Split Decision

by **Serrif Von Chatlyn** on November 7th, 2011, 6:05 pm

63rd Fall 511AV

Sunlight brushed his face, chasing away the darkness of his dreams once again. They were becoming more and more violent as of lately…was that because he feared leaving the isle? That was possible. The truth was that he was indeed scared of what awaited him outside this isle. He knew his past life was there just waiting for him in the darkness like a predator one he would eventually have to fight off. He could indeed likely fall right back into it so easy. Like the prey that he really was. Because no matter how bad he wanted to dismiss it, he was still vulnerable to becoming the same thing he was…Seven. He could likely easily be captured and taken back to Ravok and again further tortured. However, this time if any captured him they would be in for much more than they could ever have imagined. He wouldn’t go this time without a hell of a fight. They wouldn’t take him alive ever again, never again. He knew he couldn’t return to that life in any way. NEVER again.

Stirring some his fingers brushed the cool hilt of one of his daggers. They were beginning to feel more and more familiar to him now. They were becoming part of him now as was the bodysuit and the white cloak. He knew that he would have to become much more used to these things as he was likely to wear them almost all the time. It seemed as he used things more and more they became more a part of him. He was comfortable with the daggers whereas when he got them how almost violently foreign they felt in the palm of his hands; even though they were made for him specifically. But now they symbolized power and security for him. They were a safety blanket of kinds. He knew as long as he had them he could fight for his life, they were becoming familiar to him and he was almost to the point where he didn’t feel right without them. He had worn them on the harness everywhere he went so he could acclimate himself to them.

The gentle roar of the ocean came to his ears as he came to. How he would miss that soothing music to his ears…he almost wished he could stay here forever. But he also knew that much bigger things awaited him off this isle. Maybe Ildin and Lym saw this where he could not. All he knew was that he loved the peace of the isle, but as he had told himself many times before this isle couldn’t be his home. These people couldn’t be his people; these women couldn’t be his wife. Even among them he felt alone. Even when they shot him glances as if they were interested in him he knew that they did so only out of drive. Because he was a man and they were women. For he was a short lived mortal and these women were nearly immortal in their lifespan. His feet slipped into the legs of the bodysuit and he gently began fitting the material over his skin. Little by little he slipped every inch of the suit on over his skin. It felt like he was wearing something tight and constricting, yet comfortable at the same time. It was a good thing he was alone here in this tent while he dressed; he wouldn’t want anyone to see his scars like this.

Maybe solitude wasn’t such a horrible thing. It meant he didn’t need to rely on other people so much because others at times had proven to be unreliable to him. So maybe the only person he really needed to count on was himself. Maybe he need only worry about his skills and what he could do. That would prove to be far more reliable in the long run. If he could learn to only depend on himself he would become a lone hunter. A valued asset to someone eventually. But until then he wouldn’t dare let others place a value on him. Only he knew what he could and could not to. Only he knew his real strengths and weaknesses. Yes, only he knew himself the way others thought they did. He had been stomped on and belittled marginalized and ran away from. No more. He wouldn’t let others determine to him what he was worth. He knew that especially once he left these walls he would only really be able to rely on his own skills to keep him alive. He had been alone all his life…as far as he could remember. It was about time he start to recognize that it may stay that way.

He might remain without a home or a place to really call his own. He may just come to be alone for the rest of his life…no he would find someone eventually. There was someone out there for everyone. Just Angelique and Blythe weren’t the best choices for him. So he would find someone eventually. He would just have to make sure they were somewhat stable and understood where he was coming from. Maybe another person with a background like his? Maybe…just maybe one day he would rescue a slave woman from her captor and then she would be his wife. But that was reaching a little too far even for him. He knew that would likely never happen. He was no white knight on a gallant white steed here to solve everyone’s problems and make everyone get along. Would she just agree because he treated her better than the previous person she was with? It was a difficult thought process but he knew that he could never own anyone. Not after knowing what being owned was like. Knowing that his body wasn’t his own. He wasn’t sure how he could break anyone free from the past that they had.

by **Serrif Von Chatlyn** on November 7th, 2011, 6:06 pm

The taunt material of the bodysuit was still slithering over his skin some as he stretched it out over his skin. The suit still fit him perfectly. He knew that the bodysuit would likely still fit him for many more years to come. It honestly fit him like a second skin; like a bodysuit should. It was made mostly of white silk that was re-enforced in areas with leather where it was needed such as the elbows knees and shoulders. He was glad that he had let Val’mera talk him into getting one. It was somewhat uncomfortable at first but it had grown used to it. It hugged him like a lover on a cold night. And just like the daggers it was slowly becoming a comfort for him. Something he was growing used to the feeling of. And he knew pretty soon he would be even more comfortable with it and hardly notice it at all.

His hands found his familiar daggers and the harness. He put his arms through the loops of the harness and brought the longer straps of the harness through his belt. He then fixed his daggers onto the harness and stretched some making sure everything was where it should be. And indeed everything was. He slipped on his boots, then picked up his white cloak. He crawled out of his tent and looked out at the beach. It was a wonderful morning the suns wonderful fingers were lighting the horizon. But he couldn’t see the sun up over the horizon yet. That meant it was a good a time as ever to go to the Suvai Pavilion. Maybe Val’mera would be there to teach him and well…maybe Ildin would. It really didn’t matter to him. One way or another someone was going to teach him something. He did want to brush up more on archery though. He had an affinity for learning with Ildin. She was the one who taught him first and he supposed she would always hold a special place in his memories. SHE taught him what it meant to be at peace with yourself and others. And in a way she was responsible for him coming to terms with his past, learning to accept it and move past it because in all reality he really didn’t have much of another choice in the matter. He could learn from it or let it destroy him. And he chose to learn. Because that was the most logical thing to do. And the only thing he could do if he wanted to move on in his life.

He stretched greeting the breeze as he then reached inside his tent and fixed his climbers quiver to his leg. He liked it there for now because it allowed him to draw his arrows easily. If he had it on his back the movement to draw the arrows was a little drawn out for his liking; not allowing him to pull out and place arrows on target quite as fast as he would like. But when it was on his leg the straps for the quiver held it close to him and wouldn’t let it move. There was an elaborate set of straps on this quiver that he had learned to navigate though. There were two on the bottom facing down, two on the top facing up and two on each side that connected together with belts. He was sure there were plenty of ways to attach these leather straps and he would figure them all out in good time. But for now he attached the upper two to his belt then ran the side ones around his leg. The bottom two got tucked away because he really had nothing to attach them to for the time being.

He picked up his bow and then well he was off down the sandy path toward the center of town where he would then catch another path to the Suvai Pavilion. The same path he had caught for nearly a year now. It had become familiar to him now. In fact much had. Walking past beautiful women he merely gave them a courteous wave and nod of the head acknowledging them as he tread along. He knew to them he was something almost foreign. Seeing a man here was odd. Especially seeing the same man for a long period of time. But he would be leaving soon enough and he figured that he would become a memory for many of them. Something they would joke about or make reference to in one way or another. That didn’t bother him though; not like he would ever know or find out about it. He was leaving the Isle, and he knew that to be soon. He wanted to make good time to wherever he was supposed to go. He had set himself on leaving sometime near the 70th, or maybe he would leave earlier. It all really depended on how he felt about the situation.

But he was running out of reasons to stay here, he wanted to learn from Ildin and Lym. But at the same time he knew they were eager to send him out into the world to make something for himself. Because they knew he was capable of things he couldn’t comprehend at this time. But he knew that he would understand everything given time. He just needed time away from this place to finally understand what they were trying to get him to realize. He came to that all familiar balk and walked across there on the first floor stood a very familiar face. It seemed he would be learning from Ildin today. He approached and smiled.

“Morning Mistress.”

“Morning Serrif ready as always.”

“Yes Mistress.”

And like that they were off. This time to the woods again, but this time they weren’t hunting. He could tell by the way Ildin just walked through the woods as if they were on a stroll. It would seem she had something setup for him. As to what he didn’t know yet, but it was there. He saw several ropes hanging from a large wooden wall and he waited. The wall was about four feet wide and appeared to be flat vertical about another twenty feet or so. It was positioned a good twenty feet from him supported by what appeared to be two large wooden poles one on each side. As to what they were doing here well Serrif decided he would let the Mistress speak first. And she did.

by **Serrif Von Chatlyn** on November 7th, 2011, 6:07 pm

“I am going to pull a rope each time a do a target will pop out from behind that wooden wall and fall toward the ground. There are eight targets in all. Each one will be painted in an assortment of red and yellow. Now here is the tricky part it would be easy to have you just simply shoot targets. But we have done this before. So now I challenge you as always. If the target has more red than yellow you are clear to shoot it, but only hit the target in the red. If you hit a target you are supposed to hit but the arrow lands in the yellow it does not count.”

Serrif nodded indicating that he understood what the mistress was saying. So he was to hit targets that were mostly red and only in the red, avoid yellow. A simple task…but nothing with Ildin was ever really simple. So knew there would be a fair amount of challenge with her as well as a fair amount of uncertainty. And she would stretch his limits and abilities like she always did. Knocking an arrow he pulled his bow up. He would pull the arrow back at the same moment she pulled the first rope. He watched the rope out of the corner of his eye and at the exact moment she yanked on it his observation sharpened and he pulled back quickly ready to put an arrow in a target.

The first target rolled from behind the wooden tower. Judging by the sound it was a flat piece of rounded wood rolling off of a ramp of some kind. It rolled out high on the tower near the top on the right side. The target slowly exposed its surface. It looked to be about 3 feet in diameter after it had came in complete view from behind the wall. He saw the surface and then gathered information to make a judgment call.

Target1 :

He immediately noticed that there was only a small amount of red on the target. But he learned several important things even if he didn’t put an arrow in the target. He learned how the other targets would behave. They would roll off from behind the wall and the target would be moving two ways. Toward the ground and on its axis. It was the second that may make measuring the amount of yellow versus red for him. He knew he would have to think fast too because the targets only had to close around twenty feet to hit the ground. Snap judgments would be what he had to make. Gut instincts… It was a ton to put on himself but he knew Ildin wouldn’t stretch him farther than he could reach. She wasn’t cruel…

Target2 :

With little warning Ildin pulled the next rope and a target rolled off. It came from the same place as the last target only its surface was likely going to be different. The pattern was the same as the first one…only reverse. Meaning that by far there was far more red than yellow making it a target he could hit as long as he hit red. So he judged quickly using the observation he made from the first rolling target to help him judge this one. And about half way down he released. His arrow sailed and struck in the rather large red area of the target. It was a hit but at the same time it was far harder than Serrif had anticipated. If he had misjudged much more the arrow would’ve just grazed the target instead of hitting it. But luck and skill were with him that day. Good thing there was no wind though. Otherwise he would have an even more difficult time hitting these targets.

If there was wind it would likely also mess with the targets flattening them as they fell making them nearly impossible for him to hit at all. Because he knew hitting a flat target would be very difficult for him. A flat falling target? That would be interesting to try and hit. Would it fall like a leaf and never allow him an opportunity to hit it? That was most certainly a circumstance he didn’t want to be put in.

He watched with another arrow knocked in the bowstring. He knew that at any moment Ildin could pull that rope and send another target rolling from behind the tower. He waited and could hear it move as it then slowly exposed itself. At first he saw a thin bit of yellow with a stripe of red. But he knew that he would have to look at the entire target not just the little bit he could see right now. But if he had to go off of what was there at this very moment he likely wouldn’t be putting an arrow in the target at all. There wasn’t enough red.

Target3 :

By the time the target had rolled out completely Serrif had almost completely made the decision that he wasn’t going to be placing an arrow in the target. And right he was. There was only a thin strip of red on the entire disk of the yellow target. It hit the ground and he was glad he hadn’t jumped the gun assuming that there would be more red. He used this target to refine what he had observed about the other two targets. Being that he wasn’t busy trying to place an arrow on target he could watch the target. Make observations about how fast it turned as it fell, about how and if it moved trying to make itself flat as it fell. And so far the targets only slightly fell forward making them a little harder to hit. He hadn’t noticed that as much on the first target but it was there.

Again another rope was pulled and a target moved into view. The leading edge seemed to hit that there would be a good amount of red. There was only a small triangular corner or yellow…at first. The target continued to roll from behind and he noticed that there was a larger triangle of yellow as well. Now he had to make a decision. Was there really more red than yellow on this target? With the way that the paint was configured on the face he didn’t know right at the drop of a hat if there was more red or not. So he had to make a decision.

by **Serrif Von Chatlyn** on November 7th, 2011, 6:08 pm

Target4 :

Try as he might he couldn’t come up with a definite answer in his mind. In a way the yellow and red looked equal to him. And if there was more of one than the other…well he couldn’t tell. He would likely have to set the target aside and really look it over; maybe even make measurements or something. Even then he didn’t know if he could be sure. So with the short amount of time he had to make a decision he decided that he couldn’t decide for certain. So he let the target go. There was no way he could make a decision definitively on the target in that amount of time.

Ildin was beginning to enjoy watching his expressions as he was deciding if he should place arrows on target or not. Especially since the last target had equal parts of yellow and red just in a very interesting configuration. She knew that few would be able to make a judgment on the target quickly. And she had originally thought he would put an arrow on the target. But he had refrained. Which told him that he was beginning to have some restraint; that he wouldn’t rush to make decisions that he couldn’t come to a logical conclusion on. This was good because she didn’t want to let lose an archery psychopath on the rest of the realm. She wanted him to be an instrument of her values. To have a level head about everything he did outside of Mura. This way he could live with his decisions knowing that he had done the right thing instead of living with regret because he had acted rashly and made someone else suffer for his decisions.

Again another target was sent from the contraption to meet its fate at Serrif’s hands. He waited and the target bolted out from the wooden cover and exposed itself to him. He wasn’t going to rush to a decision but this target looked like it was one he could mark…now if he could hit it or not was a matter of his level of skill. The red was concentrated in the middle of the target forming a large circle that swallowed most of the target. This meant as long as he aimed for the center of the target he would likely mark somewhere within the red center.

Target5 :

He allowed for the targets rate of drop and then gauged quickly where that would put his arrow. In an instant he had his answer, released and watched. The arrow struck more toward the top of the center red area but still marked in the red so he was clear. That was what this exercise was about, it didn’t matter where he hit as long as it was in the red of the target. He was doing well. But his mind was still on the strange target he had let pass. Was there more yellow or red in it? He couldn’t be sure but he knew Ildin would give him an answer eventually…or maybe she wouldn’t. It didn’t matter he had another target that was going to roll off the tower within seconds and he had to react to it.

Target6 :

Again another oddly painted target rolled from behind the cover…He wasn’t sure immediately if there was more red or yellow but it was similar to the target he had just marked. Only this one had a rather fat red crescent moon in the middle of it. He made a snap decision and let an arrow loose to meet the middle of the target. But he hadn’t accounted completely for the roll of the target as the arrow hit slightly off center and in the yellow area of the target. He was disappointed but he heard nothing from Ildin…why did she say nothing? He was expecting her to scold him or say some sarcastic remark…but her saying nothing caught him off guard.

She knew this exercise was stretching his abilities way past where they had been. But he wasn’t some apprentice of hers anymore. He was indeed reaching the upper levels of his skillset. He was nowhere near her level of skills but he was no simple child with a bow anymore. He was becoming a well-honed tool. He merely needed his edge to be refined in a few places. Refining that she wanted to do before he left the isle for the outside world, because once he was out there he was on his own and would have to lean on these skills. Fast accurate decision making would have to be part of his toolset if he was to survive out there. Especially if he was going to travel to Riverfall and Wind Reach alone. All sorts of dangers awaited him along the road before him. It was her job to make sure he made it there alive.

Target7 :

Like he had expected another target was issued and the challenge continued. By his count there would only be one more after this one. It was almost over which meant he knew Ildin had something in store for him, or maybe this time she wouldn’t. The target was equally red and yellow…and this time there was no hiding it. The target was divided right down the center…or was it. It almost looked like the red side was a little more than the yellow one. He made a quick decision and decided this time to put an arrow in the red side of the target. He believed it was one he could hit.

by **Serrif Von Chatlyn** on November 7th, 2011, 6:08 pm

The arrow sailed true and hit the red in the far right side of the target inside the red area. So there was now one more final target for him to mark…One he was sure would be a true test for him because Ildin never pulled any punches. She was always one step ahead of him and was constantly trying to find ways to really stretch him. He half expected her to pull the final rope and hundreds of targets would drop off of the tower confusing him so much that he wouldn’t be able to put an arrow in any single target before they hit the ground. He was preparing himself mentally for whatever Ildin had in mind next. It could be anything…

She pulled the rope and a target rolled…but were his eyes deceiving him?

Target8 :

The target was neither yellow or red…it was blue. Was it going to change colors on him? Suddenly change to be red so he would have to put an arrow in it? He watched it carefully as it fell to the ground; knowing well that at any moment it may change color…was he insane for thinking that? It met the ground and the entire time it had been blue…what was the purpose of that?

“Good….” Ildin said as she walked over to the pile of targets and then laid each of them out on the ground so he could further examine them.

All Targets :

He looked over all of them but there were two that he was really interested in, the fourth and seventh targets. He wasn’t so sure about them but as far as all the others…he was confident in those more than any. The fourth one was still a mystery to him. Just like when it fell from the tower he was still unsure if there was more red or yellow in it. “Mistress, what of this target?” He asked as she then nodded and answered him.

“You let it go Serrif.” She said rather plainly as she knew this would provoke a response. She knew there were equal parts of red and yellow…but did her.

“I couldn’t make a decision about it. Was I supposed to hit it or not?” He said sharpening his question some in hopes to get a more direct answer from her.

“You didn’t hit the target Serrif that is all that matters here. YOU decided the target was not to be marked so it wasn’t. That is all I have to say about that one.” As usual Ildin answered his question in a way to make him reflect inward on what had happened. They both knew that he had messed up on number six. He had marked it in the yellow a clear mistake on his behalf.

Maybe…just maybe the exercise was about being able to live with your decisions. What if the targets were people, red were guilty and yellow were innocent. If he hit a guilty but didn’t kill them or harmed an innocent in the progress could he live with that decision for the rest of his days? Was it better to let a guilty go and live to fight another day when he was sure he could kill them without harming innocents…he reflected and lost sense for what was around him…

Ildin saw easily that he was indeed beginning to see what this was about. She wasn’t simply teaching him archery; there were plenty that could teach a skill. But she was teaching a way to live. She was making him reflect and think about what he would and could do to those around him. All the pain he could end and all the lives he could claim. He had to know that his skills could do good or they could do harm. And that sometimes unless you really thought about what you did you could be doing harm in the name of good. Breaking your own morality and sending you down a very dark road that ended only with his life being sponged from this earth. Death was the great end all, he needed to understand the weight it brought with it.

“It isn’t about the targets Serrif…it is about your decisions. You must weigh each one carefully before you make them. Or you may end up doing harm in the name of good. While this can be acceptable at times you need to understand that you will have to live with yourself and your decisions.” She nodded to him and motioned that he was dismissed.

He continued to reflect, knowing what she said was true. Once he was off Mura he knew he would have to make decisions of life and death. And that those faces would be with him forever. He had sworn to himself to do good, but at what cost. How much of himself was he willing to sacrifice to the greater good? How much could he give before he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night? How much before his mind would form new nightmares based around these twisted new wrongdoings? He didn’t need more demons haunting his dreams, he didn’t need more things to fear because he already feared for his life and the lives of any that were near him. His every move would affect countless others…others that could love or hate him for his actions. He nodded knowing that he would have to live with himself and his actions every day as long as he lived. He needed to make the right decisions in his eyes. None else mattered.

by **Serrif Von Chatlyn** on November 28th, 2011, 2:05 am

Requests :

by **Archelon** on December 21st, 2011, 8:52 pm

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