Spring 42nd, 512AV Crimson Edge Camp Hunched over, Ana sat inside the tent contemplating thoughts of perhaps suicide. What had happened last night was unspeakable, she couldn't believe she had went that far just to learn.. Gripping her head in her hands, shoulders trembling and feeling her body flood with heat. The small woman had liked it though, deep down, loved it even- but it hadn't been her... Not really, it was the alter ego she had conjured up on a whim, it had grown immensly from stressful situations, and was now becoming a force Ana was scared of. To be reckoned with, her body had moved on its own, her thoughts had not been her own and her actions were not her own and yet everything she had done was exactly Ana. Sniffing, she had been sitting in the tent for awhile.. Before Wren even returned to the tent, she was waiting for him... But she had wanted to think her thoughts before he did so. Inhaling she straightened up, shutting her eyes as images flooded her mind.. Placing a palm on her face, she grimaced then began to grind her teeth to push the thoughts out. Exhaling, she let the stress fade.. In hopes of bringing Motif up once more, but she couldn't.. This situation just.. She couldn't make herself stressed when she didn't know what the trigger was exactly. Motif just seemed to pop up when Ana was in danger, and becoming stressed by her agressor. Other times the string puller seemed to brush under Anas subconscience when there was trouble nearby, she was only beginning to realize that the bells and whistles, the alarms, warnings were Motifs doing. To protect her? Ana wasn't quite so sure.. The persona seemed to be more reckless than herself, she thought darkly at the moments where Motif had exhibited such moments with her patient and calculative thoughts. Shuddering at the prospect of those possible deaths, would things have gone different if she was in control and not Motif? The thought was unnerving.. Hanging her head she rubbed her temples, only to straighten back up to lay on the ground boredly. Looking at the tents flap, she could be making herself useful right now.. But she didn't want to hang around outside with the others at the campfire to be teased, blushing and glaring at the thoughts, she was certain Motif wasn't as quiet as she should have been "AGHH!" Ana let out in exhasperation, choking the small scream off as quick as she could, writhing at the images, gripping her face then her hair and pulling. Rolling onto her front and trying to push her head into the ground, the images kept teasing her, subconsciencly Motif was just being a bitch and causing more problems for Ana by playing with her. Taking deep breaths, she had to calm, had to. Blushing she focused her thoughts elsewhere as she stayed in the strange, knelt over, bent position with her head pressed to the ground and her hands gripping chunks of her hair. Shaking from the intense moment of trying to forget something, it took a bit but she calmed down and focused her thoughts on the promised lesson.... The lesson she had better petching well earned after that incident. Grumbling to herself as she layed on her front somewhat exhaustively, wondering what exactly Wren or Shroud would teach her.. The 43rd was fast aproaching, the day the group of mercs left Sunberth for the Spires. The day was falling quickly and the night was taking over the orange glowing sky, from the flap, Ana could tell from where she lay that Wren would probably be arriving soon.. Hopefully.. Instead of Shroud.. But she highly doubted that. |