[The Chapel] Evanesce (Veldrys)

[Xelhes]

"Thank you for understanding." That was all Xelhes said to Veldrys' words. He had expected Veldrys to drop the topic once the Ethaefal had shown his displeasure at it, and thankfully he had. However, there was more to it than just being scared of cutting himself. Every time he thought about it Xelhes could not help but feel that performing such an act would show that he preferred Viratas over Leth, which was the complete opposite. Leth was the one who had returned him to this world, in a way he was the parent of this form, and in that regard Xelhes would always be grateful to Leth; always owing the god this life. While the Ethaefal respected Viratas, thanks to Veldrys helping him understand the god, he still felt that praying in such a way might simply offend Leth.

During the Symenestra's lengthy pause, Xelhes remained completely silent, his shoulders tensing up for a moment before quickly relaxing. This was foolish, being worried. If the two stayed in contact with each other it was inevitable that Veldrys would learn of his age, and while the thought of having the man treat him completely different upset him Xelhes knew that he was only postponing the inevitable. In a voice that did not give way to any of the worry or doubt he felt, the Ethaefal said, "I am...young; younger than you and most in Denval. Also, don't worry about that. I know our bodies are deceptive of our age, I tend to forget it sometimes myself. Though I am glad, it looks like my words had some effect on you. Your apology, I mean...considering you seemed to be completely against them." With a chuckle the Ethaefal turned to Veldrys, giving the Symenestra that almost seemed to say 'caught you.'

Hearing that he had done a decent job caused the Ethaefal to let out a sigh of relief, worried that the line would have been unacceptable. Despite learning as much as he did about the Symenestra, the Viratassa was still a mystery to Xelhes, and those lines were the only pieces of it that he had. As he thought about Veldrys' offer to teach him some of the Symenestra language, Xelhes noticed the man seem to gaze past the Ethaefal, as if thinking back on a fond time, but did not say anything or disturb him. Though he had not spent a large amount of time with Veldrys, Xelhes had noticed that the Symenestra did not smile all that often and did not want to take the moment from him.

Xelhes nodded to Veldrys in the end, agreeing to learn Symenos, though not expecting to be able to do so easily. Even now he still did not have a perfect grasp on Common, being able to speak it well enough but when it came to writing, was limited in what he could do. Hearing Veldrys' words, the Ethaefal nodded, smiling, and said, "I will teach you what I can, though you will probably have to mesh what you learn from me and other Ethaefal to learn a great deal. You said your home had the herbs, correct? If so, then it would probably be best to go there. Then while you are showing me or telling me about different types of herbs and plants, I could answer your questions as well...Without other prying ears."

It was not that Xelhes did not mind telling others about the Ethaefal, but rather he worried someone would hear a part of what he said, and out of context, warp that into something horrid. Most people seemed to do that to the Symenestra, something Xelhes knew now more than before after Veldrys taught him about the culture. Thinking to himself quietly yet still paying attention to the outside world, Xelhes waited for Veldrys to lead the way, the Ethaefal still unsure of where the man lived exactly.

[Veldrys]

„Yes, my home has the herbs“, Veldrys confirmed. „I would also prefer to have this conversation without other people listening, I think.“ Veldrys‘ reason for wishing to talk about Ethaefal and Symenestra in private was a different one though. Of course he was a little worried that people might misunderstood them as well, but more than that he was worried that the things he was going to ask Xelhes would sound stupid and that they would begin to question his intelligence. He knew just enough about Ethaefal to be aware that he knew as good as nothing.

As he had said, his home was close to the Chapel. It only took them a few moments to reach the small building. „I know that it doesn’t look like much. I hope you don’t mind“, Veldrys remarked. To him the house looked like a miserable heap of stone, and he was a little ashamed of it. It certainly couldn’t compare to the hanging houses of Kalinor that were decorated with precious silk. Any human architecture paled in comparison to that.

„But please come in.“ He opened the door. Xelhes could see that the Symenestra’s home consisted of only one room. There were a bed, a table, two chairs and a couple of chests that were filled with his possessions. He could also see a hearth. Dried herbs hung from the ceiling, and Veldrys had decorated the walls with colourful cloth in an attempt to make the house look a little more like home. Most of the time he was glad that he had left Kalinor, but in moments like these he missed it. He didn’t think he would ever get used to a house that stood on the ground.

„Would you like anything to eat or drink before we begin? I have tea, and Syllke recently taught me how to make soup of seaweed. It tastes a little unusual, but not bad at all.“

[Xelhes]

Xelhes nodded when the Symenestra agreed to moving the conversation to a less public place, expected answer. Veldrys knew how bad people could become when they listened to rumors, and was probably just as aware of how people tended to warp things they that did not understand or care about. The last thing Xelhes wanted was someone saying horrible things about himself or Ethaefal in general; he did not want others to suddenly somehow think of them as monsters instead of divine beings, even if being considered divine was an annoyance. It was better to be loved instead of hated, he believed that now and probably forever. The Ethaefal never would have guessed the actual reason for the agreement was Veldrys worrying about his public image instead of trying to prevent rumors, the thought not even coming to mind.

As they walked to Veldrys' home the Ethaefal did not say anything, instead spending the time to look around and remember the path they were taking. As short of a walk as it was Xelhes wanted to make sure he at least remembered how to get to Veldrys' home, the Symenestra being able to see this easily as the Ethaefal continued to look everywhere. When they arrived Xelhes simply chuckled at the man's words, thinking that the Symenestra wasn't looking past the home's exterior. Since his fall the Ethaefal had slept in many places, mostly wherever he could fit, and out of the kindness of other's hearts. After those experiences and having a home of his own the Ethaefal could easily look past the appearance of any home, knowing that it was simply how comfortable and secure you were in the building that gauged whether it was good or not.

Bowing his head slightly when Veldrys allowed Xelhes to enter, the Ethaefal said, "Thank you. Do not worry, it looks fine. It reminds me of my own home to an extent." By that the Ethaefal meant the building's size more than anything, as Xelhes himself had only been able to get a home that was a small room but it served its purpose extremely well. Seeing what it looked like inside, the Ethaefal could not help but be reminded of his home even more, the single room with a few pieces of furniture almost the same as the Ethaefal's though the set up was completely different.

Taking a seat in one of the chairs, Xelhes nodded his head at the Symenestra's offer after a moment, saying "May I have a tea? Its been awhile since I had one, considering the constant mess I seem to make." It was embarrassing to think about it, but despite the Ethaefal's best efforts he seemed almost inept at making the stuff. While Veldrys began to set things up, the Ethaefal looked over at the herbs for a moment, thinking he recognized one but due to them being dried was not sure, knowing that when dried some plants changed their shade of color. "Why don't you ask one of your question first, Veldrys? Last time I asked first so it seems fair this way."

[Veldrys]

As Xelhes stated that the house reminded him of his own home, Veldrys‘ arched an eyebrow. „Oh? I don’t think I know where you live. I’d be most interested in seeing your place sometimes, if it is alright with you. After all you know where I live now.“ His gaze fell on a couple of papers that were lying on the table. He’d spent most of the previous evening going through his old notes, wondering whether he should continue his studies of magic or just let the whole thing be. He was afraid of losing his mind, but what if magic could save all the people that were dying?

With a sigh he put the papers away and let them disappear in a chest so that there would be room on the table. „Certainly“, he answered as Xelhes asked if he could have tea. He had just gotten water from the wall prior to leaving for the Chapel, and it was still relatively fresh. He filled it into a pot and then started a fire. Once that was done, he opened the cupboard and retrieved a small metal box that contained tea.

„It’s a special mixture of healing herbs that I created myyelf“, he explained. „I’m not sure if Ethaefal can fall ill, but I’ve found that it helps Symenestra and humans, especially during the cold season. I also have sugar and honey somewhere if you want to sweeten your tea.“ He put to small containers on the table in front of Xelhes.

„I think I would like to know if Ethaefal ever fall ill“, he decided as Xelhes told him that he could ask a question first. „As a doctor such things interest me especially. Have you ever had a cold since you’ve fallen from the stars, Xelhes? If you do fall ill while you are human, are you still ill when you change?“

[Xelhes]

Having Veldrys ask to see his house surprised the Ethaefal a little, Xelhes having not even thought about it. "Sure, just make sure to give me a warning so I have time to clean it and buy some food or drinks." He said, slightly embarrassed at not having offered before though knowing that the idea would have dawned on him in the end. Getting food or beverages for drinks was the main thing Xelhes worried about as his Ethaefal form did not require those things so he simply waited until his mortal form did; besides, he had never had a guest over before.

The papers were something Xelhes avoided looking at, not wanting to pry into the Symenestra's personal life. Thought he viewed the other man as a friend he had no desire to get tangled up in his world, not when the Ethaefal's could become complicated at any moment; sometimes distance and ignorance was the best policy for one to follow. Hearing Veldrys say the tea was a special mixture he made himself partially worried the Ethaefal. What if he did not like it and had to drink the entire cup, or more? He was a guest in Veldrys' home and knew that it would be rude not to finish the drink, but if it tasted horrible or extremely bitter...

The question asked was not a surprising one, considering what Veldrys said while he was brewing the tea, yet it still made Xelhes think. He had never really thought about it before and was worried that his answer would be false, given his current form. While he was confident he could answer most questions the Symenestra had Xelhes still worried that without being in his Ethaefal form he may forget some details.

Looking at the containers for a moment with a curious look, he answered with, "I cannot even give an exact answer on that. I know once I ate some bad meat that I failed to cook right and threw up a few times, but aside from that I have never had anything really that could count as an illness. The only time I may have been truly ill would have been when I fell to this world, but my memories of that time are all but gone."

The day he fell, as well as the ones after, were a total blur or completely blank. So much had happened in that small time that the Ethaefal had no real way of sifting through the mess and now the memories themselves were simply gone. Once he finished answering Xelhes pointed towards one of the dried herbs, politely saying, " If you want you can ask me another question...but only after you tell me about that herb. Sound fair?"

The herb looked familiar to Xelhes, but he still could not be sure as it was only extremely common herbs that he was familiar with. He wanted Veldrys to keep asking him questions in order to make it so they both knew an equal amount about each others' culture, however, he worried the Symenestra would ask a specific question. It was the most touchy subject for Xelhes and the thing he hated most about his body, viewing it as a curse the Ethaefal were forced to bear. Time.

[Veldrys]

„Of course“, the Symenestra replied. „I wouldn’t visit you without announcing my intention first. As for food …“ He furrowed his brow, wondering if he had ever mentioned Symenestra eating habits to Xelhes. Probably not, otherwise the other man would likely not have mentioned anything about buying food beforehand. „… don’t worry about it. I don’t eat a lot. A soft fruit or two are all I need.“ He didn’t want to be in a situation where he was served meat and vegetables and had to decline, but neither was he in the mood to let Xelhes know that one of his favourite dishes contained a lot of blood and garlic on top of it. By now he was well aware of how surface dwellers reacted to that.

„Bad meat would make anybody sick“, he remarked. It would probably even make Symenestra who were used to eating strange things sick. „But apart from that …“ He considered Xelhes‘ answer again. „Ethaefal seem to be more resilient than Symenestra. Do you have any idea what keeps you from falling ill? Is it that connection to the divine that you still maintain on some level?“ Xelhes could see that the Symenestra was very fascinated. His eyes shimmered, and there was a light smile on his face.

„Yes, of course“, he replied as Xelhes asked him about one of his dried herbs. „This is Arnica. It is used to cure wounds. I usually make a tincture from the flowers.“ As he said this, he noticed that the water was already boiling. He filled it into two cups and then added the tea to it. „The tea contains mostly thyme and fennel“, he explained. „As I said before it helps if you have a cold, and it doesn’t taste too bad either.“

[Xelhes]

Veldrys saying all he would eat was a few soft fruit made the Ethaefal sigh, the situation still the same. It did not matter if he ate one or twenty, it was more that the Ethaefal simply did not stock up on perishable foods often as he did not need them to the same extent as everyone else. Still, it was a helpful reply as it gave Xelhes an idea on what to get for a meal should the Symenestra ever come over. The fact that it was a fruit also would save the Ethaefal a large amount of grief and embarrassment; regardless of how hard he tried cooking even the most basic of things was nearly impossible for the man, and ruining a meal while a guest was over would simply upset him.

"True, bad meat would make almost anyone sick, but that is the only memory I have of being even remotely ill." Xelhes said, remembering how horrible he felt as the meat forced its way back it. It was then that he remembered the other time he had felt ill, quickly and quietly saying, "The only other time that I can thing of is when you used your gnosis. Those are the only two times." Veldrys' gnosis had made him far sicker than the meat had, and even though the moment had past the Ethaefal wished it had never happened; despite how fleeting the sickness was, the feeling was excruciating. As the Symenestra asked more questions Xelhes thought hard on trying to come up with an answer, noticing the look in the other man's eyes. Seeing the fascination in Veldrys' eyes made the Ethaefal nervous and worried, the constant thought of giving an unsatisfying answer being the cause for this.

Taking a slow breath in, the Ethaefal said, "I cannot say for sure what keeps my body from getting ill, but I do think it has something to do with this body and the Ethaefal form it possess. Our Ethaefal forms are dim fragments of what we once were; a fraction of the beauty and status we once possessed you could say. That divine form may be the thing that prevents me from becoming ill." It was also the thing that most likely kept him forever frozen in this body as well, but Xelhes did not give a hint towards that. Veldrys had already spoken with other Ethaefal and Xelhes could only hope they had already told him about the ageless power their bodies possessed.

He listened while Veldrys gave a brief explanation of the plant, taking note to remember how it looked while the Symenestra finished making the tea. After a few second more of observation he noticed that most of the herbs did look familiar to him, though it was more their general shape and colors that stirred the thought that he had seen them before. It was only now, looking at the finished tea, that Xelhes realised the stuff would be far too hot to drink for quite a few minutes and began to try and think of something else to ask. With a distinctly thoughtful pause the Ethaefal asked, "...You said the tea contains mostly thyme and fennel, but what else is in it? Are the other ingredients used mainly for taste and smell, or for the medicinal benefits that they possess?" A poor question indeed, yet it was all Xelhes could come up with at the time. Thinking for another moment the idea dawned on Xelhes on what he should ask next, the Ethaefal silently waiting for Veldrys to state his next question, and answer.

[Veldrys]

„I envy you“, Veldrys said. His amethyst eyes were wide with fascination now. „It must be wonderful never to fall ill, never to have as much as a simple cold. Do you think you would get pneumonia if you didn’t wear warm clothes in winter?“ Veldrys strongly disliked being ill. He hated being weak. He hated suffering from a fever and coughing and not being able to accomplish as much as he normally did. Did Xelhes realize how blessed he was? He, Veldrys, would give anything not to be bothered by all those annyoing things anymore.

„Dim fragments?“ he repeated and shook his head. „I’ve never seen anybody more beautiful than an Ethaefal. If your Ethaefal form is but a dim fragment of what you once were, what did you look like when you lived in the Ukalas? Do you remember?“ He could hardly look at the fallen ones sometimes. His heart beat faster sometimes when he was near them. There was something strangely attractive about them. In his opinion no mortal could ever compare to them. If they already had such an effect on him now, what would happen if he ever saw an Ethaefal in his celestial form? Would he go blind then? Would he lose his mind?

He nodded as Xelhes confirmed that his connection to the divine prevented him from becoming ill. „I thought so“, he remarked, suddenly wishing he had not called Ethaefal beautiful. He remembered that Xelhes didn’t like it if somebody called him special, if people treated him differently because of what he was and what he looked like. As far as he remembered Xelhes wanted to be treated just like any other man. He averted his gaze and was very busy with the tea for a moment. It was done now. It had just the right color.

„I just add a few spices for taste and smell, but nothing that has medicinal benefits“, he answered. „Please try it and tell me if my tea is good.“ He put a cup in front of the Ethaefal. „I think I’ve already asked my next question. Do you remember anything from before? Or does it hurt too much to think of the Ukalas?“

[Xelhes]

"Yes...wonderful." The Ethaefal's tone was not one of anger or sadness, instead it had a hint of the internal conflict he had towards the situation. He hated the very few times he had been sick, it was an awful experience, yet he also 'missed' the times he was ill in his past life. As far as Xelhes was concerned not becoming ill simply showed how he was no longer human; no longer mortal in the way that he wished to be. A shrug was all he could offer to Veldrys' question on getting pneumonia as Xelhes had no idea and would only know if he tried to catch it, something that he was not particularly fond of trying.

Talk of the beauty the Ethaefal's possessed and the Ukalas made Xelhes look down for a moment, uncomfortable about the topic. We're they really that beautiful in the eyes of others? Looking back up as the man finished the tea and set it before Xelhes the Ethaefal could not help but to questionably ask, "Just a few spices?" Taking a sip, the bitterness struck, though it was far better than Xelhes had anticipated. Adding a small amount of honey and sugar, the Ethaefal looked back up at Veldrys, a small smile on his face as he said, "It is fine, however I prefer sweet things. I am probably not the best person to judge the tea, but it is good as far as tea goes...the after taste is rather nice as well."

Having prolonged the answer long enough, Xelhes sighed and said, "Leth's realm...I do remember it, but it is not something I can explain; not in words and the memories are difficult to comprehend in this form. I do not mean to make this sound pompous but...there is nothing I have seen in the mortal world that could be used as a reference point towards how we Ethaefal once were." Xelhes knew the statement probably sounded rude, as if the Ethaefal were above everything else in this world, but the words were true; never had he seen something in this world that could compare to the beauty he and the others once possessed.

In a hushed voice, one that seemed almost laced with embarrassment, the Ethaefal whisper, "Maybe sometime after your gnosis works correctly again I could show you. I cannot guarantee the memories will help, they may just cause more questions, but I am fine with you seeing them." His mortal mind could not comprehend the divine realm well, and Xelhes doubted Veldrys would fare better, yet still he wanted someone to know what he once was; to let others know that the Ethaefal truly were but shadows of the beings they once were. More so, he wanted another to know his pain, to see the world he had lost. It did hurt to think back on his time in Leth's realm, but the pain was a fraction of what it had once been.

With the offer set out, Xelhes took another sip of the tea, enjoying it far more this time with the extra sweetness. "Instead of a question, could I request you read me another part of the Viratassa? I am not picky on what it is, just some part of it would be appreciated." No matter how much Xelhes wanted to learn more about Viratas and the Symenestra on his own, Veldrys was the only connection he really had to either; Veldrys was a Symenestra and the Viratas was written in their language, making it impossible for Xelhes to even attempt to read.

[Veldrys]

Veldrys furrowed his brow as he heard Xelhes‘ words. It seemed to him as if the Ethaefal didn’t appreciate the fact that he could not fall ill anymore. That was strange. Was he not happy? To Veldrys everything about Xelhes‘ life seemed desirable. To possess nearly otherworldly beauty, to never have as much as a runny nose, it was so much better than the cursed existence he was forced to live, but then again, he had never fallen from the sky.

„If it’s not sweet enough, you can add more honey“, Veldrys suggested and shook his head. „What do you mean, Xelhes? Is there nothing as beautiful as the Ukalas here, in this world? Or is the place where you come from simply so different from Mizahar that there are no words in the Common language to describe it?“ Despite what Xelhes thought, the Symenestra didn’t consider his words rude. They only increased his fascination.

As he heard the Ethaefal’s whisper, his eyes widened. „I would love to see your memories“, he replied. „It would be an honor.“ He didn’t think there was anybody in Denval or in all of Kalea that had gotten a glimpse of the Ukalas without being a fallen one. „When it’s safe to use my gnosis“, he added. What could he give Xelhes in exchange for such a gift? He had never been in Leth’s and Syna’s realm. He could only tell stories about a city in a cave and a single meeting with Viratas. He didn’t have anything that was worth as much.

„Yes, of course. Please wait a moment while I get the book.“ He rose from the chair and walked over to his bed where a chest stood. The Viratassa was wrapped in a piece of cloth to protect it. The book hadn’t been particularly expensive – some Symenestra possessed books that were decorated with gold and jewels – but it was still a holy book, and thus Veldrys considered it inappropriate to just let it lie around somewhere.

„I’ll read a bit first, and then I’ll translate it for you“, he said. „I think it’s best if we do it this way.“

With that he began to read. Veldrys‘ voice sounded different when he was speaking his native language, a little deeper. Symenos was beautiful, entrancing. There was a nearly otherworldly quality about it. The way Veldrys read the holy words, they sounded almost like a song. There was an almost hypnotizing quality about them.