[Gossamer's Scrapbook] The Ethereal Canyon I

[Gossamer]

. BABBLING It's been something of a roller coaster ride for me this week. I want to get all kinds of things done, but in the end I just get sidelined talking to people, helping out, and find myself burying my nose in PC development because thats what I have the most fun doing. We all need a break once in a while, and everyone knows I take them when I need them, but for me a real break is finding a balance between storytelling and character play. It also throws a mini loop in things when you come down with a massive cold that turns into the shakes and heaves and lingers for a week. Drat you superbugs! But back to balance. I'm notoriously bad at finding this balance. I'm sort of the extreme one way or another type person. I think its because the city I run is not a good fit for myself personally. For one thing, beings that I run a central city that turns out to be a starting hub for a lot of folks, people often want to do specific kinds of roleplay that I despise with a vengeance. And while I try not to let it color the way I think about people, it often does. I get a lot of requests for politics and assassin type RP, which truthfully leaves me uninspired and drained. First, most new players can't get involved in Syliras' politics unless they were born with a last name like Drykas. And second of all, there's not a lot of people in Syliras that want everyone dead. There's no nobility per say, though anyone can work their way up too it in the ranks to become a knight, which is the closest folks get. I muddle through it, but in the end I pretty much hate it. Why? Well the truth is simple. This big glorious fortress city was built by knights who have very high values and huge senses of honor. People live there under their good graces. There's not a lot of crime because when people break the rules of civility, they simply get uninvited - either forcefully or violently. And politics... well in fantasy worlds, the politics often leave me feeling 'generic' or 'extreme' not exactly true to what the reality of that world would be if that world was indeed real. I don't know if that makes sense, but to me, there's better ways to make use of my time. Like... counting the spots on a freckled face redheaded kid or picking navel lint out of navels. Syliras should be cut and dried. It's a simple set up in a central location that welcomes all but bites back with a vengeance when someone doesn't follow the rules of those that built it. There's no epic feel to it because it is so "It is what it is." It's really rather plain, though it doesn't have to be. I think it just need the right person to come along and run it who really digs intricate political ramifications as well as a couple of interesting plot lines interwoven into the city that almost everyone experiences at one time or another. So, that means I need to establish a timeline. I need to wrap up Syliras threads, start only the festival situation, and all that entails, and get the new city ready. Getting the new city ready will be a labor of love. Hopefully I'll find it. I know it will be far easier to do once I get established in Wind Reach and have the sorts of RP there I see as framing the entirety of the place. I can't wait to unveil some of the newer concepts I've got going to form some dramatic rp groups that will indeed be able to have the sorts of intrigue people want along with some deep seeded secrets and geas' that cover the whole of an entire group of people. In the mean time, if I'm ignoring your thread, prod me. I forget. I get distracted. I am off being an admin or off playing with my PC. It's not something I mean to do. It's just that I have a lot of things to take care of and your thread is generally just one of many. I'm going to get down so that I only have two or three threads going at once moderator wise... but this has to happen when we have more qualified storytlelers. And that will only happen with time. .

[Gossamer]

. Some Chicken Fun @ Home I'm sitting out on one of my patios overlooking the back yard. I'm working on some Mizahar posts and enjoying a sunny afternoon with the chickens. One of my overstuffed and wholly unafraid roosters gets up on the table (with Sugar the hen) and crows for the camera. Then he attempts to fly off the table to perch on the chair across from me... like he did when he was little... and the chair collapses. This was the first day this spring they've been out and been allowed to roam. I guess the poor guy didn't realize he'd gained 15 lbs over the winter. .

[Gossamer]

. Artwork Photo manipulation of a wemic I did when we were contemplating races. This is made from about ten or fifteen different stock photos, fur brushes, hair brushes, bug brushes, backgrounds, and the whole thing is painted over repeatedly in photoshop. Mural for a seahorse loving childs room. I have it on small scale and then painted it on an entire 10 foot wall for her. This is enamel semi-gloss wall paint. Metalic racehorse running at night. This is a very large piece too but again a very bad photo. This is prismacolor. Character image I did for someone who just wanted a simple colored in line drawing. This one is done in prismacolors. Some of us where chatting about how much we love art. I agreed to show some of mine. Some of this stuff is fairly large so its not scanned into the computer or anything... They are just photographs of art that are then scanned in so you miss all the detail. But I generally work in large scale. So here's some examples of my work. It's not great stuff, but heh... once upon a time The Seattle Art Institute offered me a full ride scholarship based on my portfolio. I didn't take it because I wanted to be a scientist way more than a commercial artist. I still have the letter of offer from them though. .

[Abashai]

Jen, Love the chickens! and I didn't realize you were an artist. How cool!

[Gossamer]

. XP Issues And Other Problems If you are ever given an XP award that you don't agree with, please don't be discouraged! Its really an easy thing to first go talk to the person who awarded the XP and ask them why they gave what you think is too low of a number (or the wrong kind, or the wrong lore etc). And if your shy and don't know if your thinking is off, feel free to ask another Storyteller or a Founder what they think about the award and have them review the thread. If they are in agreement that the award was off, they'll let you know. But you do really need to go talk to the person that gave you the award and ask them why. If they won't change it (and trust me most storytellers are reasonable and will if you have a good reason why you want it changed) then feel free to talk to whomever is directly above them on the pecking order. If its an AS, please talk to their DS. If its a DS, please talk to a Founder since we don't have RS's yet. Anyhow... we're all big adults here and honestly I can't think of a single person here who hasn't made a mistake (myself included!) and went 'oh! your right!' when someone asks. And if the person asking isn't right, at least they can be told "I'd like to see more of this... that... or the other... " in order to get the award up to where both parties agree. I have always let people change their posts, add stuff in, taken stuff out, altered as they wanted to get the award they wanted. I won't think... "oh that person is a bother..." or "what a pain in the rear..." cause I know we all are individuals and if you ask ten people what they think the same thread is worth, they will probably give you ten different answers. Due to Mizahar's fluid and complex nature, its impossible to standardize thread awards... X number of XP per X number of posts etc. It's just too impossible. Plus some people write one-liners and others write 2k posts per session. So... the bottom line is simple. If you have a problem, talk to the person you have a problem with. If you aren't comfortable talk to the next highest person up the pecking order. Just open a dialog. Be nice. Be friendly. Ask why. If someone does something, they should be ready to back it up with the why and also give you a chance to improve if indeed their why is a rock solid good reason. Miza's a friendly place full of friendly people. We all get along fairly well. And if we all keep talking when issues arise and work through them together, we'll geta whole lot of thing solved in a very short amount of time. .

[Gossamer]

. Frustration I'm pretty disgusted this morning. Disgusted doesn't even begin to really cover what I'm feeling, actually. At first I went from outright pissed off to shock to disgust and now I've pretty much moved into the realm of WTF which is bordering on incredulous. It's no stretch to figure out why either. When someone asks me to tell them what I think, I'm going to do it in honest and fair terms. I don't put people down. I do not attack their work. I point out flaws and things that don't coincide with our game world and our standards. We have standards on Mizahar. Some of you might have noticed this. It's part of that wow factor people keep talking about when they log onto our site and start reading the wiki. Its a super simple formula really. The first part involves fact checking. Did what you write match what our vision and our established game facts say? The second part is civility and decency. Does everyone like it? Agree with it? Is it true to the game and in being true to the game is it nicely presented? If something doesn't jive, I say so. If something is snarky or disparaging to others, I say so. Having a blue name, that's my job folks. I don't do it to put authors down. And I certainly don't expect to be painted as having victimized someone after giving a critique - complete with asked for clarifications, when one has been requested. . .

[Gossamer]

I saw this today. I appreciated the sentiment.

[Siiri]

Game time is quite an issue for some people I think. Check this news bit out. I actually heard the news about it over the radio a couple of weeks back and found it quite disturbing to say the least.

[Gossamer]

And the sad thing is, Siiri, that for every one we hear about there's probably hundreds of issues we don't hear about. I can't believe people would do that to children... innocent little babies. It breaks my heart. As someone who's tried to have kids for years, I really just want to shake the persons involved or at least subject them to the same treatment they subjected their little ones too. I know thats not very just. But its the way I feel.

I've even been wandering around my place today feeling sorry for my horses because they are out in mud and their runs are caked high with debris that needs removed. I can't do anything about it until the weather dries out the mud and summer comes along to do the annual spreading of the apples and re-sanding the runs. But.. guess what? They are probably on the plump side for conditioning. They are overwhelmingly well-fed. Their stalls are dry. And if you ask them, they still want to go out in the mud because no one wants to be in the stall all winter long while its pouring down rain even on a nice day. My animals get to the vet. A thick file multiple places testifies to this. They get wormed, hoof care, vacs and the whole nine yards. Every day I check a horse rescue site looking at animals that are turned in and in horrible shape. Every day I read Fugly Horse to see whats going on in the equine world thats batshittery. But the truth is, its never enough. All you can do is take care of things on the home front and report things on other fronts when they aren't going well.

But regardless, I get soooo mad at neglect, abuse, and general battshittery.

[Gossamer]

. DID YOU KNOW... Man, I've been doing a lot of whining lately. I chock it up to being stuck on the couch hacking coughing and constantly blowing my nose and generally resembling a ten day old already microwaved pizza pocket with mold growing on the outside. In fact this green shirt I have on right now and the unflattering non-matching shade of green shorts I also have on seems to reinforce that impression. My hair is mussed up. Its in a bun (sort of) - but the type that has dark (almost black) auburn tendrils poking out each and every which way. I have numerous pillows for comfort and a footstool is pulled over by the couch so if I get tired of being curled up on the couch I can stretch my legs out recliner style. I have a cough syrup, cold/flu pills, the remote, a video camera and a cell phone handy. There's also a cup of juice which is half finished. I have a mountain of Kleenexs (used) on the table beside me along with the designer box they came from which I kinda am partial to the pattern of. There's about ten cats (give or take a few) in attendance that keep trying to sneak on my lap or otherwise via for my attention. My computer is on a nifty little laptop stand that perches on its singular leg which is nifty since it doesn't make my lap too warm. And I have a warm fuzzy blanket with a running wolf (doesn't everyone have one of these?) thrown off to the side. I'm all set up. Even my dotting husband is in attendance and has patiently listened to me whine all day even after I coughed and kept him up all night. So, in all this pathetically pitiful gross state of being... what do I notice? Its singularly awesome to help run a game like Mizahar. Seriously, no matter how pissed off I get... no matter how bad I feel because I have just wated my time doing something that was not welcome or appreciated, I always fall back to development which I love. I've spent all day really working on polishing Webbing and enjoying the heck out of ansering PMs, Help Desk Tickets, and questions in the question forum. I added a new banner Hex made, flirted with a new race which I'm going back and forth working on while taking breaks to ponder Webbing details. I've had a ball. I'm running a fever and still having a ball. That's slightly unfair, right? I have two jobs I really like. One pays me in good old fashioned dollars. The other pays me in spiritual kickback and warm fuzzy joy. I like that. I like making a difference and helping build a place that others are so obviously enjoying. Mizahar is growing. It's getting big... large enough that it blows my mind how well we've done and we haven't been open a year. I'm grateful each time someone donates - be it time, effort, coin to pay the server fees, or just throws a welcome to a new player in the Introduction Forum. It's exciting. Its somewhat out of control. But I love every minute of it. .