[Gossamer's Scrapbook] The Ethereal Canyon I

[Gossamer]

Life Update
.

In 2019 I got really sick. I was misdiagnosed with a scare of cancer and later learned I had a blood disorder called Neutrophilia Lycocytosis... most commonly found in people with cancer but more rarely also found on its own. Almost nothing is known about it. The key sign is that your bloodwork always shows high white blood count. In a normal person, like 80 percent of their white blood cells line their veins and arteries as a protective interior. Twenty percent of them circulate in the blood curing issues they find wrong with your blood. In my case, all my white blood cells are always circulating all the time and trying to fight off infections I don't have. That means I'm always excessively tired, and little things wear me out.

On top of that I have issues absorbing iron for whatever reason. In 2019 I had 18 iron infusions. Usually you give a person one infusion (meaning having it added directly to my blood in liquid form) and it lasts for a whole year. My doctor told me that's what would happen. Eighteen infusions later he gave up and just schedules me for regular iron panels and loads me up whenever I need it. I'm one of his two patients that has this condition out of his practice of thousands. My doctor is a cancer doctor and a hemotologist. And he's incredible. Once he figured out how to kick start me and keep me going (nueutrophilia has no cure yet) he turned me over to his PA and she's been amazing.

I have a great regular doctor, but this PA is something special. She has my back... she is half councilor and half mentor and cheer coach and a hundred other things. Oncology people are like that... they are made of pure magic and ooze positivity. I think they personally get half their patients through cancer just by sheer attitude alone.

Anyhow, I started down a pathway in 2020 and continue down it in 2021. I want to heal what's wrong with me. And in doing so I've done a ton of research and I honestly think 100% of what's wrong with me is gut health. My innards aren't doing their job and that's why I'm constantly hungry, not getting nutrients from what I eat, and am in general doing so craptastic with other issues like inflammation and joint pain. My wonderful PA had a long long talk with me (we've been doing telemedicine for a year) and we decided my diet had to change. Now I eat really great stuff or so I thought. But everything has sugar in it, grains, and a whole bunch of GMO crap that is like a hidden problem in a lot of foods. Here in the US, everything has been grown that's not from your garden is filled with pesticides which are being blamed for a lot of people's digestive issues.

What I learned? No amount of dieting, eating healthy, and doing all kinds of nutrient things like adding supplements etc is going to fix what's wrong with you because you have to let your gut heal. You have to let the internal flora and fauna in your body correct itself by completely getting off the pesticides and away from whole grains and especially sugars. Starchy foods are also terrible for you because they cause inflammation along with vegitable oils, refined sugars and all kinds of preservatives. High-fructose corn syrup, aspartame, saccharin, and Splenda pretty much all artificial sweeteners are off the table too. They disrupt the ability of your body to metabolize glucose correctly and worsen inflammation.

Then we get to throw in more no-no stuff. Trans fats are probably the unhealthiest form of fats that you can consume. They are produced by combining hydrogen and unsaturated fats to enhance stability. This ingredient hides in products on the label under the term “partially hydrogenated”. Most kinds of margarine and processed foods have trans fats to extend their lifetime.

So once you start eliminating all this stuff from your diet, you are left with virtually nothing on the table... but your gut can begin to heal. And once your GI tract heals, all kinds of things are possible. I've literally lost 21 lbs total in just a few short months by cutting way back on simple things like sugar and grains. So my PA was all for me going on this elimination diet and then I discovered something else... something that's been around longer than Keto, Paleo, etc... basically since the dawn of time. It's the Carnivore Diet. I got hooked watching Dr. Ken Berry's youtube videos while I was at work. Then I discovered Dr. Paul Saladino , Judy Cho, and a whole host of other people. These aren't crack dudes pitching weird-ass shit.

These are medical doctors and nutritionists that have changed their own lives. Then digging deeper I discovered a ton of FB groups for people on these diets and OMG the transformations are incredible. These people healed their GI Tracks without invasive surgery. We are talking about people that transformed themselves and their lives dropping hundreds of pounds and getting rid of their inflammation.

It was incredibly easy to get Gillar on board too. He has his own issues... and he's hoping that this diet which is literally an incredibly intense elimination diet will cure his issues. I've seen thousands of testimonials that have proven it has the potential to cure diabetes, depression, joint pain, heart disease, and autoimmune illnesses. The carnivore diet has proven to reduce inflammation, improve sleep, reduce joint pain, improve mental clarity, and dump weight. You cook things in butter, lard, and bacon grease. You can have shrimp, clams, crab, etc. But more importantly, it can heal your gut.

I read Dr. Paul Saladino's book The Carnivore Code first. Then I listened to Judy's book... and picked up a few cookbooks for Carnivores. The diet is incredibly simple. You can eat anything that comes from an animal. Meat, Eggs, Dairy... especially organic and grass-fed. And you know what? It's life-changing...

I know you are thinking... how can you live without fruits and veggies? Without grains? Isn't your cholesterol going to shoot through the roof? I thought the same things, then did some reading and listening and I'm a whole lot wiser now. Diet isn't what you think it is... nor what you've been spoon-fed all your lives. And even if you bring in the ethical situation of eating animals... I can assure you that there are ways to source your foods in a way you can have a clear concious. My eggs for example? I walk outside and get them from very spoiled chickens... but that's a whole other post. So too is the post about how plants have suffered from industry and how ehtical it is to splice peanut genes into strawberries to make them frost resistant and yet give people with peanut allergies sudden unexpected horrible strawberry alergies. Oh you eat only things labeled orgnaic and non-GMO? Do you know there's virtually no regulation for that in the US? Anyone can say they are harvesting dolphin safe tuna too... but the tuna boats might have an inspector on them ONE trip every five years. The lies in our consumer economy are vast and horribly telling...

If you are interested. I posted my gateway drug as a header, and here's my small library below. Interestingly enough, some of these recommendations, like LIES was from my Physicians' Assistant.

Update: August 25th here. I'm down 44 lbs.

Reading List :

[Gossamer]

Operation Arc

I hope you haven't been living under a rock with the current world events. If you don't know, the US and its allied forces have decided to pull out of the middle east and leave that region to the Taliban. I've been so upset lately hearing this news. Things are going down hill fast. With the complete and utter pull out of the Western Forces from Afghanistan, we are damning an entire group of people who have tasted freedom and an elevated lifestyle (education, women's freedom, safety/education for children) to the crippling oppression of the Taliban.

Biden and his western allies are completely utterly insane to back out of this place. I (and a lot of people) will never forgive him for making the sacrifices of so many American and British soldiers USELESS because of this act of selfish insanity. The middle east, while relatively stable since the US has been in power there, has now completely destabilized and is literally running with blood in most of the streets outside of Kabul.

Pen Farthing, a ex-British solider, started a charity there to help UK and American soldiers export special street animals they befriended during their tours over there. So many puppies and kittens... adult dogs and cats were befriended by the soldiers who in turn helped them endure some of the horrible conditions in the middle east. This charity, its facility, and all of its faculty is in grave danger of being over-ran and destroyed by the Taliban... which is ten miles from its front gates.

Pen is broadcasting live in Kabul right now giving an update on what is going to become of this beautiful charity. To give you some background, this is the charity we ended up adopting our Afghanistan Cat from at the request of my husband's friend who served in the military over there. Cleo was her cat and its super dangerous for animals in Afghanistan... she raised her from a kitten and she lived in the US headquarters of the base over there in one of the offices where Theresa served. Theresa eventually got out of the military and came home... but she exposed us to this beautiful charity. And we fund raised over 2k to help get Cleo out of Afghanistan and to the US to safety. Theresa couldn't take Cleo home because she had already brought home a dog from Afghanistan that wasn't cat friendly and she is allergic to cats.

Nowzad trained up men AND women to be veterinarians and vet techs. And not just a few, over 500 locals were trained to work with animal health... can you imagine the ripple of positivity Nowzad put out in Afghanistan turning that many knowledgeable people loose on the land? Then they would rescue animals off the streets of Kabul and heal them of wounds, disease, and do spay/neuter clinics and release them back if they were feral or adopt them locally and overseas if they were friendly. This work was incredibly important... both for giving the women education but also for helping to keep the out of control breeding of feral animals down in the streets. They also rescued donkeys and horses, helping to educate owners and were instrumental in vaccinating animals all through Afghanistan.

Pen is over in Kabul right now. He just got done broadcasting live saying that to date, Nowzad housing over 500 animals that will all be killed when the Taliban takes over. How do we know this? The Taliban has done this over and over and over again in multiple places and has pledged to do it again. The last round of Taliban being in charge saw dogs were deemed illegal to be owned as pets and were shot on sight. The government of Kabul is currently negotiating with the Taliban to peacefully hand over the city to this group.... which gives Pen a bit of time... though not much... somewhere short of 72 hrs.

He's got a plan.... they are emergency evacuating 200 cats and 200 dogs in a single cargo flight out of the area later today to an undisclosed location out of country in a monumental last humanitarian act they are calling Operation Arc. The animals that are too sick to move or won't survive the trip are being euthanized. They have no other choice. Along with those animals, Pen has arranged to get his entire staff and their families to go with the animals. He's got his whole Nowzad support team and donors... meaning me and everyone else... calling and demanding they be let in to the UK.

The donkey's and horses are staying. The logistical nightmare of moving 400 cats and dogs isn't going to work on the donkeys and horses too... plus people who are friendly to Nowzad have agreed to take them and hopefully see to their health because there's nothing else that can be done but leave them.

Right now there are 4000 US and British troops at the Airport clearing out so there is a corridor of safety to get everyone out. Pen's got the flight arranged and they are loading now. I hope and pray they get out. These people at Nowzad are heroes and deserving of rescue... not deserving of being left flat on their asses like Biden has left the rest of this country.

And everyone who ever lost their life in Afghanistan just died for nothing. Absolutely nothing. In one fell swoop, the entire middle east is destabilized and those people deserved far better than that.

At least Pen Farthing is letting his staff stay at the facility. At least he's trying to get his people out. He's calling for everyone to tweet and msg and call the prime minister of the UK to allow his people in. He's sending them anyhow... and hoping to hell they are let off the plane. Because if they aren't allowed in to the UK... they will be dead. The Taliban won't suffer educated women to live.

I've donated. So have many many people. These refugees will need help once they actually get into the UK. They will be homeless, jobless, and flying in the wind.

And if you haven't heard of Nowzad, please check out their website and see Pen Farthing's live on my FB page or on the FB Page of Nowzad itself. If people can't get out... and animals can't get out... they are DEAD. And these are great great people.... and very deserving animals. They have 72 hrs.... after that, there is no future left for Afghanistan. The deadline might even be shorter because the reality is that the clock runs out in however long the allied forces hold the airport for the evacuation of Afghanistan.

Help if you can... if you can't donate, share share share and make people aware of what's going on.

1st and easiest option - https://www.nowzad.com/donate
UK Paypal - donations@nowzad.com
US Paypal - donations@nowzad.org

This is a very real situation. This is a very epic undertaking. Someday someone is going to make a movie about this charity and Pen's life. I just hope it has a happy ending. Right now it doesn't look so pretty.

[Gossamer]

Life Update

Afghanistan has been one horrible nightmare after another. We've had so many friends over there going through a ton of shit. And then there was Nowzad. I said something in chat, but Pen was able to get his animals out along with himself on the last flight out of Kabul. They lost 6 cats on the trip due to tear gas at the airport itself. The staff had to stay because the Biden Administration has pulled bullshit after bullshit and canceled all the clearance for his staff to leave. Basically if you didn't have a US or UK passport you weren't getting off the ground.

So many people were left behind. Biden continues to lie about it. He's such a tool.

I don't think anyone anticipated Pen Farthing's tenacity and the backing of his supporters who raised $500,000 dollars in two days. We care. We care a whole hell of a lot and none of us are going to give up on this situation until his staff is free. And yet now leaked emails show Biden deliberately blocked rescue flights (including one for Nowzad's staff) before the pull out happened.

Operation Arc is still underway.... with Nowzad still planning to get their staff out.. which consists mostly of women vets and their children. They can't talk about how they are going to do it. Boarders are closed.

Do you know there are like 30 American school kids from L.A. trapped in Kabul right now? They were denied entry to the Airport to escape in the flights taking off. Their families here in the states are frantic. The Biden Administration says there are less than 100 American Citizens trapped over there.... but the truth is there are still thousands. They say those school kids don't exist.

Lies. Our government lies. They lie openly and repeatedly to our faces in every press conference they hold.

And the Taliban are such good people that just today they started dragging women out into the streets and shooting them in the heads if they were involved in the education or uplifting of other women and children in any way.

I don't know what this fucking world is coming to with the people we have in charge these days. They don't want anyone to have any rights. They don't want anyone to have any medical freedom. They don't want anyone to speak out against them. It's not just the US either. It's mostly worldwide. Australia is in chaos right now due to some of these same issues. Do some research.

My life is in chaos too. I'm back to those lovely 6 days a week workdays with sometimes upwards of 12 hrs or more. It's exhausting. My iron is low, and I desperately need an infusion. I got approved for one, but my insurance canceled it in error (some new douche bag secretary thought an iron infusion was a pharma approval and not a medical procedure approval even though I had like 30+ medical procedure approvals on record for the same damn treatment and canceled it). This back and forth between doctor, insurance, and infusion center has been ongoing for four weeks now so what was really low is now seriously deficient. That means I'm dragging my ass hardcore with zero energy. I might get some relief Monday.... but I have to make a hundred phone calls to do it. Then if my expedited approval does go through I have to pray for an appointment in the next week.

So I'm tired, cranky, and my Friday isn't actually my real Friday. Its more like... a Thurs since I have to go into work tomorrow and probably spend 10 or 12 hrs there again. To top that off, its hot, and they are paving the yard which means I have to move a million trailers to make sure the pavers get access to all the places they need to grind asphalt and lay new asphalt down.

Yesterday the Biden administration announced they are going to make vaccines mandatory for everyone who works for a company that has more than 100 employees. And today my bank sent me a letter begging me to call my representative because the federal government is trying to pass legislation to have full access to bank accounts that hold over $600 in savings in order to have new sources of revenue. I posted that entire letter on FB if you are interested.

I work hard. I don't mind paying taxes for things like road maintenance and schools, but I don't want to feed the greed this government is displaying.

You should see all the overtime on my checks that have vanished due to the unemployment tax in WA state going up 300%. That means the people on Unemployment are making 100% of their employment check plus a huge weekly extra bonus due to covid while the people at work are being taxed in an insufferable level in order to make those big payouts.

I pretty much hate anyone who isn't working but can, especially those who point fingers at those that are working to keep supply lines open and call them suckers for doing so.

I don't take handouts from the government. Sorry. Not my style. I work and am proud of the things I have because I earned them... from the nail polish on my nails to the truck I drive to the house I own. No one gave anything to me. Everything was earned.

I pretty much despise anyone who complains about any sort of mental illness or emotional detachment then posts pages and pages and pages about their feelings on things. They need to seriously get a life with better more functional priorities.

And finally, I pretty much loathe the current US government. They have shown themselves cowards and have openly displayed corruptness that is intolerable.

One last update... my weight loss journey continues. I'm down to the 50 lb mark which is astonishing for such a short time. I have saggy skin though which is horrible, though walking and a lot of exercises will tighten it. Nothing fits. Everything hangs on me. But things are better than ever physically beside the iron issue. The Carnivore Diet is the best thing that ever happened to me.

A final thought. I live in paradise. I really do. The mountains grow tall here. The evergreens dominate every skyline instead of skyscrapers, and we have some of the most beautiful beaches anywhere. You can breathe here. You have room to roam without people standing shoulder to shoulder. The Sea is healing... so is the surf, the wind, and browsing little shops that mom and pops own. When life gets rough, I can always escape to the beach. Washington State proudly boasted the world's longest continuous beach and its considered a state route so you can drive on it. I took a trip two weekends ago to blow off some steam... and it was good for the soul. Having places like this to escape to completely saves my sanity. Taking the dogs and the hubby makes it as close to heaven as one can possibly get. Gillar, Mojo (cream) and Voodoo (black) are pictured below. PS. I love my little 4x4 Frontier. I purchased it with only 5K miles on it new-to-me in 2019. I've never regretted an instant of owning it because it takes me to some of the most fantastic places known to man. It gets great gas milage and has enough room to drag four adults or two adults and two very fluffy chow chows almost anywhere.

Goss

[Gossamer]

Tears Of Joy

This is what pure happiness and victory looks like. This is Pen Farthing, founder of Nowzad the Animal Charity that rescued street dogs and cats, donkeys and horses, from Kabul and other locations around Afghanistan and rehabilitated them and saw them off to better lives. He is a retired Brittish Royal Marine who spent quite a few years serving his country overseas. And after he retired, he took to assisting soldiers and foreign workers who grew attached to street animals in Kabul and other places in exporting them to other countries and basically to safety.

This is close to my heart because I have a Nowzad kitty from Kabul whom we adopted at the request of one of Gillar's friends who was Army Core of Engineers. She was in real and present danger because the base commander of Bagram said he was eliminating all stray animals and Theresa had to get Cleo out. She turned her over to Nowzad after we committed to taking her in (Cleo was her office kitten) and fundraised to pay her airfaire to the United States. This site was instrumental in fundraising for Cleo. Many many of you donated what you could until we had her passage booked and her on her way to Seattle. She took an epic trip where she boarded a plane in Kabul, flew to Dubois, and then onto Frankfort. From there she was on a non-stop flight to Seattle and we picked her up there. We've had her for two years now and we've followed Nowzad closely, donating frequently to others raising funds to export deserving animals to safety.

Yesterday the world got the news that Pen was able to sneak his entire charity staff and their families out of Afghanistan and into Pakistan where they are being held in quarantine so they can continue on to the UK and new lives. They weren't safe in Afghanistan under the Taliban because most of his staff are females and most educated... two things intolerable in the Taliban world.

When he went live yesterday morning at work, I clicked on it immediately, and burst into tears. I've been so worried. In exporting Cleo, many of these people kept in contact with us via email and we've grown close to so many of them knowing they were living such better lives due to Pen and his organization. Can you imagine a woman in Kabul prior to the US occupation? Verses a woman who got educated, studied hard, and became a legitimate Vet?

Its... beyond amazing that everyone (except one person who agreed to stay and is caring for their donkeys and horses) got out and are onto new lives. This is an incredible story that the details are still coming out on. Mark my words. There will be an incredible motion picture made of this man's life and the story of Nowzad - the dog that started it all - and the charity that Pen founded. They have vowed to continue their work. I'm going to continue to donate. People like this make all the difference in a world that's turned to shit.

[Ayosel]

You can refer to me by name, you know.

I pretty much despise anyone who complains about any sort of mental illness or emotional detachment then posts pages and pages and pages about their feelings on things. They need to seriously get a life with better more functional priorities.

I don’t need you to like me, Jen. I appreciate that I’m in your thoughts, though. If we get a chance, we should harsh some things out. It could be fun.

[Gossamer]

Ugh... Keep Your Drama.

Ayosel,

Don't flatter yourself. I just described 95% of the people on social media in that statement. If I were referring to a player that is mostly 100% absent except when they desperately need attention, I would mention you by name.

I tend not to even bother with you, which is why I don't answer your PMs or HD Tickets. That is exactly what I said I was going to do (or not do??) publicly because of your insulting behavior in chat and the way you've acted in general in the past. After this note, that will remain true. And just so you don't think this is a new way to acquire my attention, this will be the last time I directly respond to you in my Scrapbook. You don't need to slather angst all over the site.

Take your particular brand of drama elsewhere. No one has time for it.

Goss

[Gossamer]

Internet Trolls
Do We Have Empathy For Them?

People with any of the nine dark personality traits may belong to the Dark Tetrad. Colloquially, these people are known as sadists, narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths. If you don't know this term, you should do some reading up on it. One of the first signs of Dark Tetrad behavior is serious gaslighting, playing the victim, passive-aggressiveness, and finally, they poke the lion so much that the lion bites in some sort of cosmic self-fulfilling prophecy that gives people the ability to scream that they were deeply wronged! (hint: They weren't.. their bad behavior caused all their problems).

Here are the nine traits:

• Egoism
• Machiavellianism
• Moral disengagement
• Narcissism
• Psychological entitlement
• Psychopathy
• Sadism
• Self-interest
• Spitefulness

Do I feel anything for them? Nope. This last year has taught me that most people are exactly where they want to be mentally, physically, and spiritually... and the portrayed state of all of that is nowhere near the truth of the reality of where they actually are. I love the article below. I've had it bookmarked for whenever someone starts acting up in public on this forum. It helps to remind me that trolls are people too and usually just scared hurt and acting out kids. And if they are adults? Hell hath no fury like a forum moderator.

The Loneliness of the Internet Troll
By Grant H Brenner
Aug 6, 2019

New research on the Dark Tetrad and loneliness illuminates online abuse.

Our uniqueness makes us special, makes perception valuable-but it can also make us lonely. This loneliness is different from being ‘alone’: You can be lonely even surrounded by people. The feeling I’m talking about stems from the sense that we can never fully share the truth of who we are. I experienced this acutely at an early age.-Amy Tan

Loneliness is a powerful psychological, emotional and behavioral state, associated with significant risks to mental and physical health. Online trolling is a huge and growing problem, as well. According to the Pew Research Center (Online Harassment, 2017), 41 percent of Americans have themselves experienced online harassment, and over 60 percent report having been witness to such actions.

While many of these behaviors are of the milder variety, nearly 20 percent of people in the Pew survey reported they had “been subjected to particularly severe forms of harassment online, such as physical threats, harassment over a sustained period, sexual harassment or stalking.” Given rising rates of both loneliness and online harassment, and the research reviewed below, are they related?
Loneliness and aggression are correlated

As researcher Keita Masui from the Department of Psychology of Otemon Gakuin University in Japan notes, loneliness, in addition to being a source of unwellness and personal suffering, can spell trouble for others as well. Masui reviews the literature on loneliness and aggression. Because loneliness represents a state of chronic frustration and unmet need, it can trigger aggression toward others as a way to discharge tension or express oneself-even if in maladaptive ways.

Research shows that experiences and traits related to loneliness have been found, for example, in perpetrators of school shootings, where a history of bullying and rejection sets the stage for tragedy. Other studies reviewed confirm that lonely adolescents are more likely to be physically and emotionally aggressive and that when people are bullied in the real world, they are more likely to act out on the internet.

So one would expect loneliness to be a multiplier when it comes to internet trolling, which is itself correlated with Dark Triad personality traits 1of Machiavellianism, psychopathy, everyday sadism, and narcissism. Of those four traits, psychopathy and everyday sadism have been found to correlate more strongly with internet trolling in previous studies, as well as with cyberbullying.

Masui notes that while loneliness and Dark Triad traits haven’t been well-studied, more narcissistic people tend to lash out at others when they feel rejected, according to one study, and another study found that social support may buffer against aggression for people higher in psychopathic traits.

Because no studies to date have looked at whether loneliness interacts with the Dark Triad traits to predict online trolling, Masui designed the current study to look at data from 513 people, between the ages of 20 and 69 years old, via internet survey of a cross-section of a large pool of potential respondents. The survey covered several ratings: the Global Assessment of Internet Trolling-Revised; the Dark Triad Dirty Dozen Scale; the Varieties of Sadistic Tendencies instrument (measuring both direct and vicarious sadism); and the UCLA Loneliness Scale.
Loneliness, trolling and the Dark Tetrad

There were several significant findings. Men were more likely than women to troll the internet and scored significantly higher on all the Dark Tetrad traits. Internet trolling correlated with Machiavellianism, sadism and psychopathy, but not narcissism. Psychopathy was significantly correlated with higher reported loneliness, showing that in spite of common conceptions, more psychopathic people still register the absence of a relationship.

Looking more closely at whether loneliness affected how Dark Triad traits correlate with internet trolling, moderation analysis showed several important areas of possible connections. In the presence of loneliness, Machiavellianism, psychopathy and sadism all were associated with increased internet trolling. Moreover, when higher levels of loneliness accompanied higher levels of Machiavellianism or psychopathy, internet trolling was even more likely. This effect was not present with sadism or narcissism, where greater loneliness did not significantly affect the chance of tipping over into trolling.

More sadistic study participants were more likely to troll, regardless of loneliness, and narcissism, loneliness and chance of trolling did not correlate with each other.
Creating online safety

Internet trolling is a reprehensible behavior according to conventional standards of civil discourse, regardless of the underlying factors. No one likes being trolled, though some folks seem to like to counter-troll, giving it back just as hard as it is doled out, even resorting to troll-baiting to get a good fight going. Others may have a bit of vicarious sadism and may enjoy watching. But for most of us, trolling just feels terrible, at best, Ignoring and unfriending trolls, when possible, is the path chosen, alongside maintaining community standards to disallow trolling.

The present research sheds light on how we understand trolling, not just as a function of “Dark” personality traits, but driven also by relatable feelings of loneliness. While we don’t tend to empathize with perpetrators, and I doubt bringing up loneliness in an internet altercation would be a constructive move, realizing that people who troll may be feeling isolated could be a first step to distancing oneself from the trolling in order to blunt the impact.

While trolls-to use a dehumanizing term-may be more likely to be manipulative, sadistic and psychopathic, they may also be suffering, feeling lonely and isolated with no clear socially acceptable outlets. Approaching such people with the intention to offer support and connection is, at best, likely to go nowhere… and more troubling, may lead to harm to the would-be helper and ultimately greater isolation for the person trolling.

On an online community or systemic level, interventions designed to provide more community support, potentially programmable into popular social network platforms, could meaningfully reduce the amount of trolling which takes place. Future research is needed to further spell-out how loneliness and online trolling interact, and what interventions may be effective to create a safer online space for our ever-more-connected society.

The need for containment has to be balanced with individual self-expression. For those high in certain Dark Triad traits, self-expression and the safety of others are incompatible, making it difficult to alleviate loneliness in healthy ways.

Originally published at https://www.psychologytoday.com.

[Gossamer]

A Little Life Update

Life is crazy busy right now. I'm so busy that work has set a schedule for us which is something they've never done before. I'm literally working two weeks of six days on and a week of five days. So I roughly feel like I'm ALWAYS at work. I mean I was always at work before, but now it's more official than ever. And today we got the fucking AMAZING news (sarcasm) that they are going to seven days a week... which means that one day off every week might turn into no days off through November. I'm tired, stressed, and stretched to the max. The clincher has I just turned down a legit job offer for a new spot at a newly opening Lowe's distribution warehouse for a three-day on work week with four days off.... working 36 hrs a week and getting paid for forty. What the hell was I thinking? But to be fair that was right before they announced this two-month seven-day situation. The clincher is that I'm not sure what's going to happen with the newly developed schedule. We need a work-life balance but it's still nice to put away tons of money for a rainy day.

I haven't been writing. I haven't been arting. I've been working, eating and sleeping. I'm still on my diet. I'm down 53 lbs. And honestly, I don't miss the glutton, the sugar, or eating all the things I used to. But I'm slightly worried I'm pushing myself way too much. I had two iron infusions this month and a blood test revealed that two weren't enough so I'm trying to throw in another one before the end of October. I have a vacation then. I'm something of the queen of Halloween and take that week off every year. I have a lot of fun plans for time off work. I have no idea how work is going to cover my shift but there are a number of things I consider 'not my problem ' now. That is one of them.

So instead I focus on the good things.

One of the huge work perks is a fat discount at Fred Meyers and Krogers. Matt and I headed to one of the Freddys after work on Friday and we picked up a six-burner bbq grill with the works that retailed for over $600 dollars for about $150. Most of cash we paid in gift cards that the company gives out $7 at a time for catching you being positive, doing great things, helping others, etc. It was nice to drag home the grill of our choice off-season. And I wasn't shocked to find one... because as you can imagine Retail Distribution is all screwed up at the moment.

I went up on Friday because yesterday I anticipated a long-ass boring drawn-out day. I wasn't wrong.

We're getting spring camping gear in atm.... that means stuff that was ordered and scheduled to deliver in Feb and March is just arriving now. Christmas stuff is still trapped offshore and trickling in very slowly. We expect the bulk to come in after the holidays around Jan/Feb/March. So if you haven't Christmas shopped by now, get it done because there won't be Christmas stuff like you think there will be.

My favorite fountain pen vendor has stopped all shipping to the US because of this problem until freight gets caught up and comes at a more reasonable rate.
It is what it is. I guess we are going to have to start buying things made in the USA or Canada instead of China. I'd rather do that and pay more than import everything that tends to be lesser quality anyhow.

I'm in the mood to create more too. Being a creator here has been some of the funniest times in my life. There is so much more that needs to be done. I have an entire desert region to bring to life. Matt has a city almost ready to go for it. I have an oasis city to develop as well. I haven't given up hope for that. I rewrote the Benshira in preparation for this situation as well. The seven fortresses need to be developed. And they can have their own domains as well when they are in use. I also have a few new magics in mind to introduce to give the desert more flavor. It should be fun. And I'm hoping when things die down after the end of the year this will be something I can jump on.

In the meantime, I will be around daily to keep up on the help desk, answer questions, and do the general things I need to do to keep Miz running. IF you all keep posting the site will be here hopefully just as long as it already has been. We need some more players, that much is true, but if we all show activity those players will trickle in.

[Gossamer]

World Cat Day 2021

I'm writing this partially because I want to remember it and partially because I want to share the joy of cat adoption. I also need to get in the habit of writing again. Scrapping is a good way to do that. So here goes...

I already have quite a few cats, but I had an incredible Vet named Renae who helped out my normal vet for a while that taught me an important lesson. Crazy Cat Ladies are cool. She had twenty-seven cats in her house. For me, that seems like a lot - not an overwhelming amount - but a lot. And what she taught me was there are so many cats out there that need a home and if you can offer them one and they are happy with it... do it.

We had a stray show up... an enormous white teddy bear we named Marlow. He had something wrong with him when we brought him in... after he'd been hanging out for a week and didn't leave. I think my house is a cat magnet and I'm fairly sure my husband has a lot of animal magic in his blood. Marlow wouldn't eat fresh canned catfood and wouldn't touch tuna. That's a sure sign something is wrong... so we called the vet and Renae agreed to see him. We had him secluded from our other cats in Matt's man cave that is half tribute to Star Wars and half tribute to Legos... with a lot of GI JOE thrown in. Marlow ruled that room through the screen door for a day before we got him in... the whole time he wouldn't eat a bite. He'd just drink and drink.

Renae took one look at him and knew what was wrong... he was constipated pretty badly... probably by eating things a stray shouldn't... and wasn't having any bowel movements. Being all backed up, of course, he didn't want to eat and his tummy hurt. Renae flushed his plumbing with warm water and said he'd explode shortly - probably on the way home - but the receptionist who's a dear friend of ours let it slip she was on surgery duty the next day and was a sucker for slipping in last-minute neuters since Marlow had his balls.

I asked her about the possibility and she agreed to keep him.... muttering that she'd regret it because he'd explode in the kennel and not in our cat carrier on the way home.... needless to say we got him fixed the next day, his bowels all flowing, and it been a catmance ever since. You know... romance with a cat. He's everyone's best friend and the gang leader of our boys.

Marlow was our last adoption... a stray who found us not the other way around. He's been with us a little over three years now. I think he was around two or three when we acquired him... and we have lost four geriatric cats since. We lost our wonder ginger twins, Barney and Bailey... and later their mother Abbey. We also lost Mr. Howl, another foundling that wandered into our lives about five or six years ago. Abbey and Howel died of old age. Barney and Bailey died of kidney issues and were in their mid teens. Abbey wasn't much older than the boys... she was gifted to us pregnant and had seven kittens that we immediately named and thus didn't rehome... even though shots and alteration surgeries cost us a fortune. We still have two of their siblings - Bat Cat aka Calypso and Teddy Bear... another sibling we lost to some weird disease that had to do with her being extremely tiny. The other two we lost right around the ten-year mark, one with liver issues, and one with cancer.

Losing cats is hard and I and my husband mourn deeply. Having them is a joy. We had a major scare with one of our beloved cats not long ago, and shockingly he made a full recovery. Figgy had an inner ear infection that affected the nerve that goes to his eye and caused his eyes to start darting back and forth and his head to tilt at a weird angle. It took him days of muscle relaxants and ear infection medication to work its way out of his system and for him to get his balance back. It took anti-nausea meds to get him to be able to eat because his darting eyes were making him incredibly dizzy. Matt didn't leave his side on the first day this happened, and our vet got us in that day to look at him and told us that he would either really slowly improve or get a whole lot worse... the worse case being a brain tumor.

He got better and we were so grateful. And even now Figgy's playing with a motion detective flopping fish toy on the floor. That makes me smile. Even as I'm typing this, another of our kitties - Nubs - is curled up on my shoulder.. half on the back of the couch and half on me... purring and licking my ear.

Nubs and all the rest of the gang bring me joy. And we know we can comfortably care for a certain amount without going crazy with too many cats. So when Matt read the local shelter was inundated with kittens (again)... they called them Pandemic Kittens... we decided we could adopt another couple and make a place for them. I'm a firm believer in adopting older cats... but when we went to the shelter they had exactly eight. Half of those were already adopted and on hold - Yea for them! - and two other ones weren't suitable for our house. A gorgeous Russian blue female who was sweet HATED other cats (a no on our part) and a fluffy Siamese named Frank who was an owner surrender for tearing up a couch (not a deal-breaker to me) had to have outdoor time or he got majorly depressed.

I don't believe in outdoor cats unless they are confined in a cattery or somehow safe. I have a corner property where two country roads meet so I think while they aren't busy streets they are too dangerous for roaming animals. Frank was a firm no. That left two siblings that were absolutely adorable. They'd been turned in by a cat lady that had too many cats and was reportedly sweet as apple pie. The cat lady said they were strays that showed up together... and since they both looked about 4-5 months old, definitely teenagers. The male was a beautiful flame point and the female was a crazy shade of white calico.... mostly white with pale oranges and greys on her face. She reminded me of an opal immediately with her faceted fur.

I asked about them and the shelter workers said they were on hold for three days because they were strays so they could get claimed by owners if someone could prove they were their cats. But they also offered something called... preadoption. That means if we showed up at the exact time and date they came off hold ... 12 noon Saturday... we could be first in line to adopt. We played with them through the bars and talked about it, and decided to go for it.

Then we went into the kitten rooms. Big mistake. They had soooooo many kittens. It was insane how many kittens they had... and a lot of really little kittens too small to adopt. I gravitated to one immediately... he just called and reached for me... and Matt gravitated to another one.... a really mouthy black girl that screamed and climbed the bars of her cage until Matt took her out and petted her. She refused to be put down, which reminded me exactly of how Nubs acted when we adopted him at a local cat sanctuary about five years ago. The little black girl was skinny, tiny, mouthy, and full of feistiness... short-haired... no distinguishing marks.

My little boy was all crazy fluffy, both eyes swelled with conjunctivitis, and the sniffles. He was totally dirty and had a ton of flea dirt on him. HIs cage was spotless and he had no buddies in with him because he was an older kitten. As soon as we held him he sprawled out in our arms and rolled over to be held like a baby... and he was sooo happy.

I adopted him on the spot and we signed up to pre-adopt the two older cats that were on hold if they went unclaimed. This was on Thurs... and I revisited on Friday... getting to pet all the kittens again and give my little guy some love. Matt's feisty black girl was still there.... everyone passing her over because she was too hyper, too loud, and gravitating towards the quieter cuter kittens. It made me very sad... but four? We committed to one, hoped to get the other two... four was too many, right?

Matt agreed to go be at the shelter at noon Saturday since the sibling's hold time was up ten minutes after noon. I was working all day and couldn't come. No one called to claim them or even hinted at missing them. The shelter workers weren't surprised to see him.. and he finally got to hold both the older cats and said they were as lovely as we thought they were. He adopted them on the spot, and then spent an hour playing with his little special black girl and ended up adopting her too. Other people were there and tons of kittens were getting adopted, but no one picked her.

I didn't even bat an eyelash when he texted me and said he was adopting Lego too. Yea.. he'd already named her. We named the sibling's Opal and Moonstone... and my little messy guy Rebel. I bet you won't be surprised we told our cats they are getting new friends... and that we are planning on heading to the shelter on Monday to visit. Tuesday the siblings go into a local vet (not ours) to get spayed and neutered, then they can come home Wednesday. Thrusday Rebel gets his surgery and can come home Friday. Monday Lego gets hers and comes home Tues. I'm so happy for us and them. We needed some pandemic kitties, right?

We will integrate them slowly. My house is a little unique. We adopted a policy a long time ago that no cats can be in my art studio. I work with glass in there and there are a million ways they could get seriously hurt. Then, when my mom got too old to take care of her love birds, she gave them to me... which forced us to figure out how to let the central air heat the studio full time without allowing the cats in... thus indoor screen doors were placed on the studio door and that worked brilliantly so the birds could live in warmth and peace with the cats and the cats would stay out of the glass... and my art projects laying around.

Matt invented this coolness of a door and quickly added a screen to his own man cave. This is what happens when you have a three-bedroom house with no kids and just two adults. His isolated room meant we could add more cats, isolate sick cats, or foster cats. And when we don't have any of the above going on, the door is open and all the cats go play Xbox with him on his fainting couch which seats one human and about six cats. The new kids can live in the man cave for a week or two so everyone can smell everyone else through the door and introduce themselves slowly. Plus the new cats can get used to the Chows barking when someone knocks on the door or the mail lady pulls in.

It's a win-win. I'll post some pictures when they get home. And fittingly it was World Cat Day when we initiated the adoptions. Meanwhile, a picture of Marlow hanging with Matt graces this post.

[Gossamer]

Covid

In life, I am pro-vaccine. I have all mine that the FDA suggests you get. I'm for children getting their's. And I vaccinate all my animals. However, that being said, I am very anti-vax when it comes to Covid. I trust the science, but I don't trust the politics. There's no science behind these vaccinations which were rolled out in a political frenzy in an emergency situation. I'm not willing to risk my long-term health on an mRNA vaccine that has no long-term studies and that reprograms my immune system in a very real and permanent way. I've watched a million youtube videos for and against these types of vaccines and done everything I can to educate myself on the long and short-term effects of Covid.

I also enjoy a very high IQ. I don't say that in arrogance. I'm just stating a fact. I see very little intelligence being utilized in this entire pandemic.

And finally, unvaccinated, I got Covid. I didn't know I had Covid. I thought I was experiencing a 24 hr migraine that was absolutely crippling. I'm talking about the type of head pain that makes you cold sweat and claw at your scalp because the pain just won't go away. Tylenol and even traditional migraine meds weren't knocking it down, so I called my doc to see if I could get in to get a shot after texting in sick to work. It was so bad there was no way I could drive myself to work let alone function.

The doc said to forget it. It wasn't a migraine. It was Covid. He told me instead to go get tested at the local drive-up clinic. I called my husband at work, he came right home (because of his exposure) and he drove me up to the drive-up testing site and we both got tested.

It came back five days later positive for both of us.

He never got sick. That night my migraine vanished and a low-grade fever started. That lasted all night. Then I experienced a full week of weakness and dizziness, and that's it. I got a cough, but so low grade it wasn't even worth mentioning... and went through two days of a runny nose. My migraine happened on a Sunday night. My test didn't come back until Saturday.

I went back to work the following Wednesday, exactly ten days after the positive test, and felt kitten weak and shakey... but that's it. My husband just felt super weak during the middle of the ten days... that was his only symptom.

So... Covid was a cakewalk. I've had colds worse than Covid. I've had pneumonia worse than Covid. Whopping Cough kicked my ass about seven years ago and I almost died. I still have no idea why we are this worried over something this mild. And yes, I could have had omicron, but my county is full of Delta right now. And my test didn't test for the specific variant, but now I have all the immunity I need for quite a while.

And yes I know people have died. But do I trust that they actually died of covid? Do I trust that these same people wouldn't be taken out by pneumonia and other more common coronaviruses? Do I have a personal friend who tested 5k positive covid tests in a high-tech university lab and couldn't find covid 19 in any single one of those samples scanning with an electron microscope? Yes.

I also know multiple people that died immediately after getting the vaccines due to heart conditions they didn't have before or because they became really ill after the vaccines. I know one person that developed a full-fledged weird disorder where she can't use half her body... much like a stroke victim.

My bestie has gotten three boosters plus her vaccine, and is currently home with a positive covid test and feels like absolute shit but isn't dying either. She just sent me a picture that I had to laugh at. Covid hair and palor is a real thing.

I got this at work. Work is 99% full of vaccinated people, who all got sick anyhow, and are all getting boosted (and getting sicker than dogs from their boosters). So... I'll stick by my values and enjoy the natural immunity I have now and keep saying no to the vaccine.

I was tickled pink the supreme court ruled that Biden overstepped his admin powers by forcing Vaccines on companies that have over 100 workers. I frigging cheered when that ruling came down. And now he's backing down and withdrawing the mandates. They are also pulling local mandates for masks etc... and starting to treat this as a cold. It's just too bad they didn't do this from the beginning before they destroyed our economies everywhere. I have a ton of friends that had small businesses - anywhere from gaming stores to small coffee/sandwich shops that are all out of business due to the mandates in WA state.

Anyhow, like always, I'm just putting this here for me to remember that 2022 came in with a vengeance. In my hometown, we started with a white Christmas that's super rare, moved into record river floods, had a Tsunami from the Tonga Volcano, and the household got Covid.

Whee. Did I mention it is also a Mercury Retrograde with Venus also in Retrograde? I warned everyone, including myself, and battened down the hatches to ride it out. I'm glad we're almost out of it.

Goss Out.