Good Samaritan? Nahhh, I just like buildin' stuff! (Solo)

by **Minerva Agatha Zipporah** on April 27th, 2012, 2:35 am

"Ya gotta be bleedin' kiddin' me..." Minerva grumbled. She pushed on the axle, but it wouldn't budge. "Oy! Ya no good piece o'..." She cursed and grunted as she yanked on the axle, trying to pull it back out, but it still wouldn't move. She wrapped both arms around it and pulled, her feet losing traction and scrambling across the ground uselessly. The axle was completely wedged in the hole.

So she started kickng it.

Her kicking, cursing, and shouting was interrupted by yet another voice calling out, "Miss?"

"Leave me alone!" she shouted, still kicking the axle. "I'm busy!"

"What are you doing to my wagon?" the man asked. She turned and looked, and saw it was the merchant. She scowled at him, and shook her mallet at him threateningly.

"Oy," she said, " I ain't done yet! Lemme alone!" The last thing she needed just then was this guy giving her a hard time and interfering with her work. She'd never get anything done with him breathing down her neck.

"What are you doing to my wagon?" he asked, grasping his hair in both hands as if about to pull it out.

"I's fixin' it, ya blimey bludger!" she said, turning back to her work. She reached underneath with the mallet and started banging on the end of the axle, trying to hammer it back out of the hole and free it.

"I thought you knew what you were doing!?" the merchant shouted. "You're going to destroy it!" Just as he said this, she finally managed to un-jam the axle, which clattered on the ground and started rolling away. Minerva rushed over to intercept it, lifting one end and dragging it back. "You're going to make it worse!" the man cried out.

"Oy, shaddup!" Minerva growled at him. "I's fixin' it, and it's gonna be jus' fine, see? Leave off! Quit buggin' me!" She knew she wasn't the best woodworker in the city, but she didn't need some stuffed-shirt merchant telling her what for.

"Have you ever actually FIXED a wagon before?" he asked, starting to go red in the face.

"Well... no," she admitted. "But I seen my granddad do it tons of times. Ain't no worries!" She waved a hand dismissively. She really wanted this guy to leave her alone.

"That's it," the man said, watching her struggle with the weight of the axle. "I'm hiring a professional!"

"Oy, izzat right?" Minerva asked. "Wit' what money? You's broke, guv. Now leave me be, an' I'll 'ave 'er done right quick, aye? Aye."

The merchant looked uncertain. He rubbed a hand across his face, clearly torn between firing her and accepting the free, but shoddy work. Tock cast another glare at him. "Ya still 'ere?" she shouted, waving her mallet at him again. "Leave off! I'll 'ave 'er done 'fore ya know it! SHOO!!" The merchant didn't look happy about it, but he was stuck. He turned and left, since amateur work was, marginally, better than leaving his wagon broken and useless...

by **Minerva Agatha Zipporah** on April 27th, 2012, 4:26 am

Minerva knelt down and examined the hole the axle was SUPPOSED to slide through. She measured it again, and checked the measurements of the axle's width. It turned out it was just a biiiiit too tight. She sighed and brought out the chisels and files again, and set to work widening the hole. She scraped and carved the wood until she was sure it was wide enough now, then worked to smooth it out again and make sure nothing would jam or catch.

Then it was back around to the hole on the other side, carving it out to the same width. When she was finally done, she struggled to lift the axle into the hole, heaving a sigh of relief when it slid in easily this time. It still took some struggles to get it threaded through the hole on the other side, but finally it was in place and rotating smoothly.

After the axle was in, she attached the wheels, and screwed on the new hub caps she'd carved. Then she dropped onto her ass right in the street and leaned back on her hands. "Whew!" she groaned, wiping the sweat from her forehead. Now she just had to test it out, make some final adjustments, and put on the finishing touches.

"Oy, gimme a 'and, aye?" she said as she stood up, grabbing a random passerby by his shirt sleeve. She tugged him over to the wagon, then snagged another person, both strapping young men.

"Umm, wha--?" the first man asked, looking at her in confusion. He turned to leave, saying, "I've got to--"

"Oy, it'll jus' take a sec!" Tock said firmly, grabbing his arm with both of her leather gloved hands and shoving him towards the wagon. "I need ya 'elp for jus' a quickie, aye?" The man sputtered a bit in protest, and was soon joined in his confusion by the second man that Tock firmly pushed over to the front of the wagon.

"Ma'am, what...?" he asked, but Tock cut him right off.

"Look, jus' 'elp me push 'er down the street, aye?" she said. "Quick as a brick, ya won't be late fer nothin'." When they continued feebly protesting, she planted both fists on her hips and stared them down, adding, "Look, ya ain't gonna make ME push it, are ya? Lookit me!" She held her scrawny arms out to the sides, feigning innocence and weakness. Tock was by no means a weak girl, having spent most of her life doing manual labor. But she couldn't push the wagon by herself, and she had to test the wheels out. "I thought you were 'gents, aye? 'Elp a girl out, wouldya? Or is ya gonna leave me 'ere by my lonesome, cause you was too busy to stop fer five seconds an' 'elp a poor little girl out? Aye?" With guilty looks and head scratches, the young men nodded and gave their agreement. Tock lined them up, then kicked the support out from underneath the wagon, and directed the men to start pushing. The wagon rolled up the street (with just a little tolerable wobbling from the new wheel), then back down again without any major snags.

"Oy, thanks!" Tock said, brushing her hands off.

The men mumbled, "Yeah... you're welcome..." and headed off, back to whatever more important things Tock had recruited them from.

She went over the new wheel again, hammering a couple of spots a bit tighter and making some adjustments to the new hub cap. It seemed about as good as it was getting. Short of tearing the whole thing apart and starting fresh again, there wasn't much left for her to do.

But she wasn't satisfied yet.

by **Minerva Agatha Zipporah** on April 27th, 2012, 5:00 am

A little work greasing the axle, smoothing out a few more rough edges, and tightening up a few spots with some mallet work, and the wagon repair was technically done. But there was no sign of the merchant after the last time Minerva drove him off. It was getting a little dark, but she didn't feel like going home yet. She looked around, and saw no one she recognized, no one to collect the wagon, and no one telling her to go home. She was bored.

When Tock was bored, the chisels came out again.

She knelt by the side of the wagon, and decided to add some decoration. Nothing fancy, of course, since she wasn't quite skilled enough for beautiful artwork. But some basic designs should be simple enough. She etched out some simple geometric shapes with a gouge, forming a line of them down the length of the wagon. She measured carefully to try and keep them as uniform and straight as possible, then went back to the start of the line and started with the chisel. She carved out the shapes along the etchings she'd traced with the gouge, only going about a quarter inch deep. It was slow, careful work, but she had nothing better to do.

By the time she made her way around the whole length of the wagon, it was dark. She'd had to take some of the scrap wood and wrap some old rags around it to make a makeshift torch to light her work. She was yawning and bleary as the night wore on, and finally had to admit that she was worn out. She gathered up her tools and headed home, not really caring that the wagon was left unguarded. It wasn't hers, after all.

by **Minerva Agatha Zipporah** on April 27th, 2012, 5:18 am

Early in the morning, Minerva was back at the wagon to finish up. She arrived not long after dawn, and found a bum sleeping in the back of the wagon. She peeked over the edge of the wagon at him, scanning him up and down, then shrugged. She wasn't working on the inside, so he wasn't in her way.

She went back to her chisel work, finishing up the simple designs she had carved around the outside of the wagon. Then she started painting, adding a touch of color. She only had some basic paints to work with, so there wouldn't be anything fancy. She painted a simple set of parallel green lines above and below the carved designs to frame them, then dabbed some yellow into the center of each diamond, circle, and square she had carved.

She was sitting on the ground, painting the wheels, when the merchant finally showed up. "What are you doing?" he demanded. Tock ignored him. She was painting the wheel spokes in alternating green and yellow, and didn't want to be bothered. "You... YOU!" the man said angrily, grabbing her and shaking her. She ended up smearing green paint across the yellow, ruining the wheel.

"Oy, whazza big idea?" she shouted, pushing the man off her. The nerve of some people!

"I didn't ask you to PAINT it!" the merchant yelled. "Just the wheel... just fix the wheel, that was all! What is all this!?" He gestured to the carvings and paint along the wagon's body, sputtering.

"Ya didn't tell me not to," Tock said with a shrug. She turned back to her painting. The smeared parts were just ruined. She gave up on that wheel until it dried and she could put a new coat over it, and moved down to the other wheel. The merchant just stared at her, then started yelling again.

"I told you to STOP!" he shouted. Tock just kept painting, ignoring him.

"Ya never said 'stop'," she muttered. She ran the brush up one spoke and down another, humming to herself and wishing the merchant would just go away and let her work.

"Stop!" he said. "Okay? Stop. You're done. It's fixed, right?" She paused in mid-brushing and looked up at him.

"The WHEEL is fixed, aye," she said. "But I ain't done yet." She turned back to the paint job again.

"Done? Done what? What else does it need?" he asked. "Will it DRIVE? I've got DEADLINES to meet!!!"

"Aye, she'll drive," she muttered. "But she's ugly. Gotta pretty 'er up, aye? Make 'er stand out and--"

"I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S 'PRETTIED UP'!" the merchant shouted. "That's it! Enough! I've got clients waiting for my shipment... and... WHO IS SLEEPING IN THE BACK OF MY WAGON!?" The sleeping bum had woken up during all the shouting. During the time it took the merchant to throw him out and drive him off, Tock managed to finish painting the last wheel.

"Oy, so rude," she muttered, gathering her things up. The merchant turned and glared at her, and she waved the wet paint brush in his face, splattering a little green paint on his chin. "Ya could say 'Thank you,' ya know!"

The merchant ground his teeth, then finally threw his arms out in defeat. "Fine," he said. "Thank you. You fixed it, that's it, now I've REALLY got to get going." He waved his sons over from where they were loafing down the street so they could get the wagon loaded up and ready to go. Tock kept touching up little parts of the paint job while they worked, since she wasn't happy with it yet. The merchant ended up driving off while her brush was still on the wagon, resulting in a long, sloppy green streak across the back as it drove away.

She watched it drive off, looking at the new wheel. It wasn't wobbling that bad...

by **Paragon** on May 3rd, 2012, 4:47 pm

Adventurer's Loot

Minerva's Loot :

I can't tell you how much I loved this! Though you went for certain skills, this was NOT a dull skill grinding thread in the slightest. It had a story, it was great fun, there were lots of flashes of comedy, and also flashes of Minerva's character (who I now love). Well done, you should be proud of this! I gave you a few extra skills you didn't request since I spotted them: intimidation for obvious reasons, bodybuilding for all the hard work, and teaching for showing the boy how to chisel. Nice work indeed - if you have ANY questions or concerns about this grading, don't hesitate to PM me.