20th of Winter, 511 AV
After the Parade; Amid the Celebrations
Packs of revelers continued to throng the banks of the estuary long after the last parade boat faded from view. Cheers of adoration for the glittering procession became cheers of mirth as those present turned their attention to feasting and games. Merchants from the Pavilion market had already erected gaily-colored stalls on the shore, peddling both the bounty of the House of the West Winds and sweet confections in the shape of swans or Cheva's Rose. Beer flowed freely, as did imported wines, and skewered fish and eel sizzled over newly-dug firepits. The aroma of drink and cooking food mingled with the scent of sea winds, baking sand, perfume, and the tantalizing musk of Eypharian bodies; the heady smell engulfed Faroul as he drifted through the crowd. Though instinct drove him to note all he passed, his thoughts floated with recollections of his youth and an Ahnatep two decades gone.
He had delighted in these celebrations, once. Naked to the waist, oiled and adorned in the colors of their House, he and his fellow guardsmen had gathered to ensure that the West Winds' vessel received the loudest hurrahs. They had hooted and strutted and guzzled enough beer to fill the Eye of Syna, all the while fancying that young women admired them. Between quaffs and jests they'd shared their brightest dreams: hopes that Cheva would bless them with passionate loves and advantaged marriages, that they'd rise to command armies and resurrect Ahnatep's ancient triumphs, or that one day they would set foot in the Pressor's glimmering court. Youth was fire under their skin, the future limitless, and the pageants of the Swan Parade a promise.
But it had not come to pass. The future had delivered him condemnation instead.
Now he felt like a ghost as he passed through the revels, a being unmoored from time. Though some terrible miracle had returned him here, into the light, he was no longer part of this place, these people, or their joys. Hai had riven him, and the sliver that survived was estranged and alien, an aberrant shadow loose from the pit where toppling glories had cast him. He did not – and would never again – belong.
As if in recognition of this, or perhaps only his Benshira heritage, no one disturbed his wanderings. Six-limbed partyers laden with food gave him wide berth as they returned to their mats, and only the boldest of young men allowed their gazes to linger for more than a glance. Adolescent lovers chased each other in giggling circles and breathlessly exchanged tokens, ignorant of his presence; longtime spouses joined hands and renewed their marriage vows. Kissing games and dice rolls proceeded around him no matter where he walked, and whispered assignations for amorous rendezvous were made without a care that he might hear. The only people to address him were two impetuous children, who cried out “Chupra! Chupra!” and shrieked with laughter at their own audacity. Their mother eyed him with a parent's intuition for danger even as she berated them.
He told himself he felt nothing.
In time, his meandering carried him to an outer strand with a wider view of the estuary and distant sea. Groups of revelers yet lingered, but a few extinguished bonfires, still exuding fingers of smoke, had been abandoned in favor of the coming evening's plays. Stepping aside to avoid hot ashes, his foot brushed against a discarded swan egg, half-covered in sand. Bending to pick it up, he brushed the granules from its pale surface. Cracks laced across it in numerous places – some admirer had thrown it at the feet of someone fancied – and cloying perfume leaked from the hollowed-out inside onto his fingers.
The image stung him. It unstoppered too many memories of sweethearts chased and won and lost, of boon companions embraced and now vanished, of hopes transmuted into despair. How had he failed to see it? Ahnatep was too full of beautiful things made midden. Just as the city itself propped marble and plaster on top of ruin and called it grandeur, the ladders of the elite perched on mortal detritus. Lives and dreams made to be used, broken as easily as eggs.
His own life. His queen's.
Dimourla.
The eggshell crunched as his fingers tightened. Gritting his teeth, he leaned back and hucked the swan's egg out over the waters. As it whistled through the air, a prayer followed, though one directed to no god. It was a simple wish, cast through the veil of years: Live.
He watched it for long moments as it bobbed among the waves.
“That's odd,” a jaunty voice said in Common. “I thought you were supposed to throw those at the feet of a beautiful woman.”
Startled, Faroul gripped his khopesh, whirling to find a young Eypharian man not five paces away. The boy raised tanned palms in surrender, surprised to be greeted with aggression, though the curiosity in his pale green eyes remained undimmed.
“Ah-ha, sorry! Didn't mean to sneak up on you. I just couldn't help noticing.” He nodded towards the floating egg with an apologetic smile. “Is the festival not to your taste? Or... have you lost someone at sea?”
The Benshira blinked, releasing his weapon. He studied the Eypharian with wary interest, eyes picking at the details of his expression. “Lost, yes. At sea? … I don't know. How did you guess?”
“It's a tradition in some places, to cast offerings into the water for the departed.” The boy regarded the ocean with an unexpected sobriety. “Laviku carry your prayers.”
Little chance of that, Faroul thought. The gods are never so kind. But he inclined his head in an imitation of gratitude anyway; something about the boy was too familiar to dismiss, though he could not place it.
“I'm Rezon,” the youth grinned, not to be deterred by unfortunate topics for long. “And you?”
“Emed,” he lied.