Sira's comforting words fell to deaf ears. It was a short trip to the ground, a stomach-churning dive from the cliff that took only mere seconds, but for Addy each second could have been a whole bell.
With green eyes focused only on the broken man that lay on the ground beneath them, the little healer waited only until they were close enough to the ground that she wouldn't hurt herself to jump. It wasn't a hard task to slide from Sira's glossy back and she took the fall well, rolling upon impact and keeping her more fragile appendages tucked safely away within her curled form; Addy had watched Sai preform her acrobatic stunts more times than she could possibly count. After a while, it was hard not to learn a thing or two.
Despite her aversion to dirt and other gross things, Addy made no attempt to brush the leaves and other debris from her hair and clothes as the momentum from her jump carried her right to Gwain's side. Rising from her tumble with a fluid grace that was hardly a common sight in the little woman, Addy darted to hover over the man.
"Can you hear me? Gwain? Can you hear me!" The stress in her voice brought the tone up a few octaves to a pitch close to something only dogs could hear. Repulsion threw bile up the back of her throat and it was all she could do not to heave all over the injured man. How could she have done this?
"If you can hear me, nod or wiggle your fingers." It was a foolish request. Gwain was undoubtedly paralized, his arms and legs splayed and twisted at unnatural angles, so much so that even Addy was only able to give the man's injuries a coursory glance or risk losing her lunch. Even Gwain's neck looked to be slightly bent but it was just too hard to tell.
The guilt made it worse. If Addy had had the ability to do so, she would have immediately transferred his pain onto herself. She had caused it, so she deserved it; it was the main reason why she could not properly assess the man's injuries. For poor Gwain, Addy's own guilt would efficiently remove any chance of his survival.
With her heart racing double time and the seconds ticking by and no movement whatsoever from Gwain, Addy had to try again. "Okay. Blink! Blink if you understand me!" His chest was still moving, a fluttering up and down that the healer tried to tell herself was just a trick of her eye, despite her knowing better. At some point, she had fallen to her knees next to his head, her fingers pressed gently against his forehead.
So intent she was on getting a response from the man, her eyes glued to his, it took a gentle touch on her shoulder from Sira to snap Addy out of her trance. Green's flickered to fierce gold, following her lovers gaze back down to Gwain. It was only then that Addy realized the gentle tremble of his chest, the only sign that he was still alive, had stopped.
"No... no no no no...." For a moment, she was absolutely still, her eyes locked on the unmoving chest until it all of a sudden became too much to bear. Stumbling to her feet, Addy couldn't get away from the corpse fast enough.
"Nonononono Sira! NO!" Though she didn't realize she was screaming her denial, Addy was aware of the tears that poured down her cheeks. It was all she could do to stand and tumble the few paces between her and Sira, where she then threw herself into the Kelvic woman's arms. They were silent for a while before Addy was able to manage a few words between sobs.
"Wuh-we killed h-him.... an-an-an-and I didn't d-do anything to s-s-save h-him!"
With green eyes focused only on the broken man that lay on the ground beneath them, the little healer waited only until they were close enough to the ground that she wouldn't hurt herself to jump. It wasn't a hard task to slide from Sira's glossy back and she took the fall well, rolling upon impact and keeping her more fragile appendages tucked safely away within her curled form; Addy had watched Sai preform her acrobatic stunts more times than she could possibly count. After a while, it was hard not to learn a thing or two.
Despite her aversion to dirt and other gross things, Addy made no attempt to brush the leaves and other debris from her hair and clothes as the momentum from her jump carried her right to Gwain's side. Rising from her tumble with a fluid grace that was hardly a common sight in the little woman, Addy darted to hover over the man.
"Can you hear me? Gwain? Can you hear me!" The stress in her voice brought the tone up a few octaves to a pitch close to something only dogs could hear. Repulsion threw bile up the back of her throat and it was all she could do not to heave all over the injured man. How could she have done this?
"If you can hear me, nod or wiggle your fingers." It was a foolish request. Gwain was undoubtedly paralized, his arms and legs splayed and twisted at unnatural angles, so much so that even Addy was only able to give the man's injuries a coursory glance or risk losing her lunch. Even Gwain's neck looked to be slightly bent but it was just too hard to tell.
The guilt made it worse. If Addy had had the ability to do so, she would have immediately transferred his pain onto herself. She had caused it, so she deserved it; it was the main reason why she could not properly assess the man's injuries. For poor Gwain, Addy's own guilt would efficiently remove any chance of his survival.
With her heart racing double time and the seconds ticking by and no movement whatsoever from Gwain, Addy had to try again. "Okay. Blink! Blink if you understand me!" His chest was still moving, a fluttering up and down that the healer tried to tell herself was just a trick of her eye, despite her knowing better. At some point, she had fallen to her knees next to his head, her fingers pressed gently against his forehead.
So intent she was on getting a response from the man, her eyes glued to his, it took a gentle touch on her shoulder from Sira to snap Addy out of her trance. Green's flickered to fierce gold, following her lovers gaze back down to Gwain. It was only then that Addy realized the gentle tremble of his chest, the only sign that he was still alive, had stopped.
"No... no no no no...." For a moment, she was absolutely still, her eyes locked on the unmoving chest until it all of a sudden became too much to bear. Stumbling to her feet, Addy couldn't get away from the corpse fast enough.
"Nonononono Sira! NO!" Though she didn't realize she was screaming her denial, Addy was aware of the tears that poured down her cheeks. It was all she could do to stand and tumble the few paces between her and Sira, where she then threw herself into the Kelvic woman's arms. They were silent for a while before Addy was able to manage a few words between sobs.
"Wuh-we killed h-him.... an-an-an-and I didn't d-do anything to s-s-save h-him!"