[PC Plotnotes] Pash'nar

[Pash'nar]

Overarching Goal To find his place—be it in this world or the next. Pash'nar just wants to find a sense of purpose and belonging or at least finally feel at home. He'd like to know whether to consider his fall to Mizahar as a punishment or an accident, whether to seek forgiveness, work toward healing, or exact some kind of vengeance. While trapped in this unwanted but strangely interesting earthbound state, he's driven to push himself to the limits of his now-mortal existence. If he's stuck here, he might as well make the most of it, to delve into depths of himself and Mizahar to see what he can see, all with the underlying hope that reaching for the edges of this life will lead to answers about his previous lives as well as the next. Obvious Conflicts First, at this point in his current form of existence, Pash isn't willing to accept that he may never really figure out what exactly he's seeking, that his fall back to mortality was neither a gift nor a punishment. Even if there is a path to such knowledge, he may end up destroying himself on the journey before ever finding an answer. Second, and perhaps most glaring of conflicts, is that he has no definition of the home or the place he's trying to seek. The obvious would be the Ukalas, but it's sundered and broken and mortally unattainable. It's also a place he's either been rejected from or accidentally lost from or possibly even escaped from. He doesn't know. He can't remember. Mizahar, the world he finds himself tossed back into, is just as sundered and broken, though much more accessible and present. It's the present part that he stumbles over, though it's the past (the eternal past, in a sense) that haunts his every decision. Pash only has someone else's body and fragments of someone else's memory to filter his Mizahar experience through—he washed ashore as a man without a history of his own. He must define (or redefine) himself in his earthbound existence. Penultimate Goal This need for definition is the fuel to his adventurous spirit, and his personal choice to seek something (anything) has led to his (current) penultimate goal: to see the rift for himself. Pash is perhaps best described as a hands-on learner. Clinging only to the faint fragments of memory, he is a student of life in the most visceral sense. He has no solution for his perceived problem, only a burning desire to see and to touch. He's convinced that if he were to see that he would at last understand, at last accept, at last move forward. The conflicts abound here: is there a rift at all? How does one even venture near it, considering one was exiled from it already? What will it matter anyway? Will it ever really quench the cold fire of his heart? Pash'nar's curiosity is insatiable and misguided. Underlying all that he does, all of his choices, is a current of dissatisfaction and disappointment. Something deep inside him cries, "Is this it? Is this all? Was I not destined for more?" He is doomed to seek forever, to scour Mizahar as a wanderer and sea flotsam, unless he is willing to look within. That is the true adventure … but he doesn't quite know it yet.

[Pash'nar]

Constant Traits (+) ADVENTUROUS Despite being forcefully ripped from immortality and unceremoniously dumped into the sea on Mihazar, Pash has a remarkably positive and almost thrill-seeking outlook on his situation. Everything is new, though some things tingle with uncanny familiarity and uncomfortably real dreams whisper of at least one former life. His desire to understand his circumstance has overgrown the narrow confines of a mere curiosity to become an adrenaline-filled wanderlust and an unquenchable thirst for adventure. Whatever Pash is looking for (though he's not sure himself at the moment) has quite literally become the journey and not just the destination. He genuinely revels in the experience, often tipping the scales toward a naive sort of hedonism, though his precociousness is perhaps a bit more tempered than when he first washed ashore after his fall. He has a penchant for the high stakes of things, be it drinking, sailing, fighting, or even reaching for the edges of his own consciousness. If there's a risk of something more, Pash wants a piece of it in the hopes that he can discover answers in the midst of the moment. (–) RECKLESS Unfortunately, his sense of adventure is often a source of trouble, for Pash does not yet possess (or perhaps has so far failed to see the true point in acquiring) a sense of personal caution. Once immortal, now bound to a life he did not choose, his desire to know and experience things has a wild, strangely feral presence in his personality. Consequences are not his first consideration, if he considers them at all when he takes a moment to make a decision. There is no half-heartedness in his choices in life—Pash is either all hands on deck or overboard. This recklessness is both physical and emotional--the rawness of his earthbound form allowing him to live life without the need or desire for a filter. While this sort of abandon isn't always an entirely self-destructive personality quirk, it has led to broken bones, aching hearts, and sore egos on more than one occasion. Pash can come across as impatient, rude, and aloof despite any true desire for knowledge, peace, or companionship, though his adventurous spirit has yet to be truly broken. While it's not usually his first response to situations, his lack of self-concern means he has very little qualms against violence. It's not that he doesn't value life, but his perspective on such things as death and pain and even time have been warped by the memories of his life beyond the flesh he's now bound to once again. His wildness can be even more accentuated when night falls, especially under the full moon. The otherworldliness of his race is made that much more strange by his careless abandon. Occasionally unpredictable and always fiery, Pash often finds himself above his head when Leth's whole gaze is upon him. Situational Traits (+) GENUINE Pash may have willingly allowed himself to be swept up into the often dubious and barely legal life of sea-faring trade (and crime). His choices may not have always fallen into the good category of morality, but they have always been his. Almost in defiance of his begrudged return to Mihazar, Pash strives to be himself—as much of himself as he knows how to be, that is (which is admittedly sometimes very little). He is more often honest than not, for he's found that when surrounded by cutthroats and scalawags, the truth is still a weapon to be wielded well. He may be more than just a little feral in his own way, having been tossed into a world instead of brought up in it, but it's in his passionate pursuit to find a purpose that he somehow unwittingly manages to let glimpses of who he may really be shine through the veil of his earthbound seeming. (–) BROODING Passionate and driven to extremes, Pash is inevitably prone to severe and heavy swings in personality. His lust for adventure is often a recipe for trouble, and his way of dealing with reality usually ends in some form of disappointment or difficulty, prompting abrupt withdrawal from the entire situation. When the pendulum of his demeanor swings in this opposite direction, he can be extremely dark in his brooding. His recklessness is often just another means of experiencing something—anything—even if it is harmful in nature. When Leth hides his face in the form of a moonless sky, the inkiest reaches of Pash's own personality can wash to the surface like some oily black tide.

[Pash'nar]

Current Character Goals ⚓ Under Construction ➳ Time to figure this out again OOC Goals for Pash to Realize ☠ Back to the drawing board ➳ Hmm

[Pash'nar]

To Do List ➳ Meet people. Duh. ➳ Write some solos to build up some skillz. ➳ Find a job on board a ship of some kind ➳ Find a teacher for magic(s)

[Pash'nar]

Solo Flashback Skill Building Outlines ➳ Part One: Awake Yet Adrift (first moments) Pash is "rescued" (read: found) by fishermen in Matthews Bay A family takes him in, though they don't understand each other at first He gets taken out fishing (fishing) The boat he's on gets lost at night (sailing, navigation) Pash guides them home ➳ Part Two: Remembering the Sea (Svefra memories) Pash dreams of the life of his earthbound form Compile 2-3 dreams (sailing, fighting, drinking) Pash experiences discrimination as a Svefra by day in town (Zeltiva) Drinking & fighting (brawling) ➳ Part Three: Can't Lose What You Don't Have (early misadventures) Flashbacks with friends! TBW … plus, I'm sure I'll come up with more.