned, tangled in his, and squeezed ever so lightly. Seodai felt, then, as if everything could be alright. Perhaps he hadn't ruined their friendship with a reckless kiss. He rolled to his side, draping one arm along Syllke's chest so that he could prop his chin atop his own forearm. He grinned up at the half-covered face, blushing anew - this time with something like shy embarrassment. "I think... it was just... them, and you were... I... gods, Syllke. Forgive me? I swear I will never jump you at random again," he said, laughing lightly. He wanted to go on to tell his friend that he didn't regret it. He wanted Syllke to understand that it had been rather, well, fantastic. He had a lot of things he wanted to make Syllke aware of. But the lightness of the moment, at least as he perceived it, was easier to sink into. And so he didn't say all of those things. He simply reached up to tug on one dark strand of Vantha hair. "How long do you think we'll have to lay here and pretend we're not aware of those two?"

[Syllke Skyglow]

Syllke did not uncover his eyes as Seodai rolled over and so casually plopped his arm across Syllke’s chest. He felt the weight of Seo against him again, and the warmth of his breath on his chest, but he did not trust himself to look at the other boy. Almost imperceptibly, he shrugged as Seo stammered out his attempt at an explanation for that fantasical moment. Whatever went unsaid was definitely not implicitly understood by Syllke. If Seo had other thoughts or feelings about it, all Syllke heard - all he understood – was that Seo saw it as an aberration and it wouldn’t be happening again. Fine. That tug was too much. Suddenly, Syllke wanted up, and away from Seo. Not understanding his friend’s motivations any more than Seo understood what was going on inside Syllke’s heart, Syllke wanted Seo to stop touching him. Syllke rolled over onto his side, dislodging Seo from his chest, turning his back to him as he looked at the trees. He had to look downwards as the two other young men had dropped to the ground. Syllke watched for one moment, then slid to his feet, crouching down though, so the intervening rocks and brush would still obscure him. He didn’t really think the two would look up – the one had already seem them, and had made no outcry. Those two were far too busy, far too enmeshed in each other, to care. Lucky bastards. “Come on.” He whispered fiercely. “I’m tired of waiting. They might be at it all day.” Lucky, lucky, lucky bastards, he thought, his heart aching and his own body echoing his sentiments. “There’s a way down the cliff – and then we can climb over, and back up. It’ll work. You just have to be a bit careful – there’s only one tricky part.” He looked into Seo’s beautiful blue eyes, which had grown a bit rounder and wider. Eyes that melted away his momentary ire, to replace it with the warmth he always felt when looking into them. Eyes that caught at his heart and held it captive, despite what had just transpired. “Don’t worry,” he said, more softly. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Seo. Trust me.” Syllke held out his hand to pull his friend to his feet.

[Seodai]

That easy warmth that Seodai had perceived was shattered, his dear friend icing over and shrugging him off as if merely touching him were somehow painful. Seo was dislodged awkwardly, and left to gape in raw confusion at the back of the Vantha. Completely unaware of the reason behind his upset, the farmer could only assume that it was his inappropriate behavior, the kiss, that had unsettled Syllke so. A lump formed in his throat, one that he couldn't swallow. Syllke was speaking then, in a tone he had never heard before. Most certainly not directed towards him. It was bruising, those hissed words - nonsensical as they may have been, still talking about the two lovers that Seo was completely unconcerned with now. To hell with them. "Syllke," Seo managed, his blue eyes wide with surprise as his friend at last turned to glance at him again. The bitterness seemed to melt away, but Seo felt as if the ground beneath him was unsteady - even as he accepted that graceful hand and stood. He said nothing as he followed, not even to complain lightly about the apparent danger. He always suggested an alternate route to one that included danger. With a bruised pride (was he such a terrible kisser?) and the great weight of guilt (had he upset Syllke so?) Seodai followed down the cliff miserably. The quiet between them was suffocating, and the way was more difficult than Syllke had implied. He must have been desperate to get away from that moment, from Seo, from the memory of their kiss. Seodai felt conflicted about that notion in ways he did not yet understand, but one thing was certain. The absolute elation of a few moments prior was entirely gone now. The journey down was a scrambling, slipping sort of mess, bloodying his palms before they made it. Seodai, feeling raw enough, kept his fingers curled into his palms when he was able - unwilling to let Syllke see his weakness, his glaring flaw. The short walk across as easy enough, and as he balanced upon the rounded stones that kept their feet dry he thought of the time he had ruined Uncle Theo's precious flower. It was the last time he could recall feeling so terrible over something he had done, and wallowing in his own misery made it impossible for him to see just how reciprocal that kiss had been. He swallowed the blame entirely, and by the time they were working their way up he was trying to decide just how to go about making amends. Bala had shown up on that night with Uncle Theo, turning the worst night into the very best. He couldn't see such hope for this day, though, and his distraction was making for a difficult trek up the cliff face. Had they even reached the tricky part, yet? It wasn't until Seodai hesitated to mount a crumbling edge that Syllke turned to him again, those lovely lines of his face tight. What was he thinking? "Syllke," he said again, as impatience or concern or who knew what prompted the Vantha to extend a hand to him. Seodai hesitated, and then reached for it - crimson making their grip a slippery one. Instead of attempting to pull himself up, though, he gave a jerk that unsettled Syllke's footing and made him slide down the slope back to where he stood. Seo shot an uneasy glance down at the surf breaking against the rocks that seemed so far beneath them. The heat of the sun was at its apex, hardly uncomfortable but enough to cause him to squint a little as he glanced back up towards those expressive eyes. "Syllke, please. I'm sorry." That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say. Those beautiful eyes darted away from him, a pretty flicker of violet and blue, and Syllke sighed. Seo mimicked the sound, though his became a groan at the end. He pushed damp fingers back through golden hair, leaving streaks of red in his wake. He slumped into the stone face of the cliff behind them. "Don't be angry with me. I don't have a whole lot of friends," he admitted, with a downward glance. "I didn't mean to fuck it up with the best of 'em over a kiss. I'm not sure how I did. I didn't plan that, you know..." Seodai flushed without explanation. Syllke couldn't know that it was wholly because he was reliving every second of that kiss, and beginning to feel indignant that Syllke was so offended over it anyway. He'd never done that before but, seriously, it couldn't have been that bad, right? It was pretty fantastic in his estimation. With Syllke still silent before him, Seodai glanced back up and continued. His words were sharper than usual, frustrated. "Well? I realize it was apparently an awful experience for you, but I didn't bite your damned tongue off, Syllke. Just tell me why you're so pissed, let's argue about it, and go on. Because I don't want that," he said, waving a hand back in the direction they'd come, "messing up this," he concluded, that oozing hand gesturing between them.

[Syllke Skyglow]

Syllke saw that look. He heard the pained confusion in Seodai’s voice. Seo was too guileless to even think to hide it, but Syllke just wanted to get going. To move. To get away from this spot – those lovers – Seo’s hurt face and his own aching heart. Perhaps Seo was not as naïve as Syllke had thought him to be – he apparently had caught on to Syllke’s true mood pretty damn quick. But Syllke just turned away and without further conversation, he moved off, making his way down the cliff face, an easy enough climb. He wasn’t concerned for Seo’s safety – he wouldn’t have brought him this way if he did have any. So, as Seo made no protest, no requests for help, Syllke assumed he was fine and just kept going, scrabbling down the rough stones. If it occurred to him that perhaps Seo wouldn’t ask for help - not now - he chose to ignore that possibility. They reached the bottom without incident and Syllke led the way across the smooth boulders to the base of the sloping climb back up. There was a stretch of bare rock about three meters high which was going to require some joint effort on the two boys' parts. But they hadn’t even reached that yet, when Syllke heard Seo’s feet slipping a bit, rocks scurrying down the hill. It had already become second nature to Syllke, the turning about and the offering of his hand in assistance. It was hard to say what clutched at his heart more – that one word - his name, on Seo’s lips – so strained. Or the bloodied hands. Guilt washed over the Vantha, as he felt Seo’s palm slip in his. His gaze fixated on that red hand, even as Seo pulled him down to his own level, where finally their eyes met. Syllke, please. I’m sorry. Seodai’s words were like the sting of a poultice on a raw wound – meant to alleviate pain but only exacerbating it momentarily. Feeling worse than he had since that first reverent whisper had left Seo’s lips – Lysander – Syllke’s eyes looked away swiftly from Seo’s beautiful, puzzled face. He didn’t want Seodai to apologize. Seo hadn’t done anything wrong. Love fell where it fell, with the ones affected having little to say about the matter. Yet at the same time, Syllke didn’t want Seo to be so enamored of this other person. He wanted Seo to be happy – but, selfishly, he wanted to be happy too. But that wasn’t going to be possible, was it? Why oh why oh why had he initiated that kiss? Why did he have to want someone so badly when that someone only wanted someone else? Why was life so fucking complicated? Seo’s hand slipped from his – Syllke made no attempt to hold on to it – and his friend leaned back against the cliff face. His words were so . . . sad . . . so frustrated . . . and so bereft. Syllke’s heart dropped right into his boots, knowing that he was the cause of all that – the immediate cause, anyway. He was awash with the impulse to grab Seo and hold him tightly, to press him back against the warm stone and kiss him again, and again, and again. He wanted to tell Seo that he could have him as a friend, or a lover, or whatever he desired, and to never think that he would give up their friendship so easily. Wasn’t that why he hadn’t kissed Seo? Not at first anyway. Hadn’t he already chosen preserving their friendship over fucking it up with something Seo didn’t want? Not from him anyway? Wasn’t their friendship why, even now, he couldn’t risk telling Seo the truth? Syllke heard that new tone creeping into Seo’s voice – one he had never heard from the soft spoken boy before. Seo was usually so quiet – and today he seemed to have said more than he had in the entire time that they had known one another. Syllke realized that it really was foolish to ever assume that you knew a person well. They always had the capacity to surprise you – even your best friends. Today was certainly proof of that. Seo had seemed to reach a pregnant pause. He was looking at Syllke, waiting for some sort of response. As conflicted as ever, Syllke finally returned Seo’s look. Slowly, he took a step towards the other boy. “Seo,” he said evenly, just managing to push his own pain and frustration out of his voice. His hand went to rest flat on Seo’s chest. “You haven’t done anything. I’m the one that kissed you, remember?” His eyes, rippling with all the colors of the spectrum in rapid succession, searched Seo’s, hoping that he would believe all this. “I’m not angry – not at all. Just really, really horny. It was just a bit . . . frustrating. That’s all. We – we got a little carried away. So what? No big deal, right?” Syllke smiled as naturally as he could, and shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t worry – it hasn’t changed a thing. Believe me. You could drive a stake through my heart – I’d still be your friend.” He chuckled. “Not that I want you to, OK?” His hand went to pat Seo’s cheek. “And you’re a fantastic kisser.” He added, his voice teasing. “You’d better be careful, though – any more of that and you’ll have me falling in love with you.” Syllke swallowed hard around the lump in his chest. He stepped back, grabbing Seo’s hands in his, turning them palm upwards and frowning. “You should have said something. I would have helped you.”

[Seodai]

Seodai sagged with relief when those long, graceful, artistic fingers splayed against his chest. He hung upon every word, his frustration easily mollified as Syllke assured and reassured him. Seodai was not the most confident of people in the best circumstances, especially where it regarded other people. He certainly didn't mean to be needy, but in moments like these he was. He needed Syllke to show him the right way of thinking on this, the correct perspective. Thankfully, his artist seemed up to the challenge. Seodai dropped his big blues when Syllke put his problem into such clear, specific terms. His cheeks were flushed, and a bit of a grin tugged upwards at his lips. Well, he could relate to that, anyway. When Syllke patted his cheek and spoke of falling in love, Seodai laughed at last. The Vantha had played it off as a jest, and so the Denvali received it that way. He glanced back up to his friend and might have made a playful quip in return, but Syllke was already distracted with the oozing scratches on his palms. He tugged his hands away from that concern, but not with any sort of bitterness. He simply curled his hands into his fists again. "It'll be fine," he promised. The scratches were so superficial that the tiny, offended capillaries would soon run out of blood to shed. There was a moment of silence, and then Seo abruptly threw his arms around Syllke for a hug. He was just too relieved to let the moment pass without something of the sort. And so he buried his golden nose in that dark, dark hair and held the similarly proportioned artist against him. He sighed against Syllke's ear, squeezed, and then let him go again. "I'm glad you're my friend, Syllke." Seodai didn't linger in that sentimental moment. Instead he fished out a strip of cloth to wind about his damp palms. Not so much to stop the bleeding as to make keeping a grip on him possible again. He reached for the stone face so close to them, pressing his fingers to the smooth gray surface. "Now, show me just how you plan for us to make it up this face." Seo was half grinning, a bit of challenge in his voice. But, really, he felt like Syllke would figure it out somehow. Somehow, things with Syllke always worked themselves out just fine.