Carindir Steelhand Coglias

[Carindir]

Carindir Steelhand Coglias Physical Description Name: Carindir Steelhand Coglias Race: Isur Age: 91 (As of the 5th of Winter 511 A.V.) Birthday: 421 A.V. 15th of Winter. Carindir is Five feet tall as all Isur are and weighs varying from 250lbs - 255lbs even with his weight he can be somewhat acrobatic, and being in the Coglias clan he has a emerald left arm and a muscular build. Hes skin is extremely pale blue with silver veins, he is bald but has a dark blue tinted full goatee, groomed and cut so it is only around his mouth and on his chin. Not going up his cheek. He is marked with the Izentor level One causing a elaborate tattoo on his right shoulder. Character Concept Personality: Carindir has a bit of a short temper, around his Isur kind he lets some things go without becoming angry, but with other races he lets nothing go by him unnoticed and not dealt with. Apart from his short temper he can be friendly and always boasts about his blacksmithing skills even though he his just competent. Character History Carindir was born in sultros to the Coglias clan, his mother died at the hand of bandits causing his father to grief and using his work: Blacksmithing to try and mend the wound some, he also brought his son Carindir under his wing teaching him the basics of it when he was in his childhood. When Carindir entered his Adolescence he received the first mark of the Izentor his father was proud of him, and took him in as a apprentice when Carindir requested it, his father said that. When i leave you will take over the smith. Leave? He didn't say why he would leave, until when Carindir was almost old enough to take over. He said he heard story's of Black Rock and wanted to find the spirit of his wife, Carindir understood this. His father left and gave Carindor his battle axe and left the smith in his hands, he took care of the blacksmith fairly well. But when his father disappeared he wanted to know where he went, so he bought the things he would need to survive and went into the wilds, following his father. He is however making poor progress still in the wilderness near sultros. Possessions Set(S) of Clothing (cloak/coat & footwear included) -Flaxen Shirt -Flaxen Pants -Simple Undergarments -Jacket, Fur -Simple Boots Weapons/Armor: -Crossbow, Repeating -Sword, Short -Shield, Retractable Wooden -Spiked Gauntlets -Two Repeating Crossbow Clips. -Slender Chainmail Shirt. 1 Waterskin 1 Backpack which contains: -Comb (Wood) -Brush (Wood) -Soap -Razor -Food is given out Daily -1 eating knife -Flint & Steel -Tent, One person -Jacket, Fur Heirloom: His fathers battleaxe. Giant 48-1/2" Stainless Steel Head with black finish, sharp. Overall Length: 48-1/2". Blade length 17". Head Width: 11". Handle: Hardwood, Faux Leather Wrapped. Housing: Tent, One person. Ledger Purchase Cost Total Starting +100 GM 100 GM House Cash-In +500 GM 600 GM Crossbow, Repeating -250 GM 350 Slender Chainmail Shirt -120 GM 230 GM Gauntlets, Spiked -5 GM 225 GM Shield, Retractable Wooden -15 GM 210 GM Sword, Short -10 GM 200 GM Tent, One person -2 GM 198 GM Crossbow, Repeating Clip -1 GM 197 GM Crossbow, Repeating Clip -1 GM 196 GM Jacket, Fur -50 GM 146 GM Skills, Lores, Magics, Gnosis, Languages Skills: Skill SP/RB/Received XP Proficiency Sword, Short SP 3 Novice Duel Wield SP 5 Novice Weapon, Repeating SP 5 Novice Weapon, Battleaxe SP 26 Competent Blacksmithing RB, SP 26 Competent Fluent Language: Basic Language: Common Poor Language: X Helpful Lores: (Pick 2) Lore of Weaponry Lore of Armor Thread List Winter 511: (Flashback) Encountering Danger: http://www.mizahar.com/forums/post153925.html#p153925

[Claymore]

Liaison intervention

First of all: Welcome to Mizahar, I hope you'll enjoy your time here and RP to your delight. I'm Claymore and I'll be assisting you in creating a Character Sheet. I noticed a few mistakes and will help you to fix them .

Things to be fixed

 

Age

Your birthdate is wrong. It's Spring 512 AV and in order to be 91 you would have to be born in Spring 421 AV or earlier.

 

Skills

You cannot start with skills with less then 5 points in it. Please allocate 2 more skillpoints in Weapon(Short Sword) or allocate these to other skills.

Additionally you cannot have dualwield until you have the skill in the weapon of choice you want to dualwield at 30 at least. Don't forget that if you wish to dualwield a shortsword and a battleaxe together, you would need to have both at 30 at least.

You currently have 65 skillpoints. As an Isur you start with +10 in blacksmithing and 50 SP from the starterpackage, please remove 5 points.

 

Lore

Your lores are confusing. Lore of weaponry would seem like it would fall under the skill Weaponry.
Lore of armor is something I cannot understand at all, please elaborate on this.

 

Minor Notes

These do not require real fixing, but I do suggest you look at it.
The coglias clan is known as the traditional protector of the Isur. This means that they usually work as a fighter. Smithing is usually taken care of by the Terras clan. So your history seems a little confusing. It would make me believe that he was more of a Terras then a Coglias.

In your skill list, you stated the weapon: Repeating, I think you meant Weapon (Repeating Crossbow). It's probably just a typo, but please look at it.
Another typo is Duel wield, which should be Dual wield.

If you choose not to start with a language at Poor, you can remove this sentence as to clean up your CS.

Please make the changes I've noted above, and send me a Private Message. Upon receiving your message, and reviewing your changes, I will remove the Intervention. Thank you for coming to Mizahar, and I hope you enjoy writing here.

Claymore