What almost was... (Solo)

by **Naila** on January 22nd, 2012, 8:57 am

3rd of Winter 511 AV

"Avalis!" Naila's cry sounded within her cottage as she arched her back on her sleeping mat. Cold shudders racked her body as she clutched tightly to her cloak, holding onto it as if for support. Her breaths came in shallow gasps, and her face was flushed with fever. When her eyes opened they stared off at nothing, the pupils dilated to great orbs of black that spoke of pain and anguish.

Another cry escaped the girls pale lips as another spasm shook her thin frame. Naila curled herself into a tight ball, pulling her knees close to her chest and squeezing her eyes to the pain. It was as if every nerve in her body was on fire, sending random spikes of pain coursing through her veins. Her heart fluttered, and the girl worried that it might stop if the episode did not end soon...

Sweat fell in rivets down her naked form, and despite her shivers Naila felt as if her skin were an inferno. In her mind thoughts swirled in random patterns, flowing into a chaotic maelstrom that possessed to rhyme or reason. Visions flooded Naila's sight, pictures of pasts that were not her own flowed smoothly into her own fevered dreams, creating a delusion that was at once of her conscious and not.

For what seemed like hours, Naila felt wave after wave of suffering wash over her. At one point she became sick, letting go of her dinner to the side of her mat. As time ticked and the night grew long, Naila's thoughts began to twist with exhaustion and fevered delusions...

I can't... N-no... I-its too much... Growning, Naila slowly sat up, casting off her cloak to expose her bare form to the world. Shivering, she rang her fingers through her tangled hair dripping with sweat, I cannot go on... This pain... it is too much... Opening her eyes, Naila turned her gaze to the front of her cottage, to the table by the door and to the knife sitting at the edge...

A gasp tore from her lips as she doubled over, clutching at her stomach as another wave of sickness threatened to force its way from her throat. Naila placed a hand over her mouth, closing her eyes to force down the wave of nausea and to ward off the dizziness that sent the room spinning. Slowly the moment passed and the girl was able to open her eyes once more. Those pale orbs passed over the knife once more...

With a grown Naila stood to her feet, using the wall as support, but her legs would not hold her. Falling once more to her knees, Naila shuddered and braced her hands on the ground, closing her eyes as another wave of pain washed over her, obliterating all sense of the world. Tears fell freely from her eyes as she gasped and wished the pain away, but her cries were met with a cold silence.

No more... No more! Falling forward onto her elbows, Naila looked up at the table once more, her eyes on the knife. Sobs shook her shoulders as the girl slowly began to crawl, pulling her limp form across the floor. As new waves of sickness hit her the girl would stop, planting her forehead on the ground and waiting for the next second of calm. Tears stained her cheeks and sweat clung to her form as she made her slow journey, a picture of desperation and hopelessness...

The table soon loomed over her, and Naila looked up at the daunting height. After a fit of coughing sent flecks of blood onto her palm, Naila reached up and grabbed ahold of the chair, pulling with what strength she had left and fixing her trembling legs beneath her, coming to a half stand. A hand found the edge of the table, and with its support Naila was able to straighten slightly. The knife was there... its edge reflecting the light of the moon from the near by window.

Perhaps... It would be better... t-to end it now... A sob broke through and fresh tears fell from her eyes as she reached for the knife, touching its rough wooden handle, I could silence the whispers... I would not feel this... I would no longer be cursed with this weak body... Her fingers tighten around the wood, lifting the blade to her eyes. The girl's hand trembled as she saw her own eyes reflected in the metal, saw the look of desperation there...

But... there was something else. Blinking, there was a soft glow reflected, and Naila's eyes were brought up. There... beneath the window was the lily... Its petals shown with a soft glow in the moonlight. Naila's body shook as she looked at the plant, a new feeling welling up from within her soul... Mother...

The knife fell from numb fingers, and the girl soon followed the blade. The cold ground was unyielding to the thin framed girl, and a sharp pain resonated up her shoulder as she hit. That pain shook the fog from Naila's mind, and horror began to fall upon the girl's mind at what she had almost done.

I-I... was really going to... The girls hands came up to cover her face, and Naila curled up into a ball next to the knife that had almost ended it all...

As the silver moon began to sink below the horizon, Naila fell into another fevered sleep, but this one was filled with images of cold steel and blood... and fear of what had almost been...

by **Cachet** on January 29th, 2012, 10:44 pm

Naila :

Anything seem out of place? Any questions please feel free to contact me ASAP.