[Fallacy's Scrapbook] Between Reality and Misconception

[Fallacy]

I told myself that I would finally make a scrapbook today instead of blowing it off like I keep on doing. So, this is writing might seem a little forced because I’m not used to ranting about anything, or telling about my day. This scrapbook will be used to keep my more on track as a mod, keep you (the people of Alvadas) updated on the happenings behind the scenes because there is nothing wrong with a little sneak peak is there? It will also serve as my own little place where I can rant on and on and on about my life, what is happening, my feelings on things, and whatever else I feel like sharing with you guys. Well, I guess I should start with today. It has been an eventful day; well at least it has more action than my previous. Today I got college all squared away, I submitted for financial aid and even got my books. Now, I’m only going to Baker College, but that is better than nothing. That and it’s a lot cheaper than those big universities. I don’t think I would fit into a huge university and I have my reasons. I want to get school over with, not that I don’t like to learn, but I want to move onto bigger and better things. There is a whole world out there to explore and travel and a whole lot of interesting people to meet. Just first I need to get my education. Now you people are probably wondering what I’m studying and so I’ll give you a hint by listing off my text books Psychology Applied to Modern Life An Introduction to Human Services Composition The Writer’s Brief Handbook The Oxford New Desk Dictionary and Thesaurus Any guesses? College, its still a subject that I’m not sure about. It’s not that I doubt going there would help me, but I am unsure of how to feel about it. It’s like I’m finally here, I’m to the point that I set out to reach since childhood, and now, well now I don’t know how to feel about it. I guess if I had to sate any emotion it would be a mixture between fear, excitement, and dread. Fear because I am unsure what lies ahead, and what if I find out that the major that I signed up for isn’t really what I want to do? I would have spent all this money on nothing. Thoughts come to me sometimes saying ‘are you sure?’ and I don’t know how to answer that besides a flat out ‘yes I am sure,’ but it always has a clause ‘for now’. That ‘for now’ is what scares me the most. Now I’m excited because it is quite frankly something I’ve been looking forward to for a while now, and even though I don’t express my excitement outward I still am. It marks a new beginning in my life and one filled with learning. I am on the ‘right track’ or so says my realities. I want to believe that because it is what I’ve been told growing up, but something doesn’t feel right. Like the fact that I have to take out a loan just to pay for college. I have to go in debt just to pay for my schooling. It seems a little skewed. Though I did get some money form the scholarships that I applied to, so every little bit helps. I’m dreading it because of the mystery of what happens next. I haven’t planned out very far into the future and I guess I need to work on that. I now find myself needing another goal, and I’ve come up with one, being as cunning as I am I just want to get through college and work a job that I will love. If you truly enjoy doing something then you won’t dread it, you will love to do it and live a happier life because of it. In the end, all the money invested in my education will be worth every cent and dime and nickel and dollar. I will make it so, because it is all perception, this world that we live in. That is what has been happening in my life, that and I so cleverly scheduled my classes so I only have college Thursday and Friday. That just means that I have to look for a job. I have submitted applications to all the stores that had signs that were hiring including both Dollar Generals and Toys R Us. I also have an application that is pending because I applied to this bread company for a job also. Was supposed to get a call this month about it so I have my fingers crossed, I really need money to both save to pay off my loans and to have just a bit of fun with. It would be unrealistic for me to say that I’m saving every penny of the money I make. I just will make a budget and stick to it. I can do that at least. Now onto some more fun stuff. Alvadas As some of you may know I have announced that I would like another person to join the storyteller team in Alvadas. This is because my new devoted time to college and my want for fresh ideas to bounce around. If you write on the same chalkboard all the time eventually it’s going to get filled up, you know? (I’ve never been good at analogies) That and with both storytellers in college (Bedlam and I) it would just be nice to have a third person to help us manage Alvadas. It is a growing city with more and more people coming to it every day and we have a lot of projects that we are working on. YOU can help us out by contributing your time to Alvadas and just making it a better place for all of Mizahar. Not only will you feel wanted, needed, appreciated, but the players will tell you too. They will tell you what they like and don’t like. All you have to do is ask. Ask and it will be told, give and you shall receive I believe whoever volunteers will find that the position will be well worth their time. Hm, more fun stuff is on the way for Alvadas. More top secret locations are on the way, even another one from the famous Sculptor Towers, and even some government ones. You heard me right, government run offices and buildings. Plenty of new opportunities for jobs will open up and the government of Alvadas will be in soonish. The release date is all depending on how fast I can finish up the NPCs and get a nice ‘flow chart of power’ in. Im hoping to have that done this weekend, but we will see how things go. It will be soon though, I promise, my citizens of Alvadas. Have faith in me and it will be rewarded. We in Team Alvadas don’t want to give you anything but the best of our work so that is why something’s take longer than others. So please I ask and beg for your patience and understanding. I’m in full confidence that it will be well worth the wait. Things to do, things to do. Well, so far the tournament is going great. It’s my first attempt at a real event in Alvadas and although it’s quite light in moderation I still had to organize it all. I just hope the contestants are having as much fun in it as possible, and they understand though it is a competition it still is for fun and that should be the top priority for all participating. I’m glad how it is turning out. Everything seems to be going smoothly and I realize that I still need to post the second match for Team Ulric and Team Shale. I’ll get to that, I promise guys. Oh, and in case you couldn’t tell I like Queen They rule! It seems that is all I have to talk (rant) about today…

[Tessa Poe]

Best of luck with college Fal-Fal, I felt pretty much the same when I first turned up at Uni, but it worked out in the end Though they did nearly kick me out after my first term there because I was busy doing things other than study. But it wasn't like any of the first term's course counted towards my final grade so you might want to avoid that

[Fallacy]

Frustration Yes... This is a venting post so I might ramble. Words, in a setting like this they can speak volumes about a persons personality. They are used to communicate and express oneself. They can be used for good or for ill and they quite meaningful here. Here, on Mizahar, one uses words to have fun, to explore, to imagine, to investigate, and to create. The words we use and choose create who we are to those reading it, and most of the time its the first and only impression that the said person will get of you. So, there is a lot of pressure to 'say the right thing' and to 'try to fit in' using your words. Some people, sad as they are, only express the viewpoint of the majority. Do they find safety in numbers? Because I will tell all of you, no matter what numbers you come in, if I think you are wrong about something. I wont stop there, but I will continue to explain, using my own logic and viewpoint, why you are wrong. Numbers to me mean nothing because I have the final say in my city, I am DS here me roar. So, words have power, I have power, but there is something else that has power here as well. Something far more defining than my power in my city, or the words that I write, and that is action. Actions speak louder than words and this time I have to agree. It is not only what you type but what you do to solve the problems. Some people choose to go to their perceived source of the problem and call them out, tell them they are doing something wrong, and having a big argument over it. The argument escalating to a point where someone threatens to go get a founder to deal with it. ALL of this happening in Alvadas Channel while I am not present. I am here to say that is BS and should not happen. If a player has a problem with another player in which they cannot resolve themselves dont lower yourselves to a petty state and keep on arguing. Tell someone who can judge the situation and act fairly. Ask a moderator for assistance or intervention especially if it just revolves around nit-picking the lore, and if it involves a player in Alvadas talk to me about it. Im sick of hearing these rumors of petty feuds that go on behind my back. So, stop harassing each other and get someone who has the power to actually do something. Its not hard and I dont bite. PM me if I am not online and Ill get back ASAP especially if it is important. I can resolve the issue quickly. Now onto the other side of things. There have been people asking my help for the understanding of magic. Myself, as a moderator, try to keep and be as fair as possibly when trying to explain rules and regulations regarding that. Some might say that Im too lax, but I say that I am learning. Yes I dont have complete and utter understanding of magic like the great/mighty/powerful/godly Tarot but I do believe I understand it enough to make my own judgement on the matter. I do not need people quoting lore at me as a counter argument to what I said especially (when I quoted the lore myself) when they dont understand what they are talking about themselves. Ill be the first to say that I dont know everything about magic and I know world magic waaay better than personal, but because I say that dont discount my wisdom especially when you asked for it and when you play in my city. If I see you are doing something wrong with magic, in my city, Im going to go to great lengths to correct it. Though I am getting off track. If you ask for my help in understanding magic and dont like my answer dont you dare tell me that you are going to another person who you think knows magic better than I and asking the same questions. Because that really puts me in a sour mood and it comes off as rude and disrespectful. It makes me think and want to yell at the top of my lungs "Thanks for wasting my time, A******!" and really, it gets me that upset. It shouldnt, and yes its a overreaction, but the simple fact remains that it does. As a player when I was first starting here I would never second guess the word of any Storyteller. I would ask them questions and get my answers, some I liked and some not so much. We all dont like being wrong, and we all dont like being told 'no, that cant happen because of so and so' but we can all (or so I hope) move on to bigger and better things. If one idea doesnt work, or you find out that you have totally a skewed version of the magic system in your head then change it accordingly. Its quite obvious that storytellers have much the experience with this world and how it is run. Having said all of this I dont like antagonists. They suck, but sometimes a moderator has to be the 'antagonist' of the situation to some people because 'they are not on so and so's side'. I dont really care about what you think of me. If someone has a problem with how I mod please take it up with me instead of complaining about it with other or leave my city. Alvadas' doors dont close and disappear when you enter the city. You can leave anytime, and I have to say good riddance especially if you dont take me seriously. I believe that moderators should be the 'servants' of the players, coming up with cool things for them to do and answering questions. They should be accommodating and I try to be accommodating, but only up to a certain point. So I guess what really bothers me about all this is people that dont listen. The textbook definition of Frustration is "any situation in which the pursuit of some goal is thwarted." Im trying to get a point across and they just are not hearing it covering their ears and going la la la la la. I'm done. If people think Im not being a moderator then Ill show them being a moderator. Yay for empty threats! Or is it? Watch it around me because not everything is as it seems, especially in Alvadas. -End rant here- On the other side of things. Thank you Tessa college is going great. Just trying to adjust it to my schedule now X.X but that is another scrap altogether.

[Tessa Poe]

I'm glad to hear that college is going well Fal-Fal it can be a big adjustment to make and all. I'm sure you'll manage to get your schedule sorted though, Ooooo! You could even make a pretty chart to organise things with lots of bright colours and glitter! Because that's a productive use of your time, really.

(If you do ever decide to do that I want to see pics too )

As for the venting itself... ahhh I'm not entirely sure what to say. Frankly it's a ridiculous thing to do, going over someone's head to try and get an answer that's more agreeable to you. Ugh... I suppose if you were sure they were wrong on a point in the Lore... but then surely it'd be best to talk it over with the first person? Politely? It's not like manners cost anything.

[Gossamer]

. Response I know the folks you have to deal with in Alvadas. And while they are all highly creative they are all equally strong willed. As a fellow staffer I feel for you and totally hear what you are saying and feel what you are feeling. But.. if I could change one thing you said, I'd slip out the word 'Servant' because you are not the servant of these folks as a Domain Storyteller. Instead, I'd be all ninja and slip the word 'Partner' in there and hope you wouldn't notice until it was too late. Storytellers are in a very cool partnership with the players in their cities. They need never bend over backwards to accommodate folks or perform actions like a trick pony for someone else's pleasure and none of their own. The beauty of a good crew of players and a good storyteller is finding the happy medium. I think everyone in Alvadas has the potential to make the city incredible within a partnership with you. They just need to sit back and think a bit on your feelings. Half the battle has bee won though now on your side. Because you're brave enough to put yourself out there, they can't have any excuses for not knowing HOW you feel and the why of it which is completely reasonable. That's a great step you just took in a partnership. Its like you just said "Here's what I offer and here's what I need." I hope they do the same and put a similar foot forward both IC and OOC. .

[Fallacy]

Drop in the Pond ...Things taking longer than expected. Have you ever head the saying that you shouldn't rush an artist? Or something along those lines of 'don't worry about how long things are taking as long as they turn out amazing in the end'. Well, Ive been thinking that things in Alvadas, the projects that we have been working on, are taking longer to complete than I would like. To me its frustrating because I want them complete, but I also understand things like this take time. But how much time? Honestly I believe both the guard of Alvadas and the government should be up already, but that has not come true. It seems that their 'lateness' and their not being up is really holding back more ideas from surfacing. Sure, us Mods can come up with little locations all day long, but that doesn't really help anyone. The kind of things that are in development now are really the tools that will drive the city forward, or that is the hope. Just these 'huge' development writeups that are already a couple thousand words long are taking forever because we are making sure that all the pieces are there. We are making the NPCs along with crafting the main article itself. We are not leaving anything out, and we are trying to make them as complete as they possibly can be before we release them to the public. We are striving for quality and that is taking forever to write up because we also have our PCs that we want to play, we have our own character goals, and in the end we have to juggle time as a mod and time as PC. I believe I have not found that balance, and have lately been trying to really just finish up the projects that were started forever ago and finishing them up. I have made that a priority for Team Alvadas, and yet I do see improvement in activity from my mods the articles are not necessarily getting out there any faster. Yes it is being written, but it seems, at least to me, that its still going at the turtle slow pace it has always been. Sure, Im seeing more updates, but Im still not satisfied. I guess I wont really be until it is all done, which is looking to be a while from now. NaNoWriMo doesn't help one bit. Perhaps it is just my discontent that is blinding me? Because I know my mods are working hard. I know that to be true. They are taking my goals into consideration and they are really trying. Im not trying to 'point fingers' because I know my government project is not doing any better. There is still a ton of work to do to the departments and to the NPCs? Maybe my angst comes from me underestimating the enormity of these projects? That must be it. Im underestimating just how big these projects are and overestimating the time needed to put into each one. ... I don't know where Im going with this anymore. Goss, thank you for the advice in your last post. I really needed it, and when Im 'like that' I guess I only see what I want to and my perception of the situation is a little off. Hmm, this seems more like a kind of journal than a scrapbook XD

[Gossamer]

. Response I should probably stay the heck out of your scrapbook, but the things that you say always seem to speak so directly too me even though I know they aren't about me at all. I understand where you are coming from on the writeups you want to produce for Alvadas. I understand the need to be perfect, to cover all your bases, and make sure its a playable situation from all angles. I think that's why I get so stressed out over the Stub Development Request Thread where people casually pop in and say "Wouldn't it be cool to have this done... or that done... or I want to see this completed." Each article they request is literally dozens and dozens of hours and tons of brain power and views from all angles and what I think of as a lot of blood sweat tears. Sometimes I feel like people think these concepts pop out of thin air with no background behind them. But the truth is they are pieces of my soul and something I am unwilling to throw up 'half assed'. You won't catch me posting a race that doesn't have a complete race writeup. I can't physically do it without feeling sick. It's bad enough I posted the Cytali and Ruv'na unfinished but they were factions that would effect very few people. So I totally feel your anxiety. But I know the last few writeups I've done have been some of my best. The ones to come will be even better. I just think it takes time and people need to be patient... especially the authors of those pieces. .

[Fallacy]

Lists and Challenges Things are piling up Things have been bland lately. That isn't a bad thing, but at the same time it isn't exactly a good thing either. By bland I mean that I've been searching for things to do and reach out to do because things, being activities I love to do, just are not feeling the same as they used to. It is all losing its luster and everything I do now is seeming like a chore. Not just Miza, but everything in my life. I find myself having trouble getting the simplest assignment done and it seems I only do the work if I know without a doubt that I NEED to do it, otherwise it get thrown out until after I take my 'nap'. Which usually lasts all day... Studying psychology and taking that major in Human Services I know that I'm showing the tall tell signs of depression. Yes, depression. Though it is best not to self-diagnose. So, I'm going to get a second opinion, and some 'help' soon. What does this mean for you? Well, I'm going to do my best to keep things running as planned. Seasonal Quests and threads I'm running are to be done, and nothing is going to change 'cept the fact that I might be a little slower responding. The first is here and I need to get in gear. Though things won't officially start until about the 4th. You see, I'm currently volunteering at the ADAM house for a project for one of my HUS (Human Services) classes. The ADAM house is a place for people to go who are grieving a loss. It can be just about anyone though its focused on parents who lost children and children who lost parents. The house is to make the grieving process 'easier' on those dealing with the loss by having support groups, and professionals there to direct and talk to. The updates that are coming when I get around to figuring out the wiki are: Alvadas Government is going in Updating Alvadas NPC list. Need to put in ALL the NPCs Ive been using for threads and those of the government 2 NEW underground locations Put in little thread page about the Underground so people know what to expect. Or at least in the main city page. Questions and answers are cool. Post them here! I NEED to update the Alvadas City Wiki page with current locations and cool stuff Things to do this season: Finish up outstanding quest "Shadows Rising" Start Alvadas (epic) Seasonal Quest Start gnosis thread challenges. (Talk to other STs/RS to get assistance) Grade threads in my office Holy cow I have a lot, but fear not, I'm on the job~ Dream up of cool things to do with Alvadas. Talk to Goss about starting an amazing 'seasonal challenge' calender much like WR and Sunberth. (Because you guys are so inspiring and awesome) Help PCs in my city achieve their goals as much as I can. Keep in better communications with Team Alvadas, and the Founder group. I'd like to keep myself busy as a moderator because writing as my PCs has got much harder since the utter fail at NaNo. I don't know what happened, but it was like a switch and BAM I can't write for them anymore. I hope to get my inspiration back by replying to my modded threads and trying to stay in touch with at least Rayage. I love the nuit, and as my first PC he still is my most treasured. So... Archy, and V sorry for being so slow! I'm really trying to post. I've just 'lost my touch' or it could be my confidence, but either way I'm trying to recover from this crippling grasp that this funk has in me. To recover from this I guess I should post my PCs goals Rayage: Make the bull-lizard for Qiao Be promoted in Sahova! GET MY SEASONAL XP FOR WINTER, SPRING, AND FALL (seriously... I have the patience of a saint sometimes because I know it will be worth it) Flesh out past with cool flashbacks (have 500 years to work with ) Bug Goss for modded thread Discover something as ancient as Ray Discover a unique way to use Alchemy Earn a Trailblazer Badge for creating first Homunculus IN GAME. Find out more about Rupert Pycon and his work (Muahaha, so Ray can surpass him in every way.) OOC/Misc Goals: Bug Tarot with more magic questions that are bound to surface Ask Tarot what the lost discipline (Aitheia) mentioned in Rupert Pycons page is. Become a better DS Learn more about 'Game Balance' and how to be a more fair mod. Overcome this funk I'm in and just WRITE Seriously talk to Goss about the Ruv'na. So, lots to do and only so much time. :/ Sometimes I wish I had more than 24 hours in a day.

[Fallacy]

Updates Because I like to show off Hello. Happy news! Ive been working my tail off with the rest of my colleges HUS (Human Services) program. This has been months of hard work collecting what we can and gathering our resources and really using the generosity of our community to help one organization that really needs it. We chose the ADAM house because, well, it is a great organization and it could use a little help. Our kind of help is like those shows you see on TLC where there is an 'extreme home makeover'. We wanted to turn this place upside down and inside out and make it look 100 times better. Not only for the staff, but for the people who use this resource. The ADAM house is a place for people to go to grieve and show and express it. Its a place of healing, and helping for those dealing with a loss. Now remember this are you look at pictures before and how the conditions were not really... uh, good. Here are some pics of the house before: Secret : This is the house afterwards: Secret : As you can see a major transformation, and one that Im so proud to have been a part of. I sure hope they love what we did to the place. Anyways besides showing off Ive come to announce that the project is finished, and this week is finals; do not expect much to be done from me this week Thanks for being so understanding.

[Fallacy]

Where is YOUR Halo? Another self-centered rant about something that I cant get off my mind Ok, halos. We all have them, and no Im not talking about the video game. Wish I was though, and it would be cool if everyone had a copy, but that isnt how the cookie crumbles. The Halo Im talking about isn't the resonating ring of light above a holy figures head, or the aura that Jesus had. The halo which I speak of is the light within everybody, the good within us all. We all have it, we all can be good and are so most of the time. Why is it that most people only see the bad? If we all have good, are capable of good things, good deeds, good actions, good life why do we just concentrate on the negative? If someone does something bad they are one hundred times more likely to get recognized than those who do good. That is a fact in Fallacy's world. That is sad, just utterly sad. Murder, rape, domestic violence, dog attacks, school shootings, bombing, racism, religious intolerance, hate crimes, what is this all doing to us? How is this warping our perception of reality? How is that when I turn on the TV to some show, or watch the news its always bad things? If thoughts are things too and the law of attraction works how is all this impacting our daily lives? Its sickening the amount of negativity we are exposed to daily. In response to this growing trend I have chosen to find everybody's halo. We all need reminded that there is good out there, it is why we have faith, is it not? That somewhere in this sea of darkness there is a light, and that light is the one, it salvation, its a sanctuary from the evils of the world. The light is faith, but not only that. I call it hope. The light I carry isnt faith, it is hope. That is what I choose to carry deep inside me, and I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that people can see it. Not only that, but feel it too. People have always been comfortable around me. They tell me things that they normally wouldn't even say to their best friend, or so Im told. With this air about me Ive seen a lot of people's darker sides, heard their mistakes, seen what pain and anguish it brought them because they dwell on it. Hardly is something reported to me that is good in nature. Though, I dont allow myself to dwell on their darkness, I dont allow myself to be brought down by the negativity. I just sit there and listen, unbiased, keeping a completely straight face. Disclaimer, I am human. Im not totally unbiased all the time. I falter, but so does everyone else. After Im done listening I remind the person that there were many people before him, and Im sure, many people after him which are going to make the same mistake that he just did. Its a learning process. I remind them that what has happened has happened and there is no changing that, but you can change that which has yet come to pass. I build them up, and I get them to look at their light instead of focusing on the shadows which they cast. You know the tricky thing about shadows, right? They are shapeshifters. They can grow or shrink, be really long or really fat... and you know the tricky thing about light? It cast shadows, but in the end, with the play of light and dark, it all comes to down to one thing: perspective. Albert Einstein once said "Try not to be become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value". I believe I have said quite enough with the scrap entry. Take from what you will. Time to decorate my rant with pictures so its not as boring to read~ Also, ask yourself where your halo is and please, if you feel so inclined, post here three good things that you love about yourself. Remind yourself of the light you carry with you every now and then. It will do wonders.